Goddess of Pain

by Katie May

  “What…? Huh…?” Confusion mars his face. “Where did you get this?”

  “It fell out of your pocket.” I can’t keep my voice from raising an octave as pain once more spears my heart. How dare he act innocent? How dare he act as if he hadn’t just ripped my still-beating heart straight from my chest and stomped on it? That’s how you can die while still breathing.

  “Okay?” He still sounds genuinely bemused as he carefully folds the paper back up and slides it into his pocket. “Why are you pissed about this? We were going to invite you, you know.” He glances at the other men surrounding me, eyes narrowed into slits, even when his gaze reaches Avery. “The others? Probably not. Like, what the hell, man? What happened to bro-code? You don’t start relationships with your best friends’ little sister.”

  “Don’t you mean, fuck best friends’ little sister,” Sin supplies oh so helpfully. “I heard them going at it in her closet the other day. Apparently, Avery and my girl are into spankings.”

  I’m going to murder him.

  But, knowing the sick bastard, he’ll get off on it.

  Avery has the decency to look sheepish, especially when Ray’s eyes bug out of his head and his face turns an unnatural shade of burgundy.

  “I’m going to fucking murder you—”

  I cut off his tirade; he’ll have time to threaten Avery’s manhood at a later date.

  “Ray, what is that paper? Why did you call Burke?” I’m barely breathing as I wait for his response. Fuck, his answer could either destroy me or rekindle the flames that have steadily diminished with time.

  “The party planner?” Ray quirks a brow. “Jesus, Em, you’re not making any sense. Why are you pissed about this?”

  “Ray, please.” I’m trembling like a leaf in the wind, and only Helio’s hand around my wrist can steady me. I feel another body press against me on the right, and I snuggle into Desmond’s warm, muscular chest.

  “Well, as you know, we’ve been seeing this girl for a while.” Twin flames erupt on his cheeks as he ducks his head. He clears his throat noisily before forging on. “It’s her birthday coming up, so we decided to hire a party planner to surprise her.” He glances up then, and his eyes are almost desperate as he pleads with me. “But we were planning to invite you, I swear. I know you’re pissed, but I promise you, we planned to invite you and introduce you to her.”

  A small tendril of hope takes root in my stomach, the damning emotion growing and growing until it has sprouted into a magnificent tree. I can scarcely believe what I’m hearing.

  They didn’t betray me.

  But…

  All of us immediately turn to stare at Helio, much to Ray’s bemusement. He’ll be able to know innately if Ray is telling the truth using his gifts. He once told me it’s a feeling in the center of his chest, something indescribable. That feeling dictates whether a person is guilty or innocent, and if it’s the former, what the punishment should be.

  When the God of Karma nods, eyes glimmering with suppressed emotion on my behalf, I just barely stop myself from sagging against Desmond in relief.

  A stupid part of me wants to cry as emotions assault me from all angles. Intermingled with them is that pesky guilt once again. This time, I’m easily able to decipher where it stems from.

  How could I have believed that they would betray me? That they were behind this entire mess in the first place? It makes me feel like a shitty sister for seeing the worst in them when they always saw the best in me.

  “You’re acting weird,” Ray says slowly, carefully, eyes poring over my face. “Why are you acting weird?”

  “Because I’m happy,” I sob, launching myself into his arms. He stumbles under my weight before reluctantly hugging me back.

  “There, there,” he whispers awkwardly as he pats my back, and I stifle my laughter. Because Ray and comfort? They go as well together as peanut butter and dog shit.

  “Okay, enough of that!” Desmond, of all people, quite literally rips me from my brother’s arms, a smile firmly in place. I really need to talk to my men about their jealousy issues.

  Though, at the same time, the demented bitch inside of me kind of likes it. And when I say kind of, I mean she spreads her legs like a hussy and constructs a neon sign that says, “Open for business.”

  I know some women won’t think this, but I adore their caveman, possessive attitudes. Call me twisted or fucked up, but it’s the truth. I like knowing I can get under their skin in a way no one else has ever—and will ever—be able to. I like knowing that they're mine just as much as I am theirs. A bond like ours? It can’t be replicated, no matter how much a bitch like Athena tries.

  “If you don’t mind me asking,” Avery begins conversationally, flashing my brother a charming smile. And though his features are a bit softer, a bit kinder, a bit more angelic than my other mates’, I have no doubt that if they ever hurt me, Avery would kill them. He’s fucking fierce and borderline psychotic when it comes to protecting the people he cares about.

  Normally, Ray would smile back, but this time, he merely glares at his best friend, his lips as sharp as a dagger.

  “Actually, I very much would mind you asking,” Ray seethes. “You traitorous cunt—”

  “What’s the name of your girlfriend?” I interrupt, knowing where Avery was going with his question.

  Ray refuses to break his tense stare off with Avery. I have a feeling that a bloodbath between the two is imminent, capable of wreaking havoc and mayhem on the unsuspecting population. I’ll have to warn my God of Death not to use his powers on my brother.

  Huffing out a breath when Ray doesn’t respond, I dig into his pockets and remove his phone.

  Tate hisses, glaring at where my hand rests, but I merely give him a dull look.

  “Really, asshole? He’s my fucking brother.”

  In response, Tate flips me off.

  “You could’ve just asked,” Ray snaps, not tearing his gaze away from a scowling Avery. It’s one expression I’ve never seen on my lover and best friend. He’s always so happy and up-beat…even when he’s murdering people. And though I see anger emanating from his eyes, I also see hurt, so prominent that I nearly choke on it.

  He’s upset that he doesn’t have my brother’s approval to date me. Despite regaining his memories from our time in the Realm of the Gods, he still considers Ray one of his best friends, and he’s hurt that Ray doesn’t trust him enough to date me.

  I make a promise to myself that I’ll talk to Avery about this at a later date as I type in Ray’s password.

  “One, two, three, four,” Desmond snorts, staring over my shoulder at the screen. “Really?”

  Ray finally tears his gaze away from Avery to glare at Des.

  “Fuck you. And seriously, Em, what do you want with my phone?”

  “I just want to see…” I click on his photo icon and freeze when I see the most recent picture, taken just last night. My lungs suddenly seem incapable of taking in air, and my heart roars in my chest. Desmond, still behind me, freezes before releasing a muffled curse. Helio leans close as well, his dark beard scratching against my shoulder as he stares at the picture with me.

  “Is anyone going to tell us what’s going on, or do you want us to guess?” Tate asks, irritated.

  “It’s…it’s her.”

  “Are you talking about my girlfriend?” Ray demands, lunging forward to take the phone from me. “Do you know her? Why are you acting so fucking weird?” The last statement is said as a low grumble as he shoves his phone back into his pocket.

  But despite the picture no longer being in front of me, I can still see her face. Her mousy brown hair and elfin features. Those keen eyes usually hidden away behind a thin pair of glasses. Her lips pulled back into an easy-going, familiar smile.

  Rebecca.

  My best friend.

  A goddess.

  And apparently, my brothers’ new girlfriend.

  If there’s one thing life has shown me, it’s that there are
no coincidences. There’s no way for me to deny it anymore, and I try to swallow around the lump of betrayal that had crawled its way up my throat like a disgusting, hairy spider.

  Rebecca is the goddess who took away my memories and put me on the Earthen realm. She’s also the one who wants me dead.

  And I’m going to have to kill her, and destroy my brothers in the process.

  CHAPTER 22

  “Can I just say that I’m officially the most badass motherfucker here?” Desmond stands with a cocksure grin, scrubbing his hands down the front of his pitch-black shirt. Behind him, the door with the lock he was attempting to pick swings open on nearly inaudible hinges.

  “Do you want a trophy?” Tate sneers, shoving past the grinning God of Combat.

  “If the trophy is for the biggest cock, then yes,” Des quips in response, his smile widening at the vitriol spewing from Tate’s dark, nearly obsidian eyes. Obviously, I know they’re not actually black but a dark, mahogany brown—on closer inspection, you can see tiny specks of gold surrounding the pupil like fireworks.

  “Put your dicks away, and let’s get to work,” I huff as I enter the modest, two-bedroom apartment. It has a similar floorplan to my own, with a kitchen situated immediately to my left and a hallway to my right. However, there’s a large peach-colored wall that divides the kitchen from the living room.

  “It’s empty,” Avery declares as he does a quick check of all the rooms.

  It was surprisingly easy to get Rebecca’s address from my brothers, not that they knew what we were doing to begin with. All I needed to do was snatch one of their phones when they were distracted and click on Rebecca’s contact information. And now, here we are.

  A tangle of nerves resides in my stomach at the deception, but I keep my emotions at bay. I have a job to do, and that includes stopping the dumbass bitch who’s trying to hurt me and my family.

  My eyes rove around the cute, modern kitchen before I head through an archway and into the living room. There’s an exterior door that leads onto a small deck, but since the apartment complex is devoid of trees, all I can see are the sides of the other apartment buildings, all of them in pastel, muted colors.

  “This is a pretty shitty villain lair,” Sin muses as he moves to stand beside me, resting his chin on my shoulder. “Nothing’s flammable.”

  “Sometimes, I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.” Twisting my head sideways, I meet his piercing gaze. And then I lower my eyes to his completely naked body, his cock already erect and twitching. “Motherfucker. Sin! Where are your clothes?”

  “Clothes are restrictive,” he states with a nonchalant shrug. He wraps an arm around my waist to turn me towards where his immaculate suit now lies in a crumpled ball on the floor of the dining room. “Isn’t this…freer?” His hot tongue licks from the edge of my chin to just under my eye. I think he’s going to stop there, but he continues higher until he’s licking first one eye and then the other, laughing hysterically when I wiggle away in disgust.

  “You’re ridiculous!” I huff, scrubbing at my slimy skin when he refuses to let me go.

  “But you still love me, right?” For a moment—a brief, and yet prolonged moment—vulnerability creeps across his expression, like a malevolent shadow crawling out from underneath the bed at night. Sin is made of spun glass that I know is going to eventually shatter. I’m under no illusion that when he breaks, he’ll take one of those shards to stab my other men in the neck. Not me, though. Despite everything, Sin will never lay a hand on me…unless I ask him to.

  “Of course I love your crazy ass.” I spin, dislodging his chin from my shoulder, and capture his cheeks in my palms. “Now, we need to raid this fucking place and see what Rebecca’s hiding.” Pitching my voice so my other men can hear me, I add, “And leave everything where you found it! I don’t want her to know we’re on to her.”

  I can only pray that my brothers remain silent on the fact that I know now of her identity. If not…

  Detangling myself from a rather reluctant Sin, I head towards the television stand, lower myself to the ground, and begin sifting through the drawers. Nothing but DVDs and XBox games.

  “You okay?” Helio grunts from behind me. I swivel my head slightly to see him standing against the far wall, his arms crossed over his chest in his customary battle stance. This man…he’s always in the shadows, lurking in the darkness. I think it’s his way of seeing everything but not being seen himself. He’s a lion hiding beneath the tall grass of an African field, seconds from pouncing on an unsuspecting prey.

  “No,” I admit, knowing that there’s no use lying to him. “But I will be.” Spinning on my ass completely to face him, I lift my knees up until they’re flush against my chest, wrapping my arms around both of my legs.

  Helio, after a moment of consideration, mimics my posture from across the room.

  Waiting.

  Always waiting.

  Always allowing me to choose what I want to tell him instead of demanding the answers from me.

  There’s a reason I fell in love with Helio, and it’s not because of his big cock. Falling in love with him was as easy as breathing. It’s like that moment when you’re on a swing, kicking your legs out to pump yourself higher and higher. The wind rustles your hair and caresses your face as you lose yourself to the repetitive motion. And then, someone materializes behind you and begins to push. Now you can go even higher, even faster, and you don’t have to do any of the work itself.

  That may be a horrible, shitty, cliché analogy, but that’s what it feels like with Helio—like he’s pushing me on that damn swing, taking me to new heights. I know I can trust him implicitly to never let me fall, for if I did, he’d catch me.

  “Rebecca was my best friend,” I admit at last, my voice a gravelly whisper. Emotion bombards me from all sides, like the walls of the room are rapidly closing in on me. I nervously lick my upper lip as I try to get a handle on my feelings. “And then I discover that she kissed Desmond? That she may be behind this entire shit show? What am I going to do, Helio? If I can’t even trust her, who can I trust?”

  I drop my head into my hands as my body shakes, just shakes. I don’t know for certain if it’s with sobs or adrenaline or something else entirely.

  “You can trust us,” he whispers after a moment of pregnant silence. I lift my head marginally and stare at him through my fringe of lashes. He’s scooted slightly closer, his thick lips curled into a frown beneath his dark beard. “You can always trust us.”

  “But can I?” I whisper. Because I have a rather long record of being betrayed. Maybe it’s made me cynical over the years…or maybe it’s made me wise.

  Helio doesn’t answer, his gaze reminiscent of gravity itself, holding me in place and refusing to release me.

  And I know the answer before I say it out loud.

  Yes. Yes, I can trust them.

  They’re probably the only people in both of these worlds that I can trust. They loved me as Emily, Goddess of Pain, and they love me even now as Emily Lopez, college student extraordinaire struggling to remember her past. I don’t think there’s anything I can do to turn them away. People like us? We’re inevitable and infinite. A love like ours can’t die, even with all of our memories wiped. Even in an entirely separate universe. We’ll always be the moon and the stars—the two things that appear almost every night. Monsters like us thrive in the darkness, but our combined lights are able to illuminate something beautiful, something ethereal, something distinctly ours.

  “Guys, I think I found something!” Desmond calls from farther down the hall. He reappears a moment later, a naked Sin directly behind him. The God of Flame’s cock presses against Desmond’s fully clothed ass, and I almost laugh at the expression on Desmond’s face. “Man, we talked about this. Personal space. Personal. Space.” Without thought, he swats at Sin’s cock, but it merely bounces back into place, brushing against Desmond’s hand.

  “It’s rude not to say hello to it,” Sin deadpans.r />
  “You found something?” I interrupt, diverting their attention back to me as I clumsily stand. Desmond sighs in noticeable relief, easily sidestepping Sin’s dick, but my God of Flames almost appears annoyed, as if he’s pissed his cock isn’t getting any attention and love. I’ll have to rectify that situation, and soon.

  Desmond holds up a vibrant, neon slip of paper.

  A flyer, I realize dumbly. Ripping it from his hands, I pore over the words on the sheet.

  “There’s a rager happening on the corner of Main and 8th street. At the club there,” I summarize.

  “And you think Rebecca’s going to be there?” Desmond quirks a dark brow. “Shy, soft-spoken Rebecca? Who constantly carries exactly three pencils and a pink planner?”

  A pang of jealousy hits my chest with the force of a wrecking ball at the realization that he knows so much about my ex-best friend. Especially considering the fact that she kissed him. I know he claims that he didn’t return her kiss and that he has no feelings for her, but even his reassurances can’t quell the blinding jealousy percolating inside of me.

  “She circled the location twice,” I snap before I can stop myself. “And I bet if we take a look at her calendar, it’ll say—”

  “Crystals?” Tate supplies, entering from one of the bedrooms. He holds an opened calendar in his hands. “At nine PM sharp?”

  “So we’re going to a club?” Sin claps excitedly, jumping up and down. My eyes fix automatically onto his bouncing cock. “I always wanted to set a club on fire.”

  “You know what?” Desmond casts my eccentric lover a long, indecipherable look before shaking his head in disgust. “Someone else deal with him. I can’t.”

  He makes a beeline towards me, yelps suddenly, and spins towards Sin with his hands covering his ass. His rather nude ass, seeing as a certain someone burned away his pants and boxers.

  “Whoops,” Sin deadpans.

  “Come on,” I break in before a fight can commence. Because a fight between gods? You can bet your ass that whole continents will be casualties. “I don’t think there’s anything else here.”