by J. L. Beck
Sweet baby Jesus.
I let go of her hair and take a step back, my dick sliding out of her mouth as I do. I have to lean against the vanity behind me as I tuck my dick back in and zip up my pants. Fuck, I don’t think I’ve come so hard from a blow job. In fact, I didn’t expect this one to be all that good. Once again, I’m proven wrong. My once upon a time, innocent Harper is anything but innocent. Now she’s a sexy siren, probably riding and sucking dick like it’s a professional sport.
Composing myself, I look down at Harper kneeling on the floor. Her hands are in her lap, her hair is a sexy mess, and her lips are swollen. Her eyes are still filled with tears, and when our gazes collide, I feel an imaginary boot slam into my gut.
Pain ricochets through my body, and I take an unsteady step back. I already know what’s happening here, and I’m not falling for it. Not falling for the innocent fucking act. She isn’t innocent. She played me like a fucking fiddle, broke my heart, destroyed my belief in her, and every other woman after her. She ruined me, and now it’s time for her to pay the price.
Reaching into my back pocket, I pull out my wallet, “How much do I owe you.”
Fire zings across her face, and her hands become tiny clenched fists.
Hit me, baby. I like it rough.
“You’re a fucking dick and a crazy asshole. Leave me alone.” She starts to push up off the floor, but I laugh and use my hand to push her back down.
“You get up when I say you can get up, not a second sooner.” She looks like she might try and fight me on it but doesn’t move. I like her like this. Obedient, well-behaved. It almost makes me forget about how she betrayed me.
Almost…
“I hate you,” she spits, and I can feel her words as if they’re beating against my chest.
Plucking a twenty from my wallet, I toss it at her, and then I lean down into her face. Looking at her bee-stung lips, heart-shaped face, soft, delicate features that would crack underneath the pressure of my hand. Mark her. Break her. The beast inside me roars, but I shake off the vicious voice. There will be other chances to hurt her.
Instead, I hammer the final nail into her coffin. “Hate me all you want. But know that I hate you enough for the both of us, and no amount of begging, pleading, or tears will ever change that.” And without even waiting for her to respond, I unlock the door and walk out of the bathroom, leaving the door open so the entire hallway can see what we’ve just done. I have nothing to hide, everyone knows I’m a manwhore, a user of women, but no one knows the reason why. Now Harper can get a taste of my medicine, she can lay in the bed that she’s made.
4
Harper
The door swings open, and Warren walks out, leaving me behind. I’m on my knees, a twenty-dollar bill lying next to me, and I’m pretty sure I still have come on my swollen lips. To make matters worse, a few people look inside, gawking at me like I’m some sideshow.
I get up as fast as I can, tripping over my feet in the process and shut the door, needing a moment to myself. Turning on the faucet, I splash some ice-cold water on my face.
What did I just do? One minute I’m dancing, having a grand time, and the next, I’m on my knees, giving the only guy I’ve ever loved a blow job. Not to mention my first ever blow job. I shiver, feeling cold all over. He acted like I was supposed to know what I was doing. Why the hell would he think that?
I can still feel his cock at the back of my throat, taste his salty release on my tongue. Was I turned on by what we’d done? A little, okay, more than a little. Mostly though, I just feel empty and used. Tears sting my eyes. I don’t want to cry, not really, but the emotions within me are too strong. For years I’ve wondered what I did wrong, why he never said goodbye, why he changed. After tonight, after I saw the darkness in his eyes, I know whatever it is that made him hate me, it was bad. Horrible. And yet, I can’t think of one thing I ever did to him to make him lash out like this at me.
It takes me forever to pull myself together, and I lean against the counter, doing everything I can to gain my composure. A drunk chick stumbles into the bathroom, her eyes are bloodshot and glassy. Her red-stained lips turn into a smirk like she knows something I don’t know.
“Could you like, get out?” She slurs and stumbles toward me.
“Gladly,” I shove past her and into the hall. The door slams promptly behind me, and then there I am, standing in the middle of a frat house after giving Warren a blow job in the bathroom. I knew I should’ve fought against Valerie bringing me here. Stupid. I’m so stupid. Swiping at my eyes with the back of my hand, I slowly walk down the crowded hall. I make it all of ten feet before a hand clamps down on my shoulder.
Not this again. Without even thinking, I whirl around with my fist clenched, ready to slug Warren right in his stupid jaw. I’ve had enough for one night. I. Am. Done.
“Whoa, baby…” The guy I don’t know sees me with my fist raised and takes a step back. The area is already congested with bodies making it hard to breathe and move.
“Don’t call me baby, and don’t touch me again,” I growl and start to twist back around. Again, my movements are halted when the shit for brains frat boy lunges at me and shoves me into the opposite wall. My back hits first, then my head, bouncing off of it like a ball against the concrete.
“Come on, don’t be that way. I saw pretty boy come out of the bathroom there,” he points in the direction, “and then I saw you on the floor on your knees. You can’t tell me you don’t want more thick cock in that pretty mouth of yours.” His eyes are glassy, and he smells like a damn distillery. I open my mouth to respond to him, but he takes that moment to swipe his thumb across my bottom lip. I don’t even think as I bite the digit, my teeth sinking in his flesh like it’s a nice juicy steak.
With a squeal, he pulls his hand back, the lustful gaze he had been giving me seconds ago becomes murderous. “You fucking bitch,” he snarls.
“Yeah, I’m a bitch, and when I tell you to leave me alone, maybe listen and actually Leave. Me. Alone.” I enunciate each word incase his small brain can’t comprehend it.
His gaze narrows and his lips pull into a grim smile. I can feel his gaze on me, and it makes my skin crawl.
“You’ll open your mouth for Warren, but you won’t for me? You know he doesn’t mind sharing his girls.”
“I’m not Warren’s girl, so you can kindly fuck off.” I interrupt, completely dismissing him. All I want to do is find Valerie and escape this fucking hell hole.
He nods, his eyes alone promise a world of pain, though he doesn’t take another step toward me, “Okay, I’ll be sure to let everyone know who you are…and that when they need a blow job, you’re the girl to come to.”
“Say whatever you want. I don’t care. Just leave me alone.” I slip past him and all but run down the hall, refusing to look back and see if he’s following me. When I reach the living room, I pull my cell out of my pocket and prepare to dial Valerie’s number. My finger hovers over the green call key, but I survey the room one last time and spot her across the living room, sitting on some guy’s lap.
Jesus. I can’t do this right now. Walking over to her on wobbly legs, I stop dead in my tracks when I find Warren standing there. Smug and confident, he doesn’t look like he just got a blow job in the bathroom, he looks like a god. He brings the cup in his hands to his full lips and takes a sip. Everything inside me says to walk away, to leave without talking to Valerie, but I can’t. I came with her, so I owe it to her to let her know I’m leaving. Holding my chin high, I take another step, and then another. From this spot, he can oversee the entire room. Almost like he’s on his throne merely waiting to lash out at someone who steps out of line.
“Val,” I call out to her. She’s locked lips with some frat boy, probably one of Warren’s friends. Knowing she probably won’t hear from the distance I’m at, I walk right over to her and grab her by the arm, tugging her backward. The kiss breaks, and she whirls around, shrugging out of my hold.
“What the hell—”
“Let’s go. I want to leave.” I don’t dare look over at Warren. I can feel his hot gaze on me though, moving over my flesh. Heat blooms in my cheeks, and I try and ignore the feelings forming in my gut. Ignore him. I tell myself.
Valerie stares at me for a second before shaking her head, “No. I’m not leaving. I’m having fun, and you should be too.”
“Fun?” I snort. “Getting herpes from a frat boy at a party is what you call fun?”
“Whatever, Harper,” she rolls her eyes, “Go back to your apartment and cry some more about how alone you are. I’m sure all your friends will care… wait, you don’t have any.” That’s a low blow but not surprising. Valerie is known for saying mean stuff when she drinks, and even meaner stuff when she’s around her friends.
Sighing, I clench my jaw to stop myself from lashing out at her. Of course, this entire conversation has to happen within ten feet of my biggest bully.
“Yes, Harper, why don’t you run along…” Warren’s voice grates on my last nerve. Concentrating on my breathing, I force air in my lungs.
“I’m leaving, Val,” I tell her, but all she does is roll her eyes and go back to kissing the guy who has his arms wrapped around her like an octopus.
“Nobody cares,” one of the guys standing beside Warren yells as I turn and walk away. When I reach the door and walk outside, I feel a little better. Like I can breathe and think properly.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I walk in the direction of my apartment complex. It’s only a couple of blocks away, but it might as well be a thousand miles after everything I’ve dealt with tonight. Each step I take away from the house, the softer the music gets, and the clearer my thoughts on what happened become.
Holy shit, I gave Warren a blow job. I guess before it hadn’t really hit me, but it has now, like a train running into me head-on.
What did I do? Why did I do it, and why the hell did I like it? I search my brain for an answer but find nothing. When it came to Warren and me, we were best friends, but also much more than that. Before my life fell apart and we moved, I was sure that we would marry and live happily ever after. Oh, how wrong I was. Warren wasn’t prince charming. He wasn’t a knight. He had become what true nightmares were made of. My bully. My monster. My tormentor.
Once upon a time, he had protected me from them. Staring straight ahead, I’m hit right in the chest with a memory from when he was my savior, my all…
How is it that I’d much rather have things thrown at me than be called names? At least, I could clean my clothes, my skin. But words, those couldn’t be washed away. They sunk deep into a person’s heart.
“Where did you get those shoes, fatty? Goodwill?” Tanya one of my least favorite people ever taunts as I walk into the lunchroom. I can feel her evil eyes against my skin. Without Warren, as my shield, I’m nothing more than a target for everyone’s hate. I don’t do anything to draw their attention, and I learned a long time ago, there isn’t any point in fighting back. I’m a maid’s daughter, in a school full of rich assholes.
Keeping my eyes trained on the floor, I make it through the line with my tray of food in hand. Warren was supposed to meet me for lunch, but he’s late, so I guess I’ll just sit by myself. Peeking up through my lashes, I survey the room. There are students everywhere, which makes me feel a little anxious. I hate being in crowds. Deciding that maybe eating in the bathroom is my best bet, I make a beeline for the double doors that lead out into the hall.
Walking, I keep my eyes trained on my steps, and not on what’s going on around me, which is most definitely why I don’t notice Griffin until it’s too late. The asshole jock slams into me, sending my tray filled with my lunch right into my chest.
“Ooopssss,” he snickers, taking a step back. I don’t dare look at my shirt because if I do, I know I’ll start crying.
“Wrong move, prick,” Warren’s voice comes out of nowhere, and when I look past Griffin’s stocky frame, I spot him. My savior, my white knight. I can breathe a little better, my lungs fill with air at the sight of him. Running across the space separating us, with his fist clenched and his face a mask of fury, he truly does look like a knight. A knight who is about to save his princess…
That wasn’t the first time Warren ever hit someone for hurting me. There were many times before that, and after, that he defended my honor. Blinking away the memory, I remind myself that Warren isn’t that boy anymore. The one that beat the crap out of a guy for making me wear my lunch.
Lost in thought, I realize how close to my apartment I am. As I walk the rest of the way, this eerie feeling creeps up my spine, the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
Someone is watching me. Whirling around, my gaze darts over every little thing. The lights in this area are dim and fewer than a couple blocks back, making it difficult to see. Anyone could be hiding in the shadows, though it’s probably just Warren following me home, trying to get the upper hand and scare me.
Shaking the feeling away, I hurry the rest of the way to the apartment, picking up speed with each step I take. I’m only a block away when it happens.
Out of nowhere, someone grabs me from behind. With his hands clawing at my upper arms, he drags me into the alley next to my apartment complex. A shrill, piercing scream rips from my lungs, but I might as well do nothing because, in this neighborhood, you can shoot guns, and no one cares.
Panic grips me by the neck and squeezes tightly as my attacker spins me around and pushes me against the cold brick wall. It’s dark, and I’m disoriented, my vision blurry with tears. Frantically, I flail my arms around, trying to get this guy away from me.
This is bad. This is so bad. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die in a horrible way.
“Where the fuck are you going?” Warren’s deep voice wraps around my throat, just as he gets a hold of my wrists, halting my movements.
Sucking in a shaky breath, realization sets in…Warren. This is Warren. Even though he has been an ass to me, especially today. I can’t help but feel relieved to see him. He was my protector for so long, it’s hard not to feel safe with him, no matter how he is acting toward me now.
“Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!” I sob. I hate that I’m crying, but I really thought I was gonna die in this alley. I need to move, find somewhere safer to stay, but I can’t afford anything else right now.
“Why the fuck are you here?” His voice is deep, rough, and with his hands still on my arms, I can feel his touch burning through my thin jacket.
“I’m staying with a friend. She lives right over there,” I explain, pointing toward my apartment. I don’t want him to know where I live, that’s the last thing I need right now. In the shadows, it’s hard to make out his face, but I can see the flicker of excitement in his gaze. This might be as bad as thinking someone was going to get me after all.
“Why are you following me?”
His lips tip up into a sadistic smile, “Because I’m not done with you. That blow job was nice, but I want more.” He takes a step closer, pinning me to the wall with his body, his hard bulge pressing into my stomach. A warmth burns through me. I want him, even though I know I shouldn’t. Instantly, I’m reminded of how his cock felt in my mouth, the salty tang of his release, and how wet I was kneeling before him. Warmth gives way to intense cold when I remember how he left me in that bathroom, how he treated me afterward, and how he acted in front of his friends—like I was nothing, no one.
Fuck him. I might be a nobody now, but at some point, I was somebody to him, and that should matter. It should fucking matter. Deep-rooted anger mixes with pain, and it hits me like a freight train, filling me with a newfound strength.
I don’t have to do this...deal with him, let him manhandle me like I’m some piece of meat. Taking all that energy, I force it into shoving him away from me. The shove is hard, but it only moves him an inch. Cold tears streak my cheeks as I stand on shaky legs, partially leaning against the brick wall.
I
hate how weak I am right now. How broken I feel because of him. Looking up, I see Warren’s face is a mixture of shock and something else, something deeper. I don’t bother to internalize that look. All I want is for him to go away.
“Don’t ever fucking touch me again!” I yell, my voice dripping with hurt and disappointment. I’m so disappointed in him, but more so in myself. At what we’ve become. How did we get here? What did I do to make him hate me so much?
I almost sigh in relief when his arms fall down to his sides, and even in the dim light, I can make out his facial expression, and see that he is feeling the same way. Taking that chance to escape, I push past him and run the last block to my place, only stopping when I’ve made it inside. Slamming the door behind me, I lock the deadbolt and slide down the door, trying to catch my breath.
I sink my fingers into my hair and try and drown out the throbbing forming behind my eyes. Tonight, I made a mistake, one that I won’t make again. Warren got the best of me, in more than one way, but next time, he won’t. Next time, I’ll be ready.
5
Warren
I drop the weights at my feet and blow out a harsh breath. My muscles burn, and sweat drips down my back and forehead, but I feel lighter and more at ease now. Shaking out my limbs, I contemplate running on the treadmill to tire myself out.
Lately, all I’ve been able to do is work out. The idea of having sex with another chick… it makes me feel nauseous. It also makes me angry as hell because that means Harper is sinking her little claws into my skin and worming her way into my brain.
My best prick of a friend drops his own weights, and I can feel him watching me.