by J. L. Beck
“What the fuck?” I growl.
“You’ve been acting weird. Is something going on?” Parker asks, “Anything you want to talk about?” He sits down on one of the nearby benches. Who is he? Doctor Phil? He gets a girlfriend, and suddenly he’s grown a heart? Yeah, no. I don’t want to talk about all the fucked up feelings that are barely contained beneath my skin.
“Nothing is going on, just been stressed. You know how my dad gets about my grades and keeping up appearances.” I shove a hand through my sweaty mop of hair. I’m not lying, not really. My dad does ride my ass about my grades. Keeping up appearances? Not so much.
Parker tilts his head to the side, “Right…” He scoffs. “You know you can’t lie to me. I know you too well. Out with it, who pissed in your cheerios?”
“No one,” I can feel the frustration that I just burned off, building again. Like a steaming pot, I’m close to boiling over all over again.
“Dude, that chick from the party…” Easton comes walking over to us. The guy can be a total douchebag, and he’s a bigger asshole than even I am, and that speaks volumes.
“What girl?” I ask, entertaining the idea of a conversation. Anything is better than being forced to spill my guts to Parker.
“Yeah, what girl?” Parker perks up his interest in the subject, annoying me further.
Easton rolls his eyes, “The chick that gave you a bj in the bathroom. The hooker.” He’s looking at me like I’m an idiot, and I’m half-tempted to punch him in his stupid face. Then I realized what he just called Harper, and I clench my hand into a fist, my teeth grinding so hard I swear they’re seconds away from shattering.
“What did you just call her?” I seethe, not even attempting to hide my anger.
“The hooker. What’s her name? Hannah or Harper?” His brow furrows in confusion, probably not understanding why I’m reacting the way I am. Well, I don’t understand either.
I don’t care about girls. They’re nice to look at and to fuck, but that’s as far as my feelings go for them. I use them as a place to put my dick, so why the fuck am I getting territorial and pissed over someone calling Harper a whore?
Because she’s yours, and nobody fucks with what’s yours. A voice inside my head says. Easton continues without question, “Apparently, after you walked out of the bathroom, James walked in. She asked him if he wanted a blow job, and James being James, said yeah. She sucked him off right there. He said it was the best blow job he’s ever had for twenty bucks.” He laughs like it’s so funny.
“I’m pretty sure I saw this chick working the pole across town. I swear I’ve seen her there, at the Night Shift. So, next time I’m there, I’m going to see what a twenty can get me.”
I don’t know what sets me off then. Like a wildfire spreading out of control, I lash out. Grabbing Easton by the throat, I shove him against the wall, my lip curls back, and I can feel the dark venom filling my veins. Even if she isn’t mine, she won’t be anyone else’s either. I’ll be the one to break her, to hurt her, to make her bleed.
“Don’t even think about touching her. She’s mine…” I basically spit the words at him before I can stop myself. Mine? She’s not mine. She’s not anything, just some stupid girl I had a crush on when we were kids. His gaze widens before it simply turns into confusion. Fuck, I’m confused myself.
Releasing him with a shove, knowing that this is not his fault. It’s hers, it’s all her fault. I whirl around and grab my towel off the bench beside Parker. I’m beyond agitated now, enraged even. I knew she slept around, did shit with other guys, but I guess knowing about it and hearing it are two different things.
“What the fuck was that?” Parker’s voice meets my ears, and I feel him trailing behind me as I exit the weight room.
“Don’t make it into something more than it is, and it won’t be anything,” I answer without turning around. I need to go back to my apartment and change, but more than that, I need to talk to Harper. She’s the reason for this burning rage… and she needs to be the one I dispense it on. Her appearing back in my life is causing mass chaos, and I need to end this, get her the fuck away before something bad happens.
“Dude!” He grabs onto my shoulder, pulling me backward at the same time. I spin around, ready to punch one of my best friends in the face. Like a fly that won’t go away, he just keeps annoying me.
“I said to fucking leave it.” My nostrils flare… I’m going to explode, shatter and all because of that brown hair, hazel-eyed girl.
Parker’s gaze flicks from my face and down to my fists and back up again. He’s not scared. He can take a punch or five, but that’s not the point. I don’t want to punch him. I want to ignore these feelings. This anger and madness.
“You’ve never stuck up for a girl. You’ve also never looked at me like you are right now, so unless you want to throw down, I suggest you tell me what the fuck is going on?”
“I’m not in the mood for this.” I shrug his hand off. “And I don’t want to fight with you. Just leave it alone.” I do my best to remain calm, but all the perfect ingredients for a storm are brewing inside of me, and I know it will soon be unleashed, bringing down everything in my path.
Parker shakes his head, “Sure, just ignore it. Seems like it’s working well for you.”
“I don’t want to talk about her. Not with you or anyone else.”
“Who is she? Is she that girl from the lunchroom? The one you looked like you could kill with a single glance?” I forgot about that day. He had seen her too and even asked about her. I told him she was a ghost, and that’s exactly what she is. A ghost that haunts my every thought.
Leaning into his face, so I can prove a point, I sneer, “She is no one. Now. Leave. It. Alone. I’m not you Parker. I won’t ever fall at my knees for her like you did Willow. What she did to me, there is no coming back from that.”
Something flickers in Parker’s eyes, his jaw tightens, and he takes a step back.
“Okay, if you don’t want to talk about it, then whatever…”
I damn near sigh in relief. Any more talk about Harper and my brain might explode. It’s bad enough that she’s everywhere I look. I don’t have to torment myself further by saying her name out loud.
“Let’s get some grub. I’m fucking starving.” I let the tension ease out of me.
“Okay, let me text Willow and tell her we’re going to lunch.” Parker pulls out his cell. I roll my eyes, but I understand. I’m happy for him. He found love and happiness after all the darkness. Too bad my story won’t end the same.
After what I heard about Harper earlier, I think it’s time I shake things up a bit. I think it’s time that I make it known that she’s mine to take from, mine to fuck, mine to hurt and break.
It takes a shit-ton of patience, but I somehow manage to keep myself busy waiting for Harper to be released from her last class. I can’t help but check her out as she slips from the auditorium and down the long hall toward the double doors that lead outside.
I could have asked Parker to figure out what dorms Harper lives in, but he has been bothering me enough about her. So, I’m doing the next best thing… following her like a creep. Making sure I stay far enough behind her not to seem suspicious, I walk with her, never taking my eyes off of her.
Surprisingly, she passes all the dorms and starts to walk off the campus. As soon as I realize she is walking in the direction of the neighborhood, I caught her in the other night, my irritation grows. She said she was staying with a girlfriend, but I had my doubts right away. Does she have a boyfriend here? If she does, I’ll kill him, then I’ll fuck her right in front of his body just to drive the point home.
With every step I take, the anger in my gut festers. I can’t stop thinking about her having a boyfriend or even a fuck buddy. My lip curls all on its own, my body vibrating with energy.
We walk for about fifteen minutes before we make it to the same building I saw her run into the other night. She unlocks the front door and slips inside. B
olting forward, I grip onto the edge of the door before it can close all the way. Startled by my presence, she twists around with her fist raised up in the air, her gaze hard.
Pushing inside, I snicker, “Who are you gonna hurt with those?”
“Seriously, Warren? Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?” Turning away from me, she starts walking up the stairs, her feet stomping on each step. Letting my gaze wander, I can see that the whole place is falling apart, and Jesus fucking Christ, it smells like a urinal in here. How does anyone live here? I feel dirty just stepping in this place.
“Good thing I don’t care what you want.” I follow her without another word. I need to see where she is going and who the fuck she is staying with. The impulse is too strong. I want to know everything, but especially why the fuck she is staying here when she has a scholarship and should be in the dorms.
“Go away, Warren. I’m not letting you inside.” Our eyes lock as she looks at me over her shoulder. Is this the part where I leave? Because if so, she’s sorely mistaken. Stopping at a door on the left side, she fumbles with the key. Obviously, she’s distracted.
Staring up at the ceiling, I direct my attention back to her when she finally gets it to go inside the lock and turns it. As soon as she pushes the door open, I spring forward, wrapping an arm around her waist, and carrying her into the room.
“You didn’t really think that would get rid of me?” I ask with a grin. Yes, I know I’m an asshole, but I have my reasons just as any asshole does. She skirts away from me, and I shut the door, closing us inside together. Alone at last.
“I was hoping it would.” She huffs, switching on the light.
Taking in the tiny apartment, if you can even call it that, it’s more like a small room, barely enough space to hold a twin-size bed, a kitchenette, a table and chair. Harper throws her bag down next to the bed and peels her jacket off. And then it hits me like a kick to the ball sack. She lives here. This is her fucking apartment. There is no friend, no boyfriend either, or fuckboy, at least not in sight.
“You lied to me. You said you were staying with a friend.” I pin her with an accusing glare.
She rolls her pretty hazel eyes, “I didn’t want you to know where I live. Well, now, you know. Congratulations. Sorry, it’s not up to your standards. There are no butlers, or maids, no chefs, and the bed doesn’t have Egyptian cotton sheets.” No, there definitely isn’t any of that here. This looks like a room that a whore would use to sell herself out of.
“Actually, my standards are pretty low. I’m here with you, aren’t I?”
“Whenever you’re done with your insults, you can go ahead and leave, doors over there in case you can’t pull your head out of your ass and find it.”
Good one. Ignoring what she said because I don’t really care what she has to say, I get straight to the point. The real reason I came here.
Taking a step toward her, I let myself turn into the predator. “Heard you sucked off someone else at the party. James, I believe. That’s going to stop. If you have to stay at this school, the only cock you’re going to suck, ride, or choke on will be mine.”
“Of course, someone saw what happened.” She shakes her head, her eyes colliding with mine. Fire sparks between us, zinging through the air. “I did not and will not fuck anyone else, and above all you!” Her words slice through me like a dull knife, and before I know what I’m doing, I close the distance between us in one large stride. I’m like a caged monster that’s been freed. My hand flies up, and my fingers wrap around her delicate throat. Fragile, so fragile, like glass. Pushing her back until she falls onto the bed, I climb on top of her.
“You spread your legs for who knows who, but not for me?” With my free hand, I start to undo her blouse. The heat of her skin beckons me forward. She’s a beacon of light in my dark mind, and I want to dull out her light. Trying with little effect, she slaps me away, but that just makes me tighten my grip on her throat.
Careful… I tell myself, my eyes piercing hers. The blackness bleeds out of me, filling the room to the point of suffocation. I can’t breathe. All I can do is feel. Feel the pain, the sadness, the anger. That’s what seeing her does to me. It brings out the worst in me.
“Don’t,” she pleads, and I try to ignore the panic in her voice, but it calls to me. I want to hear her cries, of want, of fear.
An inch from her face, I snarl, “Don’t what? Hurt you? Break your heart like you broke mine?” Her eyes widen at my words, confusion reflecting in them like she doesn’t understand what I’m saying, or why I’m acting like this. Surely, she doesn’t think that I forgot her secret? She opens her mouth to say something, but I don’t let her. I can’t listen to another lie coming out of her mouth.
Easing back, I let my eyes roam down over her perfect body. She still looks so innocent; she still looks like my Harper, and that only makes all of this so much worse.
All over again, she’s here in front of me but somehow lost forever. I’m so fucking furious, I feel like I’m going to burst if I don’t let this out. Anger overwhelms me, overriding all reasoning, and I let go of her throat, knowing that I’ll squeeze too hard and cut off her air supply if I don’t. I want to hurt her, not kill her.
Balling my hand into a fist, I rear back and punch the mattress beside her head. I don’t know what’s happening to me. The rage burns, it owns me. Harper covers her face, protecting it like I’m going to hit her, and that only infuriates me more.
Getting off of her, I turn and punch the closest wall. Pain shoots through my hand and up my arm as it makes contact with the old plaster wall. I welcome the pain. I hold on to that physical pain because it hurts less than the kind of pain she causes me. Taking a deep breath, I compose myself enough to speak.
“You need to shut up, or this is going to end badly for both of us. Your voice makes me lose my fucking mind, and I want to hurt you, not kill you, so please shut up.”
Her body trembles on the bed, and I take another calming breath. One. Two. Three. I count back to myself because counting and breathing are the only two things saving us right now.
“I heard you’ve been dancing at the local strip club, so why don’t you give me a little show to calm me down?”
Harper eases into a sitting position, and I look over at her. She looks as if she’s afraid, but not afraid enough. There is fire in her, and I’m going to do everything in my power to extinguish it.
“If you’re implying that I’m a stripper, then you’re going to need to go back to whoever told you that lie and tell them they’re an idiot. I would never strip for money. I have morals, no offense to the girls that do it, but…”
Rubbing at my temples with two fingers, I snap, “Get up, take off your fucking clothes and start dancing. Otherwise, I’ll do it for you.”
Gritting her teeth, I can see the defiance pooling in her eyes. She lifts her chin, holding it high as she pushes up off the bed. Come on, baby, walk over here and tell me to fuck off, I dare you. Though she’s nearly a foot shorter than me, she stands tall like a flower in a field of weeds.
“I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told your friend at the party… fuck off and leave me alone!” She raises her voice, and all I can do is smile.
“Wrong answer,” I growl as I place my knee on the bed. Like a frightened child, she scurries away from me and toward the wall. Dumb girl. She can’t escape me… not now that she’s here. I grab her leg, so she can’t get far. This time, when I look into her face, I see fear, real fear. A look she has never given me before. For the first time tonight, my anger lessens, not by a lot thought and not enough to let go of her.
“Can you please just leave,” she begs, her voice trembling.
I try a different tactic. I shouldn’t give a fuck about her living situating, but stupidly I do.
“Why do you live here? Aren’t you on a scholarship?” I want to know everything about her, every little detail. Where she went? How she ended up back here? Who she let fuck her?
“Yes,” she bites at her bottom lip nervously, and then it clicks.
“Aren’t you supposed to stay in the dorms? Doesn’t the scholarship cover on-campus housing?” I don’t know shit about this kind of stuff, but I can easily find out.
“I can’t afford the dorms,” is all she says, her eyes dropping to the floor.
“Don’t make enough money at the strip club?” I lift a questioning brow.
“I’m not a stripper! Jesus.” She growls, her claws finally coming out again. I like her fragile, and purring with fear, but I also like her fierce, willing to fight me tooth and nail. It’s a contradiction, and I can’t explain it. I know it’s wrong, but I love this push and pull. I feed off of it like a parasite.
“Okay, so what will fifty dollars get me?”
Her tiny little jaw tightens, and in a flash, her hand is making contact with my face. I feel the sting, my head turning to the side with the force of the hit.
Fuck...me… The copper tang of blood fills my mouth. If she were anyone else, I’d hit her back, but she isn’t just anyone. She’s Harper. My Harper. And I’ve got something better up my sleeve.
6
Harper
It feels like I’m having a heart attack, and my lungs are collapsing at the same time. Why didn’t I think before I slapped him? His pupils are blown, his eyes almost black, feral.
“Strip, now. If you don’t, it won’t be pretty…and I don’t want to be responsible for breaking you, not yet at least.” The darkness inside of him pours out, terrifying me into a shocked stupor. Every single bone in my body says to run, escape, my fight or flight instincts kick in full force, but if I give way to running, he’ll chase, and when he catches me…
“You won’t hurt me,” I say, my voice small even though I try to sound strong and determined.
“Are you sure about that?”
I nod, even though I’m not sure at all.
“Maybe not, but I can make your life hell in other ways. I know people at the school. I can get your grades dropped; make you lose your precious scholarship.”