My family is my family but not a one of them knows me the way Lou knows me. She’s the only person on earth who’s heard my darkest confession.
“I know exactly what it’ll mean, and I’ll have to answer some tough questions, but I’m prepared to do that.”
“Okay. I’ll come.” She closes the door and slides closer, cradling my face with her hands. “All you ever have to do is ask. I’ll do anything for you.”
I know.
Introducing Lou to my family is going to change everything. I might regret this decision later, but right now, I can’t imagine not having her by my side. I need her.
We find my parents, Ian, Adam, and the boys in the family waiting room. My brother-in-law is standing by a pair of doors, I presume the entrance to the area where Sara is being examined and treated. He looks helpless and lost. It’s a feeling I remember well.
My mum looks up as Lou and I approach. She passes my younger nephew to my father and gets up, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing tightly. “I thought we’d never get you to answer your mobile, you wee jobby.”
Wee jobby, also known as little shite. My mum’s favorite nickname for me.
“I’m sorry. I had to turn off my mobile because we were at the theatre. Has there been any news since we spoke?”
My mum releases me. “Someone came out a few minutes ago and told us that Sara is in stable condition. She’s having X-rays done now and when those are finished, she’ll go for a CT. That’s all we know at this point.”
“Stable. That’s reassuring.” Or at least I think it is. No one ever used the word stable to describe Mina’s condition. “Do you have any idea what happened?”
“Adam said that she’d gone out to dinner with some friends and was on her way home. We haven’t heard anything about what caused the accident, but I’d suspect that the heavy rain we got earlier tonight is to blame.”
That’s right. There were puddles of water on the sidewalk when Lou and I came out of the theatre.
Mum looks at Lou and then back at me and I know that the time has arrived. I have to introduce her to my family.
“This is Lou.” Fuck. I hope Mum doesn’t ask for a last name; she’s never given me one. Hell, she’s never told me anything but her Inamorata name. Her alias. That’s a conversation that we need to revisit again. “This is my mother, Clarissa Hutcheson.”
Lou’s eyes widen when my mother pulls her into an embrace. “It’s lovely to meet you, Lou.”
“It’s very nice to meet you too, Mrs. Hutcheson, although I wish it were under different circumstances.”
“I wish it were different circumstances as well.”
“I pray that all is well with your daughter and that she makes a speedy recovery.”
“Thank you, dear.”
My mum grasps Lou’s hands. “You’re even more beautiful than the picture I saw of you on Max’s mobile.”
Oh fuck. I think I can see the color leaving Lou’s face right before my eyes.
“That’s a very sweet thing to say. Thank you.”
Mum bends down and picks up Mason, placing him on her hip. “I wish they’d hurry up. Sara needs to see her family. She needs to know that we’re here for her.”
“Son, are you going to introduce your friend to the rest of the family or is your mother the only one who gets that honor?” my dad asks.
The biggest hurdle is behind me. Meeting the rest of my family will be a piece of cake.
“This is my dad, Angus Hutcheson.”
“Everyone calls me Gus,” my dad adds.
I gesture toward my brother. “This is Ian.”
Ian studies Lou and his eyes widen. “We had a class together at uni. Illuminated Manuscripts. Dr. Fraser.”
Lou looks at Ian for a moment. “That was a while ago.”
“Aye.”
I can’t tell if Lou remembers Ian or not.
“This is my sister’s husband, Adam. And these wee laddies are my nephews, Leo and Mason.”
“It’s lovely to meet all of you.”
“You’re American?” my mum asks.
“Yes. I’m from New Orleans.”
Lou recounts the story of how she came to live in Scotland, but it’s a much shorter version than the tale she told me two months ago. This one lacks the details about her pain, her sorrow. She almost manages to make it sound like a happy event in her life.
An hour passes. And then another. With each tick of the second hand, my family and I become a wee bit more restless, and then a staff member finally comes through the doors we’ve been watching like hawks. “Sara Hillhouse’s family?”
Adam leaves his seat the moment he hears Sara’s name. “Aye, I’m her husband and these are her parents and brothers.”
“Your wife is doing well. X-Ray and CT scans are negative with the exception of two fractured ribs. Because she lost consciousness after the accident, we’ll observe her overnight and she should be able to go home tomorrow afternoon if no additional problems arise.”
My mum releases the breath that she’s been holding. “Oh, thank you so much. When can we see her?”
The man raises his arm and looks at his watch. “Mrs. Hillhouse will be transferred to a room within the hour, but you can visit her now. I’m sure you’re anxious to see her.”
“That would be wonderful. Thank you so much,” Adam says.
“I think I should see Sara before the boys do.” Adam’s voice is low when he looks at Leo and Mason. “I need to know how to prepare them for what they’ll see so they aren’t frightened.”
“I completely agree,” my mum says.
“You all go in to see Sara first. Lou and I will stay with the boys,” I say.
“She’s your sister. You should go too. I can sit with the boys.”
I know that I can trust Lou with the boys, but Sara and Adam are particular about who they will allow to watch them. “Lou takes care of Ava Rose. You can trust her with your children.”
A small bit of the tension on Adam’s face relaxes. “That would be fab. Thank you.”
Lou takes Mason from my dad and carries him over to where Leo is playing. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
We enter the small exam room where Sara is lying on a bed with her eyes closed. A nurse is at her bedside looking at the monitor. “Looks like someone has visitors.”
Sara opens her eyes and I see the lingering sedation: her eyes are slow to focus. The nurse didn’t say so but I’m sure that she’s been given some good medication for the pain she must be having.
She looks at Adam first. That’s the way it’s always been between them. He’s always been her number one. And isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be between a husband and wife? I think so but that’s never the way it was between Mina and me. She always put her family ahead of me.
To have my very own number one. To be someone’s number one. That’s what I want.
Adam sits on the bed and takes Sara’s hand in his, kissing the top, while we observe as spectators. “You scared the shite out of me, mo leannan.”
“You scared the shite out of all of us,” my dad says.
“I scared myself.”
Sara recounts everything she can remember about the accident. From what she says, it sounds as though the rain was the major culprit. And although she doesn’t mention it, I’m sure that her heavy foot played a part as well. Sara has never been known for driving slowly, but I bet that changes from here on out.
“I want to see my boys.” Her eyes widen. “Who’s watching them?”
“They’re in the waiting room with Max’s friend.”
“What friend?”
“Her name is Lou.”
Sara smiles. “A woman?”
“Aye, Lou is a woman.”
“A very pretty American woman,” my mum says.
“How long have you known this very pretty American woman?”
“A couple of months.”
“You’ve not mentioned a word about her?”
>
I’ve said all that I want to say about Lou for now. “I think you mentioned something about seeing the boys?”
“Yes. Someone bring my babies to me.”
“Stay, Adam. Max and I will go out and get them,” Mum says.
Mason is sitting on Lou’s lap and Leo is tucked beneath her arm. She looks like a mother hen with her wing wrapped around her baby chick. She’s reading a children’s book to them and has the full attention of both boys. I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen either of them be so still and quiet. The two of them can be quite the pair of wee shite stirrers.
My mum stops as we enter the waiting room and places her hand on my lower arm. “Lou is a beauty. And she seems like a sweet lass.”
“She is.”
“The boys are certainly taken by her.”
“No more than Ava Rose.”
“Introducing a woman to your daughter is a big step.”
“It wasn’t like that, Mum.”
“Then what was it like?”
“The on-duty nanny became ill during her shift and I couldn’t get a replacement. Lou stepped in and took care of Ava Rose for me. She saved my arse.”
“You are fully capable of raising your child. I don’t know when you’re going to see that so many nannies are unnecessary.”
I don’t want to have the nanny conversation again. “Sara is anxious to see Leo and Mason. She’ll be sending Adam out to get them if you don’t take them to her.”
Mum releases my arm. “I know. You’re right.”
I dodged that bullet. For now. The nanny conversation is one that Mum brings up on a regular basis, so I know that the argument is only postponed until another time.
“I want you and Lou to stay at the house tonight. The family should be together after going through this close call with your sister.”
Lou at my parents’ house? Spending time with my family? I’m not sure that’s a good idea.
“We already have a room for the weekend.” Fuck. I think I just admitted to my mum that Lou and I are sleeping together.
“Yes, you do, and it’s called your old bedroom at your parents’ house.”
Maybe Mum does want the family together, but that isn’t solely what this is about. I smell ulterior motive. “You want to spend time with Lou.”
“Is that so wrong?”
My mum has no idea that our relationship is a paid arrangement. An arrangement that will end in a few weeks. It seems cruel to let her pointlessly become acquainted with Lou. “I don’t want you to make more of our relationship than it is. We’re just having a wee bit of fun together. It’s not serious.”
My mum smiles. “Your father and I were just having a wee bit of fun together too. And here we are, thirty-six years and three children later, still having fun.”
True. But neither of my parents ever married into the Lochridge family.
29
Caitriona Louden
Calvin drives through a village and stops the car in front of a large honey-colored stone house settled in the middle of a golf club. Although the property is beautiful, it’s not the sprawling renovated castle on top of a hill that I was expecting. “This is where you grew up?”
“Aye.”
“It’s very modern-looking compared to your house.”
Hutch laughs. “It was built in 1877, but there have been a few renovations since, the latest only a few years ago.”
“I wouldn’t have guessed it to be that old.”
“It didn’t look this way when I grew up here. Mum and Dad are constantly doing something to improve it.”
Hutch’s parents are obviously well off. This is at least a million-pound home, but I assumed that they were ultra-rich like Hutch. After seeing their home, I don’t think that’s the case.
Hutch takes our bags from the car and I follow him up the walkway to the front door. “How is this going to go?”
He chuckles. “If I’m being honest, it’s going to go any way Clarissa Hutcheson wants it to go.”
He doesn’t understand my question. “Are we sleeping in the same room or will I be in the guest room?”
“They don’t have a guest room. They have a guesthouse. But you’ll sleep in my bedroom with me.”
“Will that be all right with your parents?”
“Aye.”
“How do you know it’s okay?”
“Lou, I’m thirty-four years old. That’s how I know.”
“I don’t think parents care how old you are if you aren’t married.” Although mine wouldn’t give two shits what I did.
“My mum doesn’t expect us to sleep in separate bedrooms when we were obviously going to share a bed at the hotel.”
I didn’t think about that. “I still feel funny about it.”
Hutch stops and places a quick kiss against my lips. “I don’t, so you shouldn’t either.”
He opens the front door and we enter the foyer.
“Mum,” he calls out.
“In the living room.”
“We’re going to put our things in my bedroom, and then we’ll come down.”
I follow Hutch up the stairs, and he leads me into a large bedroom. Gray walls. Dark linens. Furniture with clean lines. It’s clearly been remodeled since he left home. No teenage boy or young man would have a bedroom that looked like this. “Part of the improvements?”
“Aye. It definitely didn’t look like this when I lived here.”
“I didn’t think so.”
We go downstairs to the living room and join Hutch’s parents, brother, and nephews. His mother is rocking her younger grandson while the older one sits in his grandfather’s lap, watching a children’s show on the television. It’s a picture-perfect image.
I see the love and affection and connection between these people and know that this is what family looks like. And while it makes me happy to see them this way, it also makes me sad because I’ve never had this in my life. And I’m terrified that I never will.
“I’d like for you and Lou to stay the rest of the weekend if possible.”
Hutch looks at me. “I think we can manage that if Lou doesn’t have to go back to Edinburgh for anything.”
Is he asking my permission? Or hoping that I’ll speak up and say that I need to return? I don’t know; I can’t read him. I only know that I want to stay.
“I don’t have anything pressing to do.”
“Wonderful. Will you send for Ava Rose in the morning? I want the whole family together this weekend.”
“I’ll have Mrs. McVey bring her in the morning.”
“Did you hear that, Leo and Mason? You’ll get to see your baby cousin tomorrow.”
I’m only beginning to enjoy my time with Hutch’s family when we all go our separate ways for bedtime. But we have the rest of the weekend to spend time together. And I’m looking forward to it.
I come out of the bathroom wearing one of Hutch’s T-shirts, leaving off the lingerie I packed for our weekend getaway. It feels all kinds of wrong to wear crotchless panties in his parents’ house.
Hutch is lying shirtless in bed with his hands folded behind his head, and I sigh with pure pleasure as I behold the sight of him. God, he’s just so beautiful.
I crawl into bed beside him and pull the covers over my chest. I turn over, facing him, and smile.
He reaches out and caresses my arm, igniting chills over my body. “What are you thinking?”
Our arrangement has changed and none of the guidelines in our contract outline how we should treat this unanticipated situation. “You’ve been very clear about what you want, need, and expect from me, but meeting your family has thrown me for a loop. I’m not sure what my role is while we’re here.”
“Aye, our previous agreement will need a wee bit of a revision for the weekend.”
“Your mother already knew about me prior to tonight. She said she had seen pictures of me.” And I need to know what that means before I get my hopes up.
“She was looking at photo
graphs on my mobile and flipped too far. She saw a photo of us together.”
The only photos Hutch has of us on his mobile are the ones in bed together. Great. “I can’t wait to hear how you explained that one to her.”
“I didn’t have to explain anything.”
“Right. Because the picture was self-explanatory.”
I wonder which one she saw. Guess it doesn’t matter. I was basically naked, covered only by a sheet, in all of them. “Was she upset?”
“Not at all. She told me that I was the only person who could know when it’s time to move on with another woman and if I felt ready, then it was time.”
I’m not surprised; Hutch’s family seems very reasonable. “You must be relieved.”
“My family has never been the ones I was worried about.”
Right. Mina’s family is Hutch’s problem. But they aren’t here.
“Who am I supposed to be to you this weekend?”
His fingertips glide down my arm. “You’re the woman in my life. Let’s leave it at that and not put a label on it. Giving our relationship a name will only complicate things with my family.”
“Fair enough.”
Hutch reaches for the lamp and turns off the light before reaching out and pulling me against him. “I know you aren’t a cuddler and you like your space in bed, but I want to fall asleep holding you.”
And that’s exactly what he does.
30
Maxwell Hutcheson
Lou is still asleep when I wake. No surprise there. I’ve come to understand that her body requires more sleep than mine. Actually, I’ve come to understand her body in a lot of ways.
I was born into a family of early risers, but I’m the first one up this morning. Probably because bedtime came later than usual for everyone. That means I get to have my coffee in peace. At least until Leo and Mason get up. The peace will be over for all of us when that happens.
I’m reading the paper and drinking my coffee when Mum comes into the kitchen. “Good morning.”
“Morning, Mum.”
She pours a cup of coffee from the pot I brewed. She and Dad still like it the old-fashioned way. The single-cup brewer never appealed to them. “I made it strong.”
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