“Just the way we like it.”
Mum takes the seat next to me and picks up the sections of newspaper that I’ve already read. “Did you and Lou sleep all right?”
“I had a hard time falling asleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about Sara and what could have happened to her.”
“Her accident opened old wounds for you?”
“Aye.”
“I think that’s to be expected. I don’t see how you couldn’t be reminded of Mina’s accident.”
“Lou helped me hold it together last night.” I recall how reassuring she was before we arrived at the hospital. She was full of optimism. “I can’t say exactly what it is, but she has a special way about her.”
“Lou’s personality is soothing. I see the calming effect she has over you. It’s nice.”
I don’t usually have one-on-one moments like this with my mum. And I don’t know when I might get another. “From the outside, I may look like I have everything together, but I don’t. I’m failing at life.”
“Son, you are very successful. You aren’t even remotely failing at life.”
“I am, Mum. At least where Ava Rose is concerned.”
My mum smiles. “You’re a new father who’s learning how to be a single parent to a newborn after the loss of his wife. No one expects you to know how to do it perfectly. There’s going to be some trial and error. You’re going to make mistakes and that’s all right.”
I feel like all I ever do with Ava Rose is make mistakes.
“Lou has an unhealthy relationship with her father. He’s had a very negative impact upon her life, and her pain has been the driving force responsible for making me see how important I am in Ava Rose’s life. I never want to hurt that sweet girl.”
“I know you could never hurt Ava Rose.”
My mum doesn’t understand. I would never intentionally make any decision that would hurt my daughter. It’s my unconscious decisions that could bring her pain.
My daughter. I’ve never thought of Ava Rose that way before. But I do more and more each day. Because of Lou.
“It’s clear to see that Lou has a large influence in your life. A positive one. She’s good for you.”
“I’ve never known anyone like her.” She’s been knocked down so many times that she should be shattered into a million pieces, and yet she’s the one who’s putting me back together. “She’s so strong, Mum. She doesn’t think so, but she is.”
“Are you falling in love with her?”
Falling in love? “There isn’t a place for that in my life.”
“You deserve to love again, and it would be a tragedy to deprive yourself of happiness because Mina’s family makes you feel like it’s wrong. They’ve controlled your life for too long.”
“Good morning.”
I turn at the sound of Lou’s voice, completely surprised to see her awake. “Good morning.”
My mum gets up and moves toward the coffee maker. “Would you care for some coffee?”
“None for me. I’m not a coffee drinker.”
“Tea?” Mum says.
“Lou prefers juice.”
Mum goes to the refrigerator. “We have apple juice.”
“Apple works for me.”
“You’re up early this morning.”
Lou smiles. “Ava Rose is coming. I didn’t want to be in bed when she gets here. I’m ready to see her.”
Ava Rose and Lou are becoming attached to each other. I see it happening right before my eyes. And I don’t know what that means for either of them when we go our separate ways in a few weeks.
A few weeks. The end of us. The time is arriving much sooner than I ever expected it to.
“I’m ready to see my sweet granddaughter. It’s been too long.”
Work. The hour-long drive. My own selfish desires. I allow too many things to get in the way of seeing my family. “I’m going to work harder on bringing her to see you more often. I promise.”
“I know you’re busy with work, but family comes first. Always. You’ve allowed yourself to forget that in the past. Don’t let it keep happening.”
“I won’t, Mum.”
Sara is discharged from the hospital and the entire family is present at my parents’ house by early afternoon. Sara didn’t need a lot of convincing that the next few days would be easier for her if Mum and Dad could help Adam with caring for her and the boys during her recovery.
Mum and Dad have always spoiled her. They still do.
Lou has only spent a few hours with my family, but she has already found a comfortable place among them. I watch her sitting on the floor with Ava Rose and the boys, and the way she interacts with them comes so naturally. All three have taken a special liking to her.
I’m not the only one who has noticed Lou’s ease with the children. My mum watches her, smiling as she looks on. “The boys never connect like that with someone new.”
“She’s good with kids.”
“They sense her nurturing quality and it naturally puts them at ease. People either have it or they don’t, and Lou definitely has it.”
“It must come naturally because Lou didn’t learn that from her parents. They’ve treated her very poorly.”
My mum frowns. “Does the poor lass have anyone?”
“Only one person—her best friend.”
“And she has you.”
She does but only for a few more weeks. I’m not looking forward to saying goodbye. I already know what my life without her in it looks like and I don’t care for it.
Maybe we could talk about extending our arrangement? I wonder if that would be something she’d consider?
The doorbell rings, and my mum sits taller on the sofa beside me, looking at my dad. “Are you expecting someone?”
“Not that I can recall.”
My mum gets up and disappears into the foyer, returning a moment later with a guest. Not one that I want to see, especially at my parents’ house while Lou is here. And I am pissed off.
Fuck my life.
“What are you doing here?” My words are rude, and I don’t give a fuck.
This is my parents’ home. The place where I should be able to escape my life in Edinburgh and retreat to my family home. This is where I should feel at ease with zero chance of my life with the Lochridge family colliding with my world that includes Lou. And here comes my sister-in-law Blair, sending all of that into a tailspin.
“I came as soon as I heard about your sister’s accident. Is she all right?”
This is ridiculous. Blair hardly knows Sara. Why wouldn’t she call instead of driving up from Edinburgh?
“She has some broken ribs but otherwise she’s all right.”
“Thank God for that.”
Nothing about this visit feels right.
“I see that the whole family has come together to rally around her.” Blair’s eyes widen when she notices Lou sitting on the floor with the children. “And the help apparently.”
Damn.
Confusion is etched in the growing lines over my mum’s face. Thanks a lot, Blair.
I have to do something before this situation spins further out of control. I need to separate Blair and my family before she says something that I won’t be able to explain.
“Come have a cup of tea with me, and I’ll catch you up on everything.”
We go into the kitchen and my back is turned to Blair as I pour fresh water into the kettle. “Sara was very lucky. It could have been so much worse.”
“Your housekeeper is here?”
“Aye. Lou has come to help with the children.” That sounds legit, right? Until you recall that I have four nannies on staff.
“Your entire family is here. Why do you need her help with the children?”
“I wasn’t certain about Sara’s condition when I got the call about her accident. Lou volunteered to come stay with the children at the house so we could be at the hospital with Sara.”
Blair crosses her arms. “Lou has a way of i
nserting herself into situations in which she isn’t invited.”
No, Blair. It’s you who has a way of inserting yourself into situations where you aren’t invited.
“I don’t know what you mean by that. I’ve not had any problems with her.”
“I found her taking a bath in your tub—in your bathroom—while you were away.”
I wondered when Blair was going to bring that up.
I have to make that situation look as transparent as possible. “She told me about that. And she apologized for overstepping her boundaries. It won’t happen again.”
“Are you having an affair with your housekeeper?”
“No.” That’s technically not a lie because Lou is definitely not my housekeeper.
Blair shakes her head. “I knew you wouldn’t stoop to the level of sleeping with the hired help, but I had to ask.”
I hate the way she refers to Lou as the hired help. But I can’t correct her.
“You should be careful with that one. She’s looking to sink her claws into you.”
“I’m sure you’re mistaken.”
Blair laughs. “You really don’t see it, do you?”
“See what?”
“You’re perfect, Max. And everything that every woman dreams of having for herself.”
I’m suddenly more uncomfortable than I’ve ever been in my life. Blair’s statement isn’t something that a married woman is supposed to say to another man, especially her dead sister’s widower.
She moves into my personal space and places her hands on my upper arms. “You’re going to be ready to move on at some point, and I want you to know that you have my full support when that time comes.”
Fuck, that’s unexpected. And out of the clear blue.
Does she mean that? Is she being sincere?
I don’t know what Blair’s MO is or what her words mean, but there’s no way I’d confide in her about any part of my personal life. “There’s only room for one girl in my life right now and that’s Ava Rose.”
Her smile is wide. “That’s exactly what I expected you to say.”
Nothing about my sister-in-law’s numerous unannounced appearances into my life feels right. She never showed up without notice when Mina was alive. I’m not sure what to make of her surprise visits except that I don’t like them. Each one increases the risk of her figuring out what Lou and I are doing. And that’s a clusterfuck that I don’t wish to tame.
31
Caitriona Louden
Calvin is driving us back to Edinburgh, and I’m thinking about how much I’ve enjoyed the last three days with Hutch’s family. The label that we weren’t supposed to place on our relationship somehow affixed itself to us like a magnet to steel. I became his girlfriend.
Girlfriend. That’s what his brother called me, and Hutch didn’t correct him. It felt wonderful, like we haven’t been pretending to play roles for the last ten weeks.
Hutch reaches for my hand across Ava Rose’s car seat and rubs his thumb over the top. “You’re quiet.”
I can’t tell him what’s swirling around in my head. “I’m just thinking about how great your family is and how glad I am that I got to meet them.”
“They think you’re pretty great too. Especially my mum. She’s a wee bit taken with you.”
“Your mom is great. You don’t know how lucky you are to have her. I wish with all of my heart that I’d had someone like her in my life when I was growing up.” Or even now.
Who would I be today if I’d had someone like Clarissa Hutcheson raising me instead of a mother who chose alcohol and drugs over her child?
We stayed the entire day at the Hutchesons, so it’s late when we arrive at the house. I get Ava Rose down for the night and meet Hutch in the bedroom. He wraps his arms around me from behind. “I finally get to have you to myself.”
His hand slides into the front of my shorts and goes straight for the kill, his fingers diving into my slit and finding my clit.
“You’re wasting no time.”
“I can’t help myself when it’s been a week since I’ve had you,” he groans in my ear, teasing me with his fingers.
A week, my ass.
“It’s only been three days,” I correct him.
“No way.”
I lean into him and press the back of my head against his chest. “True story.”
Three days or three minutes. Doesn’t matter. I’ll always want him again and again.
But I won’t always be able to have him.
He slips a single finger inside me and then a second. “It feels like forever since I’ve been inside you.”
His rock-hard erection grinds against my bottom while he slides his fingers in and out of me. The way his hand is wrapped around my body and in that particular position feels sensational. His fingers are rubbing my sweet spot in the most delectable way, each stroke bringing me closer to orgasm.
“Come for me, Lou, and say my name when you do.”
I grind harder against his hand, chasing that powerful orgasm that is almost within my reach. Just a little more.
Hutch. Hutch. Hutch. I say his name in my head, ready to scream it when I fall over the edge into that pure oblivion that only he has ever given me. And then it happens. “Hutch… I’m coming.”
“Tell me what I want to hear.”
Yes. I know exactly what the possessive bastard wants to hear.
“I’m yours.” Quick breath.
“All yours.” Quick breath.
“Only yours.” Quick breath.
The spasms that this man gives me deep within my core… I’ve come to love them so.
I recognize the sound of tearing foil wrapper, and then he pushes down on the waistband of my panties and shorts, dragging them down my legs. “Bend over the bed.”
He’s going to take me hard and fast from behind. And I say bring it.
Stretching my upper body across the bed, I grip the linens. His hand cups the back of my thigh and he lifts, placing one of my knees on the mattress. Spreading me apart. Opening me to take him in.
I feel the tip of his erection against my wet core and then he pushes inside me with a force that demonstrates his frustration of not having me for the last three days. The sudden invasion wrenches a cry from my throat, and he stills. “Too rough?”
The sharp stab fades and my body adjusts to the fullness of him inside of me. “No, don’t stop.”
I rock against him, wanting more, and the rhythm of our rocking bodies finds the perfect synchronization. He grips my hips, pounding into me over and over.
“Lou.” My name is only a soft whisper on his lips but it’s my cue, the indicator that he is slipping over the edge.
He stills and places a soft kiss against the bare skin of my shoulder. “You are precious to me.”
The words are barely there but I hear them. And I covet them.
I wake at two in the morning with a story running through my head. A love story. A modern-day fairy tale. It’s our story, mine with Hutch, and the ending is beautiful.
I get out of bed and grab my laptop. I return to my place beside Hutch and put down the ideas in my head. I can’t stand the thought of forgetting a single detail or losing one minute that I could be next to him.
After Hutch has gone to work for the day, I go to the covered raised deck at the back of the house, taking my laptop and fresh ideas with me. I tap upon my keyboard, forming the outline of my new fairy tale based upon us and everything I feel in this moment.
I secretly love this man.
I secretly long for him to ask me to stay.
I secretly dream of a happily ever after with him.
The door leading from the house to the deck opens and I’m slightly irritated by the interruption. Expecting to see one of the staff members—and praying to not see Blair—I’m surprised when it’s someone quite unexpected.
Clarissa Hutcheson.
My pulse, which is already racing from the excitement of the story in my head, speeds
faster. Why has she come? “Mrs. Hutcheson?”
“No worries, Lou. All is well. I’m only here to visit.”
After we just spent the entire weekend together? This seems odd.
“Hutch is at work.” Which I’m sure she already knows. “Should I call him?”
“No, lass. I didn’t come to see him.”
Clarissa Hutcheson is here to see me? That’s exciting and scary.
“Would you like to sit out here, or would you prefer to go inside?”
“I’ll join you out here. I could stand a wee bit of sunshine and fresh air.” She sits on the lounger next to me, her legs extended and head resting against the back of the chair. “I sometimes forget how beautiful this property is.”
“It is gorgeous.”
“Have you enjoyed living here with my son?”
Shit.
Double shit.
I don’t know how to answer that question.
Clarissa laughs. “Don’t look so frightened, Lou. I’m not the firing squad.”
Maybe not but I still don’t know what to say.
“It’s all right. I’ve known for a while that you’ve been living here with Max.”
She knows the truth. I see no reason to insult her by lying. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Max and I aren’t as close as we once were, but I still know my son well. And he loves you. I see it in the way he looks at you.”
I wasn’t expecting to hear that.
Is she right? Does Hutch love me? Or is she seeing an extension of the lust he feels for me and is mistaking it for love?
“It’s the same with Ava Rose. That wee lass is attached to you. Now you may think me a shameless, meddling mum, but I’m going to ask anyway. Do you love my son and granddaughter?”
I don’t have to search my head or my heart for the answer. “I love both of them very much.”
And I don’t know how in the world I’ll ever be able to walk away from either of them. If the first step doesn’t shatter my heart into a million pieces, then the next most assuredly will.
Clarissa Hutcheson slings her legs around and sits sideways on the lounger, facing me. “Max once loved Mina, but something happened between them. He’s never told me what it was, but I watched him fall out of love with her. For him, their marriage was over long before she died. Her family didn’t see it happening, but I watched all of it unfold before my eyes. And I believe that my son is ready to move on. In fact, I know he is. And I think he could be ready to do that with you.”
Beautiful Illusions Duet Bundle: Eighty-One Nights and Beautiful Ever After Page 21