“He believes that moving on will ruin him in everyone’s eyes.”
“It’s true. Moving on will ruin him in the eyes of some, mostly Mina’s family, and they’ll see it as a betrayal, but it won’t be the end of the world.”
“They are deeply rooted within his life.”
“Like a weed you can’t get rid of.”
It’s clear that Clarissa sees things as I do.
“He’s concerned about his position at the firm.”
“And with good reason. Thomas Lochridge will probably fire him and do everything within his power to make sure no one in Edinburgh hires him. I personally believe that would be a blessing. It’s time for Max to see that there is life outside of his career and it’s passing him by.” Clarissa sighs. “What good is all of his money if he doesn’t have someone to love? And someone to love him back?”
I already thought that Clarissa Hutcheson was delightful, but now I think she’s phenomenal and I adore her.
“We share the same opinion.”
“Max is going to be stubborn. He isn’t going to want to put his career on the line, and that’s where you must do some of the heavy lifting in your relationship. You have to show him that a life outside of that investment firm is a life worth living. A life where happiness means everything and wealth and power and success are minor details.”
“He’s a money-minded man. That could be hard to do.”
She reaches out and takes my hand, squeezing it. “Show him love and everything else will fall into place. I promise.”
What she’s saying sounds good in theory. Everything could have the potential to fall into place… if our relationship was real. But it isn’t.
32
Maxwell Hutcheson
Only seven days until my time with Lou is over. A week is too soon to say goodbye. I want more time with her.
I’ve had hell to pay with Thomas for neglecting some of the firm’s most important clients, but I can’t help myself. I’m desperate to spend every minute with Lou. I simply can’t get enough of her. And that’s why I’ve returned to the house to see her after only being at work for an hour.
Thomas is going to give me shite when I get back to the office.
Fuck, I may not even go back. I might take the whole day off and spend it with Lou.
I open the bedroom door, hoping to find her still in bed. No such luck but I hear the shower running. That could be just as much fun.
I slip out of my jacket and I’m loosening the knot of my tie when I hear Lou’s mobile ring. I admit that I’m prying by walking over to see who is calling, but I can’t help myself. She knows every aspect about my life, and there are still so many missing pieces to the puzzle of Lou.
Cameron Stewart. It’s that name again and this time it’s not a notification about a missed call. The personalized ringtone is ‘Love Me Harder” and the photo on the screen is of a shorter-haired Lou and a man who looks like he’s around her age. The fucker’s arms are wrapped around her from behind, and his lips are pressed to the side of her neck right over that spot that drives her crazy.
They look happy. They look like a young couple in love. And I fucking hate it.
The mobile has been ringing for several seconds, so it’ll go to voicemail soon. Do I let that happen? Or do I answer Lou’s phone and finally find out who he is to her and why he’s calling again?
My drive to find out gets the better of me, and I slide the bar across the screen, answering Lou’s mobile. And I immediately go blank because I don’t know what to say.
“Cait?” a man’s voice says.
Cait? That’s Lou’s real name?
“Are you there, Cait? Can you hear me?”
I remain silent, waiting to hear what other kind of information I might be able to collect before Cameron Stewart realizes that it isn’t Cait who has answered her mobile.
“Please listen to me, Cait. I want to tell you how sorry I am. That woman was a mistake and I see that now. Can you ever forgive me?”
I see that I’m not the only one who’s been cheated on.
“Damn, I’ve missed you, baby. And I was hoping that we could get together and talk about how we can make this work. I’m not ready to give up on us.”
No, Cameron Stewart. You and Cait won’t be getting together to discuss anything.
“Will you at least say something?”
“Sorry, but Cait can’t take your call right now.”
Silence.
“Are you still there? Did you hear me?”
“Who is this?”
“Cait’s boyfriend.” Let’s see what he has to say to that.
“Is it safe for me to assume that you won’t be giving her a message to call me?”
“What do you think?”
“Are you that insecure in your relationship with her?”
I actually am but I’ll never admit that to this dick.
“She’s with me now. Don’t call her again.”
I press the end button and return Lou’s mobile to its charger on the nightstand. I sit on her side of the bed waiting to see if he’ll call back. One minute passes and then another. Nothing. Because he knows that he’ll get me again and I’m not who he wants to speak to.
The water stops and Lou comes into the bedroom a few moments later. She’s naked with a towel wrapped around her freshly shampooed hair, bringing my cock to attention.
She jolts and a soft squeal escapes when she sees me. “Shit, Hutch. Have you been here all this time?”
“No, I went to work after I kissed you goodbye this morning. I couldn’t concentrate so I came back.”
She comes to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. “To see me?”
“Aye.”
Her eyes divert to my jacket lying on the bed. “Were you about to take off your clothes and come into the shower with me?”
“I was.” My eyes are locked on hers. “Until Cameron Stewart called you.”
Her brows tense and a deep V forms between them. “What?”
“He called while you were in the shower. I needed to know who he is and what he wants with you, so I answered your mobile.”
“Why do you need to know these things?”
“Because you’re mine. Because the thought of you being with another man makes me crazy. Because I needed to know if he’s from your past or present. Because I wanted to tell him to fuck off. Take your pick.”
Fuck, I sound obsessed with her.
Because I am.
“I am yours. I’m not with Cameron and I haven’t been for a while. He’s my past and I’ve already told him to fuck off. More than once.”
“Is he the man that you thought you loved?”
“Stupidly, yes.”
“What happened?”
“Before Inamorata, I waited tables at a bar. Cameron was the bartender there and he did what all asshole bartenders do at some point: he went home with a customer. That would have been fine except he was dating me at the time.”
He cheated on Lou. He hurt her. And while it pisses me off to know that he did that to her, it also makes me feel relief.
“How long ago?”
“It happened right before Christmas.”
Has it been long enough for her to get over this bastard? It isn’t possible to guess without knowing the other important variable of their relationship. “How long were you with him?”
“Six months.” Twice as long as she’s been with me. Not what I wanted to hear.
“Do you still love him?”
“I loved a version of Cameron, but that version turned out to be a fraud. I loved a lie,” she says.
“That isn’t a no.”
“I don’t love Cameron. Because I can’t love something based upon a lie.”
I can’t love something based upon a lie. Fuck, those words are poignant. Sobering. Pragmatic.
A lie. That’s what I paid her to be.
She looks away when our eyes meet and that’s when I see the truth: we are a l
ie. And she can never love something based upon a lie.
But I don’t want to be a lie anymore.
33
Caitriona Louden
Hutch grips my hips and pulls me forward, pressing his forehead against my upper stomach. His warm breath against my still-damp skin sends chills over my entire body. “I’m sorry, Lou.”
Sorry for what Cameron did to me? I don’t think so. “What do you have to be sorry for?”
“I paid you to be my lie.”
I watch my fingers twirl through the top of his hair, but it becomes a blur because of the wet lens forming over my eyes. “Please don’t say things like that.” I don’t want this to be a lie.
“I’m sorry for the secrecy. Sorry for making you pretend. Sorry for fucking you when I should have been making love to you.”
I realize that the wet lenses over my eyes have become tears rolling down my face when they drip from my jaw.
“It kills me to see you cry.”
Lifting his face, he stretches upward and kisses both of my wet cheeks. And I die a little on the inside.
His lips move from my cheek to my mouth and he presses a kiss there. When I open my mouth, his tongue slips inside and the two come together for a familiar yet new sensual waltz.
We’ve shared countless kisses but this one is different. It’s new. It’s telling. And I taste the words that he can’t or won’t say.
His touch has changed. It’s tender yet possessive, as though he’s handling his most precious, delicate treasure.
Hutch cares for me. I feel it.
His mouth feathers kisses lightly down my chin and throat. It slowly travels lower, tasting my skin, until it reaches my breast and closes around it. I lace my fingers through his hair when the wet glide of his tongue over my sensitive nipple prompts something between a moan and the sound of his name.
He looks up at me. And I see something more than lust in those pale blue eyes.
Is it love?
Please, please, please let it be.
I want so desperately for him to love me.
I shake my head and the towel wrapped around my wet hair falls. Wet strands fall forward, and he reaches up, pushing them away from my face. “Such a beauty. My beauty,” he whispers.
Taking my time, I undress him. And when he’s as bare as I am, I climb on top of him.
His flesh against my flesh—there’s nothing in the world like it. The sensation it creates sends a wave of tingles directly between my legs. And I’m no longer wet because I just took a shower.
He slides off the edge of the bed and stands, taking me with him. Our bodies turn and he gently lowers my back to the bed. My mouth, my neck, my chest, my belly, my hipbones, and everything in between—that’s the path that his mouth takes on its way down.
He kisses the inside of my right knee and then the inside of my thigh. Closing my eyes and breathing deeply, I wait for what I know he’s going to do. And then it happens—his wet tongue moves smoothly up my center.
I lift my head from the bed and watch the top of his head moving between my legs. Reaching out, I push my fingers into his hair and scrape my nails against his scalp.
A young rosebud slowly opening until it’s in full bloom.
A snowball rolling down a hill, growing in size, and coming apart when it crashes into a tree.
A tub filling with water until the excess flows over the edge on to the floor.
That’s how my orgasm happens.
When the more powerful contractions in my womb stop, I relax against the bed and breathe, savoring the final little post-orgasmic quivers. And my brain is empty. Total mush.
Hutch scales my body, kissing his way up until he’s hovering above me. His eyes bore into mine and I know it sounds crazy, but it feels like something within us links. Like we mesh to become one.
Bending my knees, I wrap my legs around Hutch. I tilt my hips upward and the tip of his erection presses against my opening. With my hands splayed on each of his cheeks, I cradle his face and watch his eyes as I use my feet to coax him inside of me. Unsheathed.
His bare erection enters me, and we are entwined. Joined. Fused.
One.
He closes his eyes and whispers a word that I don’t quite understand, but I’d swear that it’s my name. My real name.
“Say it again.”
“Cait.”
Watching Hutch’s beautiful face dancing over me, I revel in the sensation of feeling him, skin on skin, inside of me for the first time. All that I can taste is this moment, and I know that I’d give up everything I have to stay like this with him forever.
The affection I feel for him squeezes my heart like a thousand pounds sitting on my chest. Hot tears roll down the sides of my face as I finally own the feelings that I have for this man.
I love Maxwell Hutcheson with every beat of my heart, with every breath in my lungs.
“I want to come inside you.”
My head spins with the ecstasy of his words and I forget who he is, who I am, and what our arrangement has been. “Yes. I want you to.”
Mark me. Fill me with a part of yourself. Make me yours.
Tightening my legs around him, I use my feet to squeeze his body against mine. He groans and thrusts deeply, stilling when he spasms inside of me.
With his forehead pressed against mine, I look at his eyes and whisper, “I love you.”
There. I said those three words.
And I regret saying them when I see the expression on his face. I have made a mistake.
I don’t know what I see in his eyes, but it isn’t love. And why should it be? He paid for my companionship. Not my love.
Oh my God. I feel so stupid.
I need to get up. I need to get away from him.
“Get off of me.”
I push at his shoulders and he rolls away from me. I stumble, narrowly evading a fall, as I make a mad dash for the bathroom. Cupping my hands over my mouth, I look at the woman in the mirror with tears streaming down her face.
You want his love so badly that you’ve allowed yourself to see and feel something that isn’t there. It was never there. And it’ll never be there.
Your love for him. It’s the very weapon that will wound you the deepest.
I swore that I would never make the same mistakes as my mother. I said I’d never love a man who didn’t love me in return. I vowed to stop it before it went that far. And I still let it happen.
It isn’t wanton flesh but love that brings me shame.
34
Maxwell Hutcheson
Her name is Cait. But she’ll always be Lou to me.
My NOLA girl.
Lying on my back, I stare at the ceiling and attempt to sort out the thoughts in my head and emotions in my heart. I’m so fucking confused by the happiness and fear that I feel. The two are battling one another inside of me, and I’m not sure which is stronger.
Lou means something to me. There’s no denying that. But being with her openly will change everything. There’s no denying that either.
Part of me wants Lou to leave so I can go back to my life before her. That life was lonely, but it was easy. And then there’s this other piece of me that exploded when she said that she loved me. That part longs for her to stay with me forever.
I leave the bed and go to the bathroom door. Of course, it’s locked. “Lou?”
No reply.
“Please come out so we can talk.”
“You should just go back to work.”
That isn’t Lou’s normal voice. It’s nasally and congested because my sweet lass is crying. And it’s more than I can stand.
“Please, Lou.”
Another minute passes, and she opens the door. Her body is wrapped in another towel and her eyes are downcast—she’s hiding both her nude body and eyes from me.
“Please don’t do that, Lou.”
Her eyes still don’t meet mine. “Don’t do what?”
“Hide from me.”
I reach
out, tilting her chin upward so I can see her eyes, but she closes her lids and locks me out. “Please look at me.”
A moment later, she does. The whites of her eyes are red and inflamed, confirming what I already knew, and the hurt I see beneath her beautiful hazel orbs wrecks me.
I love her.
I love her and I can’t admit it.
“Come here.”
Taking her hand in mine, I pull her to the bed. I untuck the towel under her arms and she grips it in the center between her breasts. “Let it go.”
She releases her grip and lets the towel fall to the floor. And again, we’re flesh against flesh.
“Lie down.”
When she’s on her back, I creep over her on my all fours. She blinks and it forces some tears to roll down her temples and into her hair.
She’s drenched with my come and I glide into her with ease. “Close your eyes. Close your mind. Just feel me moving inside of you. Only feel us in this moment and you’ll know how important you are to me. I won’t have to say it.”
I study her face, paying particular attention to her mouth. Her lips part and the pace of her breath moving in and out of her chest is in sync with the rhythm of my body moving in and out of her.
Slow. Deep. Steady.
I love you, Lou. Even if I don’t say the words, can’t you feel how much I love you? Can’t you sense it in the way that I touch you? See it in the way that I look at you?
Her walls contract around my cock, and it pushes me over the edge. I come deep inside her again, giving her every drop that I have to give.
Lowering my head, I press my forehead to hers. “I need you to tell me that we’re okay.”
She blinks rapidly. “We’re okay.”
Beautiful Illusions Duet Bundle: Eighty-One Nights and Beautiful Ever After Page 22