Kage

by Tara A. Devlin

  “Were you at a bar?”

  “What if I was?”

  The words wounded me with their vitriol. I didn’t know how to respond, so instead I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the window. The curtain was open slightly, letting in a sliver of moonlight.

  “I’m sorry.”

  There was a moment’s silence.

  “No, I’m sorry.”

  I heard rustling and then a hand on my shoulder. I put my hand over hers.

  “I don’t know what’s going on here, that’s all. With… whatever this is.”

  “What do you want to happen?”

  “What do you want?”

  “I asked first.”

  I bit my lip.

  “I like you.”

  “I like you, too.”

  And that was that. I didn’t have the courage to ask her where she was disappearing to while I was at work. Why she was coming home late at night smelling of beer and cigarettes. I didn’t have the strength to ask her how long she would be staying, and as petty as it sounded, how long she would be living off the very little savings I had.

  Aya came from wealth. That much was evident from the house she and her father lived in. But she hadn’t gone back. Or, if she had, she hadn’t told me. My savings were dwindling faster than chips at a casino. But I couldn’t tell her that either. Because I wanted her to be happy. Because a lot of shit had happened in the last week and for the first time I felt like I was making a difference to someone’s life. Like I was important. Like I was needed.

  That was it, wasn’t it? At the heart of it all. I felt like I was needed, and that was the most important thing in the world. More important than money. More important than my job. More important than the friends I didn’t have. Aya needed me. I couldn’t say no to that.

  “Hold me.”

  The words were a sledgehammer to my glass walls. I put my arms around her and we lay back in the bed. I realised that she was tipsy, if not fully drunk. The smell was on her breath as well. Where was she getting the money for that? My mind went to places I wished it wouldn’t, and as I struggled to bring it back, I realised how futile that was.

  She’s playing you. She’s using you. You’re nothing and you know it. You’re worthless. You just happened to be there at the time, and someone was better than no-one. No. On the contrary, she targeted you because you were weak. Because she knew she could use you and you would do anything for her and it would help her achieve her goals.

  You don’t know her. You don’t know what she wants, what she’s truly after. You’re an idiot. You don’t know the first thing about her. And yet, you let her into your home without hesitation. Housed her when you knew the police were after her. Lied to the police for her.

  How stupid could you be? You let her bring a monster into your house. It wasn’t her father. That’s just what she wanted you to think. Her father was a victim, just like you will be, if you don’t do something soon. That shadow wasn’t doing his bidding. It was working for her all along.

  You got pulled into the con because you were an easy mark. And as soon as she’s done milking you for everything you have, she’s gonna spit you out and leave you in the gutter to rot as well. How do you even know that was her father? And what of this brother that she speaks of but you’ve never seen? Who exactly is he? Why doesn’t she go to him for help? It’s all just a little convenient, isn’t it?

  In the deepest, darkest hours of the night, thoughts are left to roam free. I was unable to stop mine, and as I felt the darkness claiming me once more, I could have sworn I saw something move in the corner of the room. Something even darker than the night.

  21

  I got a call at work the next day. The police wanted me to come in for “a few questions” after work. I spent the rest of the day in a panic, and for the first time I could remember, the boss let me go early. “I’m not going to be the one getting in trouble for something you’ve done,” he said and let me go.

  I took a cab to the station and introduced myself to the woman at the front desk.

  “Just a moment. If you could sit over there, an officer will be with you in a moment.”

  I sat on a cold, hard chair and looked around. My heart was beating so hard I could hear it throbbing in my ears. What was it this time? I told them that I didn’t know anything about the old guy upstairs, and that was the truth. The fact that he died in the same manner as Aya’s father was suspicious, sure, but other than that, I didn’t even know the guy.

  “Ms Sato? Sato Megu?” A rather large, burly officer was looking down at a notepad. I stood to attention.

  “Yes, sir. That would be me, sir.”

  He indicated to the hallway with his head. “This way, please.”

  I followed him down the long, lonely corridor. Doors lined either side of us, but they were all closed. He stopped before the second door from the end and opened it.

  “In here, please.”

  I bowed my head and stepped inside. “Excuse me.”

  Two officers were already seated at the table. They stood up as I entered.

  “Ms Sato Megu,” the burly officer said, and then closed the door behind me.

  “Ah, Ms Sato. So nice of you to come and see us. Thank you for taking time out of your busy day.” The officer was tall and slim. He smiled politely. So, he was the good cop.

  “No, not at all.” I shook my head. “Um, but I’m not sure why I’ve been called here today. Did something happen?”

  “No, no. Well, yes, but we just wanted to ask you a few more questions about the incident in your apartment building the other day.” The slim officer pulled out a notepad and started flicking through the pages. The shorter man next to him watched me, unblinking. “Now, it says here that you live on the third floor, is that correct? Apartment 3C?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I see. And did you know the man who lived upstairs?”

  I shook my head.

  “You need to say that out loud,” the shorter officer said.

  “N-no. I didn’t know him.”

  “Uh huh. Okay. You never ran into him in the hall, or on the stairwell, or when you were getting your mail?”

  I swallowed. “I-I don’t know, sir. Maybe. I see a lot of people there that I don’t know. It’s a large building.”

  “Indeed it is.” The officer nodded and turned another page. “The statement you gave the questioning officer says that you were watching TV that night, alone. You were watching a show on-” he paused and turned the page again “-ramen, is that correct?”

  “Y-yes, sir.”

  “What ramen were they eating?”

  “I’m sorry?”

  He smiled. “I’m sorry, I’m just a big ramen fan. Do you remember what they were eating? What chain they were at? Who was it?”

  “I-I don’t remember the details anymore, I’m sorry.”

  The officer sat back in his chair. “Ah, is that so? That’s a pity.” He turned to the officer next to him. “I was hoping for something new to check out. Oh well. Never mind.”

  I couldn’t follow what game they were trying to play. It was all over my head. I played with my hands in my lap, sitting up as straight as I possibly could.

  “Okay, so, you don’t remember the TV show you watched, and you claim that you were home alone, correct?”

  He knew I wasn’t alone. That was it. Even if he didn’t know it was Aya, he suspected something. Why else would they call me to the station after I already told them I didn’t know anything? There were plenty of other people that lived in the building, many of them on the old guy’s floor, or even the floor above and below that might have seen something. But me, on the third floor? Why would I have seen anything? Why would I be suspicious?

  They knew something.

  I swallowed.

  Aya.

  The short officer took a photo out of his folder and slid it across the table. “Do you know this man?”

  I leaned forward and shook my head. “No, I
don’t thi-” I froze. No. It couldn’t be. I did know the man. Well, not ‘know him’ know him, but I knew his face. It was the man from the convenience store. The guy that abused me over the cigarettes. The guy that left once he saw the security camera was filming him. “H-he’s a customer at the convenience store I work at.” Or, he was. He was lying on the ground in the photo, his chest torn apart. I turned away.

  “When was the last time you saw this man?”

  “Um, yesterday, I think. H-he came into the store and he wanted to buy a can of coffee and some cigarettes.”

  “Wanted to?”

  I nodded. “Well, I don’t think that was what he actually wanted. He seemed to be scoping the store out, you know? Looking around. Seeing where things were. If we were… alone.”

  “Alone?” The slim officer leaned forward. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, he grabbed me by the front of my shirt and threatened me, and when I pointed the security camera out, he stopped. Then he left. That was it.”

  The officer sat back. That much he knew. The boss had gone to them with the footage. My heart raced.

  “That was the last time you saw him? Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely,” I said.

  “And where were you last night?”

  “Last night?” I remembered Aya stumbling into bed at 2 a.m., stinking of beer and cigarettes. The sickness in my stomach grew. “I was at home.”

  “Alone?”

  “Alone.”

  The officers looked at each other. I was the suspect. They were just trying to figure out how, and why.

  “You see this right here,” the short officer said and pointed to the photo again. “His heart burst. Right inside his chest. It’s the strangest thing. And then after his heart burst, something ripped his ribcage open. Not before. After.”

  I didn’t ask how they knew that. I didn’t want to know.

  “We saw the exact same injuries on the man in your apartment building. I’m sure you can see why we find this all just a little strange.”

  They hadn’t connected it to Aya’s father yet. Once they did, and once they knew that Aya was with me, it would all be over. They didn’t need solid evidence that it was one of us. They’d be able to put together a case strong enough to convince the judge and then it would be hard labour and cold rice for life. I swallowed.

  “Y-you don’t think I did this?” I tried not to laugh.

  “Should I?”

  I jumped. Something behind the short officer moved. Something dark. The slim officer turned around. I shook my head.

  “N-no, of course not. How would I even…?” I gestured to the photo. I didn’t even know how to describe what was going on. How did one burst a heart from inside a chest?

  “Well, I was hoping you could tell me.”

  Something moved past the tiny window in the door. I jumped again. It was there. It was in the room and now it was outside. It was watching. It was listening. The officers were in danger. I was in danger.

  “Are we done here?” I fidgeted in the seat.

  “Somewhere you need to be, ma’am?”

  “I just had a really long day at work and I’m tired and I want to go home.” I put a hand on my leg to stop it from tapping. The officers looked at each other. The shorter one shrugged.

  “Alright.” They both stood up at the same time and the slim officer held the door open for me. “That’s all for today, but stick around. We might have more questions for you later.”

  I nodded and walked down the hall as fast as my feet would carry me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. As I passed another small room, I looked inside. It wasn’t there. I closed my eyes and willed my feet to keep moving forward. Why? Why now? I hadn’t seen it for days. It was gone. We were free.

  But we weren’t.

  The shadow was back, and it was killing again.

  22

  The door slammed and I jumped. It was Aya.

  “Where were you?” It sounded more accusatory than I wanted. She stopped when she saw I was sitting on the couch. It was 11 p.m.

  “Out,” she said. “I was out.”

  “I can see that.” There was that smell again. Beer and cigarettes. “You’ve been out a lot lately.”

  She hung her jacket up and opened the fridge to get some water. “Well, I never know what time you’re going to be back, so…”

  “So you constantly come home smelling of beer and cigarettes? Because, you know, I really don’t give a shit what you do. Your life is your own. But the lying to me isn’t cool.”

  Aya put the glass of water down and hung her head. There. I finally said it. So why didn’t it make me feel any better?

  “I was with Tatsuya.”

  Tatsuya. Her brother. “So you went home then? How is… everything? Did your brother… did Tatsuya-” the name sounded foreign on my lips “-deal with… everything?”

  Aya shrugged. “I haven’t been home. Not yet.”

  “So how did you run into your brother?”

  She shrugged again. “I just saw him when I was out walking the other day.”

  She was lying. She knew that I knew but she was still lying. It angered me, but at the very least, it was progress. It was a start.

  “You just ran into your brother, all the way out here? Your big CEO brother?”

  “He’s not a CEO. Not yet. Look, it doesn’t matter. But he’s busy and works late, so late night is the only time I can see him.”

  I nodded. Sure. That made sense. “Did you tell him about… what happened?” About the freaky shadow that’s been killing people and killed your father? Yeah, I was sure that would go down well.

  “He knows.” She stopped. “We both thought it would come to this one day.”

  What did that mean?

  “I don’t-”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she said, interrupting me. “It should only be for a few more days. Maybe a week or two, tops. We just need to get everything sorted. Then I can return home and everything will go back to normal. I’ll be out of your hair. You don’t have to worry about me ever again.”

  I was even more confused than when the conversation started. “What do you mean, ‘out of my hair’?”

  “I’ve seen the way you look at me, whether you realise it or not. The pity. The fear.”

  I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn’t find any words. I’d never once looked at her like that. I… I loved her. Just thinking the words was like a blow to the stomach.

  “I don’t-”

  “It’s okay. Really. I understand that just being around me can be difficult. That I bring bad luck with me wherever I go. Maybe it’s that thing, I really don’t know. It doesn’t matter.” She looked up and there were tears forming in her eyes. Her bloodshot eyes. She was drunk. “You know, maybe I should just leave now and save you the hassle. You were very kind in letting me stay here, kinder than most people would have been. But-”

  I walked over and placed my hands on her cheeks. I pulled her to me forcibly and silenced her with a kiss.

  “Aya.”

  “What?”

  “You’re drunk.”

  “I’m not-”

  “It’s okay. Really.”

  Silence.

  “Stay with me.”

  “But-”

  “No buts. Stay. Please. I’m asking you.”

  More silence.

  “Do you want to know something?”

  “What?”

  “The day I saw you, that very first day, I thought to myself, ‘wow, that’s an attractive woman.’”

  “Liar.”

  “No, I’ve never been very good at that. It’s kind of a problem. But I thought, ‘Wow, that’s an attractive woman, and I don’t even care that she’s dragged me into the dirty gutter, because holy hell, look at her.’”

  “I’m sorry about that…”

  “Shut up. I’m glad, because the day you dragged me into that dirty gutter, the day I decided to take the plunge and chase after
you, that was the day that brought you into my life. For that I’m grateful. Even with everything else that’s been going on.”

  She hid her face. I pulled her closer to me, squeezing her in a hug so tight that my arms might fall off, and that would be okay. Because it would be for her.

  “If you need to talk to someone, I’m here. If you just want to sit on the couch together in silence, I’m here. If you want to stay here for the next few weeks, months, whatever it takes until you’re feeling better, then guess what? I’m here.”

  She squeezed me back.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  I took her to the bathroom, helped her get washed up, and then we went to sleep. A sleep filled with visions of darkness and growing shadows.

  23

  Leave house.

  Walk to work.

  Feed Dusty.

  Open up.

  Stack shelves.

  Listen to boss.

  Stack shelves.

  Get yelled at.

  Serve customers.

  Get yelled at again.

  Stack more shelves.

  Why do I keep doing this job?

  I grabbed my bag and left the store when lunchtime rolled around. I tried not to make it a regular occurrence, due to the cost and all, but I knew that if I stayed in that store another minute longer, I would commit an offence that would not be so easy to return from. A step away from everything would be nice, and there was a family restaurant just down the road that had cheap meals and a free drink bar. Once in a while was nice.

  I sat down in a window seat, placed my order to the teenage waiter who appeared to hate his job as much as I did, then went over to the drink bar. Melon soda. Yes. It was a melon soda kind of day. I filled a cup and sat back down. Lights caught my attention. Police lights.

  Again?

  A police car was sitting across the road with two officers inside. Two officers I knew well. It was the slim officer and short officer from the day before. The slim officer waved.

  “What the hell?”

  Were they surveilling me? They clearly wanted me to know they were there. That they were watching me. I looked around, but there were only two other people in the restaurant. I looked back at the car. The short officer was reading a magazine. The slim officer was watching me, only occasionally glancing at the road.