Before I Die

by Nikki Ash

  I have an entire list of things I want to experience. A life I’ve barely even begun to live.

  I only have one option: Fight. Fight, and then run for my life.

  Without warning, I drive my elbow into Ethan’s stomach. My little stunt surprises him, and he stumbles back, giving me enough room to dart past him and run for the open door he came through a few minutes ago. My heart is thrashing against my chest, and I feel the storm chasing me, but I still have hope. For a second, I think maybe I’m going to make it. I’m going to get away. But the thought ends too quickly when Ethan grabs me by my waist and pulls me to him. My back slams into his hard chest as he drags me back to the spot where he first untied me. And with every step we take, I lose another slice of hope that I’m going to make it out of this mess.

  “I should’ve known you’d end up being a pain in my ass,” he grumbles as he drops onto the couch, bringing me with him into his lap.

  “Let go of me!” I scream, afraid he’s going to hurt me the way that other guy did.

  My arms flail about trying to slap him. My legs kick wildly, aiming for any part of him I can make contact with. My back is flat against his stomach, and even though I refuse to stop trying to escape, it’s obvious my efforts are futile. Warm tears trail down my cheeks as I slowly accept defeat.

  He manages to twist me around until I’m straddling him. In this position, we’re close, too close. I squirm in my spot, wanting to get away, and Ethan grabs my hips, holding me in place.

  “Don’t fucking move. I’m done playing with you.” He glares at me harshly. “Jesus, who the hell taught you how to throw an elbow like that?”

  My mind shifts back to a memory of my brother moving his couches out of the way to teach me self-defense. No move I was taught would’ve worked against either of these men.

  “My brother.”

  “Your dirty fucking cop brother?” he spits, making the tiny hairs on the back of my nape rise.

  “You know him?” I ask slowly, trying to gauge his reaction.

  “Yeah, I knew him. Apparently, God wasn’t with him in his time of need, either.”

  Without thinking, I bring my hand up and slap him across the face. His head snaps to the side, and I take a moment to bask in the fact I’m stronger than I’ve given myself credit for. A muscle in his jaw ticks, and he swings his fuming gaze back to my petrified one. A malicious grin appears on his cruel lips, and he latches onto my backside, pulling me closer into his body. His breath prickles my skin as his teeth scrape my ear. I shudder, my breathing quickening.

  “Not a smart move.”

  “You deserved it,” I hiss before I can stop myself.

  The same muscle in his jaw ticks again, and then I’m being lifted and thrown onto the couch, his strong and hard body pinning me against the soft surface. His large hand wraps around my throat, pressing gently into my skin, the weight of his legs caging me in.

  I gasp in panic, trying to catch my next breath. Knowing the man above me is literally holding my life in his hands has my heart beating wildly against my ribcage. The more I struggle, the more Ethan presses his grip to my throat. His cold eyes crashing with mine.

  “You have no idea who the fuck I am…” He inhales, the cool air hissing through his clenched teeth, and leans in until his face is inches from my mouth. “If you did, you never would’ve approached me that night.”

  A night I’m full on regretting right now.

  His fingers loosen and graze my throat lightly. His body is still hard against me. My chest hurts and fear consumes me.

  “Ethan, please,” I beg. For what? I don’t even know anymore.

  “Don’t think because I know just how sweet your mouth tastes, I’m going to go soft for you.” Unforgiving eyes lock with mine, and my breathing becomes shallow, tears filling my lids once again.

  “You need to tell me every single fucking thing that has happened, from the moment my tongue left your mouth in the club, until now,” he commands, releasing me, so I can speak. I cough a little, but keep my mouth shut, refusing to speak. The room is spinning, and my head is throbbing. My vision blurs, and I close my eyes to clear it.

  Ethan curses under his breath and stands, walking over to the other side of the room.

  I scrub my hands over my face in a pathetic attempt to calm my nerves. The stress and fear from this entire situation are taking over my body. I’m scared and nobody is coming to save me. I thought maybe there was a chance Ethan would help me when he first showed up, but I know now he’s not the hero in this story.

  Ethan pulls his phone out of his pocket and hits a button, then brings it up to his ear. His eyes travel back to me, still lying on the couch. He raises a single brow but doesn’t say anything.

  This day has gone from bad to downright disastrous, and I haven’t any clue what to do to get myself home. A home I might never see again. I close my eyes, trying to steady myself. I need to make it through this, whatever it takes. I’ll never stop fighting, but first, I need to calm down.

  “Where the hell are you, Logan?” Ethan yells into the phone. His tone is different with the guy on the phone—if possible it’s even more menacing. I briefly wonder if Logan is the name of the man who took me.

  Feeling like it’s probably best to be on my guard, I sit up and turn toward Ethan and the door. My head is still disoriented, and the thumping in my temples is only increasing. Ethan glares at me while listening to whatever that Logan guy is saying.

  “You didn’t handle shit. I’m staring at your fuck up right now. You need to get your ass to your house.”

  Ethan hits a button on his phone and places it back in his pocket then walks over to the corner of the room, where bottles of dark liquid stand next to several glasses on a table. He fills one glass to the brim and the other only halfway. He returns to me and places the half-filled glass on a table beside me. Then he takes a long sip from his own glass, glaring at me over the rim.

  “It will help you relax.”

  “I don’t want to relax. I want to go home.”

  I break eye contact with him and stare at the glass with the dark liquid. I know it’s liquor of some kind. Truth be told, I don’t really like to drink. The fruity drinks on my birthday were delicious, but that liquid encouragement led me to Ethan, only proving that drinking doesn’t lead to anything good.

  If I make it through this, I will never drink again.

  Sitting taller and ignoring the drink in front of me, I say, “So…what’s going to happen?”

  Ethan clenches his jaw, swirling his drink in his hand. “I gave you the opportunity to speak earlier, but instead you wanted to act like some feisty little ninja. Now I’m done talking.”

  “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I’m just really scared. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  His laughter booms through the room, bouncing off the walls. “You could never hurt me. I would never give you that power.”

  “But—”

  “No more talking.” Ethan tosses his head back, swallowing the last of his drink in one gulp. He licks the flavor from his lips and then carefully places his glass next to my untouched one, eyeing it with curiosity.

  “I apologize there are no blueberry martinis here.”

  Blueberry martinis? Oh! My drink of choice at the club. “How do you know what I was drinking at the club?”

  Ethan sighs, tension tightening around his eyes. He slides next to me, his body so close to mine, the warmth from him radiates into me. Reaching across me, he picks up my untouched glass and drinks it in one swallow. For a few minutes we sit next to each other in silence. I feel him staring at me, but I don’t look his way. The front door slams shut and I jump, my body bumping into his. He glances at me, clearly unaffected by the loud noise.

  “Don’t you two look cozy.” Logan.

  My heart comes to a stop before speeding up. It was stupid of me to think I would never see this man again. Ethan called Logan. My suspicions being confirmed. They’re working together.

/>   I’m going to be sent to be somebody’s sex slave. I’ll never get to see my parents again. Or Blaire. Or attend my brother’s funeral.

  Ethan stands and walks over to Logan, and my hand twitches to pull him back, to beg him to protect me, which is quite ironic since not too long ago he had his hand around my throat.

  “Cozy isn’t a word I would use to describe the situation where a woman tries to kick me in the balls, elbows me in the ribs, and slaps the fuck out of me.”

  Logan laughs. “You should have slapped the fuck out of her. That’s what I did when she fought back. Crazy fucking bitch.”

  My body tenses and my eyes find Ethan, who looks back at me, his gaze going to my busted lip before he turns his attention back to Logan.

  “You hit a fucking woman? What is wrong with you?”

  “The bitch attacked me!”

  “What the hell is she even doing here? I told you to bring her to me.”

  “I fixed everything. I’m getting back almost triple the money her brother owes you and we don’t have to worry about her running her fucking mouth.”

  Ethan sneers. “If you had handled the situation with her brother correctly, there wouldn’t be anything to fix. What the fuck did you do to fix the problem you created?”

  I close my eyes, fighting back the tears at the mention of my brother. What did Ethan mean by that? Was Logan not supposed to kill Stephen? Or is he mad because I was there and I’m now a problem to be fixed?

  “She’s been sold. I know a guy who knows a guy. It’s done, Ethan. Two birds; one stone.” Logan shrugs then continues. “The less you know the better. I just came back to grab her. I had to junk her car so nobody would find it. Don’t worry, you won’t hear from her again and everything will go back to normal.”

  This is it. I’m on my way to being sold. All because my brother apparently had a gambling problem. It makes sense now, though. The expensive remodeling of his bathroom. The way he acted so spooked. His final words to me. He must’ve known he was in trouble.

  A sob rips through me, and Ethan glances my way—completely devoid of all emotion—before he continues his conversation.

  “I think the more I know the better. You’ve already fucked this all up enough. You won’t be taking her any-fucking-where. Not on my watch. I don’t know what you’ve been doing behind my back, but it’s over, Logan.”

  My heart swells at his words. He didn’t know about Logan trying to sell me. Maybe he will save me after all.

  Logan shakes his head. “You don’t understand. These people…you don’t fuck with them.”

  “Wrong!” Ethan shouts, making me jump. “You don’t fuck with me.”

  Ethan stalks over to me and, taking my hand in his, pulls me up, then walks us past Logan without saying another word. Logan starts calling Ethan’s name, but he ignores him.

  We walk out the door, and I try my best to wiggle out of his grip, hoping to run far away from here, but quickly lose the battle when his hand moves up my arm and his fingers grip my bicep. “Stop fighting me or I’ll change my mind and leave your ass here.”

  With his threat, I immediately stop fighting him. I have no idea what the heck is going on or who to trust, but the last place I want to be is here.

  We stop in front of an expensive-looking silver car. It’s sleek and beautiful and looks like it should be sitting in a showroom of a dealership.

  “Get in the car,” Ethan orders, while opening the passenger door. I freeze, unsure of what to do as I stare down the driveway then back to the house where Logan is standing outside his front door, not daring to walk any closer. I could try to run, find a neighbor and ask them to call the police. But what if I don’t make it? Will Ethan really leave me here? It was obvious from his argument with Logan, he wasn’t on board with me being sold, which means as of right now, Ethan is my only hope at being saved.

  “I don’t have time for this shit,” Ethan says. “You have two choices: you can run and take your chances, but Logan will find you, which means whoever he’s involved with will find you, and I can assure you no amount of praying will fucking save you. Or you can get in my goddamn car right now.”

  He doesn’t have to tell me twice.

  I nod once, and Ethan nods back in understanding, then flicks his gaze to the inside of the car, indicating for me to get in. Once I’m completely in the car, he slams the door and then walks around to the driver’s side.

  When he opens his door and climbs in, my hair whirls around my face, the cold air rushing inside. I release a shiver and wrap my arms around myself as I fight against the frigid evening air.

  “Are you cold?” Ethan asks as he presses a single button to start the car. I look around, noticing how equally stunning the inside of his car is. Black leather seats, a huge monitor in the middle of the dashboard. There are buttons and knobs I’ve never seen before. I can’t even imagine how much this car costs.

  “Are you cold?” he repeats.

  “Yes,” I say, tugging on my sleeves. “My coat was in my car, which apparently is being crushed to smithereens.”

  Ethan presses a button and a gust of heat comes out of the vents in front of me. A few seconds later my butt and thighs get warm.

  “Thank you,” I tell him in an attempt at being cordial.

  When he doesn’t reply, I look over at him. He’s glancing down, and when I follow his line of vision, I notice my dress has risen. I swallow thickly, pulling my dress back down. He looks back at me, not caring that he was caught checking out my legs, and backs out of the driveway.

  Realization hits me. I’m about to disappear with this man and I have no idea where we’re going. The feeling is unsettling and terrifying. Ethan’s grip on the steering wheel as we drive down the unfamiliar roads tells me it’s not the best idea to ask questions. When he’s angry, it’s scary, and I’m not sure I want to be on the receiving end of his wrath. I need to be smart about this.

  Glancing out the window, I try to keep track of the turns we make.

  Left turn on Main Street.

  Right turn Washington Avenue.

  Ethan continues to drive farther away. With every turn, I lose all sense of direction, and once he hits the expressway I give up, knowing I’ll never be able to find my way back. I don’t even know where we started from.

  I force myself to close my eyes and go someplace else. Anywhere else. I think of Blaire and the last conversation we had with each other. Will she notice I’m missing? Of course she will. She knows me better than anyone. Hopefully she’ll go to the police. Not that they’ll believe her… If they didn’t believe me when I told them Stephen was murdered, it’s doubtful they’ll believe I’ve been taken. Or maybe it will be what they need, to see what I was trying to tell them…

  My thoughts go back to Stephen. It’s been over two days since I last heard his voice, saw his smile. He’s gone and never coming back. I’ll never hear him laugh again. We’ll never watch reruns of my favorite shows while we eat Chinese. He’ll never get married and have kids. I’ll never become an aunt. I’ll never be able to ask him what happened. Why these men are calling him corrupt and saying he has—had—a gambling problem. With my head facing away from Ethan, silent tears of loss and devastation trail down my cheeks, soaking my shirt.

  “Promise me you’ll find your own life and live it to the fullest… Live hard. Love harder.”

  His last words to me are on repeat. I can’t bring him back, but I can keep my promise to him. I have an entire list of things I want to do before I die, and I haven’t even scratched the surface. I’ve been so busy trying to live my life for my mom and God, I forgot to live for me. That stops now. If—no, when—I get through all this and I’m safe, I’m going to do every single item on my list, in memory of my brother.

  Ethan

  What the fuck did I just get myself into? The question runs through my head on repeat as I drive away from Logan’s house and toward… Fuck! Where the hell am I even going? To my house? No. That’s the first place
Logan will look. To the club? Hell no. And then an idea hits me…My dad’s beach house. He hasn’t stayed there in years, and it will be the last place Logan will think to look. A cleaning company comes through once a month, so it will be clean. The perfect place to hide her while I figure out my next move.

  Jesus. I’m hiding a woman I don’t even know. What the hell do I even care what happens to her? She’s not my damn problem. She’s just a woman I kissed at a club… A woman I’ve been fantasizing about kissing again…

  Nope, not going there. She is nothing but a distraction. I need to figure out what the hell Logan is up to, who he’s working with, make sure she’s safe, and then drop her ass off wherever she came from.

  As I drive—taking the long way, in case Logan is following—I try like hell not to pay attention to her sniffling next to me. I know what it feels like to lose someone, so I imagine she’s mourning the loss of her brother, on top of dealing with being kidnapped and threatened to be sold.

  Back in Logan’s house, when I had her in my lap, all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and tell her how fucking sorry I was for my part in this mess, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let her get close to me. When she looked at me with those big, beautiful, chocolate-brown eyes, begging me to save her, my heart fissured in my chest. But I can’t go there.

  Never again.

  Nevaeh

  The car lurches to a stop, and my body freezes, my eyes shooting open to take in my surroundings. We haven’t uttered a word to each other since we left, and I’m not sure what to expect. My heart skips a beat when Ethan gets out of the car and shuts the door. As he comes around to my side and opens my door, I quickly wipe the lingering tears from my eyes. He holds his hand out for me to take, and like a moth to a flame, I accept his proffered hand, allowing him to help me.

  I take one last glance at his sexy car, wondering if maybe I should add drive hot, expensive car to my list.

  “It’s a Nissan GT-R,” he explains, as if he can read my thoughts.