Before I Die

by Nikki Ash

  This is news to me. Does that mean he plans to have me safe in the next few weeks? The thought leaves me with mixed feelings. I hate being scared of being taken, but I’ve grown to love hanging out with Ethan, especially the last few nights of us sharing a bed. And when I go home, I’ll not only be without Ethan, but without Blaire.

  “Do you live in the city?” Blaire asks, being her nosey self.

  “I actually live on the beach as well,” Ethan says. His hand lands on my thigh and he squeezes it softly. “I have a townhouse about fifteen minutes from the club, over in Margate City, and I’m hoping I can convince Nevaeh to move in with me.”

  Blaire’s grin widens and I gasp in shock.

  “Really? Well, the timing would be perfect since I’m going to be moving in with Victor.”

  Ethan nods, telling me he overheard us talking outside the club.

  “I’ve got to get back to work,” he says to me like he didn’t just drop some crazy bomb. “Stay out of trouble.”

  Before I can argue or ask him what the heck is going on, his lips connect with mine. The kiss is slow and gentle and all-consuming, and when he breaks the kiss and walks away, I’m left breathless and confused.

  “Wow,” Blaire says. “That man has it bad.”

  “We barely know each other,” I argue.

  “Well, whatever he knows is enough to have him wanting you to move in with him. How did you meet him anyway?

  “At the club.”

  Blaire’s brows furrow and then realization dawns on her. “He’s the guy from the club… The one you kissed?”

  “Yeah.” I nod, taking a sip of my drink.

  “How did you find him? Why didn’t you tell me?” Blaire frowns. “I thought you were staying at a beach house that your brother’s friend owns. Wait, was Ethan friends with your brother?”

  Shit! I mean shoot… whatever, shit! I shouldn’t have opened this can of worms. How the heck am I going to explain this?

  “Nevaeh.” Blaire puts her hand on top of mine. “I feel like we’re growing apart. I used to be the person you told everything to. Is this because I’ve been spending more time with Victor?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “Yes, Ethan knew Stephen. It’s how I ran into him again.” Not a complete lie. “We’ve been spending time together and I wasn’t sure where it was heading, so I didn’t want to say anything until I knew.” Also, not a lie.

  “Okay.” Blaire smiles. “But you know I’ll always be here for you, right? Even when we’re living separately. I’m only a phone call away.”

  “I know.” I down the rest of my drink while we sit in silence for a few minutes.

  “Wanna dance?” I suggest, knowing Blaire loves to dance and it will make her happy and hopefully take her mind off everything I’m hiding.

  “Absolutely.” Blaire stands from her stool and takes my hand in hers.

  We spend the next hour or so drinking and dancing. Victor doesn’t really like to dance, so it’s mostly just Blaire and me on the dance floor. Rosco remains close, but still allows to me to have fun. Blaire hasn’t asked about him, so I don’t bother to explain. She probably just thinks Ethan is overprotective.

  As I’m shaking my butt to Justin Bieber singing about being the one, strong arms wrap around me from behind. I jump, my eyes darting over to Rosco, who’s sporting a small grin on his usually serious face. His grin tells me it’s Ethan behind me, allowing me to relax in his embrace. When his hand moves my hair to the side, and his mouth moves to my ear, nibbling on the bottom of my earlobe, I breathe in the sweet yet masculine smell of Ethan’s cologne, only further confirming it’s him who’s touching me.

  “Move in with me,” he whispers, shocking and startling me.

  “You were serious?” I ask, turning in my place to face him.

  His hands snake around my backside, and he moves to the rhythm of the music with a sexy smirk splayed on his lips. “Move in with me,” he repeats, pushing his knee through the middle of my legs and grinding his thigh against my center. The movement hits me in all the right spots, making it hard to converse.

  “You’re just saying that because you heard Blaire tell me she’s moving in with Victor.”

  “No.” He lifts my hands so they wrap around his neck. We continue to dance, our bodies moving in sync with each other. “I’m saying it because after spending the last few nights with you wrapped around me in my bed, I don’t want to go back to sleeping separately.” He tilts his face so his lips brush against mine in a teasing way. “And I don’t think you want to either. I’ll get your stuff and move it to my place so it’s ready when we are. Let her sell her condo.”

  I’m in shock at his words. We’ve only known each other for a short time. Sure, I’ve read in my romance books where the man and woman quickly fall in love, but this isn’t a romance novel, and in my reality, a man like Ethan doesn’t end up with a woman like me.

  “Talk to me,” he murmurs. “Tell me the problem, so I can argue it.”

  “We barely know each other.” I repeat the same excuse I told Blaire earlier.

  “You know me better than most.” He kisses the corner of my mouth, as I consider what he said. I know him better than most? My mind goes back to Kelsi and them losing their baby. How hard it was for Ethan to tell me about them, but he still did. He let me in, and it explained a lot about him and the way he is.

  “Move in with me,” Ethan whispers again, brushing his lips against mine. I open my mouth to tell him yes, but quickly stop myself, instead blurting out another excuse.

  “You’re only asking me to move in because I’m in danger.”

  Ethan sighs, but I continue before he can argue. “I can’t. I’m sorry, but I need to know if or when we move in together it’s for the right reasons, and not because you feel bad for me or have some white knight complex going on.”

  Ethan laughs softly. “You have all the excuses, but I can see it in your eyes, you want to live with me. You’re just scared of what you’re feeling. And I get it. I’m scared shitless, but I’m not about to let it stop me from having you in every way possible. And we both know damn well, I’m not a white knight.”

  He dips his head and kisses my top lip and then my bottom. “I’m going to make you safe, and while I’m doing that, I’m going to make sure we get to know each other on every level possible.” He deepens the kiss, flicking his tongue into my mouth. He tastes delicious, like the perfect mixture of scotch and Ethan.

  “I’m going to make sure the next time I ask you to move in with me, you’ll have no reason to say anything but yes.”

  We spend a little while longer at The Warehouse, while Ethan conducts whatever business he needs to conduct. Blaire and I have a few more of those delicious fruity drinks and dance until we’re both glistening with sweat. The club seems to be crazy busy for a weeknight. I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I imagined it being dead since people work during the week. Apparently this crowd has no problem drinking and dancing until early in the morning and then getting up to go to work.

  A couple hours later, Ethan shows back up at our table and tells us he’s ready to go. With my head fuzzy from drinking, I forget about my suggestion of going to the strip club next door, so I’m confused when, instead of heading to the parking lot, Ethan steers me next door, Blaire and Victor following behind.

  Ethan steps up to the bouncer and shakes his hand. “Marlene will show you to your table,” he says. “Benjamin is sorry he couldn’t be here to personally escort you, but he’s made sure you’re in VIP.”

  Ethan pats the burly gentleman on his shoulder and thanks him. Then interlacing his hand with mine, follows Marlene into the club. Unlike The Warehouse that has loud, fast-paced dance music pumping through the speakers, Assets has slow, seductive music blaring from theirs. The walls are white and the floors are marble. There’s a huge stage in the center of the room with two winding staircases on each side, leading upstairs. There’s a bar on the back wall with mirrored shelves fille
d with liquor. The tables are a thick expensive looking wood, and the chairs are surprisingly comfy looking, reminding me of a reading chair. Soft pink and silver fluorescent lights cover the entire area, lighting up the room, yet keeping it dark and seductive.

  As we follow the hostess, my eyes dart around the club. There’s a gorgeous woman gracefully dancing on the stage, using the pole as her prop. She’s topless, and her breasts are perky and perfectly tanned. Her hair is pin-straight and her makeup is on point. She smiles seductively at the crowd of men who are sitting around the stage as she peels herself from the pole and removes her panties. The men, who appear to be deep in conversation, look her way occasionally, but aren’t salivating over her like I imagined.

  I saw a movie once about a stripper. The men were standing close and throwing dollar bills onto the stage. But here, the men are dressed in suits with drinks in their hands, talking to one another. It’s as if the dancer on stage is nothing more than a back drop. If the stage wasn’t front and center, I would think this club was a men’s lounge of some sort.

  We walk up the winding staircase to the right of the stage, and once we’re at the top, Marlene shows us to our table. In order to get to it, she has to open the black velvet rope that has a sign hanging from it, indicating this is VIP. The table is a half-moon shape, similar to the ones downstairs, but instead of the comfy reading chairs, there are two two-person love seats. Next to the table is a standing bucket of ice with a bottle of alcohol nestled inside.

  Unlike downstairs, this floor has several different mini-stages. I notice the stage in front of our area is empty, and when I glance around, I see each area has their own stage. Apparently VIPs get their own personal show. There are no less than three bars up here—one in each corner. And then in the back corner, there’s a hallway. I’m not sure what’s back there. Maybe the bathrooms?

  “Your dancer, Christy, will be out in a few minutes. Naomi will be your server and she will make sure whatever you need is taken care of.”

  Ethan nods once and pulls me onto the loveseat with him. It’s leather and plush and I sink into Ethan’s side comfortably as he drapes his arm around my shoulders.

  “Dom Perignon,” Blaire says, lifting the bottle and smirking at Ethan. “Impeccable taste.”

  A new woman appears, introducing herself as Naomi. Blaire and Victor sit together in the other loveseat while Naomi opens the bottle and pours each of us a glass.

  “To Victor and Blaire and their engagement,” Ethan says, raising his glass.

  Everyone takes a sip. Unlike the fruity drinks I’ve grown to love, this is bitter with a hint of sweet, and I can taste the alcohol in it. I would prefer a fruity drink, but I don’t want to sound ungrateful, so I keep my comments to myself.

  “And to Nevaeh and her first time at a strip club,” Blaire adds with a giggle.

  Everyone takes another drink, so I forcefully swallow another gulp. When I set the drink down, having no desire to finish it, Ethan shakes his head and laughs.

  “What?”

  “You’re just so damn adorable. You prefer a blueberry martini over a bottle of Dom.”

  Because he’s not wrong, I just shrug and snuggle into his side. When Naomi walks over, Ethan, despite me telling him that’s not necessary, orders me my favorite drink.

  The music and lights lower, and then a new song starts up. The stage lights up and a beautiful raven-haired woman steps onto the stage. She’s wearing a gorgeous white leather outfit with matching heels. She makes eye contact with us, and her smile is as beautiful as she is. We watch quietly as she performs solely for us. I’ve never seen a woman dance erotically before, let alone strip while she’s doing it, so I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect. And I don’t think even in my wildest dreams I would’ve expected to feel… aroused. Turned on. But as I watch her slowly remove her clothes while dancing on stage, I find myself squirming in my seat. Her dancing isn’t just sexual, it’s sensual and intimate, and I can’t take my eyes off her. She’s nothing like what I imagined. She’s classy and obviously knows her way around the stage. She’s doing more than stripping, she’s performing.

  “If I pushed my fingers into you right now, would you be wet?” Ethan whispers into my ear. I tighten my thighs, seeking relief, and Ethan chuckles. “You would, wouldn’t you? You’re completely fucking turned on right now.”

  “Are you?” I ask, a bit too harshly. Being pleasured is new to me, but ever since Ethan gave me my first real orgasm, I find myself craving them—craving the release, the closeness.

  “Yeah, I am,” he admits, and my heart plummets into my stomach. I don’t know why I’m upset by his words. We’re at a strip club. Did I really expect him not to get turned on by the beautiful naked women? “But not by her,” he clarifies. “I can practically smell your arousal from here. Watching you watch her has me hard as fuck.”

  Ethan takes my hand and runs it over the top of his pants, showing me how hard he is. “I wonder how wet you would be if she came over here and danced for you.”

  My eyes widen in shock. “She does that?” I don’t know if the idea of her dancing for me scares me or turns me on. I glance back over at her and watch as she twirls around the pole, her voluptuous breasts on display. Her hands come up and rub across her nipples, hardening them, before she brings her attention back to the pole. Her toned thighs grip the metal and she does some sexy move, making her look more like a professional dancer than a stripper.

  “Is that what you want, Angel? You want her to come over here and dance just for you?”

  I swallow thickly, imagining her dancing close to me. Would she touch me? The thought sends a shiver down my spine. “Maybe,” I whisper.

  The show ends and the woman disappears behind the curtain. I notice for the first time my blueberry martini is here, so I take a large sip of it. Blaire and Victor and Ethan talk about the club and how Ethan has been friends with the owner, Benjamin, for years. When Naomi comes over to refill everyone’s drinks, Ethan says something to her I can’t hear. She nods and walks away.

  “I can’t believe you’re here, Nevaeh,” Blaire says. “Have you checked off any other items on your list?”

  “Ethan taught me how to play cards,” I tell her through a smile as I remember our time at the casino, in the surveillance room, where he gave me an earth-shattering orgasm.

  The thought must make me outwardly blush, because Blaire laughs and says, “I have a feeling that’s not the only thing he’s taught you.”

  Ethan laughs, and I blush harder.

  Before I can confirm or deny, a new song starts up and the lights dim down lower. I turn my attention to the stage, but quickly realize the dancer—Christy—isn’t on the stage, but standing right in front of me.

  She’s wearing black, lacy shorty-shorts and heels, and is topless, with glittery stars covering her nipples. She smiles at me, and I swallow thickly, wondering what Ethan has done.

  I don’t have to wait long to find out, though. Christy raises her arms and seductively sways her hips from side to side. Blaire giggles from her seat, while I watch her dance with rapt attention, my eyes never straying from her. I wonder why I’m so attracted to her. I’ve never felt a pull toward a woman before. But then I realize it’s not that I’m attracted to a woman per se. I’m attracted to how graceful and seductive she is. She drips sensuality and confidence. She’s a gorgeous woman who is comfortable in her own skin and I want that for myself. I want to be comfortable with my body, with my life, with myself.

  When she uses the arm of the love seat to support her and her legs straddle my own, I glance over at Ethan, who isn’t looking at the dancer, but at me. His eyes are blazing with want—for me—and I squirm in my seat, wanting him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.

  Ethan chuckles, then, turning my face to him, claims my mouth. His tongue slips through my parted lips, and I moan against his mouth. His hands cup the sides of my face, as he deepens the kiss. Forgetting about the woman dancing for me,
I focus all my attention on Ethan. And before I know what I’m doing, I’m scrambling into his lap, my legs straddling either side of him. My fingers thread into his hair as I kiss him passionately. My center rubs friction against the bulge in his pants, and we both groan into each other’s mouths at the same time. The dancer is long forgotten as Ethan breaks our kiss and, gripping my hips tightly, licks up my throat.

  “Hold on,” he growls, lifting me as he stands. I have no clue where he’s taking me, and I don’t pay attention. Instead I pepper kisses all over his stubbled jaw, nibble on his earlobe, and suckle on the side of his neck.

  He sets me down on a counter, and when I look around I realize we’re in the bathroom. It’s as beautiful and upscale as the rest of the club. Ethan pulls my pants and underwear down my thighs and spreads my legs as far as they can go. He licks up my center a couple times before he devours my pussy—eating me until I’m screaming his name as my climax racks my entire body.

  When I’ve come down from my high, I glance down at Ethan, whose eyes are glossed over with lust. “My turn,” I say, reaching for his dick. He laughs, but doesn’t stop me, as I jump off the counter and kneel in front of him, pleasuring him the same way he just pleasured me. When he’s ready to come, he warns me, but unlike last time, I don’t stop, instead taking everything he has to give. And my God, does he give…

  Once we’re both satiated, we clean up and head back out to the main area. Blaire gives me a knowing look, and my cheeks heat up, but thankfully, she doesn’t say or ask anything. I’m sure she’s saving it for our girls’ day, where she’ll be grilling me like crazy.

  After watching another couple dances and drinking a few more drinks, we say goodbye to Christy and Naomi, then head out. Blaire gives me a warm hug, making me promise, now that she knows where I am and who I’m with, not to keep her in the dark. With the promise to call her soon, we part ways, and Ethan and I head home.

  Home… the thought fills my chest with butterflies. What it would feel like to live with Ethan. To wake up next to him every morning. To sit at the table and drink coffee and have breakfast with him before we both leave for work. To come home at the end of the day and have dinner with him. To go to bed at night and make love to him.