Something (Full Murderhobo Book 1)

by Dakota Krout

  “Too many people? You have a population issue?” Taylor’s mind was whirling with data and ways to mitigate the situation. “I can offer you land, and the resources you want. All you need to do-”

  “Hush now, shush now, settle down,” The being told her, almost gently. “I am not given things. I take what I want. From how much you struggled against my cast-offs, my components, I know that your people will have no defense against my actual military force! We will sweep across this world and take it for The Twisted. It’s a small offering, but a welcome one. I’ll tell your Anarcanists that I thank them for providing a doorway, before I feast on their hearts to gain a few additional scraps of power.”

  “You aren’t working with them?” Andre pressed for information as Luke threw a rock at the Boss. The attack was caught in one hand, though there was a brief flare of surprise on its face. A glow had appeared over its hand just before the rock stopped, a clear indication that there were magical protections in place.

  “Pah.” The humanoid creature rolled its oddly square-pupiled eyes. “You were clearly not listening. We take what we want. We don’t ‘work with’. We dominate. We flood the world. We eat every scrap, and only when a world is an empty husk do we move on to the next.”

  Attacks came from every side. The bear attacked, the Druid scattered seeds, the Mage blasted, and Luke ran forward screaming wildly.

  It didn’t matter. The hooded creature blinked again and again, reappearing with the circles nearly ninety percent complete. Deceptively slowly, the spell circle completed and began to glow brightly. Zed screamed in fear, as they were directly in front of the spell. “Do something!”

  “He keeps moving! I can’t get close enough to kill him!” Luke’s anger was pure frustration; he wanted to punch that smug, goateed face!

  “I can’t hold him!” Andre admitted sadly as he watched the end coming. “Somehow, I can’t even get the smallest spore on him!”

  “What is this thing?” Taylor threw spell after spell at the circles, which shifted out of the way each time they got too close.

  “You wish to look upon the face of your death?” The boss laughed at them, treating their attacks like children throwing tantrums. “Certainly! I’d be more than happy to let you know who defeated you so easily.”

  His robe tore away, revealing thick, hairy legs with cloven hooves. Above the waist, he was pure human until the top of his head, where a pair of thick horns curled back and around. “Gaze upon me and despair! Gethedrel the Red Dread shall personally take your lives!”

  “Yup. Whole world full of ugly.” Zed catcalled one final insult.

  Gethedrel raised his hands and snarled. “Enough of this. Blood of the willing, wash over the world and bring its resources to me. All shall be collected. All shall be used in the service of the powerful. Until nothing remains! Spell of the ninth tier, activate!”

  The ninth circle flared, and completed.

  “Reduce, reuse, recycle!”

  Chapter Fifty

  “Not like this!” Zed screeched, his organs and skeleton able to be seen due to the approach of the intense red light shining toward them. An ocean of bloody illumination was expanding in a sphere; upward, side-to-side, and even digging through the ground as it moved. Only a second into activation, the spell was already moving as fast as a normal man could run… and gaining speed.

  “Everyone get behind me!” Andre stood tall, power flowing out of him and into the ground. With everything he could put into his abilities, he bound himself to the earth and threw a hill-sized rock directly into the light. It was broken to the smallest bits in an instant as the light touched it, but strangely enough his connection remained. He realized that the hill had been separated out, and everything that it had been composed of was separated into neat piles of ores, mulches, and stones. “This spell… all it does is tear apart, neatly stack, and store what it touches?”

  “We are mostly made of water, but that doesn’t mean I want to get turned into a pool!” Zed fell to the ground, all the fight having left him. A second, maybe less, until everything was gone.

  “Cleanse!” Taylor’s voice sounded, and the three males were pulled into a heap and tied together by their clothes. “Unsummon Arthur right now! This is already going to be too close!”

  “What?” Andre got out before he found Taylor laying across all of them, as spread-eagle as she could manage. The remainder of his words couldn’t be heard over the roar of the red flood and… something else.

  A klaxon call drowned out all other noise; the scream of strange butterflies that had appeared the instant before the red light touched them. The all-encompassing red light reached for them, then simply vanished as the butterflies spread further and seemed to eat a tunnel through the assault.

  “Three, four, five…” Taylor was counting, the panic in her voice rising with each passing second. Just after she said ‘eight’, the light was gone, flowing over them and into the distance as an unstoppable tsunami. The four began to fall, dropping a dozen feet as the ground beneath them vanished.

  “How?” The voice shook the air as they rose to their feet. Luke looked up, seeing an unending river of resources flowing out of the red light and forming into neatly stacked piles. Hills - more properly - at this point. Gethedrel was walking toward them, but he seemed exhausted and drained. “You should be dead. Your constituent parts should be impossible to determine at this point. How. How are you still here?”

  “A benefit of being so beautiful.” Zed’s voice was muffled, seeing as he was still under Andre. “You wouldn’t understand.”

  Flames boiled out of Gethedrel, only to be countered by an explosion of ice and water vapor, courtesy of Taylor. “Mongrels! I’ll eat your hearts!”

  Luke was tossed at the creature by a vine, and his left fist caused a brilliant light to shine around Gethedrel before it vanished. Luke was furious. “Stand still so I can kill you!”

  “No! For it is I who shall be doing the killing!” The wind began whipping, in this case, literally. Thin streams of solidified air began lashing out at Luke, causing his armor to light up with every attack. Not even bothering to continue paying attention to the Murderhobo, Gethedrel released more air. This sent all the spores that Andre had released flying back at him. Obviously, it wasn’t a danger, but it did still disappoint the Druid.

  The scene repeated over and over, only interspersed with the spells that Taylor was throwing at him. Something had to give eventually, and it turned out to be Luke’s armor first. With a sound of shattering glass, Luke’s cuirass shattered into motes of light. Angry red lines began appearing on his skin, and blood began to flow.

  “Ah, finally,” Gethedrel chuckled as the small tears of blood dripped from the whip-cuts. “I was wondering how much punishment you could take. Well… no need to hold back! Thank you for the meal!”

  Blood shot out of Luke in a fountain, and Gethedrel opened his mouth to taste the coppery blood. After a deep gulp, the chimera started laughing. “Such power in you! This taste…! How much Potentia have you gained in your short life? There must be the hopes of a million invested within you! It… it’s…”

  Gethedrel stumbled and Luke sank to his knees, the loss of blood taking a serious toll on him.

  Health: 110/250. Weakened: Blood loss. Damage output reduced by 30%! Bleeding (minor): -2 health per 5 seconds.

  I Have Concerns has taken effect! Someone was foolish enough to try a taste, huh? Initiating the unicorn-goring!

  “What is happening?” Gethedrel tried to vomit out the blood, but it stayed in him, as if it had a mind of its own. “So… so disgusting! Do you all taste like this? What is in your blood? You’re venomous?”

  “I’m poisonous. Venomous would be if I bit you.”

  “Pathetic creatures! How dare you!” A Shatter Shot took Gethedrel off his cloven hooves, but he blinked to another position mid-fall. Mana built up around him again, and his eyes were leaking bloody tears. “This is a potent venom-”

 
; “Poison!”

  “-but I’ve survived worse! I am done playing with you; it is time to start the invasion!”

  “Abyssal demon! Stand and fight!” Andre shouted as he attacked over and over again. It was useless; his attacks couldn’t land on the otherworldly beast. Arthur may have been fast enough, but the bear had been unsummoned just before it was hit by the red light. Andre had taken Taylor’s advice, not wanting to see what would happen if the summoned version of Arthur was pulled apart.

  “I can’t land another hit either,” Taylor admitted after her initial excitement about blasting the invader once had faded.

  “I could kill it if I could land just one clean hit,” Luke snarled, yanking open his waterskin and downing the last of his liquid mana. His wounds healed quickly, and his armor *snapped* back into place. “Tell me how to force a demon to hold still.”

  “What?” Zed did a double-take at Luke’s words. “That isn’t a demon.”

  “I don’t play guessing games, Zed. Andre called it a demon. Spit out the answer or shut it.” Luke’s growl emanated from deep in his chest.

  “That’s a Satyr.” Seeing Luke’s lack of understanding, Zed explained, “These creatures are all chimeras, yes? That one is well-known, a magic-focused cross between a human and a goat. A Satyr can-”

  Zed almost fell over as Luke Bum Rushed Gethedrel. The Satyr gathered a wash of mana into its hands, “This again? Enough! Die for your impertinence, you-”

  “Baaa!”

  Gethedrel froze in place, then took a slow step toward Luke before coming to his senses. “What was th-”

  Goat Call was super effective!

  Luke damages Gethedrel: 89 blunt damage!

  The mana shield around Gethedrel flared and shrieked. The Satyr himself blinked away, staring at Luke with a shaken expression. “How are you able-”

  Once more Luke was in front of him, but as Gethedrel tried to blink away, Luke activated Goat Call again. The Satyr froze for a split second, and another punch landed.

  Luke damages Gethedrel: 125 blunt damage!

  The mana shield shattered, and Gethedrel screamed as Luke’s mana-created horn dug deeply into his left eye. “No! No! I will not be defeated on this backwards plane!”

  His next blink brought him next to the Scar, and he dove through before anyone could react. Taylor watched as Luke followed closely on the Satyr’s hoofsteps, diving through only a moment after Gethedrel had made it in. “Everyone in! The time difference!”

  By the time the other three had joined Luke in this new plane of existence, both he and Gethedrel were bloodied and heaving for air. Gethedrel took another hit, landing heavily on the ground. A thin mana shield wavered into existence, shattering as Luke hit it, but taking all the damage. “You think you’ve won? Y-you’re right! I… I admit defeat. I’ll make any concession-”

  Critical hit! Luke damages Gethedrel: 433.21 blunt damage!

  Gethedrel’s head exploded, and the rest of his body flopped to the floor, a light bleating noise escaping his exposed trachea. Luke stood over the corpse for a long moment, his breath starting to slow after only thirty seconds. “I…”

  Potentia distributed based on participation! Andre: 1,500 Taylor: 2,600 Luke: 3,200 Zed: 700.

  Quest completed: Sending Monsters After Monsters (Repeatable). Return to the quest assigner for your rewards!

  “You did it!” Zed squealed at the Murderhobo. “Now we just need to find a way to close this Scar, and the reward will be massive!”

  “I don’t think we need to worry about that.” Taylor stated sadly, waving her hand behind her. The Scar had already snapped closed. Only the faintest distortion in the air remained to indicate the massive energy structure that had once stood there.

  “How? How did that-” Zed’s complaint was cut off when Andre kicked Gethedrel’s clenched right hand and revealed a shattered stone disk.

  “It was a trap - a failsafe - or a getaway attempt.” Andre sighed knowingly, knowing that they were abyssed. “Either we were lured here in the unlikely event that he died, so that his armies would eventually eat us, or… he never thought that we would be so quick to join in, and he was trying to escape by slamming the door behind him.”

  “I hate goats. They always have something planned.” Luke finished his thought. “What’s going on, now? Where are we?”

  “Before we fall into despair,” Taylor spoke pointedly at Zed, who had already dropped to the floor in a despairing fetal position, “we need to remember that we can hold out. We can work together and figure out a new way home. If the door exists-”

  Feet pounding on the earth began to shake the ground, and bestial roars suffused the area as uncountable millions of creatures realized that their master, their protection against the rest of this world, had been slain. There was sorrow in the howls, fear… and rage. They were coming. They would destroy the ones that had done this before they lost their lives to the hordes of the other pillars of this plane.

  “A-as I was saying,” Taylor’s pale face allowed her true emotions to seep through, but she powered on, “we may have saved not only the Hollow Kingdom, but our entire world! Even if no one knows our names, or remembers our stories, we can rest in peace knowing that… we…. Luke, what are you doing?”

  Power was gathering around Luke and accumulating on his fists. He lashed out, and the world reverberated.

  *Wub*.

  “Weak point right here. Can’t go to Murder World, but I can go back to ours. As much as I appreciate what you are saying, I’d like to live.” Luke was beating on the distortion in the air at an even pace over the course of the next few minutes, and with every blow, more and more mana came from somewhere to assist in opening the door between dimensions. “Just gotta tenderize it a little.”

  “You can’t just punch a hole back into our world!” Taylor tried to help Luke save face. “I don’t know what you are doing, but-”

  “Tier Eight: Open Up!” Luke shouted as he lashed forward one last time. A portal appeared, and they could see their world beyond it. Luke dove through right away, seeming to move in slow motion on the other side as soon as he crossed.

  “You!” Taylor froze in shock as Zed dove through as well, having gotten to his feet in record time. “You can’t use a Tier Eight spell in under three minutes! This is impossi - yipe!”

  “To be fair, he did tell us that he could punch it closed a few times. If he can do something that ridiculous, why couldn’t he punch it open?” A vine grabbed Taylor and tossed her through the portal, and a chuckling Andre followed after her, moments before the portal snapped closed and the area was overrun with monsters.

  Epilogue

  “That’s all for tonight, folks!” Zed called to the enraptured tavern audience. “Come back tomorrow if you-”

  “Boo!” someone called out, making Zed’s eye twitch. “That’s not what happened!”

  “Please explain where I was wrong.” Zed’s overly calm voice and dangerous tone was missed by the too-drunk barfly.

  “Everyone knows the Fields of Blood was the first real triumph of the Terraformer!” The words of the barfly caused a roar of agreement to sweep the area. “He became the youngest Druid of the Third Circle in history, and leveled the entire mountain range in the battle against the Dynasty of Dogs! The resources he carted back to the Hollow Kingdom are still the lifeblood of the country!”

  “All of that is true, except the claim that he was the one that transformed the mountains into plains.” Zed shook his head knowingly. “Next you are going to say that it was Taylor the Archmage who-”

  “Healed the Scars of the land?” Another person was influenced by the first. “Of course it was! Your story suggests that it was the Murderhobo that closed the Scars? Everyone knows that it was the structured magic of the Archmage that made closing Scars possible!”

  Zed stood slowly, and the rumbling crowd quieted, unknowingly swallowing back fear. “It doesn’t matter if you believe my tale. Know that I tell you the tr
uth, and not the propaganda that these false ‘Zed’ characters have been giving you. I’ll tell you now, creamy lies certainly spread easier upon the toast of life than the cold and chunky truth does. The true story is here if you want it. Otherwise, feel free to listen to a new take on an old tale… somewhere else.”

  “That’s another thing!” Someone snapped their fingers and pointed at Zed. “You’re too young to be Zed the Mindbender! If you were him, we’d believe you if we wanted to or not! That’s the truth, and we all know it!”

  “A True Bard is exactly the age you need him to be… to hear his story.” Zed snapped back, starting to get sick of this rabble. “I will be back for two more nights, but then I will pass on. Feel free to join in, or not.”

  Zed stepped outside of the tavern, and looked at the sky. “Looks like the rain finally let up. Should be clear for… just long enough.”

  He closed his eyes with a deep sigh, and rubbed the long beard that had not been on his face only moments ago. When he reopened them, crow’s feet and wrinkles showed for a bare moment; and the wisdom of ages appeared in deep-set eyes. All the changes were gone in an instant as he turned to face the young man that had followed him outside.

  “Mr. Mindbender, why did they laugh at you? I could… I could see the story.” The youngster swallowed deeply as Zed smiled at him. “Can you tell me why you are the ‘Mindbender’? You called your old team different names the whole night… I don’t understand.”

  “Ah, lad.” Zed shook his head. “That was a lifetime ago, and on the other side of the defeat of the Dynasty of Dogs. When there is no war, the people in charge of old monsters want them to go in a cage. There is no place for war heroes in a time of peace. Nowhere except old stories that can be used… the next time a war comes around.”

  “In fact, two nights should be just enough.” Zed got a faraway look in his eyes, and the young man next to him could have sworn he was hearing hasty warnings, snapped orders, and the marching of boots.