Tree Dungeon

by Andrew Karevik

  “I am thankful that you have come to speak with me,” I said. “And offer you these gifts.” A few goblins who had been lying around the tribute pile, waiting for my orders, were quick to scurry up to her, bearing small chests made of precious rubies and diamonds. This was the custom that Glym had taught her merchants to follow when meeting anyone of power and status. Using servants to bear the gifts was another custom she had taught, showing that I myself was one of power and status.

  “Oooh, for me!” her second mouth said with a squeal of delight. She clapped her hands together, her curly brown hair shaking back and forth as she grabbed the boxes and opened them. At the same time, as the second mouth was cheering and speaking praises for the gifts, the first mouth opened again.

  “You know my rites,” Glym said, her eyes never leaving the gems. “I am impressed. But tell me, World Tree, what is it that you wish from me?”

  “They all hate you!” the second mouth shouted cheerfully. “Well, Agara hates you and that means the rest will follow.”

  “Quiet, I’m speaking,” the first mouth chided. The second mouth sighed at that and drooped into a frown. Glym had two personalities within one body? Perhaps that was why her tenants were so conflicting with each other.

  “You must forgive the Merchant,” Glym said. “She speaks without couth or cunning. But you are not here to talk with the Merchant, are you?”

  “You are correct. I am here to speak with the Thief.”

  “I will not aid you in your quest for revenge,” Glym replied. She was still counting the gems, almost compulsively at this point. “It will not bring me profit.”

  “That is where you are wrong,” I said. “On both counts. I do not seek revenge. And you will profit greatly.”

  These words were enough to get Glym to glance up from her counting. “Go on…”

  “I have my own designs and desires, but I am weak,” I told her. “My power counts for nothing compared to any god. Even the Lesser Deities hold considerable sway over me, should they wish me ill. I wish to bolster my power. And I must have information to do so.”

  “Why tell me these things?” Glym asked. “You should know that I could simply go to Agara and tell her that you wish to steal scrolls most sacred.”

  I knew that Glym would have the power to read my thoughts. Most gods seemed to have that ability. It came with the divine territory. Calling her would be a risk, but at the same time, I knew there was no love between Glym and the Greater Five.

  “Why would you give up an opportunity to increase your power?” I asked. “Why benefit someone who is far richer than you?”

  Glym shrugged at that. “Perhaps I could be rewarded for my efforts in assisting the gods you wish to steal from.”

  “Is that who you are? Someone who does favors first in the hopes of payment later?” This was a core tenant of Glym. Never perform a service without payment.

  “Fine, fine,” Glym said. “You have done your research. You know that I will not willingly betray your secrets without a price, but you must know that I would have a price for aiding you.”

  “Speak it then,” I said.

  Glym glanced at me for a moment and tilted her head. “You are dead serious about your plan, aren’t you? You truly wish to protect yourself from the Greater Five?”

  “I am.”

  “Very well. If you wish my aid in the matter, then you must give me a place upon your branches. A realm where I may place the godspells I collect. You must not speak the name of this place to anyone and it must be sealed off from anyone. I fear Jepner has discovered my most recent hiding place and thus I must move it somewhere else.”

  “Done,” I said.

  “And furthermore, you must agree not to bring harm to Agara or the Greater Five. I will not aid in usurpation or war. Both are bad for business for me and my followers.”

  “I have no intentions of hurting anyone. I wish to protect myself,” I explained.

  “Then as long as you hold to these agreements, I will do as you wish. I shall collect a few of my own followers and send them to you,” Glym said.

  “You mean to supply me with the right people?”

  “What kind of goddess of Thieves would allow you to use random people you found in a dungeon? This team will be skilled enough to serve your will. You may order them about as long as we have our agreement.”

  There was an eagerness about Glym that made me somewhat nervous. It hadn’t taken much convincing to get her to aid me. I remembered what Gannix had said, about her being untrustworthy, and remembered her own principles about profit above all else. Was she being an opportunist here, who saw me as a potential ally for her own gain? Or was she planning on bringing harm to me? I had learned my lesson from the necromancer; I would not make the mistake of trusting just anyone again.

  “You are most kind in your offer, but I have my own people to recruit,” I told her. “I wish to use your power to enact a divine agreement of my own terms with them.”

  Glym scowled a little at those words. “You have no trust for me!”

  “No, I do not,” I told her. “You are a scoundrel and a thief. I would be unwise to trust you past what your power can provide me.”

  “I should leave then,” she replied. “You are not worthy of my presence.”

  “Then speak no more, Thief,” I said. “But does not the Merchant have the right to decide as well?”

  The second mouth was curved upward, smiling at my words. “What do you wish of me? What can I provide that the Thief cannot?”

  “I have agreed to the terms provided, but I do not wish for operators outside of my control. Will you honor our contract and provide me with an agreement?”

  “It seems a fair trade,” the Merchant persona replied, ignoring the Thief’s words of protest. “And it also seems to both my counterpart and I that you sniffed out her intent to betray. It’s a deal. On my word, I shall provide you an agreement with any party you wish, and speak not your plans to a soul, mortal or divine. And you shall give us a home for our godspells and refrain from bringing harm to Agara or her allies.”

  Chapter 35

  The team of thieves that I assembled was not quite made of volunteers. They were highly skilled and clever, but unable to escape a very special trap I had designed to lure them in. The trap would not hurt them, but rather preserve them in a small prison until I had gathered five total who met my standards. These rogues were clever enough, and quickly bonded with one another, coming up with a cunning escape plan to leave the cell. This was according to my own designs, of course.

  The only way to escape was with the aid of five separate people, all working on different mechanisms. Once they realized this, they proved to me that not only could they work together, but they could work quickly and discretely. Little did they realize that I was watching their every move. Once this team freed themselves from their cell and made their way into a room full of treasure, they lost all motivation to get out. Rather, they began talking amongst themselves of how they could store all of the gold and silver I had placed, before breaking free.

  It was at that time that I spoke to them directly. “You have passed my test, brave and cunning rogues,” I boomed, watching as they drew makeshift weapons, preparing to fight some threat. “You five are the most skilled and capable of thieves in all of the realm,” I told them. By realm, of course, I meant my dungeon, but it wouldn’t hurt to stroke their egos a bit. “And now, you have the opportunity of a lifetime. This pile of gold before you is paltry for the reward I have for those brave enough to accept my quest.”

  After I said those words, one of the false walls began to slide open, revealing a room full of even more gold; so full to the brim, in fact, that coins began to slide down as soon as there was space for them to get free. Another door opened up, displaying the outside world, a shortcut to leave me entirely. As I predicted and hoped, not a single foot inched towards the exit. Their greed was too great.

 
It did not take long to strike a bargain with these five. Most of them were professional thieves, members of different thieving organizations who did jobs similar to what I needed. The others were just thrilled at the chance to get a mission that paid enough to retire from the adventuring life for good. The reward, which was to be covered by the Orc Tribes, would be a million gold pieces per person. And in exchange, they would raid the Great Temples of Agara, the Mistmother and Eflora, to gain sacred scrolls.

  With word that Glym herself had blessed the raid, they grew more enthralled with the task. It was exceptionally rare for Glym to have any direct dealings with her followers, even the clerics and priests who served her. All five of the thieves followed after her and knew that if they were to fall in the process of the job, their souls would be safe from the wrath of other gods.

  The divine agreement was made, the oath they took which bid them to serve me until all sacred scrolls had been retrieved, and not to utter a word about this quest to any other soul, sealed them to service. I had picked the right people for the job, I knew it deep down.

  I had wondered if they had resented being captured first, but one lively thief, a young elf with a missing ear, told me that was exclusively how she found work. She was always captured or arrested, then the patron would learn of her exploits and offer her freedom in exchange for a job. The rest had all experienced something to that effect as well. Imprisonment, it seemed, turned out to be the norm for people like them.

  With the agreement met, the thieves properly equipped with any gear our storehouses or shopkeepers possessed, they headed out to the small country of Urlish where Agara’s Great Temple was located. I was pleased with my arrangements and would wait patiently for their return.

  I did not fear Agara would pick up on my plan. The one thing I knew about her well was arrogance. She had been so smug after hacking off my limb, that she earnestly believed she had put me in my place. Unless she was watching me directly and invading my thoughts to learn of this place, we would stay unnoticed. And, since I was a divine creature, I could sense her presence if she was trying to peer into my activities. Glym was the only deity who could hide their presence or grant that power to another god. It was fortunate she was on my side.

  Why use my own people instead of the Thief’s crew? Simply because I did not trust her. Ehdrid again considered my decision to be paranoid, but he had not come under such savage attack. He had not witnessed the cruelty and pettiness of the gods up close and personal. Perhaps the spirits he dealt with on a daily basis had less of an agenda, leading him to think the gods were the same. But I would not lend any kind of advantage to Glym. If she meant to betray me, I would know about it well in advance. For in the agreement that was made, they also swore to speak to me truthfully in any matter. If Glym was going to turn them against me, I could simply ask.

  There was little to do after their departure other than to wait. How long it would take them to return from their first venture was unknown. Fortunately, it was only a few days of idle waiting before another party I had sent out long ago returned. Immix and Zepher arrived in the early morning, limping, ragged and weary. Their clothes were torn, their faces exhausted and the boots they wore were thin.

  “I shall now lay about the earth and become as my father was, a worm,” Immix declared as he fell on the ground before my mouth’s opening. He was exhausted, but still gave some effort to writhe around on the ground, attempting to burrow his head into the dirt.

  “We return, Great Tree!” Zepher said. “And there is much to discuss.”

  “After we are fed,” Immix added.

  “Yeah,” Zepher mumbled, collapsing on the ground. “After we eat.”

  A party was dispatched to retrieve the two weary travelers, to wash, clothe and feed them. Healers were called to heal Immix of his many wounds. As I had suspected, he alone had been the one to take the brunt of the damage. Zepher had little other than a slight leg injury from all of the walking.

  When they were finally ready to share their story, I called for them to sit in Ehdrid’s reflection hut with the shaman present. He needed to be on the same page as I was about all of this. Zepher was the first to speak.

  “We did as you asked, World Tree,” she said, rubbing her exhausted eyes. “We traveled quite far, from city to city, looking into the strange eyes that had been watching me.”

  “And as you suspected,” Immix said. “They have been seen by others.”

  “A great many wizard or dream walker has reported meeting them in the Ethereal Mass,” Zepher continued. “Some of the wizards made the mistake of trying to interact with the pods but were quickly injured or outright killed.”

  “Tricksters from the other goblin tribes have all told me the same story,” Immix added. “Of how they came across such cruel things and managed to escape with their lives.”

  “Is this the only news that you bring back to us?” Ehdrid asked, sensing my own questions and speaking on my behalf. “That others have witnessed what you have?”

  Immix and Zepher looked at one another with a grimace. All of the joviality had been stripped away from the trickster bard and the gnome looked as if she had seen death in the face.

  “A cabal of mages, those who call themselves Followers of the Deep, who sought to find and preserve the ancient ways of magic, were investigating,” Zepher said, wringing her hands. “Our questions led us to their tower, where they welcomed us with open arms.

  “These wizards came to a conclusion. These creatures, these Invaders, are coming from another realm, another dimension. They are not arcane in nature, so they do not respond to communication magic, and they are not divine, so the gods’ magic cannot reach them.”

  “And in the name of their scientific study, the followers saw fit to take us on a cruel tour!” Immix said, hopping up. He waved his hands a little, allowing a small weave of magic to form an illusion of a creature. It was just like the beast I had seen before, except it was not just an eye. It was hideous and jagged, almost reptilian but with pustules of ooze sticking out of its arms and legs. The creature stood on two legs and was hunched over, with long sweeping hands moving about as if looking for food to grab hold of.

  “They trapped us in a maze with the creature,” Zepher explained. “They had managed to find one of the egg pods and break it open, freeing one of these beasts. It was rather stupid, unable to escape from the maze the wizards had hastily constructed. Our arrival was fortuitous, for these mages were looking for someone to throw to it, to test whether it was violent or not.”

  “And believe you me,” Immix said, pulling up his shirt and revealing a host of bluish scars. “Those things are violent. I told it my best joke, the one about the bartender and the termite, and rather than laugh and pay me a compliment, it struck at me.”

  “Mindless. Cruel. Unrelenting,” Zepher said, shivering. “But mortal.”

  “I saw fit to allow it to swallow me whole,” Immix explained. “To better get an understanding of it. I am thankful that I smear poison upon my cheeks each morning, for it did not like what it had eaten and died rather quickly.”

  “A simple poison killed it?” Ehdrid asked.

  “Not a simple poison at all!” Immix said, producing a jar and holding it up high. “But carefully extracted from the spikes present within this building. A lethal concoction created by a stupid tree!”

  I gazed upon the bottle that Immix was holding. Indeed, the poison had my own signature magical energy, a divine power that was designed to be exceptionally deadly to even the strongest of creatures. The act of harvesting such poisons was a foolish decision, even for Immix. A single pinprick would have killed him within seconds. These traps were designed to protect the goblin villages from adventurers trying to enter. This poison would have no mercy for anyone.

  “Once I climbed out, I thought to investigate it further,” Immix said, “but sadly, it got right up after a few moments of death.”

  “But now it wasn’
t alive…” Zepher said, shivering again. “The weird little bubbles on its body burst and something seemed to possess it. It tried to kill us again, without sound or noise this time.”

  “Yet it was blind and stupid! Which was of benefit for us, for we were only stupid!” Immix said. “I lured it into a trap of my own design, a small pit which it was unable to escape from.”

  “And how did the mages take your decision to fight back?” Ehdrid asked. “Are we to be expecting company soon?”

  “Oh nonsense!” Immix said with a chuckle. “They said we did well and wished to summon another creature to test us again! But it went terribly wrong and they opened a hole in the air. None of that cabal survived and I got a shiny new necklace!” He pointed to a glowing red amulet around his neck. “I know not what it does, but I like it.”

  “Their regular spells weren’t working on it,” Zepher said. “And the creatures were too stupid to find their way into the maze to eat us, so ironically we were the safest.”

  “Did you say creatures?” I asked at the same time Ehdrid did. This prompted Immix and Zepher to look at each other again.

  “Either the pods were close together when the fool wizards sought to crack the eggs open, or there are many in a single pod,” Immix said. “But they were hungry and cruel. The sorcerers and all within the tower died.”

  “We had to tunnel our way out by hand,” Zepher said. “Fortunately, I’m no stranger to digging. But that tower…it was well defended, and we didn’t see any of the creatures escape.”

  “So, we did what any self-respecting person would do,” Immix continued. “We went to town, purchased Alchemist Powder and blew the entire tower straight to one of the many hells!”

  “It was the best option,” Zepher said. “If those things got loose, I don’t know what they would have done to the nearby town.”

  “Then we both decided that working for a giant tree was stupid and headed back here to put in our walking papers, we quit!” Immix said, falling onto his back.