Once Upon an Earnest Nerd (Instalove in the City Book 2)
Page 10
She started to sit up, propping herself on her elbows. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head quickly, dismissing the logical portion of his brain that said this was not the plan. This wasn’t the way he’d meant to have this talk.
Screw plans.
He had a woman to woo.
Eleven
Yvette flashed a triumphant smile as Darren stalked toward her, his gaze dark and filled with longing.
When he stopped short at the end of the bed, that triumphant feeling faltered.
When he scooped up the silk robe that went with the nightie and tossed it over her, she basically wanted to curl up and die.
She slipped into the robe, hating the silence. She should have put on sexy music. At least then when he rejected her she wouldn’t have to put on a robe and shuffle back to her room in this painful silence.
She was just edging off the bed, unable to look up at him, when the bed sank beside her. “Where are you going?”
She glanced up, biting her lip to stop its trembling. Ugh. She really had to get a hold of her emotions. What was wrong with her lately?
His gaze was so warm and tender, it hurt to meet it directly. She looked back down. “I’ll go back to my room. Obviously, you’re not interested.”
His hand cupped her chin and tilted her face up so she couldn’t look away. “You are more beautiful than I can handle.” His voice was so low and solemn that she swallowed a lump in her throat.
“Yeah?”
He nodded. “Sarah, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And you were right.”
She blinked. “I was?”
He nodded. “I was playing games this week. I was pretending that I just wanted to be your friend–”
“I knew it!” Her gloat wasn’t exactly classy and his lips curved up at the corners.
“But—”
She winced. How had she known a ‘but’ was coming?
“I meant what I said about not wanting anything less than the real deal with you.”
“I don’t…I can’t…” Oh man. She’d forgotten how to string words together. This wasn’t going how she’d planned. Not at all.
She cinched her robe tighter, mortified and crushed and…
Hurting. She was hurting so freakin’ bad. Because she wanted this. She wanted him.
His gaze was flicking back and forth like he could read her every thought behind her eyes. “I have a new proposal.”
She blinked, her lips parting. “What’s that?”
“Let me woo you—”
“I—” She sat up straighter but he put a finger over her lips. “Just for the length of this trip. Let me try. Let me be the guy I want to be for you.”
Yikes. She couldn’t breathe. What was this tight feeling? Why did it feel like he was slowly but surely sticking a knife between her ribs?
His finger over her lips kept her from replying, and probably for the best. She had no idea what to say.
“You’ll get a timeframe,” he said. “It’s not forever. I’m not asking for forever.” He took a deep breath and his gaze seemed to crash into hers. “Not yet.”
She blinked and jerked her head out of his grip. “Not yet?” She tried to laugh and failed. “What does that mean?”
“It means…” He lifted the bag he’d been carrying and out spilled chocolates and flowers. “It means we’ll compromise. We won’t have the casual sex you’re suggesting and we won’t launch into some long-term commitment that I’m after.” His lips curved up on one side and she caught a wistful sigh at the sexy smirk. “And we won’t pretend this is just friendship…” He arched a brow. “Which neither of us wants.”
She pulled back and this time he let her go, watching as she scooted up on the bed so he wasn’t able to touch her or vice versa. She needed to think.
“Your plan is rubbish,” she muttered.
He grinned. No doubt because he knew she was still thinking it over.
It wasn’t her favorite idea, but… If he was willing to drop this whole ridiculous courtship and committment thing, then maybe she ought to be willing to meet in the middle.
After all, how much could it hurt to have a little romance in her life for a few days?
She stuck her hand out before she could overthink it. Because while the thought of a romance terrified her, the thought of watching Darren walk away from her tonight scared her more.
She hated that. But there it was.
He took her hand and shook it. “So…” He tilted his head to the side. “What does your ideal date night look like?”
She giggled. It was the kind of laugh she hadn’t heard come out of her own mouth since she was a teenager. Worse? She maybe sort of…blushed.
She ducked her head and shook it as she took in her scanty wardrobe. “I’m gonna go to my room to change.” She lifted her head to meet his gaze. “Meet me in the game room in twenty.”
A couple hours later, Yvette was doubled over with laughter.
“I think I’m improving,” Darren said.
She shook her head as tears streamed down. “You’re not. You’re definitely not.”
He set the cue stick down with a sigh. “It shouldn’t be this hard. It’s simple geometry.”
She leaned her hip against the pool table with a cocked eyebrow. “Want me to show you again?”
“No, thanks,” he murmured, a super sexy slow smile curving his lips. “I think you took advantage of me last time.”
She giggled helplessly. Really, he was too much fun to tease. “It’s not ‘taking advantage,’ I was just showing you the proper stance. And I can’t believe you fell for it. Guys have been using that trick since the beginning of time.”
He leaned in, so close she thought he might kiss her. He stopped just short. “You know the rules.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She made a show of rolling her eyes. “You’re no fun.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” He used that flat android voice again and she burst out laughing all over again.
“You know I’m teasing, right?” she asked. “You are surprisingly fun to hang out with. Even if you are a prude.”
“You say prude, I say romantic,” he said for the tenth time since they’d left his bedroom to have their first official date night.
A night that had so far included more chocolate than any one human should eat in one night, a long talk about everything and nothing as he watched her consume said chocolate with a goofy little smile that made her heart flutter, and then pool. Which he sucked at.
“So what would you like to do next on our date?” he asked.
Her heart did a funny lurch until she reminded herself that they had an agreement. He wasn’t expecting her to be his girlfriend once they returned to the real world.
The tenseness in her shoulders eased and she ignored his questioning look. It was getting so late and they were both exhausted, she really should say it was time to end their night. Instead, she said, “You choose next.”
He cracked his knuckles and made a show of stretching his arms over his head. “Finally. My time to shine.”
She watched as he headed toward the shelves stacked high with board games and… “Oh no,” she groaned.
He held up a chess board with a wicked grin. “Oh yes.”
Two days later, Darren paused at Sarah’s door, a tray full of pastries in hand since he hadn’t seen her at breakfast. Mainly he was steeling himself for the conversation to come. It was now or never. They’d shared the most amazing time of his life, but tonight was Christmas Eve. He needed to be with his family, and he wanted her with him. As his girlfriend.
Tomorrow was Christmas, which would again be with his family—and hopefully Sarah—and after that…
They’d be back. Back to reality. Their little deal would be over. So, yeah… He knocked before his nerves could get the best of him. It was now or never.
“Come in,” she called.
He walked in and…his jaw dropped. He definitely lo
st his ability to speak for a few moments there. Sarah had come out of the bathroom after taking a shower wrapped in a robe, with her wet hair falling around her shoulders and looking so beautiful his chest ached from it.
She took one look at his dumbstruck expression and grinned, tilting her head down to give him a saucy look from beneath her eyelashes. “Are you just going to stand there all night, or did you want something?”
“I-I—” Oh man, he was stammering.
Her wet hair looked dark against her pale skin and her blue eyes and pink lips looked even more startlingly clear in contrast.
She was gorgeous. Too good to be true, out of his league gorgeous.
She eyed the tray of food in his hand. “Are you here for another date?” The look of eager anticipation in her eyes was so sweet, he wanted to say ‘yes.’ A very big part of him wanted to blow off his plans with his family just to continue having fun with his Sarah.
He shook off that thought. “I brought you some brunch. And I would love to join you but—”
She arched a brow and he nearly caved. He took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to back down and he wouldn’t let himself be sidetracked. “But,” he said again, louder this time. “I’m afraid I have to go see my family.”
Her pout was instant and adorable. She gave a small sigh as she moved closer. “I suppose you did come all this way, and it is the holidays,” she conceded.
He loved how sad she sounded. Like, adored it in a weird way. Because if she was sad that meant she’d miss him, which meant maybe he stood a chance of having his way.
“I think you should come with me.”
She started, backing away from him like a spooked cat. “What? Why?” She spun around so he couldn’t see her face as she reached for a hairbrush on the vanity.
She shot him a small, wary smile over her shoulder. “I don’t think so. But thanks.”
Frustration had him clenching the tray a little too hard before setting it on the nightstand. “Why not?”
He saw her stiffen as she reached for a pile of clothes on a chair, but she didn’t answer. Which might be for the best, actually, because every time he’d managed to get some sort of response out of her regarding a potential future, she always answered with an irritatingly vague ‘we’ll see.’ That ‘we’ll see’ was typically paired with an even more frustrating little smile. One that was jaded and knowing and so freakin’ sad it made him want to punch something.
But she couldn’t say ‘we’ll see’ to this because it was immediate and real, not like a hypothetical date in the future.
Which was why she didn’t want to go. It meant actually being with him, in real life. It meant leaving this little lodge bubble they’d formed where there were no expectations other than fun and a couple of kisses.
He ran a hand over his face as he watched her brush her hair, her clothes pressed to her chest like a shield. The tense silence in the room grew with each passing second.
When he broke the silence, the tension shattered into splinters of anger and frustration that pierced the air between them. “Why won’t you come with me?”
She whirled around, her blue eyes sparking with fire. “Do you really expect me to meet your parents?”
Disgust laced her voice and he flinched. “Is that such a crazy thought?”
She was already shaking her head. “Yes. It’s nuts. Totally nuts.”
“Why?”
Her eyes widened and she stilled for the first time. “Because I’m not your girlfriend, Darren.”
The way she said his name sounded like a curse or a taunt. He found himself losing his cool, frustration rising to the surface. “Well, what if I want you to be, Sarah?”
He’d said her name in the same taunting tone but the moment it slipped out, he realized his mistake. She winced, jerking back as if he’d slapped her. He’d been thinking of her as Sarah from the moment he’d learned her real name. Not just Sarah, his Sarah. But he hadn’t called her by that name, as if deep down he’d known that it was too intimate, too personal.
But dang it, he loved her. How much more personal did it get?
“Don’t call me that,” she muttered.
“Why not?” He honestly wanted to know. Something told him there was a connection between her aversion to admitting her real name and her fear of her feelings for him.
She didn’t answer. Slipping into the bathroom, he heard her moving about, putting her clothes on, no doubt. Ignoring him as if he was disposable. Which, he supposed, in her mind he was.
He had no delusions about what had been going on here. He knew she’d seen their time together here at the lodge as finite. She hadn’t outright said so but with her vague responses regarding the future and her cryptic ‘we’ll see’ remarks, it was clear she didn’t expect this to last.
She was going to walk away from him. Brett’s comment came back to him and right now it made so much sense. She dated men who she expected nothing from so she wouldn’t get hurt. And with him, an unknown variable?
She walked away first.
Irritation and frustration made him want to slam his fists into a wall. But he held on to patience with everything he had. She needed him now more than ever, whether she wanted to admit it or not. The more she pushed him away, the more he was being tested.
Would he run?
Never.
Now if only he could get her to see that. That meant putting aside his pride, and his own fears, and laying it all on the line.
She came out of the bathroom clad in a cute red dress. A festive little elf, except for the fact that she looked miserable when he caught a glimpse of her reflection in the vanity mirror.
“Sarah, please look at me.”
He saw her shoulders stiffen at the use of the name but she turned around, looking for all the world like a wild animal that had been cornered. Her eyes were wide and panicked, her hands fiddling with her brush like she might wield it as a sword. She nibbled on her lower lip as she backed away from him.
He held back a sigh. This would not be easy. He shoved his hands in his pocket and forced himself to relax. He didn’t want to scare her. He didn’t want to make this harder for her than it already was. But all he could do was be honest and hope it got through to her.
“Do you know the first time I fell in love with you?”
Her eyes widened and she gasped in disbelief. So she didn’t want to hear the love word? Too bad. This was happening whether she wanted to admit it or not.
“I first fell in love with your artwork.” He cleared his throat. He’d never been much of a talker, least of all about emotions. “I saw the painting that Bryce bought and I fell in love.”
Her brows came down in confusion. But she was listening, and that was a start.
“Then I went to the gallery and,” he let out a rush of air, “Sarah, you are so freakin’ talented.”
He thought he saw her lips twitch up slightly at that. She still looked spooked, but art she could talk about.
“I entered the gallery and fell in love with the woman who could create that world. The woman who could see that in her mind’s eye.” He met her gaze. “I knew I had to meet that woman.”
She sucked her lips in and mashed them together.
“Your artwork was so beautiful, filled with such passion. It had this amazing dichotomy of vulnerability and strength.” He took one step forward and stopped when she stiffened again. “The second time I fell in love with you was when I met you at Bryce and Kat’s party and it was attraction at first sight.”
He grinned at the memory and was relieved to see a brief smile of recognition before she clearly remembered that she wasn’t supposed to be encouraging him.
He shook his head, focusing on the memory of that night rather than the heartbreaking sight before him of the woman he loved cowering in fear because she was too afraid to love him back. “You were so beautiful. Everything about you was stunning to me.”
Her skin grew flushed and he battled another grin. It was
a rare sight to see his Sarah blushing.
“You have this glow about you,” he continued. “This passion for life and a way of seeing the world…” He shook his head, at a loss for words. How could he describe what it felt like when he spotted the one who made his world come alive? “Meeting you face to face was like…was like…” He looked up at the ceiling for inspiration. “It was like when Dorothy arrives in Oz.”
She let out a choked laugh. “It’s like crushing a witch?” Her voice didn’t have her usual levity, but he was heartened by the fact that she was teasing at all. “Like meeting a bunch of midgets?”
He laughed. “Yes, that’s exactly what I meant.” Rolling his eyes, he stated the obvious. “When I met you, my life went from black-and-white to Technicolor. Everything around me came to life.” He met her gaze, trying to convey everything in his heart. “I came alive.”
The silence between them felt heavy. She didn’t speak. He hadn’t really expected she would, but still—it hurt. He carried on. This was about her hurt, not his. “The next time I fell in love with you was slower, it was deeper. It was more meaningful, in a way.”
She blinked at him and he took another step toward her until he was close enough that he could reach out to her. Or, more importantly, she could reach out to him.
“I fell in love with you as a friend,” he explained. “I got to talk to you and laugh with you and get to know what it felt like to be friends with this phenomenal, talented, spirited, amazing woman, who also happened to spark fires with her kisses.”
He’d hoped to make her smile again with that last part but her face was set in a look that was part confusion, part anger, part…he had no idea. She was giving him nothing here. No clue as to what she was thinking.
He let out the sigh he’d been holding in as he realized that there was nothing he could do, not right now, at least. He could only push her so hard. There’d be other opportunities to try and get through to her, but only if he managed to avoid scaring her away for good.
He turned away from her, slowly heading toward the door.