Shadow in the Desert (Shadow SEALs)

by Becca Jameson

  She cried out again, her hands fisting at her sides, her mouth open, head tipped back, eyes closed. She panted and squirmed as her body climbed back to full arousal.

  It was a sight to behold not two seconds after her first orgasm. So fucking gorgeous. She was going to hurt tomorrow from keeping her muscles so tight, but he knew there was no way to stop it. So much pent-up sexual frustration she hadn’t even known existed. All of it needed an outlet. Now. Tonight.

  He added a third finger and curled them around to drag them over the soft spongy tissue at the top of her channel. He pressed against it and dragged the tips of his fingers over it rapidly.

  Serena wasn’t on this planet anymore. She’d fully surrendered to her needs, gasping and panting and writhing as he drove her back to that crest again. He didn’t want his lips on her clit this time because he wanted to see her better from above, so he found her clit with his other hand, lightly pinching and pulling on the sensitive nub.

  She whimpered, the sound so musical. Her head rolled back and forth, fists still gripping at nothing at her sides.

  When he picked up the speed, stroking her G-spot faster and faster, she seized up again, her body rigid, her breath stopping seconds before the next orgasm took over and sent her flying into the stratosphere.

  Nothing in his life had ever been this humbling, this gratifying, this unbelievably perfect. This woman had him wrapped around her finger. He wanted to show her so many things. He wanted to be the one. Not someone else. Him. He wanted to make her unravel like this every day for the rest of his life.

  It wasn’t reasonable, but damn he wanted it.

  All he could do was pray he wasn’t making things worse for her. Ruining her for all other men, especially if the only men she intended to date were from her repressed church.

  He had no doubt her father and mother had done amazing work helping the people of Ethiopia. They’d undoubtedly saved lives and improved hundreds more. But some of their teachings were ancient and downright depressing.

  Ajax had no idea how many more times he might get to hold Serena like this and show her another side of life, but he would cherish every moment and make certain when they returned to the states, no matter what happened, she would know what it was like to feel intense pleasure and connection with another human being. She deserved it. Everyone did.

  Chapter 14

  Serena couldn’t catch her breath. She couldn’t see clearly either. Her vision was blurred, and her heart was racing. She closed her eyes again because he was right. She was embarrassed.

  Now that she was coming back into her mind, she was beyond aware that she was naked and he was looking at her. On top of that, he was fully clothed.

  She finally blinked her eyes open and panic set in. Irrational, but it happened.

  Ajax grabbed one of the blankets, pulled it over her body, and then sat on their pallet and lifted her into his lap. He wrapped the blanket around her naked flesh and held her tighter. “Shh.” He kissed her forehead. “You’re in shock. Take a deep breath.”

  She couldn’t pull in a full breath. Her lungs weren’t working. She was stiff in his lap, her hands crossed between her breasts, fisted.

  He leaned over and pulled a water bottle out of their pack, unscrewing the top and then tipping it to her lips. “Drink, baby.”

  She took a sip and then another, realizing she was very thirsty. She managed to drink half the bottle before he set it down. He didn’t say anything for a while, just held her and kissed her tenderly on the temple.

  “Holy cow,” she finally murmured because it was definitely on her to break the silence.

  He chuckled. “Yeah. I know I told you it would be great, but I’m pretty sure that blew the doors off any orgasm I’ve ever seen a woman have. Two of them really.”

  She shuddered, burrowing against him, not willing to meet his gaze. “I… I didn’t know.”

  “Now you do.”

  She turned more toward him and fisted his shirt. “And we didn’t even have sex.”

  He chuckled again. “Well, technically, most people would say that was sex. If it makes you feel better to pretend it wasn’t because I didn’t actually put my cock in you, then we can go with your definition.”

  She finally managed to smile. At least he was able to keep things light. She appreciated that.

  He tipped her face back, smiling back at her. “Welcome to the dark side,” he teased.

  She released his shirt to swat at him. “Don’t say that. I’ll have nightmares from breaking some sort of commandment about pleasures of the flesh.”

  He groaned, still grinning. “That is not in the bible. Stop it.”

  She took a deep breath and relaxed. “I think it’s the eleventh commandment.”

  “Well, it’s made up. Ditch it. God did not say women shalt not enjoy sex. If he had, like you said, the world wouldn’t be overpopulated.”

  “My church has done plenty to populate the planet,” she pointed out. Most of the families in her congregation had several kids.

  “And I would tell you that some of them are secretly having amazing sex because they really are attracted to each other. Others of them are missing out.”

  “Maybe.” She chewed on her bottom lip. Suddenly, she tipped her head back again, curiosity piquing. “Would it be better than that if you were naked and, you know…” She nodded toward his lap, unable to speak the words.

  He made her body shake every time he chuckled. “If I put my cock in you?”

  She rolled her eyes. “You enjoy saying that word over and over just to see me blush.”

  “Yes. I do,” he admitted. “And as for your question, depends. Some men, me included, make sure their woman reaches orgasm every time, preferably first. I find women are more satisfied if I thrust into them right as they come. It prolongs the orgasm. Might even drag out another.”

  She stared at him, another question forming. Since he was being so forthcoming... “How many women have you been with?”

  He winced. “You want numbers? I mean, enough to know what women like and enough to know how to get you where I just took you. Not so many that I’d be embarrassed to tell the average person.”

  “I’m not average though.”

  “Right.”

  “’K. Don’t tell me.” It wasn’t important.

  He blew out a breath, seemingly relieved to leave that topic. But then he continued. “It really isn’t about numbers, baby. It’s about practice. With enough time and determination, two people could figure all that out on their own even if they were both virgins.”

  “Mmm.” She didn’t think any amount of time or practice could have led to something like that with James. Lord knows, she’d tried. She’d had romantic ideas and thoughts. He’d done a find job squelching them to the point that she’d ended that relationship thinking maybe she wasn’t meant to enjoy sex. Maybe it wasn’t possible. Or maybe it wasn’t proper.

  The reality was that James hadn’t been open to enjoying sex, or at least he hadn’t been open to ensuring she enjoyed it. He’d been beyond ignorant, be that willfully or intentionally. She wasn’t sure which.

  “First of all, you need chemistry. If you don’t have a strong attraction to the other person, you’re never going to be comfortable enough to let your guard down and fully enjoy sex with them. You might be able to come from time to time, especially if you think about something that does turn you on while you’re with someone else.”

  She sucked in a breath. “Why would I want to do that?”

  He chuckled again. “Most people do that. Use their imagination to get to their pleasure. Nothing wrong with that.”

  “I guess.” Seemed like cheating.

  He stroked her bare arm, reminding her she was naked. “People can educate themselves too, Serena. Videos. Books. Everything you want to know is out there. Your previous relationship was the blind leading the blind. Neither of you had a clue what to do to please the other one. Probably not the desire either.”

/>   “Yeah.” She knew that was true. She simply hadn’t also realized it was even possible. She’d used her lack of interest in James as a blanket statement about her lack of sexuality. It hadn’t been because she wasn’t capable. It had been because she wasn’t with the right person and hadn’t been attracted to him.

  Ajax was right. Not for lack of effort on her part though. She’d been the one to instigate her limited sexual encounters with James. She’d wanted to know what it felt like. James had been like a deer in headlights, not fully on board with her suggestion. He hadn’t put forth any effort. He certainly hadn’t done anything like what Ajax had just done for her.

  She flinched again at another thought. “You didn’t…”

  “Told you I wasn’t going to. You’re not ready for that. Baby steps.”

  “Baby steps?” Her voice was shrill. “That was not baby steps.”

  He kissed her nose. “That was baby steps.”

  “We only left out one thing, and with your fingers touching me, inside me, I mean, I got the picture. I get it.”

  This time he laughed. “Baby, we left out so much more than one thing. There are so many ways I can make you writhe with pleasure we wouldn’t cover them all in six months. At least half of them would involve different sexual positions with my cock inside you. I just showed you the very tip of the iceberg.”

  She gasped. “Come on. You’re not serious.”

  He furrowed his brow. “Dead serious.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  He shocked her when he twisted around, flattened her to the pallet, and hovered over her. The blanket slid down, exposing her chest. He grabbed both her hands, threaded their fingers, and planted them above her head.

  She started breathing heavily, her body once again aroused. How was that possible?

  When he nudged her legs and planted his knee between hers, she felt even more open and vulnerable. His thigh rocked forward, pressing against her still-swollen sex, and she gasped loudly when he rocked against that tiny bundle of nerves that was obviously the epicenter of what all the fuss was about.

  While he stared at her, the intensity unnerving, she had another thought. She could do that to herself. Touch her clitoris. Rub it with her own hand. Masturbate. She could have done that all along. If only she hadn’t been shamed into thinking that was wrong and dirty.

  Doubt crept in about everything she’d ever been taught. Ajax made sense. Men got to orgasm every time. Why shouldn’t women? Who decided females shouldn’t experience every ounce of the pleasure men experienced?

  He pressed his thigh against her again. This time she arched into him. It was like she couldn’t control herself. Every time he touched her intimately, she turned into a pile of mush.

  He groaned. “God, I want to show you everything.” His voice was soft and sad, as if he didn’t think he would get the chance.

  She tried to focus on him, but he kept tormenting her sensitive nerve endings. He made it hard to think. He was probably right. They had this time together. A few nights at most. And then what? They led very different lives.

  She would go back to her apartment in her hometown, work for Charley saving people who had been wronged, and—

  Would she keep going to her church? She had to. Her mother would freak out if she stopped attending. She would return to the life she’d always lived because that’s what was expected of her.

  It felt like she had a foot in two worlds, and she suspected Ajax felt the same. On the one hand, they had this magnetic attraction that demanded attention and would not be abated. In that world, they would figure out a way to stay together back in the States. Continue this exploration. See if it could grow into more.

  But that was an alternate universe. In the real world, she had obligations and family who would never support her entering into a relationship with Ajax. He wouldn’t live up to her mother’s standards. He might be able to sweet-talk her mother into liking him if he weren’t in a relationship with Serena, but if Serena brought him home as her boyfriend? Ha. Her mother would have a heart attack.

  Ajax couldn’t possibly understand any of that reality, but on some level—she could tell by the look in his eyes—he did understand that this was a whirlwind experience that would end as soon as this mission was over.

  When he rocked against her again, he cupped her face. “You’re so damn sexy,” he whispered. “So responsive. There’s so much to unlock. I want you to have the world. Promise me no matter what happens, you will never settle for less than everything. You deserve a lifetime of pleasure and happiness.”

  “Ajax…” She was too choked up to respond. She realized it was more than just the fact that they came from two different worlds. It wasn’t simply that he didn’t think he could fit into hers. He wasn’t sure he would live through this mission.

  Suddenly, it felt imperative to take this further. Time was of the essence. She wanted him in all ways. If there was even the slightest chance something might happen to him before the end of the week, she didn’t want to look back and wish he’d claimed her completely.

  She wanted him inside her. She wanted to know all the things he said she was missing. “Show me,” she begged, lifting her hips up to rub against him intentionally.

  She grabbed at his shirt, trying to pull it over his head. She wanted him naked, his flesh against hers. Desperation drove her.

  He let her pull his shirt off, but when she frantically explored his chest and abs and back and then reached for his pants, he grabbed one of her wrists and stopped her, bringing it to his lips. He kissed her knuckles. “Hey. What’s up? Slow down. What went through your head just now?”

  She swallowed. “You said there’s more. I want to know all of it. Show me. Do it.”

  He frowned. “Not all in one night, baby.”

  “Why not? You have somewhere else to be?”

  His brow furrowed further as he tried to understand her urgency. She’d rather not discuss it, just do it. “I’m right where I want to be, holding the sweetest woman I’ve ever had in my arms. I’m beyond content that she gifted me with two fucking amazing orgasms.”

  “You say that like I gave them to you. I did not reciprocate. It’s my turn.”

  He smiled and shook his head, gripping her hand and holding it between them. “Not tonight. There’s no rush. I’ve overloaded your brain for one day. You practically went into shock.”

  She shook her head. “I’m over it. Make love to me.”

  “No.” He kissed her gently. “Not tonight. Feel free to explain this frantic panic though.”

  A tear fell. Totally irrational and unbidden. Suddenly, it all felt overwhelming. The two of them together in freaking Ethiopia, traveling across the country under the radar to rescue two of his SEAL team members.

  She wasn’t a SEAL. She was a regular citizen. And she was falling for this amazing man who had captivated her from the moment she’d seen him and kept dragging her deeper and deeper into his life.

  She wanted to stay up all night, have sex five times, talk about everything. She wanted to know every detail about him. What were his favorite foods? Music? Movies? What did he like on his pizza?

  What if he died and she didn’t know what he liked on his pizza?

  “Serena? You’re scaring me.”

  She shoved him off her—which he permitted—and turned the tables, flattening him to his back, coming over him, straddling him. She didn’t even care that she was naked. Well, sort of. She ignored it.

  She’d meant to force him to look at her while she asked him all the things. When she planted her palms on his pecs, she leaned forward, but then she gasped because goodness mercy it felt good to rub against his erection even through the jeans.

  Her eyes rolled back and her mouth fell open.

  Ajax’s hands came to her waist and slid up to cup her breasts. “Serena…” His voice was soft and deep. Filled with lust.

  She couldn’t stop, and he didn’t force her. She didn’t have the guts to try to u
ndo his pants again because she would feel humiliated if he stopped her, but she let herself feel the rising arousal.

  She wasn’t stupid. She was masturbating against him. Taking her own pleasure. She’d never done anything like this, and she didn’t care right now. It felt so darn good.

  Ajax slid his hands down to her hips and then one of them smoothed around until he could reach between them, his fingers against her warmth instead of his jeans.

  She blinked at him, whimpering. She wasn’t opposed to begging now. “Please. Ajax. Let me—”

  He lifted her hip with one hand and slid his fingers through her folds with the other. “Let me do it, baby. You’ll rub yourself raw on my jeans. I don’t want you wincing with discomfort tomorrow.”

  She swallowed and nodded. She hadn’t thought of that. “You could take them off,” she managed to say.

  “Not tonight.” He thrust two fingers into her and found her clitoris at the same time with his thumb.

  Her legs started shaking, but she managed to remain aloft, using her knees to hold her up along with her hands on his chest. She tried to watch his face. His gaze roamed all over her.

  Her breasts felt heavy swaying above him, but the way he watched them was heady and sexy. It drove her wild. She started bucking up and down on his fingers, riding him like she imagined she would ride his length if he would let her.

  It was naughty and unnerving, but she ignored that part because it was also freeing and liberating and it felt so good.

  “That’s it, baby. You’re so damn amazing. Come on my hand, Serena.”

  She stiffened at his command, arching her back, tossing her head back, and following his demand. Her third orgasm of the evening and of her life washed through her entire body, making her shake from the intensity.

  All the while, he continued to thrust his fingers in and out of her, though he seemed to know exactly when to stop touching her clitoris because his thumb disappeared the precise moment it got too sensitive.