Convenient Women Collection

by Delphine Woods

  I curled up in all that sand grass, not caring for the bugs what might bite me or the night’s cold what were making me shiver already, and I gazed out at the sky until my eyelids could not hold themselves up. When they fell, they stung as if they’d been scorched.

  A murderer I would be. Bonnie had lost the chance to save herself; I would make her suffer twice over for how she’d lied to me. I would die the way my own pa had, and people could say it were his bad blood what ran through my veins if they so wished; I would go to the rope knowing justice had been done.

  Seagulls woke me. The sky were just beginning to lighten, though there was clouds in it now, and the birds circled in the air shrieking at each other. I were as stiff as a plank, and the cold had fair on gone into my bones. My dress had that damp feeling to it what made my skin crawl as I struggled to sit up straight, and my joints creaked with every movement. There was shards of sleep and bits of grit in my eyes what I dug out with my fingernails, and I noticed the scent on my hands: the saltiness of the beach and the zing of the grasses.

  My brain hurt. It had been dancing all night long with nightmares and memories and things what might happen. In the fog of all that pain, I knew there were only one thing I needed to do and that were get to Bonnie.

  It took me a long time to walk back to the road. My legs would only go so fast no matter how much I wanted them to hurry. Eventually, I made it and said good morning to the cat on my way inside. It were licking blood off itself and there were a flurry of brown feathers floating in the breeze and lying on the grass by the hedgerow. The cat were looking real proud of itself. I winked at him.

  In the inn, there were no one about. The table nearest the fireplace had dirty plates with bits of bread crusts on them and two wine glasses what was stained with drops of red. I did my best to tiptoe up the stairs and heard the landlord’s snores, loud as a pig’s, and then peeked into Bonnie’s room. The curtains was open, the bed were made, and there were a silver trinket lying on her pillow. Bonnie were nowhere to be seen.

  I ran downstairs, not caring for the noise I made. To warm me (for I’d be too slow if I had nothing in my belly), I gulped from a bottle of gin. It made me woozy for a moment so that I had to grip on to the bar to steady myself, but I were fine in a matter of seconds. I snatched the stale bread crusts off the plates, pushed them in my mouth, and set off on the road.

  A coach came up behind me before I’d walked a hundred yards and God, were I glad for it. I fell inside that carriage as if I’d been running to Scotland and back and rested my face against the window so I could see our journey. I were sick with tiredness, but there were something inside me, like a bee had got into my guts, what were making me jumpy. My eyes was wide as I looked out for Bonnie. My face kept itching as if there were a cobweb over my flesh. My foot would not stop tapping itself.

  And then the coach were slowing down, and I heard a woman’s voice and the uneven sound of her steps on the road. The door opened and there were Bonnie, looking as if death had just caught up with her.

  Bonnie got off a mile or so before Ulstone, saying it would be better for us not to be seen together. She were in a foul mood and so were I, but I thought I might as well not argue. She had a point, I admitted begrudgingly; it would be better if I weren’t seen with a woman what might turn up dead in a day or two. I guessed she were thinking the same about me.

  We went through a charade of prancing about like robbers, hiding behind trees and bushes as we crept to Frank’s cottage. I were expecting him to be where I’d last left him, lying in bed and drinking away the morning, but the place were empty. And tidier than last time I’d been there – no clothes on the floor and no dirty cups what needed washing. It were cold compared to outside with no fires going, and in my shock, I just stood there as Bonnie said she’d check the smithy. While she were gone, I checked the house.

  Some of his things was still there, as it turned out, like a jacket under the bed and some food in the cupboards, but the place were emptier than when I’d last been there. When I tried to open the chest to check the gold and silver, it were locked. I peeked through the keyhole, but it were too dark to see anything. I gave it a nudge with my shoe and it moved; it wouldn’t have budged an inch if it had been full.

  Maybe I were being set up after all. Maybe Frank had gone with the treasure, and now Bonnie would finish me off herself. She’d led me here because it would be easy to murder in a house so out of the way where nobody would hear me put up a fight. No one could trace her to Ulstone either. Maybe she’d dump me in a roadside ditch and leave my body to rot, and I’d get passed off as some mad girl what had drunk herself to death. Then she’d join Frank at the docks, and they’d sail away together, chuckling over how clever they’d been.

  I had to take a seat in case I fell down.

  ‘Not there,’ she said, as she came back from the smithy.

  ‘Where is he, Bonnie?’

  ‘I don’t know. He’s gone. None of his things are here.’

  ‘What’s in the chest?’ I wanted her to open it, but she were too smart and claimed ignorance.

  ‘I think it must have come with the house,’ she said. ‘Probably something to do with the landlord.’

  Silence. I didn’t know what to say. I just sat there, dazed. All this time had passed, all this tension had built. I’d been waiting so long, and now I didn’t know what to do.

  ‘Fetch that firewood from outside, and we’ll make some tea, shall we?’

  I did as she said and set about stoking up the range while she found the tea and then went to get some water from the well. As she came back and set the kettle over the heat, I watched her go about her tasks and thought how lovely she looked in that cramped kitchen, like a flower in a patch of dirt.

  I’d been a fool.

  ‘Maybe he does,’ I said, and I said it out loud though I hadn’t meant to. Maybe he does love her were what I were thinking, but I managed to clasp my hands over my mouth before all of it escaped my lips. ‘Where is he, Bonnie?’

  ‘I already said, I don’t know.’

  ‘You sent him a note.’

  She laughed as she poured the tea. ‘I did not.’

  ‘You sent the landlord with it yesterday. I know you did. Did you tell Frank to go? Did you tell him we was close?’

  ‘You are being ridiculous.’ I knew by the flush of her cheeks I were right.

  ‘Why is he not here?’ I think my fist hit the table. I were so confused, see. I thought I’d had it all planned out. I thought I’d get to Frank’s and find him there with promises of love on his lips for me and a knife in his hand for Bonnie. But now everything were going wrong. I were losing my chance at revenge. I were losing it all. I had to get out of there. ‘Maybe he’s drinking.’ I made for the door because there were this fear building in me that I were trapped and would never know fresh air again.

  As I ran past Bonnie, something made a terrible ripping sound, and I looked down to find her with a fistful of my dress – Ma’s dress. She’d torn it so that there were a gaping hole at my hip. My ma’s dress, ruined. Like Bonnie always ruined everything.

  ‘What’ve you done?’

  She stood in front of the door, barring my way. ‘You cannot go out like that now; they will think you mad.’

  I surely were mad. I felt my body go hot, as if it were a match what had been struck, and I slammed her into that door and dug my hands into her soft flesh and squeezed until it felt like she might pop. God, how she trembled beneath me!

  ‘You will go to the inn, and you will bring him here.’ I gave her another shove, then tore my hands off her before they went for her throat. She ran away from me, and when her footsteps had faded in the distance, I punched that door with such force that the skin over one of my knuckles split.

  But I hadn’t the time to wallow. I grabbed my things and scarpered out of there before I understood what it was they’d been planning for me.

  I ran out of the kitchen door and crashed straight into Frank.<
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  It were like hitting a wall, and I fell back. He reached out to catch me, and I let out a scream because by now I were convinced that he were on Bonnie’s side. He pushed his finger to my lips and pulled me into his chest. I couldn’t move for fear, but then he kissed my head and stroked my cheek.

  ‘You’re all right,’ he said as if he were speaking to a child what’d grazed their knee. ‘Didn’t mean to scare you.’ He said it in whispers.

  I turned on him. ‘Where in God’s name have you been?’

  He found my anger amusing and folded his arms as if he were enjoying the spectacle I were making.

  ‘We’ve been here getting on an hour now.’

  ‘No you haven’t. I saw you come.’

  ‘What? You’ve been watching?’

  ‘’Course I have. Wanted to see what you’d do.’

  He thought it were all a joke! That grin on his face were getting wider as I glowered at him. Did life matter so little to him that he thought this were all just some game?

  ‘She thinks you’ve gone.’

  ‘I know. She sent me a note telling me to leave the house.’

  ‘Why?’

  He shrugged. ‘Lost her nerve, I suppose. Doesn’t want to kill you.’ He chuckled, then stopped. ‘You haven’t lost yours, have you?’

  ‘No,’ I said, shaking the doubts out of my head. ‘No, I just thought maybe you had gone. That you did …’

  ‘That I did what?’

  I swallowed. ‘Love her.’

  That really made him laugh! He had to wipe the tears out his eyes. ‘Go on and get inside. She’ll be back before long.’

  I did as he said because I were losing all ability to think clearly by that point. I sat on one of the chairs in the front room because it were darker in there and didn’t hurt my head so much. He came in after a minute holding a hammer, tossing it from one hand to the other and smirking at me.

  ‘What’s that for?’ I said.

  ‘What do you think?’

  I just stared at him for a moment. ‘You can’t.’

  ‘Why not?’

  He were seriously thinking of battering Bonnie to death!

  ‘No. No, I won’t let you.’

  ‘Dead’s dead, Lu.’

  ‘I want to do it! I want to kill her. It’s my revenge, Frank. It’s up to me!’ My voice had gone all high and loud, and I were finding it hard to get my breath.

  He held the hammer up. ‘All right, just calm down.’

  ‘She’s mine,’ I said.

  ‘Fine. I thought I’d spare you the trouble –’

  The door opened.

  Both of us froze. We didn’t breathe. We just stared towards the kitchen and listened to Bonnie’s heels on the tiles.

  She came running at him and kissed him and told him I were a friend of hers from Stowmouth. Frank went along with it all as if it were a show and he were an actor. I couldn’t play my part quite so well, but I did sigh with relief when he dropped that hammer and winked at me.

  After a moment, she took him outside. I couldn’t hear what they was saying and didn’t want to neither, but when they came back in and Bonnie asked if I wanted tea, I could hear the glitch in her voice, the tremor of it, and knew she were scared.

  Frank put her case in the bedroom as I pulled myself to my feet. As he passed me by the door he tried to catch my hand, but I moved around him before he managed it.

  Bonnie were cleaning off the table and having a bit of a tidy, but I saw the shaking of her hands as she did so and wondered what exactly had passed between her and Frank outside. She were not the same in his presence; she seemed smaller, less sure of herself. She started to hum as I set my own bag on the table, and the sound of it brought me up short.

  ‘What is that tune?’ I said, because I couldn’t think of the name of it; my mind were filled with my ma holding me tight and rocking me in her arms as sunlight made her hair look like she were an angel.

  ‘Just something my mother used to sing.’

  ‘Mine too.’

  When I looked at Bonnie again, her eyes was wet.

  ‘Do you know the words?’ she said.

  I started to sing them, surprised at how strong my memories was, and my voice quivered as I tried to stop myself from crying. Bonnie spoke over me before I lost myself completely. ‘Time for tea.’

  I swallowed my tears down as she poured the drinks. Now were the time I had been waiting for …

  ‘Where’s your flask?’ I said.

  ‘In my case.’

  ‘Go and get it then.’

  She did as I said. I had a matter of seconds, but I were ready. I took the cup what she’d drunk from before and tipped half of the tea down the sink. I opened my bag and snatched my own flask out, and then I poured what were inside it into her cup, right to the top. The flask were in my bag, and my bag were shut again before she returned.

  ‘This is yours.’ I slid her cup towards her. She didn’t look at it twice. ‘Which one for Frank?’

  She pointed at one of the almost identical cups – the one which had a tiny chip on the handle, invisible to anyone what hadn’t looked so hard at it – and into that, I poured the fly-paper water from her flask. I sniffed it, just to make sure it had no smell.

  ‘Half a cup won’t be enough,’ she said. She were biting her lip again. ‘He’d need all of it to kill him.’

  ‘Then we’ll make another pot after this one.’ I put more water into the kettle and set it over the heat.

  ‘I best give it to him. He’ll think it strange if you serve him.’

  I turned towards her and saw her smiling at me – that terrible smile of hers – with two cups in her hands. There were one cup left on the table for me. She watched me take it, and still she smiled.

  The cup with the chipped handle.

  You know how it went from there. Frank wound both of us up, and Bonnie drank all of her tea without suspecting a thing.

  It didn’t take as long as I were expecting. Grandma didn’t drop off for almost an hour when she took her medicine, but I supposed that were because Grandma were used to it. Bonnie were gone in a matter of minutes, but for all them minutes as she sipped, I don’t think I took in a single breath. My eyes was fixed on her as she went drowsier and drowsier and slumped further into her chair, and when the cup fell out her hand and smashed, by God, my heart did pound!

  Frank and me just stared at her for a while, seeing if she’d start up again. She didn’t.

  ‘Is she dead?’ Frank said and gave her a prod with his finger.

  ‘Sleeping.’ I could just see the slight rise and fall of her chest as her chin rested on it.

  ‘Best do it quick. How will you …’

  ‘You have some rope?’

  He faltered for a moment. Really, he were paling at the thought of strangling her, when he’d happily have hammered the life out of her! He looked away from Bonnie as if he suddenly had a conscience. ‘What a business.’ He shook his head.

  ‘Did you think I were playing, Frank? Did you think this were all a game?’

  ‘No. No, it’s just’ – he nodded at Bonnie’s still body – ‘I don’t know. We’ve known each other a long time.’

  I could have struck him. All that pomp and bluster, and now he were getting scared.

  He went to sip his tea.

  ‘Don’t.’

  He stopped, the cup an inch from his lips, and raised his brows at me.

  ‘It’s poisoned.’

  He stared at the tea in horror. ‘Christ, Lu! I’ve already had some!’

  ‘It’s fine.’ I put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. ‘A sip won’t do anything to a man like you.’ I took the cup from him and chucked the tea on to the ashes. ‘Here, have mine instead.’

  I rubbed his back as he took it from me and drank. He drank it all.

  ‘Thirsty business,’ he said, with a nervous laugh.

  ‘Another cup?’

  He nodded. Both of us had our faces turned from Bonnie.

/>   ‘Move her on to the bed and go and fetch that rope.’ I kissed him on the forehead. ‘I’ll make you some more tea.’

  Chapter 13

  The rope lay twisted on the table. A good thick rope, one I could wrap my hands round and get a good grip on.

  But do you think I could move? I sat there on that bench as Frank paced around me, taking gulps of his third cup of tea as the minutes turned into hours and the afternoon ran on.

  ‘I don’t like this, Lu. What’s all this waiting around for? Turning my insides up.’

  I could hear his stomach over his footsteps. It were tumbling, and there were a shine on his forehead what were getting worse by the minute.

  ‘I won’t kill her in the daylight.’

  ‘Christ! We’ll be here hours.’

  ‘You got somewhere to be?’

  ‘Yes. We’ve got somewhere to be, remember? The docks. The boat!’ He were getting all bitter and agitated. ‘We’ve got to get her to the woods, too.’

  ‘The woods?’

  He sat beside me and put a fist through his hair. ‘What else do you think we’d do with the body?’

  ‘Why the woods?’

  ‘We take her in deep enough and no one’ll find her for weeks, if ever. And if they do, it’ll just look like an attack, some man had his way with her. That’s if the animals don’t get her.’

  I frowned at my hands on the rope. Nothing he said made sense.

  ‘We discussed this before. We can’t leave her here in my house, can we?’

  I shook my head to please him, to shut him up.

  He drank his tea, and his hand were quaking as he did so. He slammed the cup on the table. ‘I need something stronger.’

  There were a half-empty bottle of rum he found in one of the cupboards, and he gulped that down without offering any of it to me.

  ‘You didn’t tell me you was married.’