To Teach A Gentleman
Page 20
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Christopher smiled at Marianne as she handed him a glass of tea. It was nice having her here again. When she was around, it made him feel like his mother was alive. He didn’t have too many memories of his mother, but they’d all been pleasant.
“I do wish you would have written to me with some warning before you decided to rush off to London to find a bride.” Marianne cast him a disappointed glance.
Letting out a sigh, he sat back, grateful Genny wasn’t here to listen to this. “I don’t know why you would have believed I would have done such a thing.”
She clicked her tongue. “My dear boy, now that Leslie is gone, you are my only child. There are several qualified, young ladies I would have been pleased to see as your wife.”
“That may be so, however, my choice was made. And, I daresay it was the correct one.” He used a tone that invited no argument.
“Of course you did. Lady Andel seems lovely, and I shall enjoy getting to know her. She appears to be receptive to the idea of my help.”
Remembering Genny’s eagerness, he smiled. Marianne meant a great deal to him and the fact that Genny acknowledged such made him love her more. He was so far gone at this point, he feared there would be no going back. He needed to get a handle on himself.
“I suspect you won’t have any trouble from her. The countess is an agreeable sort and rather obedient.”
With a laughter that rocked her body, Marianne, clutched her chest. “I suppose after one strong-willed wife, you were set for life.”
“You’re right that Leslie was quite particular about some things. And, very determined.”
“She was also very set on marrying you from about the age of twelve. She loved you so dearly, just as you did her.” Marianne sobered up. “That being said, I know what you are trying to do, and although I applaud your efforts, I wouldn’t be a very good mother if I didn’t caution you.”
“Caution me? About what?” He leaned forward and set his teacup down.
She let out a heavy breath. “What you shared with my daughter took years to develop and create. It’s not something you can reestablish easy with another woman. Trying to mold the countess into your idea of the perfect wife and recreate the perfect relationship you had with Leslie might not be the best option.”
Not liking this discussion when Marianne knew nothing of his situation with Genny, he straightened his back. “I’m not trying to change my wife. My goal is to help our marriage transition to a comfortable pattern.”
“I understand, but Christopher, you’ve just wed. Give it time. The poor girl needs to accustom herself to this adjustment. She’s moved from her parent’s house into yours and was also forced to leave London. Did you not consider what she could be going through?”
“I have taken care to consider her every thought as much as I can. However, I also must make the decisions that are right for me and this household.”
She patted his knee. “Of course you are. Now, I don’t want you to worry over your wife any longer. I am here to take care of her. With her own mother so far away, I’m certain she needs me more than ever.”
Suspicion clawed at him. He hadn’t thought about what Marianne had intended to do with Genny. “What exactly do you have planned for her?”
As she stood, she shook her head. “A woman never reveals her secrets. All you need to know is that if you are experiencing difficulty or know that she is, let me know. I’ll take care of it. Now, if you will excuse me, I believe it is time for me to begin by talking to the countess and determining what her expectations are of me.”
Later that night as he fell against the mattress beside his wife, his body exhausted and spent, he allowed a contentment that he hadn’t felt in weeks to fill him. It was as if his life was finally coming together. Although he couldn’t do anything about how much his heart ached for Genny, her comment in the portrait gallery gave him hope that she felt something for him. That is what had driven him to her bed tonight.
Knowing he should leave, but not being able to drive himself away, he pulled her up against him. When she snuggled into his chest, he couldn’t help his smile, nor the joy that threaten to consume him. This was not good and the very reason he’d remained away for so long. However, it felt so bloody nice that he couldn’t tear himself away from her.
“I didn’t know you were planning to join me tonight.” Her fingers played with his chest hair.
He swallowed. “Would you have preferred that I remained away?”
“No. I’m glad you are here.”
Letting out a sigh of relief, he tightened his arms around her. The words Marianne had spoken earlier came to him. In regard to his desire to remain away from Genny at night, he hadn’t considered her feelings in the process. And, if her enthusiasm was any indication, she’d been missing his attention. It made him question whether any of his motivations had been pure. Or, had they all been selfish?
“I know it hasn’t been easy to completely change your life so suddenly when you married me. I hope I haven’t added to the difficulty.”
She froze and the gesture told him everything he needed to know.
“You haven’t. I suppose marriage is simply something one must become accustomed to.” The lack of emotion in her voice provided him further proof.
“It is an adjustment, that’s true,” he agreed, although he knew he alone was the reason for her distress.
Unable to handle lying there any longer with the truth he now knew, he shifted until she was settled on the pillow beside him, then he got out of bed. Collecting his dressing gown, he shoved his arms into the sleeves and cinched it tight. He deserved the discomfort after putting her through more trouble than necessary.
“You are leaving?” Again, her voice held no indication of her feelings.
“Yes. We both need to get some rest. Besides, everything should be getting better for us. I hope this means we can begin anew.”
She sat up, pulling the coverlet up to cover her nakedness. “What do you mean?”
He cleared his throat. “Marianne spoke to me today, as I’m sure she did to you. I know she will be a great help to you. I imagine under her aid, you should be able to ascertain what it is that you require.”
With her eyes trained on the floor, she nodded. “We did speak today, and I am grateful. The lady cares for you deeply.”
“As I do for her,” he confirmed, wishing he could read Genny’s mind. For some reason, she had shut down from him. He silently cursed himself. Their evening had been well until he mentioned his blunder of forcing her into decisions tailored for his comfort.
“I bid you a good night, my lord.” She curled on the bed and pulled the covers around herself.
Seeing her small form on the mattress made him ache for her. He wanted to be with her more than he’d wanted anything, but her indifference to him was killing him. Even now, he gazed upon her with such emotion after their passionate experience, yet she was falling asleep.
Done with the pain ripping at his chest, he spun on his heel and returned to his own bedchamber. He sincerely hoped Marianne could do something to help Genny because he couldn’t go on like this. If she was content with her life, perhaps she could look upon him with some amount of emotion. He held on to the secret hope that one day she could learn to return his love.
Chapter 16
“What do you think you are doing?”
Genevieve didn’t look at Cameron as she continued to try to saddle her mare. “Don’t you dare try to stop me. It won’t work this time.”
“Not this again.” He let out a long-suffering sigh. “You can’t get away.”
“I can, and I will.” She set her jaw as she turned to face him. “I want to ride in open land. No more corrals. I want the freedom to move wherever I choose. To be able to test my limits.”
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“Then, what do you plan to do when you’re spent? You will find yourself in the middle of unfamiliar territory and no way to get back.”
“Honestly, I’m willing to take that risk.”
The narrow-eyed look he studied her with gave her hope since the last time he’d set his foot down and didn’t allow her to leave. “If that’s how you truly feel, I have no choice.”
As he disappeared in the stables, she stared dumbfounded. Did he just agree to her demands? Or, did he plan to tell Christopher? Either way, she didn’t care. She honestly didn’t think her husband would do anything to stop her.
When Cameron reemerged, he held the reins of another horse, saddled and ready for a ride. “Hold on to him and move over. You are doing that wrong. You wouldn’t get very far if your saddle falls off.”
“What is this all about?”
“If you’re going for a ride on open land, I’m going with you.”
Joy welled up inside her at the prospect. She’d wanted to take Gemini out to see what the mare could do for so long. In addition, the distressing feeling inside her that begged to be free to run as far as she could would be satisfied with a good ride, or so she hoped.
When she was finally on the back of her horse, she allowed her mind to clear, and she set Gemini off at run, trying to quell the restless spirit inside her. The wind danced across her face, a cleansing wash as it filled her with exhilaration. This was what she needed.
The path and the horse guided her as they moved along as one. She had forgotten about Cameron as the distance grew greater with each stomp of Gemini’s hooves. The farther she got away from the manor, the more relaxed she felt. It shouldn’t be that way, and the truth of it made her feel guilty, so she slowed her mare after a fair distance.
Cameron pulled up beside her. “Follow me. There’s a stream up ahead. The horses deserve a rest.”
Nodding, she followed him and soon their mounts were contented, grazing after enjoying a much-needed drink. Unfortunately, her earlier frustration caught up with her. She wanted to laugh. Apparently, she couldn’t outrun her problems as they saw fit to follow her at a maddeningly fast speed.
“I’ve been patiently waiting, but it seems you have no intention of telling me what is troubling you. As your friend, how can you expect me to help?”
She let out a long breath then stalked over to a nearby tree and leaned against it, needing its strength. “It’s been ten days, Cameron. How can I be like this after only ten days?”
“Ah, I see. Your trouble is with Lady Wrightman.”
“She’s such a sweet lady that I feel horrible to even think badly of her, but I’m not sure how much more I can take.”
Cameron crossed his arms and tilted his head as he looked at her. “If she’s such a kind woman, what’s the trouble?”
“I have the feeling that she’s trying to turn me into her deceased daughter. My every word and action is analyzed and judged by her. Then, she tells me exactly how I should do everything, even how to speak to my husband.”
With a shake of his head, Cameron laughed. “If that is your definition of a nice person, I shudder to think of a mean one.”
Irritated, she pinched her lips. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you anything. The viscountess isn’t trying to be difficult. She truly believes she’s doing what’s best for me and for Lord Andel. And, I don’t have the ability to tell her otherwise.”
“How does the earl feel about all this?”
Feeling the familiar pain rising in her throat, she pushed off the truth and moved to gaze out at the stream. The bubbling sounded like a thousand voices trying to tell her different things. It was a confusing mess, just like her life had become. Unfortunately, she didn’t know what to do about it.
When she thought about Christopher, an ache opened up inside her. Ever since he’d left her bed the day the viscountess had arrived, he hadn’t returned to it. In addition, he’d been acting rather strange toward her. As if he’d expected her to bring up the difficult conversation they’d shared that night.
“Lord Andel is pleased with the viscountess’s efforts to assist me into becoming more like his previous wife.”
The following silence made her turn to ensure Cameron was still there.
“Are you certain?” he asked at last. “I was under the impression that the earl held a fondness for you. I can’t imagine him being amenable to anyone encouraging you to change.”
She let out a bitter laugh. “I believe you misunderstand the relationship he had with his previous countess as well as the one he has with Lady Wrightman. But, I suppose it doesn’t matter.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Although for some unknown reason I’m struggling with my duty, which is very unlike me, I will capitulate in the end. It will be well. I’m simply going through an adjustment period. That is all.”
Cameron moved forward and looked directly in her eyes. “I don’t believe that at all. You need to tell Lord Andel about this. He needs to know what you are going through.”
“No.” She swallowed down her fear at the thought. “He wouldn’t appreciate a harsh word against the viscountess, but moreover, he would be quite disappointed in me. I believe it would be better to give him what he wants.”
“What if you’re wrong? Surely it won’t hurt to talk to him.”
She put her shoulders back. “I’m not wrong, and don’t you go and get any ideas in your head. I forbid you from talking to him as well. Your position here has already been threatened, and I’ll not have it challenged again.”
“If you believe something like that would—”
Holding up her hand, she stopped him. “It’s not only that. I will also not allow another man to champion me against my husband. It just isn’t right.”
Cameron grumbled, but otherwise seemed appeased. Although it wasn’t a good position to be in, Genevieve knew her place within society. Both her mother and father had always taken special care to remind her. As such, this would be no different. She would have dinner set just the way Leslie did. The orders would be placed with the staff on precisely the same day. Christopher would be serenaded each night by her on the pianoforte as she’d been religiously practicing. Even her hair would be styled in a way that would be most pleasing for him. His life would slowly merge back to the comfortable pattern he had with his previous wife.
As she walked toward her mare, she breathed in her last breath of freedom. She was no stranger to serving one’s master. This would be no different than she’d spent the entire first part of her life.
~ ~ ~
As the final note on the pianoforte rang out in the room, Christopher felt the urge to stand and clap. Instead, he knew he would only add his muted accolade with Marianne’s as they praised Genny’s talent. In truth, he was struck. The last time she had played—at Marianne’s request—the piece had been riddled with errors. Tonight, however, it had been flawless. He couldn’t imagine how hard she had worked to achieve such an accomplishment.
“That was well played, my dear,” Marianne complemented then turned to him. “Did you wish to hear another piece? I understand she’s been working on another.”
“No,” he hastened to reply. “Let’s not overtax the countess. Besides, I very much enjoyed listening to that one.”
Marianne narrowed her eyes, but Genny simply looked down at her lap. What had he said? He wanted to say that his wife was not a tool to be used for their amusement. The fact that she had improved so greatly in the past week told him more than he wanted to know. Either Genny had found a love of learning the instrument or Marianne had pressured her.
Over the two weeks or so of Marianne’s visit, he could see Genny becoming more and more distant. He didn’t like it, but nothing he did changed that fact. He had hoped his surrogate mother’s presence wou
ld bring him and his wife closer together, not forge a wedge between them. He needed to find out the cause.
“Genevieve, why don’t you join us?” Marianne suggested as if nothing were amiss.
Christopher ground his teeth. The lady of the house should not be taking directions from a guest. As he watched his wife comply, he noticed she took up a position beside the viscountess. Exactly like a child would defer to her mother. Genny’s eyes were also trained on the ground, and she had barely spoken a full sentence from the time they’d gathered for dinner. What had happened between the two women?
He focused his eyes on his wife. “Tell me, my dear, do you enjoy playing the pianoforte?”
Her back straightened, and she appeared startled, as if surprised to be addressed. “Yes, my lord.”
“Of course she does,” Marianne added. “Our dear girl has such a talent.”
As Marianne droned on, Christopher studied Genny. He realized the past few evenings where the three of them had taken in dinner, the viscountess had driven the conversation as she was now. Not thinking anything of it as that was Marianne’s nature, he had allowed it. Now, he was realizing it had been a mistake. It bothered him to think of Genny feeling ignored.
“. . . And, that’s why we don’t waste our time riding horses.”
Marianne’s last words broke through his thoughts. He noticed in the past weeks he hadn’t seen Genny taking her riding lessons, but he’d suspected he’d only missed them. Now, he wished he’d been paying closer attention.