Tempted by Love: Jack Jock Steele (The Steeles at Silver Island Book 1)
Page 17
“If you miss it that much, why not look for a job in that field?”
“Because the guys have been great to me, and I love our friends there, although the girls aren’t around very often anymore. And while I worry about Hadley not having friends where we live, she starts preschool Monday with all the kids she’s been in daycare with. Moving to a new home and possibly a new school could throw her for a loop. What if it doesn’t work out at a new job? What if we move someplace that looks great, but we don’t find the right friends for either of us? Then I’m back to square one, and Hadley’s the one who suffers.”
“What if it did work out?”
“I get it—glass half-full and all of that. It’s such a double-edged sword. I just don’t want to make the wrong move for Hadley.”
“You’re a very devoted mother. Hadley’s lucky to have you. It’s got to be nice to have your family close by, too, for both of you.”
“It is, although no matter where I live, we’ll always be close. I didn’t feel like we were too far apart when we lived in North Carolina. We visited my family, and they’d come see us. It’s scary looking for a new job as a mom. It’s different than just looking for myself. When I interviewed at Bayside, I knew instantly that I wanted to work there. It was the right opportunity at the right time in mine and Hadley’s lives. So unless the perfect job comes along, one where I know without a shadow of a doubt that moving Hadley and giving up our security is the right thing to do, event planning is just a pipe dream.”
“Well, I for one would love to see your pipe dream come true.”
Her lashes fluttered as she lowered her gaze. “Thank you.”
He took her hand in his and said, “Everything you say and do makes me admire you even more, from the way you are with Hadley, to your hopes and careful thought processes.” Her eyes flicked up to his. “To the way you’re looking at me right now and the pink spreading across your cheeks. You make me want so many things, Daph. Not just for me, but for you and Hadley. How about letting one of my dreams come true and allowing me to kiss you so everyone in here knows you’re mine?”
That sexy smile he loved appeared, and her eyes shifted nervously around them.
Leaning closer, he said, “You’ve got about seven seconds to tell me no.”
“I don’t even need one.”
She pressed her lips to his, surprising him. He felt her smiling, just as he was, and he slid his hand to the base of her neck, taking the kiss deeper. Her cheeks were soft, and her lips were warm. She kissed him eagerly, and when she put her hand on his leg, he put his hand over it to keep from touching her in ways he shouldn’t in public. As badly as he wanted to earn one of her sexy moans, he didn’t want to embarrass her, so he savored the last few seconds of their kiss and eased his efforts to a series of tender kisses before finally putting space between them. Her face was flushed. Her eyes hazy with lust. He pressed his lips to hers again and said, “What do you say we get out of here?”
“I’d like that.”
He flagged down the waiter and paid for dinner. Then they left the restaurant hand in hand, stealing kisses as they hurried across the street to the parking lot, laughing like teenagers. He’d woken up that morning vowing he would not let her down with Hadley, or in any other way. She not only trusted him with her daughter, but also with her heart. He knew that must be hard for her after all she’d been through. His own heart beat with an unfamiliar passion and renewed strength, even more powerful than the thunder he’d lost long ago.
He drew Daphne into his arms, feeling more confident, sharper, happier than ever, and gazed into her eyes. “What are you doing to me, beautiful girl?”
He lowered his lips to hers, taking her in a long, sensual kiss that had her melting into him, making one of those pleasure-filled sounds that sent heat straight to his groin. He told himself to slow down, to be careful with her, to give her room to make her own decisions without the pressure of his desires. It was not an easy task, but he reluctantly drew back.
Her eyes caught his, and so many emotions passed between them, he could barely find his voice. “My cottage? Or…?”
“Your cottage sounds good.”
Daphne was quiet on the drive back to Bayside. Jock reached across the seat for her hand. “I’m sorry if I went too fast, Daph. I don’t have any expectations tonight. I just want to be with you.”
“You didn’t.” She sat up a little straighter, holding his hand tighter, and said, “If I didn’t want to kiss you, I wouldn’t have. I’m just nervous, that’s all.”
“Because you’re still not sure if I can handle Hadley?” Today made him believe he could get perspective on his past and learn to deal with his triggers, but it was only the beginning and it would be understandable if she were concerned.
“No, you did so well with Hadley today, you surprised me. You knew just how to handle her, and you were honest with her about it being hard for you to pick her up. That was…that meant more to me than you can imagine. So many people treat children like they don’t understand the real world. Sometimes I think she understands it better than we do. I know it would have been easier for you to walk away.”
“Actually, it would have been harder to walk away. She trusts me, or she wouldn’t keep approaching me, and you trust me. I want to be worthy of that trust. I surprised myself, too, but I realized last night that I’ve never actually tried to face my triggers. Once I made the decision to confront them for you and Hadley, and for myself, it was easier than running away from them. I felt like such a failure all those times I’d walked away, but I was afraid of what the memories would do to me if I picked up Hadley and she cried. Sharing my past with you last night was cathartic. You make me want to be a better man, Daph, and with you I feel safe enough to admit the things I need to work on. I have more work to do, of course. There were times on the beach when Hadley cried that I had to remind myself that I wasn’t in that hospital again, that she wasn’t going to stop breathing.”
“You handled everything well. It’s okay to take a breather, and now that I understand it, I’m not offended by it.”
“Thank you. That’s why I didn’t hold her when she asked me to down by the water. I don’t know if it will trigger the memories or not, and I don’t want to risk it.”
“After what I saw today, I have faith that you’ll eventually be able to hold her if you want to,” she said sweetly. “But I don’t think you know what easing into something means. Today you didn’t Ferberize yourself. You jumped in with two feet.”
“I’ve never been good at easing into things. I’m an all or nothing guy.” As he turned in to the resort, he said, “But I want to do right by you and Hadley, and if you need us to go slow, we will.”
She lowered her eyes and said, “It’s just been a long time, and I’m not used to…you know.”
He parked in front of his cottage and squeezed her hand. “That makes two of us.” He climbed out and went around to her side, taking her hand as he helped her out of the vehicle. As they walked up to the front door, he said, “How often do your parents keep Hadley overnight?”
“Every few weeks. They’d keep her every night if I let them. They love spoiling her, and she can’t get enough of Nana and Pop Pop.”
“Nana and Pop Pop. That’s cute. What do you usually do on those nights?”
“Have dinner with the girls, read, or go out with our friends, but you’re usually there, and we don’t do that often now that everyone is coupled off.”
He opened the door and said, “After you.”
He followed her in, and though she ran the resort and had probably been in the cottage dozens of times, he tried to see it from her eyes. The bookshelves now held his books, pictures of Harvey, and a few decorative things he’d picked up in his travels. He didn’t display pictures of his family because it made him too sad. His laptop and notebooks sat on the table, and the wooden trunk with Harvey’s handwritten manual in it was still on the floor by the patio doors. It wasn’t home,
but he didn’t even know what a home would feel like anymore, and at least it didn’t feel as much like a rental.
“How do you like staying here?” Daphne asked.
“I like it. I lived in the mansion with Harvey for the first two years, but once he believed I wasn’t going to off myself, I moved into the caretaker’s cottage at the rear of the property. The one where Tegan and Jett live now. This cottage is smaller, but it reminds me of that one. I like the open floor plan, and you can’t beat the view.”
She walked over to the patio doors and gazed out at the moonlight shimmering off the bay. “Hadley and I stayed in this cottage in the spring when a storm came through and the roof in our apartment leaked. She calls it our house. Well, now she calls it ‘Mine and Dock’s house.’” She laughed softly. “One day I want to have a home like this for Hadley, with a backyard where she can play, near friends her age that she can grow up with, get into trouble with—not too much trouble.”
His mind skipped ahead, to thoughts of the future, of being there with them, watching Hadley play, picking her up and swinging her around as Daphne had done on the beach. He tried to rein those thoughts in as he put his arms around Daphne from behind, but when they were together, despite the struggles he still had to move past, nothing had ever felt so right.
He kissed her neck and said, “You mean, we’ve already slept in the same bed?”
She turned in his arms, want simmering in her eyes. “If we did, it doesn’t speak very highly of your bedroom expertise, because I don’t remember it being that thrilling.”
He laughed. “Is that a challenge?” That earned an adorable blush. He teased his lips over hers and said, “I promise you, Daphne, when you’re ready and you and I get together, the earth will move.”
DAPHNE COULD STARE into Jock’s honest eyes for days. He made her feel feminine and beautiful, and she trusted him implicitly. But this moment could change everything. She could finally get her hands on the man she fantasized about when she used her battery-operated boyfriend. Her pulse quickened at the thought. She wanted him so badly she could taste his salty skin. But was she ready to open herself up in a way that she could never take back? To bare not only her heart but her mom bod? Loving her own body was one thing, but baring herself to a man was a whole different ball game. She could hardly breathe for the butterflies in her stomach. Seconds ticked by like minutes. She needed to make a decision. Trust her instincts and let go of her fears, or redirect all her pent-up desires and go for the movie? He held her a little tighter, his eyes boring into her with dirty promises she wanted him to fulfill.
She was so nervous, she didn’t know what to say. But it turned out, her heart did, because when she opened her mouth, “I’ve never felt the earth move” came out.
“Oh, my sweet Daphne. You are going to test my every limit, aren’t you?”
His lips touched hers in a series of tantalizingly tender kisses, each one leaving her aching for more. “Your lips are magnificent,” he whispered, and traced her lower lip with his tongue. “Delicious.”
The words he used to describe her excited her as much as his touch did. Lust billowed inside her as he teased and tasted her lips. Every slick of his tongue, every erotic nip caused a needy gasp. He brushed his scruff along her cheek, pressing a kiss beside her ear, speaking huskily. “There are so many things I want to do with you. To you.” He slid one hand along her cheek and threaded his fingers into her hair, holding tight, his other hand pressing on her lower back, keeping their bodies flush. His arousal pressed hot and hard against her belly. His lips hovered over hers, his tongue gliding along her lips excruciatingly slowly. The anticipation was agonizing and luxurious at once.
“I want to show you how exquisite you are. I want to treasure you, taste all of you.”
She inhaled shakily, her fingers digging into his sides as his mouth covered hers in a penetrating kiss that bound together with his dirty talk, making her damp. She’d read all kinds of books with dirty-talking heroes, but she’d never heard a man say such things in real life. They felt wicked coming from Jock. She never realized how much she liked wicked. His fingers tightened in her hair as he intensified the kiss, and just when a moan left her lips, he eased his efforts as he had the other night, making her crave more.
“I want your beautiful mouth on me,” he said gruffly, sending her entire body into a frenzy of fiery pinpricks.
His mouth claimed hers again, warm and insistent. She opened wider for him, wanting everything he had to give. His tongue probed deep and sensual, as if to show her how he wanted her mouth on him. Her body screamed Yes! but her nerves had her shaking like a leaf in a storm.
He drew back, his eyes dark and possessive, and said, “Don’t get scared, sweetheart. Not tonight. Someday, when and if you want to, my body is yours to explore and enjoy.”
Oh. My. God.
How would she make it through a minute without thinking about that?
He led her to the couch, which was a good thing, because she was dizzy with desire and her legs weren’t going to hold her up much longer. They sat down and he put his arm around her, playing with the back of her hair, their faces a whisper apart. When he looked at her like that, so different than she’d ever been looked at before—full of emotions, with as much admiration as hunger—she felt like he truly saw her, all of her: the responsible mom, the caring friend, and the sensual woman.
“I could kiss you all night long.” He kissed her lips, her jaw, and the curve of her neck, sending heat blazing through her core. He put his hand on her thigh, and his brows knitted. “You’re shaking. Do you want to stop?”
“No,” she said barely above a whisper.
He squeezed her thigh and said, “Don’t be nervous. I’ll never ask you to do anything you don’t want to. I just want to make you feel good.”
God. Did men like him really exist? He was generous in every sense of the word.
His lips descended slowly, intimately, upon hers, as if he were savoring every blessed second. Lust spread through her entire being, burning between her legs like hot coals. His tongue swept greedily over hers, stealing her brain cells one lick at a time. She didn’t fight it. She didn’t want to think; she only wanted to feel. His passion was a drug, taking her higher. She wanted to revel in the rush of desire consuming her, the feel of his hands exploring her torso, the scratch of his rough scruff on her cheeks as he devoured her. Oh, how she loved that! Her sense of time and space blurred, fading until there was only the two of them and the raging emotions binding them together. He kissed her slower, more intensely, so thoroughly she couldn’t stop the moans coming as he lowered her to her back.
He perched above her, his hard length pressing against her center. “Daphne” came out rough and pleading as he shifted, bearing his weight on one arm.
“Touch me.” She pulled his mouth to hers, arching beneath him, wanting his touch as much as he wanted her kisses. His hand covered her breast, groping greedily, then caressing as if she were precious. His thumb brushed over her nipple, bringing it to a taut, aching point. It had been so long since she’d been touched, she tore her mouth away, panting out, “Yes…”
He trailed openmouthed kisses down her neck, slowing to take a tantalizing suck here, an erotic nip there. She felt like a bundle of raw nerves as he touched the buttons on her blouse, his adoring eyes silently seeking her approval. Her heart stuttered. She nodded, sure she was blushing from head to toe, which she knew he’d love. Just the thought of him loving that part of her made her want him even more. He pressed his warm lips to her breastbone and dusted kisses along her chest as he unbuttoned her blouse. He didn’t rush, didn’t try to hide his greedy, appreciative looks as he unclasped her bra and bared her breasts. She’d never had perky breasts, and nursing Hadley had definitely taken a toll. Her belly was anything but fit and hadn’t seen sun since the seventh grade, but when Jock’s eyes met hers, sheer, unadulterated awe stared back at her.
“You are absolutely breathtaking.” He
ran his fingers lightly over her breasts, leaving goose bumps in their wake. “More beautiful than a Renoir.”
She knew Renoir was a famous artist, but she had no idea what he painted. It didn’t matter, because Jock’s tone made it clear that a Renoir didn’t hold a candle to her, and that overwhelmed her. She was bewildered by his appreciation, consumed by feelings bigger than happiness, more powerful than exhilaration. Similar to the day Hadley had come into the world, only totally different. She scrambled for the right words, but there were none special enough to describe all the things he made her feel. He lowered his mouth to her breast, loving her so perfectly, she had a hard time holding on to her thoughts. He whispered, “So sweet.” Kiss, suck. “I’ve wanted you for so long…” rendering her unable to think at all. Every suck brought a tug between her legs, every caress, a rock of her hips, until she was writhing in pleasure, hanging on to reality by a thread. A stream of indiscernible noises fell from her lips.
“That’s it, baby,” he coaxed, his voice thick with desire.
With his mouth on her breast, his hand moved to her thigh, and she opened her legs, giving him the approval she knew he’d seek. He shifted higher, gazing into her eyes as his fingers traced the skin along the edge of her panties, so close to her sex she was going to lose her mind. He didn’t say a word, and from the fire in his eyes, the tension in his jaw, she wondered if he wasn’t able to. He lowered his mouth to hers, rough and demanding as his fingers pushed into her panties, sliding over her wetness. Yes…She rocked her hips, her whole body bowing up as he teased her into a moaning mess of desire. He kissed her like he was making love to her mouth. His thick fingers entered her slowly, stroking over the magical spot that made her whimper like the needy girl she was. His thumb zeroed in on her most sensitive nerves, sending electric currents racing through her.
“Let go for me,” he said against her lips before reclaiming them with a passion unmatched by anything she’d ever felt.