by Devney Perry
My anxiety spiked as the silence dragged on. Damn it. Maybe Kym had misread this situation. Maybe Milo was angrier at me than I’d thought.
I was about to tuck my tail between my legs and go running for the hills when he dropped his head into the pillows.
“Where have you been?”
“I got in trouble. Well, sort of.” I swallowed hard. “My boss told me to work on the other side of the unit because I was too attached.”
“You disappeared on me.” His eyes bored into mine, hard and stern. But his voice was so gentle, it made me want to melt.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t leave me again. Or at least pick up the damn phone. I’ve been waiting for it to ring for two weeks and—” He shook his head. “Scratch all that. Ignore me. I’m being a dick to everyone today.”
“Understandable.”
“I just . . . I’m glad you’re back.”
“Me too,” I whispered as the emotions swirled. I was overjoyed that he wanted me here. Relieved that I hadn’t dreamed up these silly one-sided feelings. Angry that I’d let other people dictate who I could see.
It was too much to deal with all at once and a wash of tears flooded my eyes. I looked away, blinking them clear. And then I sucked in a shaking breath to rein it all in.
“I have your morphine.” I lifted the syringe in my hand, then approached his bed. “I’m sorry you’ve been in pain.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“But I think . . . I think it is. None of this would have happened if I’d been able to stay away.”
The admission flew past my lips. Embarrassed and vulnerable, I spun for the sink. I washed my hands, counting to ten. God, I was bad at this. Was I ever going to be cool around men? Or cool period?
“Sara.” Milo’s voice rose above the running water. “I’m happy you couldn’t stay away.”
“You are?” I asked, still not facing him.
“Given the state I’m in, it would have made it a lot harder for me to find you if I’d had to go looking.”
I smiled and shut off the water. Definitely not one-sided.
When I turned around, Milo was grinning. He patted the edge of his bed so I went over and sat by his side.
“I didn’t ask to be reassigned,” I told him.
“I figured as much. I’m not a great cop but I can spot a lie. Plus Vernon is being a fucking asshole at the moment.”
“He’s still your doctor. And since this is such a small unit, he’s your only option at the moment. If you don’t want him, you’ll have to go to Seattle or Salt Lake City.”
“Not an option. I’ll—” He winced, a sudden flare of pain cutting him off.
“Let me give you your morphine.” But before I could grab the syringe from by the sink, he stopped me.
“No, wait. I want to get this out first while I’m still clear.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“I’ll tolerate Vernon because I’m not leaving here. I’m not giving you up.”
My heart fluttered. “You’re not?”
“No.” He placed his hand over mine. “I’m not very good at this.”
“At what?”
He swallowed twice, his eyes blinking too fast. I’d never seen Milo like this. Was he nervous?
“I, uh . . .” He let out a long breath. “You should know I’m not the guy in town everyone congregates around. I’m not flashy or whatever. You get what I’m saying? I’m just me. I try to be friendly and do a good job. But I screw up sometimes. I’m awkward and was never the popular kid. So I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends. Or any. I don’t really know how to act.”
I nodded, knowing exactly what he was saying.
“If I had met you in Prescott, I would have asked you out. You probably would have said no.”
“I would have said yes.”
The corners of his lips turned up. “If you had said no, I would have kept asking. For a guy who’s been shot down more than once, I’m pretty gun-shy. But for you, I would have tried a million times. I’ve got a hell of a crush on you, Sara Foster.”
“I have a crush on you too.” The smile I was trying to hold back pinched my cheeks, so I let it go. “But I can’t be your nurse anymore.”
“No, you can’t.”
I slipped my hand free of his and picked up the syringe to uncap it and position it in his IV line. As I pushed the plunger, sending the medication through the clear tubes, I searched for something to say.
I couldn’t be his nurse, so where did that leave us? I wanted to spend time with him before he left and went home to Montana, but it would be a risk.
Was I willing to take it?
Yes.
No one, not Amber or Dr. Vernon or anyone, was going to keep me away, not anymore.
I took the syringe to the disposal container on the wall marked SHARPS. Then I went back to his bedside. Milo’s eyes were closed. The drugs didn’t take long to work their way into a person’s system when pumped right into an IV.
And though I didn’t have any answers, for now, just knowing he was getting some relief from the pain was enough.
“Sara?” he murmured.
“Yes?”
His hand patted around the bed, searching for mine. When he found it, he held it tight. “What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”
I smiled. “Sneaking into your room.”
Six
MILO
“Mom, I’m good. Even though I look like Frankenstein.”
“I should have come out there,” she muttered. I knew, on the other side of the phone, she was shaking her head.
“To sit around the hospital? There’s nothing you could have done.”
“I could come out now.”
“There’s no need. I’m okay. The grafts are done. Now we just wait and see if they take.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” I promised. “I’m fine. And I’m sorry for putting you guys through all this.”
“Don’t be sorry. This wasn’t your fault.”
In my mind, I knew she was right. But it didn’t make the guilt in my heart go away. The explosion, while not my doing, had been triggered by my hand. By my ignorance. It was a comfort that Jess and Beau were fine. And that the man sitting in the hospital bed suffering was me.
“Did the doctor give you any indication when you could come home?”
“Three weeks. Maybe four.”
I was confined to this bed, allowed only to walk to the bathroom, over the next week. After that, they’d let me wander the halls. But they didn’t want me doing any activities that could stretch or injure the graft sites for another month.
The good doctor Vernon had made an offhand joke that at least insurance was covering my stay.
That fucking bastard. He had to know I couldn’t afford a long-term stay in a hospital on a cop’s salary. Thank Christ for Jamison Valley’s county health insurance policy. I was losing wages as it was, and a huge medical bill would be impossible for me to pay.
But even if they cut off my funds today, I’d stay here for the next month.
I’d stay for Sara.
She was the one good thing to come from this explosion.
“We’ll be anxious to have you home,” Mom said. “Soon.”
“Yeah, Mom.” Maybe.
I wasn’t going to tell her right now but I’d already made the decision to stay in Spokane. I’d stay here as long as it took to convince Sara to give a long-distance relationship a go. In the past week it had become clear, I wasn’t letting her go. I was rarely the smartest man in the room, but I wasn’t a total idiot.
She was something special. If camping out in Spokane after leaving the hospital was necessary to see how things developed between us, so be it. And if things progressed the way I already knew they would, I’d either be looking for a job in Spokane or I’d be pulling every string I could to get Sara a job at the Jamison Valley Hospital.
“Keep me posted on your progress,”
Mom said.
“I will. I’ll call you later this week. Say hi to Dad.”
“And you say hello to Sara. She’s such a sweetheart.”
I grinned into the phone. I wouldn’t have to worry about Mom’s approval of Sara. Dad’s either. “She’s something.”
“I’m glad you have her.”
“Me too.”
“And I’m glad you have Dr. Vernon. He’s such a nice man.”
“He’s something too.” I swallowed a string of curses that would just irritate Mom.
Dr. Vernon was a fucking idiot. I hadn’t missed the smug grin on his face earlier today when he’d come in with Kym to check on the grafts he’d done yesterday. He’d casually thrown out Sara’s name, saying he hoped to be meeting her for Valentine’s Day sushi. I think he wanted me here for another four weeks just to rub in the fact that it was him keeping her from my side.
Motherfucker.
I knew all about this sushi date that was never going to happen. Sara had told me everything. Did he think I’d get jealous? His head was so far up his own ass, he couldn’t see that she despised him. He couldn’t see that she was already mine.
Whatever. I was using him for his medical skills. I needed him to fix me up so I could give all my energy to Sara.
“All right, Mom. I’ll let you go.”
“Take care. Love you. And Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“You too. Bye.”
I tossed my cell phone onto the bed, relaxing back into the pillow.
I’d called Mom in hopes that it would pass some time, but it hadn’t been enough. I still had five hours to go until my date.
My toes bounced underneath the blanket covering my legs as the minutes dragged by. I’d never had a date on Valentine’s Day. Not a real date anyway. In Prescott, I’d become the go-to guy when one of my buddies had a date with a woman but she wouldn’t go without her friend. I’d been paired on three Valentine’s Day double dates with girls who had as much interest in sitting beside me as I had them.
But tonight, I was having a date with the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. A woman with vibrant green eyes and hair the color of a wheat field beneath an orange sunset.
A woman who was stealing my heart, one shy smile at a time.
SARA
Milo: All clear.
* * *
Me: On my way.
I poked my head through the stairwell door, taking a long look around the unit. There wasn’t a soul in sight, so I made a dash for it, walking fast enough to set a new speed-walking world record.
My chest heaved as I huffed it to Milo’s room. My arms were overloaded with paper bags. I was likely leaving a trail of grease in my wake. Though the bag of fries had leaked so much in my car—it would smell like a fryer for a week—I wondered if there was any grease left.
I didn’t care that I’d have to air out the car. Sneaking into Milo’s room was exhilarating.
A giggle bubbled up as I reached his door. I pushed the handle with my pinky finger and shuffled inside.
“Hey,” I breathed, hefting the bags onto his table.
“Hey.” Milo smiled, one as wide as my own. He was propped up in bed, the back raised higher than normal so he was nearly sitting up.
“I hope you’re hungry.”
He chuckled. “If what you have in those bags is what I think it is, I’m starved.”
The smell was probably going to seep into the hallways, bringing Connie in to investigate. But I’d bribed her with her own cheesesteak and fries to keep my date in Milo’s room tonight a secret.
She’d agreed that Dr. Vernon had been out of line by reporting my friendship with Milo when he hadn’t reported my friendship with Luna. Connie regretted telling Amber I sat with him during the evenings.
But I wasn’t upset with her, with anyone. I didn’t expect my coworkers to lie to our boss. And to avoid putting her or anyone else in an awkward position, I hadn’t spent any more evenings in Milo’s room.
Over the past week, I’d spent my days working on the other side of the unit as I had the weeks before. When I clocked out after my shift, I went straight home, walking the three blocks quickly in the cold February weather. On the two days I had off, I’d spent some quality time at home in my sweatpants with a cup of hot tea and the television on.
I hadn’t come to Milo’s room once, not physically.
But I had spent every night with him.
On the phone.
We’d talked for hours over the past week. I’d learned that Milo had grown up on a farm outside of Prescott. That a golden wheat field in August was one of his favorite views. That he’d gone to a small high school, graduating with a class of only twenty.
We talked about everything and nothing, and the last two nights, I’d fallen asleep to the sound of his smooth voice in my ear.
Screw you, Dr. Vernon. He could exile me from Milo’s room, but he couldn’t keep us apart.
And tonight, wild horses couldn’t drag me from this room. I’d worked the day shift, gone home and picked up my car. Then I’d driven to my favorite sub sandwich place and picked up sacks full of the best cheesesteaks in Spokane.
Milo couldn’t take me out to dinner, so I’d brought dinner to him.
I busied myself with the grease-covered paper bags by the sink, taking out the cartons with the fries first, then the sandwiches. I was in the middle of assembling Milo’s massive meal on his table when a knock sounded at the door.
Connie came inside, quickly shutting the door behind her. Then she licked her lips and smiled. “I’m starving. I love you for this, Sara. I haven’t had a Bruchi’s cheesesteak in ages.”
I giggled, handing over her own greasy paper bag. “Thanks for keeping this on the down low tonight.”
Her hand dove into the bag, rifling around until she had a home-style fry in hand. She groaned as she popped it into her mouth and chewed. “As far as I’m concerned, Milo fell asleep early and I’m giving him a nice quiet evening. Alone.”
“Thanks, Connie,” he said. “We appreciate it.”
“Call for me if you need anything.” She gave him a soft smile. “But I think you’re in good hands.”
“The best.”
I blushed, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. As Connie left, I went back to the bags and finished getting everything out for our dinner. I pushed Milo’s table farther up the bed, the sandwich and fries laid out and ready to devour. I was about to go to my chair in the corner but he slid his food over, making room for mine.
“Sit with me?”
“Okay.” I set my food down, then climbed up onto the bed next to his feet.
It was the first time we’d sat across a table from one another, and like this, it was easy to pretend we were in a restaurant, sitting in a dark booth with people milling about.
“One more thing.” He took the tea light he’d kept on the table since the day I’d put it there and turned it on. Then Milo stretched across the table, his thumb caressing my cheek. “Thank you for this. I’ve never had a real Valentine’s date.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
How was that possible? How was it possible he was still single? Were women in Montana blind? He was handsome and sweet. He cared about everything, especially people. He loved his mom. Respected his dad. He was strong and honest.
Apparently, all the women who’d crossed his path before were fools, and I was more than happy to sit across from a man they’d overlooked.
He took his hand away but the tingles from his touch remained. We started in on the meal, he going for a fry as I started on my cheesesteak first, tucking a piece of tender, hot roast beef in place so it wouldn’t fall out of the soft white bread.
“I haven’t had many Valentine’s dates either,” I told him. “Definitely not good ones.”
“Yeah? What was the worst?”
I grimaced. “I tried online dating once, and only once, right after my dad died. I think I was lonely and didn’t want to
sit alone on Valentine’s Day watching sappy romances on TV. The guy showed up twenty minutes late with lipstick on the collar of his white shirt and called me Serena all through dinner. I’ve never eaten so fast in my life.”
Milo laughed, a full laugh. White smile. Straight teeth. Soft, pink lips. And it occurred to me. “I’ve never seen you smile.”
“Huh?” He picked up his sandwich. “I smile all the time when you’re in the room.”
Not like this. Carefree. Pain-free. My heart skipped, hoping I’d see it more often. “I like your smile.”
“I like yours too.” He shoved a huge bite of his cheesesteak into his mouth, groaning as he chewed. “Oh my God.”
It came out muffled with his cheeks bulging. I laughed and did the same, enjoying the flavor of decadence and calories.
“Screw chocolates,” he said after swallowing. “Nothing says romance better than greasy cheesesteak.”
I laughed, covering my mouth with a hand so he wouldn’t see my food. We didn’t talk much as we devoured our meals. When we were done, I balled up the tissue paper and cartons, tossing it all into the trash. Then I went back to my spot on Milo’s bed, leaning up against his leg as he relaxed into the pillows, his arms—wrapped in white bandages—resting gently on his stomach.
“I talked to my mom today.”
“How is she?” I asked.
“Good. She and Dad have been busy cutting firewood. They try to use the winter months to stockpile what they need for the following winter.”
“Is that how they heat their house?” It sounded so rustic and cozy. I bet it smelled incredible, like the way a cold winter day spent inside was supposed to smell, like burning pine and glowing embers.
“They have a furnace but Dad loves to have a fire going too.”
“Sounds like my dad. He had a wood stove in the garage and used to love going out there just to tinker and light a fire.” That stove hadn’t been touched since he’d died. “How is everything else going at home?”
“It’s okay.” He sighed, dropping his gaze. “Actually, it’s been kind of crazy.”