Miss Ravenel's conversion from secession to loyalty

by John William De Forest

  CHAPTER XIV.

  LILLIE CHOOSES FOR HERSELF.

  Late in that eventful summer of 1862, so bloody in Virginia andKentucky, so comparatively peaceful in the malarious heats of Louisiana,the Colonel of the Tenth Barataria held a swearing soliloquy. In generalwhen he swore it was at somebody or to somebody; but on the presentoccasion the performance was confined to the solitude of his own roomand the gratification of his own ears; unless, indeed, we may venture tosuppose that he had a guardian angel whose painful duty it was to attendhim constantly. I suspect that I have not yet enabled the reader torealize how remarkable were the Colonel's gifts in the way of profanity;and I fear that I could not do it without penning three or four suchastonishing pages as never were printed, unless it might be in theinfernal regions. In the appropriate words, of Lieutenant Van Zandt,who, by the way, honestly admired his superior officer for this and forhis every other characteristic, "it was a nasty old swear."

  Carter's quarters were a large brick house belonging to a latelywealthy but now impoverished and exiled Secessionist. He had his office,his parlor, his private sitting-room, his dining-room, hisbilliard-room, and five upper bedrooms, besides the basement. His lifecorresponded with his surroundings; his dinners were elegant, his winesand segars superior. As it was now evening and his business hours longsince over, he was in his sitting-room, lounging in an easy chair, hisfeet on a table, a half-smoked segar in one hand and an open letter inthe other. Only the Colonel or Lieutenant Van Zandt, or men equallygifted in ardent expressions, could suitably describe the heat of theweather. Although he wore nothing but his shirt and pantaloons, hischeeks were deeply flushed, and his forehead beaded with perspiration.The Louisiana mosquitoes, a numerous and venomous people, were buzzingin his ears, raising blotches on his face and perforating his linen. Butit was not about them, it was about the letter, that he was blaspheming.When the paroxysm was over he restored the segar to his lips, discoveredthat it was out, and relighted it; for he was old smoker enough andhealthy enough to prefer the pungency of a stump to the milder flavor ofa virgin weed. While he re-reads his letter, we will venture to lookover his shoulder.

  "My dear Colonel," it ran, "I am sorry that I can give you no betternews. Waldo and I have worked like Trojans, but without bringinganything to pass. You will see by enclosed copy of application to theSecretary, that we got a respectable crowd of Senators andRepresentatives to join in demanding a step for you. The Secretary isall right; he fully acknowledges your claims. But those infernal bigots,the Sumner and Wilson crowd, got ahead of us. They went to headquarters,civil and military. We couldn't even secure your nomination, much less asenatorial majority for confirmation. These cursed fools mean to purifythe army, they say. They put McClellan's defeat down to his pro-slaverysentiments, and Pope's defeat to McClellan. They intend to turn outevery moderate man, and shove in their own sort. They talk of makingBanks head of the Army of the Potomac, in place of McClellan, who hasjust saved the capital and the nation. There never was such fanaticismsince the Scotch ministers at Dunbar undertook to pray and preach downCromwell's army. You are one of the men whom they have blackballed. Theyhave got hold of the tail-end of some old plans of yours in thefilibustering days, and are making the most of it to show that you areunfit to command a brigade in 'the army of the Lord.' They say you arenot the man to march on with old John Brown's soul and hang Jeff Davison a sour apple-tree. I think you had better take measures to get rid ofthat filibustering ghost. I have another piece of advice to offer. Mereadministrative ability in an office these fellows can't appreciate; butthey can be dazzled by successful service in the field, because that isbeyond their own cowardly possibilities; also because it takes withtheir constituents, of whom they are the most respectful and obedientservants. So why not give up your mayoralty and go in for the autumncampaign? If you will send home your name with a victory attached to it,I think we can manufacture a public opinion to compel your nominationand confirmation. Mind, I am not finding fault. I know that nothing canbe done in Louisiana during the summer. But blockheads don't know this,and in politics we are forced to appeal to blockheads; our supreme courtof decisions is, after all, the twenty millions of ignorami who do thevoting. Accordingly, I advise you to please these twenty millions byputting yourself into the fall campaign.

  "Very truly yours, &c."

  "D----n it! of course I mean to fight," muttered the Colonel, when hehad finished his second reading. "I'll resign the mayoralty, and ask foractive service and a brigade. Then I must write something to explainthat filibustering business.--No, I won't. The less that is explained,the better. I'll deny it outright.--Now there's Weitzel. He, by" (thisand that) "can have a star, and I can't. My junior, by" (that and theother) "in the service, by" (this and that) "by at least six years. Whatif he should get the active brigade? It would be just him, by" (this andthat) "to want it, and just like Butler, by" (that and the other) "togive it to him."

  The Colonel sat for a long time in vexatious thought, slapping hismosquito bites, relighting his stump and smoking it down to itsbitterest dregs. Finally, without having written a word, he gave up thebattle with the stinging multitudes, drank a glass of brandy and water,turned off the gas, stepped into the adjoining bedroom, kicked off histrousers (long since unbuttoned), drew the mosquito-curtain, and went tobed as quickly and quietly as an infant. Soldiering habits had enabledhim to court slumber with success under all circumstances.

  During the month of September was formed that famous organization,composed of five regiments of infantry, with four squadrons and twobatteries attached, known officially as the Reserve Brigade, butpopularly as Weitzel's. It was intended from the first for activeservice, and the title Reserve was applied to it simply to mislead theenemy. The regiments were encamped for purposes of drill and preparationon the flats near Carrollton, a village four or five miles above NewOrleans. Carter applied for the brigade, but was unable to obtain it.Weitzel was not only his superior in rank, but was Butler's favoriteofficer and most trusted military adviser. Then Carter threw up hismayoralty and reported for duty to his regiment, in great bitterness ofspirit at finding himself obliged to serve under a man who had once beenhis junior and inferior. His only consolation was that this was not theworst; both he and Weitzel were under the orders of an attorney.

  But he went to work vigorously at drilling, disciplining and fittingout his regiment. His Sunday morning inspections were awful ordealswhich lasted the whole forenoon. If a company showed three or four dirtymen the Colonel sent for the Captain and gave him such a lecture as madehim think seriously of tendering his resignation. When not on drill orguard duty the soldiers were busy nearly all day in brushing theiruniforms, polishing their brasses and buttons, blacking their shoes andaccoutrements, and washing their shirts, drawers, stockings, and eventheir canteen strings. The battalion drills of the Tenth were trulylaborious gymnastic exercises, performed in great part on thedouble-quick. The sentinels did their whole duty, or were relieved andsent to the guardhouse. Corporals who failed to make their roundsproperly were reduced to the ranks. Privates who forgot to salute anofficer, or who did not do it in handsome style, were put in confinementon bread and water. The company cooking utensils were scoured every day,and the camp was as clean as bare, turfless earth could be. Carter was ahard-hearted, intelligent, conscientious, beneficent tyrant. The TenthBarataria was the show regiment of the Reserve Brigade. I have not timeto analyze the interesting feelings of freeborn Yankees under thissearching despotism. I can only say that the soldiers hated theircolonel because they feared him; that, like true Americans theyprofoundly respected him because, as they said, "he knew his biz;" thatthey were excessively proud of the superior drill and neatness to whichhe had brought them against their wills; and that, on the whole, theywould not have exchanged him for any other regimental commander in thebrigade. They firmly believed that under "Old Carter" they could whipthe best regiment in the rebel service. It is true that there wereexceptional ruffians who could not forget that they had bee
n bucked andput in the stocks, and who muttered vindictive prophecies as tosomething desperate which they would do on the first field of battle.

  "Bedad an' I'll not forget to pay me reshpecs to 'im," growled aHibernian pugilist. "Let 'im get in front of the line, an I'll show 'imthat I know how to fire to the right and left oblike."

  Carter laughed contemptuously when informed of the bruiser's threat.

  "It's not worth taking notice of," he said. "I know what he'll do whenhe comes under the enemy's fire. He'll blaze away straight before him asfast as he can load and pull trigger, he'll be in such a cursed hurry tokill the men who are trying to kill him. I couldn't probably make himfire right oblique, if I wanted to. You never have seen men in battle,Captain Colburne. It's really amusing to notice how eager and savage newtroops are. The moment a man has discharged his piece he falls toloading as if his salvation depended on it. The moment he has loaded hefires just where he did the first time, whether he sees anything or not.And he'll keep doing this till you stop him. I am speaking of rawtroops, you understand. The old cocks save their powder,--that is unlessthey get bedeviled with a panic. You must remember this when we come tofight. Don't let your men get to blazing away at nothing and scaringthemselves with their own noise, under the delusion that they arefiercely engaged."

  During the month or more which the brigade passed at Carrollton Ravenelfrequently visited Colburne, and did not forget to make an incidentalcall or two of civility on Colonel Carter. On two or three galaoccasions he brought out Mrs. Larue and Miss Ravenel. They always cameand went by the railroad, their present means not justifying a carriage.When the ladies appeared in camp the Colonel usually discovered thefact, and hastened to make himself master of the situation. He invitedthem under the marquee of his double tent, brought out store ofconfiscated Madeira, ordered the regimental band to play, sent word tothe Lieutenant-Colonel to take charge of dress-parade, and escorted hisvisitors in front of the line to show them the exercises. In these highofficial hospitalities neither Colburne nor any other company officerwas invited to share. Even the lieutenant-colonel, the major, the firstsurgeon and the chaplain, though ranking as field and staff officers,kept at a respectful distance from the favored visitors and their awfulhost. For discipline's sake Carter lived in loftier state among thesevolunteers than he would have done in a regular regiment. Miss Ravenelwas amused, but she was also considerably impressed, by the awe withwhich he was regarded by all who surrounded him. I believe that allwomen admire men who can make other men afraid.

  "Are you as much scared at the general as your officers are at you?" shelaughingly asked. "I wish I could see the general."

  "I will bring him to your house," said Carter; but this was one of thepromises that he did not keep. That gay speech of the young lady musthave been a bitter dose to him, as we know who are aware of hisprofessional disappointment.

  The ladies were delighted to walk down the open ranks on inspection, andsurvey the neat packing of the double lines of unslung knapsacks.

  "It is like going through a milliner's shop," said Lillie. "How nicelythe things are folded! They really have a great deal of taste inarranging the colors. See, here is blue and red and grey, and then blueagain, with a black cravat here and a white handkerchief there. It islike the backs of a row of books."

  "Yes, this box knapsack is a good one for show," the Colonel admitted."It is too large, however. When the men come to march they will findthemselves overloaded. I shall have to make a final inspection and throwaway a few tons of these extra-military gewgaws. What does a soldierwant of black cravats and daguerreotypes and diaries and Testaments?"

  "How cruelly practical you are!" said Lillie.

  "Not in every thing," responded the Colonel with a sigh; and for somereason the young lady blushed profoundly at the answer.

  Of course these visits, the regiment, the Reserve Brigade, and itsdestination were matters of frequent conversation at the Raveneldwelling. Through some leak of indiscretion or treachery it transpiredthat Weitzel was to oust Mouton from the country between the Mississippiand the Atchafalaya, where he was a constant menace to New Orleans. Thewhole city, rebel and loyal, argued and quarreled about the chances ofsuccess. The Secessionists were rampant; they said that Mouton hadfifteen thousand men; they offered to bet their piles that he would haveNew Orleans back in a month. At every notable corner and in front ofevery popular drinking saloon were groups of tall, dark, fierce-lookingmen, carrying heavy canes, who glared at Union officers and mutteredabout coming Union defeats. Pale brunette ladies flouted their skirtsscornfully at sight of Federal uniforms, and flounced out of omnibussesand street cars defiled by their presence. These feminine politiciansnever visited Miss Ravenel, however intimately they might have known herbefore the war; and if they met her in the street they complimented herwith the same look of hate which they vouchsafed to the flag of theircountry. With Madame Larue they were still on good terms, although theyrarely called at her house for fear of encountering the Ravenels. Thissuited Madame's purposes precisely; she could thereby be Federal at homeand Secessionist abroad.

  "You know, my dears," she would say to the female Langdons and Soules,"that one cannot undo one's self of one's own relatives. That would beunreasonable. So I am obliged to receive the Doctor and his poordaughter at my house. But I understand perfectly that their society mustbe to you disagreeable. Therefore I absolve you, though with pain, fromreturning my visits. But, my dears, I shall only call on you the moreoften. Do not be surprised," she would sometimes add, "if you see aFederal uniform enter my door from time to time. I have my objects. Iflatter myself that I shall yet be of benefit to the good cause."

  And in fact she did occasionally send to a certain secret junto scrapsof information which she professed to have extracted from Unionofficers. This information was of no value; it is even probable thatmuch of it was a deliberate figment of her imagination; but in this wayshe kept her political odor sweet in the nostrils of the citySecessionists.

  In secret she cared for little more than to be on the safe side and keepher property. She laughed with delighted malice at the Doctor's sarcasmsupon the absurdities of New Orleans politics, and the rottenness of NewOrleans morals. She sympathized with Lillie's youthful indignation ather own social proscription. She flattered Carter's professional prideby predicting his success in the field. She satirized Colburne behindhis back, and praised him to his face, for his Catonian principles. Shewas all things to all men, and made herself generally agreeable.

  Meantime Lillie had become what she called a Federalist; for she was notyet so established in the faith as to style it Loyalist or Patriot. Whatgirl would not have been thus converted, driven as she was from themansion of secession by its bitter inmates, and drawn towards theopposing house by her father and her two admirers? Colonel Carter'svisits were frequent and his influence strong and increasing,notwithstanding the Doctor's warning tirades. It made her uneasy,fretful and unhappy, to disagree with her father; but on the subject ofthis preference she positively could not hold his opinions. He seemed toher to be so unjust; she could not understand why he should be sobitterly and groundlessly prejudiced; the reasons which he hinted atglided off her like rain off a bird's feathers. She granted no faith tothe insinuation that the Colonel was a bad man, nor, had she creditedit, would she have inferred therefrom that he would make a bad husband.Let us not be astonished at the delusion of this intelligent andpure-minded young lady. I have witnessed more extraordinary assortmentsand choices than this. I have more than once seen an elegant, brilliant,highly-cultured girl make an inexplicable and hungry snap at a man whowas stupidly, boorishly, viciously her inferior. The subtle and potentsense which draws the two sexes together is an inexorable despot.

  The Colonel was one of its victims, although not quite bereft of reason.Still, if he did not offer himself to Miss Ravenel before going on thisLafourche expedition, it was simply from considerations of worldlyprudence, or, as he phrased it to himself, out of regard to herhappiness. He tho
ught that his pay was insufficient to support her inthe style to which she had been accustomed, and in which he wished hiswife to live. That he would be rejected he did not much expect, being aveteran in love affairs, accustomed to conquer, and gifted by birthrightwith an audacious confidence. Nor did he so much as suspect that he wasnot good enough for her. His moral perceptions, not very keen perhaps bynature, had been still further calloused by thirty-five years ofwandering in the wilderness of sin. Strange as it may seem to people ofstaid lives the Colonel did not even consider himself a fast man. Heallowed that he drank; yes, that he sometimes drank more than was goodfor him; but, as he laughingly said, he never took more than hisregulation quart a day; by which he meant that, according to the armystandard, he was a temperate drinker. As to gambling, that was agentleman's amusement, and moreover he had done very little of it in thelast year or two. It was true that he had had various----; but then allmen did that sort of thing at times and under temptation; they did itmore or less openly, according as they were men of the world orhypocrites; if they said they didn't, they lied. The Colonel did notgrant the least faith to the story of Joseph, or, allowing it to betrue, for the sake of argument, he considered Joseph no gentleman. Inshort, after inspecting himself fairly and fully according to hislights, he concluded that he was rather honorable even in his vices. Hadhe not, for instance, entangled himself in that affair of the French_boudoir_ chiefly to get Miss Ravenel out of his head, and so keep fromleading her and himself into a poverty-stricken marriage? Thus, thoughhe was very frank with himself, he still concluded that he was atolerably good fellow. Yes; and there were many other persons whothought him good enough; men who knew his ways perfectly but could notsee much matter of reproach in them.

  In this state of opinion, and temper of feeling, the Colonel approachedhis last interview with Miss Ravenel. He meant to avoid the temptationof seeing her alone on this occasion; but when Mrs. Larue told him thathe should have a private interview of half an hour he could not refusethe offer. It must not be supposed that Lillie was a party to theconspiracy. Madame alone originated, planned, and executed. She saw toit beforehand that the Doctor should be invited out; she stoppedColburne on the doorstep with a message that the ladies were not athome; lastly she slipped out of the parlor, dodged through the backpassage into the Ravenel house, and remained there thirty minutes by thewatch. It vexed this amiable creature a trifle that the Colonel shouldprefer Lillie; but since he would be so foolish, she was determined thathe should make a marriage of it. Leaving her to these reflections as shewalks the Doctor's studio, kicking his minerals about the carpet withher little feet, or watching at the window lest he should returnunexpectedly, let us go back to Miss Ravenel and her still undecidedlover. It was understood that the expedition was to sail the next day,although Carter had not said so, not being a man to tattle officialsecrets. When, therefore, he entered the house that evening, she felt avague dread of him, as if half comprehending that the occasion mightlead him to say something decisive of her future. Carter on his partknew that he would not be interrupted for a reasonable number ofminutes; and as Mrs. Larue left the room the sense of opportunity rushedupon him like a flood of temptation. He forgot in an instant that shewas poor, that he was poor and extravagant, and that a marriage would bethe maddest of follies, compared with which all his by-goneextravagancies were acts of sedate wisdom. He was now what he always hadbeen, and what people of strong passions very frequently are, the victimof chance and juxtaposition. He rose from the sofa where he had beensitting and worrying his cap, walked straight across the room with afirm step, like the resolute, irresistible advance of a veteranregiment, and took a chair beside her.

  "Miss Ravenel," he said, and stopped. There was more profound feeling inhis voice and face than we have yet seen him exhibit in this history;there was so much, and it was so electrical in its nature, at least asregarded her, that she trembled in body and spirit. "Miss Ravenel," heresumed, "I did intend to go to this battle without saying one word oflove to you. But I cannot do it. You see I cannot do it."

  Such a moment as this is one of the supreme moments of a woman's life.There is a fulfillment of hope which is thrillingly delicious; there isa demand, amounting to a decree, which involves her whole being, herwhole future; there is a surprise,--it is always a surprise,--which isso sudden and great that it falls like a terror. A pure and loving girlwho receives a first declaration of love from the man whom she hassecretly chosen out of all men as the keeper of her heart is in acondition of soul which makes her womanhood all ecstacy. There is not anerve in her brain, not a drop of blood in her body, which does not godelirious with the enthusiasm of the moment. She does not seem really tosee, nor to hear, nor to speak, but only to feel that presence and thosewords, and her own reply; to feel them all by some new, miraculoussense, such as we are conscious of in dreams, when things arecommunicated to us and by us without touch or voice. It is a merepalpitation of feeling, yet full of utterances; a throbbing of happinessso acute and startling as to be almost pain. That man has no justcomprehension of this moment, or is very unworthy of the power vested inhis manhood, who can awaken such emotions merely for a passing pleasure,or blight them afterward by unfaithfulness and neglect. In one senseCarter was as noble as his triumph; he was not a good man, but he couldlove fervently. At the same time he was not timorous, but understood heralthough she did not answer. Precisely because she did not speak,because he saw that she could not speak, because he felt that no morespeech was necessary, he took her hand and pressed it to his lips. Thecolor which had left her skin came back to it and burned like a flame inher face and neck.

  "May I write to you when I am away?" he asked.

  She raised her eyes to his with an expression of loving gratitude whichno words could utter. She tried to speak, but she could only whisper--

  "Oh! I should be so happy."

  "Then, my dear, my dearest one, remember that I am yours, and try tofeel that you are mine."

  I shall go no farther in the description of this interview.