Senna's Secret

by Karen Tjebben

  “That sounds good,” Dahlia replied casually. She didn’t want to push it. After graduation, Senna and Josh’s relationship dissolved. Senna never explained why they’d broken up, but Dahlia planned to find out. Hopefully it was something they could work through, because Dahlia knew they would be perfect for each other.

  Mark could feel the tension in the room building. Senna’s facial muscles were clenched, and her discomfort was obvious. He did the only thing he knew to do. Redirect the conversation. “Hey, I’m not working for free. You’re buying pizza tonight, right?”

  Senna nodded, grateful for the change in conversation. “And beer. It’s already chilling in the fridge.”

  2

  Senna walked to the balcony with her steaming cup of coffee in one hand and her cinnamon roll in the other. Pulling open the sliding door, she stepped outside. The sun was beginning its daily trek across the sky. It rose out of the ocean and set over Hope Sound every day. This morning was no different.

  The ocean breeze kissed her cheeks and tossed her long, honey blonde hair about. She didn’t mind the strands fluttering against her lips or obscuring her view of the Atlantic Ocean. This was what she missed. The beach, the smell of the water, the caress of ocean air on her skin, the crash of the waves. This was her little piece of Heaven.

  When she lived in California, she was close enough to enjoy the beach when the pull called her, but she couldn’t immerse herself in the ‘salt life’ in a reclaimed desert. There was no ocean or any type of large body of water in the immediate area where she lived. It felt good to be near the water again.

  In California, a condo like this one would be over a million dollars and half the size. In Avenel, it was still pricey, but she could afford it. Being an accountant, she was careful with her finances and understood the time-value of money. She considered the purchase of her condo as an investment. Her two-bedroom, two bath unit with ocean views was perfect for her. The second bedroom gave her an office that would also function as a guest room when needed. The building was relatively new, so everything was in good condition. It even had covered parking on the first two floors of the building. The first level of condo units began on floor three. She lived on the sixth floor and had unobstructed views. This was the perfect place for her.

  Taking a sip of coffee, she then placed the cup on the wrought-iron patio table and sat in one of the chairs with her plate in her hand. Using the edge of her fork, she cut off a section of the cinnamon roll and popped it into her mouth.

  God bless Dahlia and her bakery. This was the best cinnamon roll Senna had ever tasted. The sweet frosting and cinnamon mixed with butter layered between the sections of the breakfast dessert had her moaning in pleasure. She’d warmed it up in the microwave, so everything was soft, gooey, and melted in her mouth. She decided then and there to stop at Dahlia’s Delights, the best bakery in Avenel, for some bread and other treats later in the day. She could go with her dad after dropping off the moving van and treat him to something sweet.

  As she ate, her mind raced with all the secrets she’d stuffed away ten years ago and hoped to never see again. She’d mastered the art of denial. If she didn’t want to think about something, she locked it away and shoved it deep into a trench in her mind where it could never surface. But after moving back to Avenel, her plan of denial was looking like a bad idea. How could she deny something when everywhere she looked reminded her of the past? She should have dealt with these issues a long time ago. Not everything was solely her fault, but she bore the responsibility for how she mishandled the situation.

  Finishing her coffee and cinnamon roll, she made her way back inside. The main room was now significantly cleaner. She’d made her way through at least half of the boxes last night with Mark and Dahlia’s help. The television hung on the wall above a cherry entertainment center. A coffee table sat in front of a sofa with matching side tables. The dining area was defined by the farmhouse table and chairs that separated the kitchen counters and cooking space from the living room.

  This morning, her main goal was to grocery shop and get the rest of the condo set up. She hadn’t given herself much time to get settled. Her first day of work was tomorrow. There was no way she’d have everything finished in the condo, but at least she’d have the bulk of it done. She would chip away at the rest of it at night.

  She trudged into her bedroom and slipped on a pair of yoga shorts and a tank top. Most people would be at church at this time on a Sunday morning or sleeping in, so she didn’t put much effort into her looks. Running her hands through her hair, she gathered her tresses and secured her hair into a messy bun. This would have to do for the day.

  It felt odd driving down the main strip of town to the grocery store. Although Avenel was a small area, a lot had changed over the past decade. A handful of condo and apartment buildings looked large and out of place in the small town she remembered.

  She pulled into the shopping center parking lot and found a space near the grocery cart return. She tapped open her notes section on her cell to find her grocery list. It was long, very long.

  All she had in her condo was the bare minimum. A few slices of pizza, leftover beers, some soda, and coffee summed up her groceries. Her grocery bill for this trip was going to be astronomical. She doubted she could get everything on her list into her grocery cart. For now, she’d focus on the necessities and then make another trip one night after work.

  As she stepped through the sliding doors into the grocery store, the cool air sent goose bumps rushing along her skin. If the entrance was this chilly, she’d need a parka to shop in the refrigerated sections of the store. She regretted not grabbing a cardigan to ward off the chill.

  She plugged her earbuds into her cell phone, found her Kindle app, and started the audio book. The narrator’s voice flowed with a soft cadence as the story unfolded.

  She grabbed the handle of a grocery cart and jerked it free from a line of carts and headed towards the food. The colorful selection of fresh fruits and vegetables called to her. Eating healthy was important to her. She grabbed a plastic container of pre-washed greens for salads and piled other salad add-ons into the cart. She’d be sure to snag a container of pre-cooked chicken strips to use for lunch. She made her way through the fruit section and then skipped the bread aisle. She’d stop by Dahlia’s Delights later and get her friend’s bread. It was the best on the island.

  She slowly made her way down the aisles, completely lost in her book while whittling away at her list. She grabbed necessities like pasta and sauces, peanut butter and jelly, and other must haves when setting up a home. Completely absorbed in her book, she deleted the items on her list as they landed in her cart.

  Coming to the end of an aisle, she made the turn too quickly and the front of her cart clanked into the cart of another shopper headed her way. She startled as the carts hit. The impact reverberated up her arms. She grit her teeth in automatic response to the discomfort. Embarrassed, her gaze darted to the driver of the other cart as she tugged out her earbuds.

  Josh Turner.

  Her world slowed and time stopped. She recognized the man’s face instantly even though it had been a decade since she’d seen him. Where his face had been smooth and unlined in high school, fine wrinkles now etched the area near his eyes as he smiled. And god, his smile turned her knees to jelly. She clutched the push bar of the grocery cart and tried to get her breathing under control.

  She wasn’t ready to see him yet. She’d put zero effort into her looks before leaving the house.

  Swallowing hard, she began, “Hey, Josh. It’s good to see you.” That was about all she could get out as her eyes took in his form. His six-foot stature had muscled up in his adult years. As a teen, he’d always been tall and lanky, but now he had the body of a man who could handle hard work. His skin was nicely bronzed, a common side-effect of living at the beach. His arms were defined and muscled too. Just resting an arm on the cart had one bicep on display as it propped up his weight. Firm calve
s and strong thighs made her mouth go dry. She knew he had a job that required physical labor. From the looks of his body, he had to be good at his job.

  Damn, the boy had definitely grown into a man.

  She wanted to run her hands through his wavy hair to see if it was as soft as it had been in high school. His sun-bleached, golden-brown tresses were just long enough on the sides to show the waves that transitioned to curls around his collar. And those hazel eyes of his were roving over her body, assessing how she’d changed over the past decade.

  Her eyelashes fluttered as she organized her thoughts. This was terrible. A nightmare.

  She knew their paths would cross eventually. She just hadn’t expected it to be today. Her hair was a mess, and she hadn’t even brushed her teeth.

  God, she couldn’t believe that this was how she looked for their first meeting, or more accurately, their first run-in. She wanted to disappear behind the mountain of soda boxes in the middle of the aisle.

  Josh couldn’t believe his eyes. He’d heard she was coming back, but he hadn’t known when. And here she was. Her honey-blonde hair was piled into a bun with random strands sticking out in all directions. The curves of her body took him on a slow trip through memory lane. She’d been his first. They’d explored each other’s bodies as seniors in high school. Damn, he’d worshipped her back then, the soft give of her breasts and the immense pleasure as she toyed with his cock had consumed him.

  Now they were adults. Her breasts were fuller than they’d been in high school. Her once perky breasts were cradled in her tight tank top and considerable cleavage peeked out. They’d easily fill his hands now. Her waist narrowed, but then her hips flared out, almost screaming that their role was to give him something to hold onto while they made love. And the tight little yoga shorts molded to the curves of her ass. Damn, his dick had a great memory and perked up at the sight of her.

  “Hi, Senna,” he began. “I heard you were coming back to the island. It’s good to see you.” Things had ended abruptly between them after graduation. He didn’t know what had happened, but she’d suddenly cut him off. He’d reached out to her, but she didn’t return his calls or texts.

  Her avoidance and indifference towards him had messed with his head and gave him a general distrust of women. She’d taught him that things could be wonderful one day and hell the next. It had taken him years to realize that not every woman was a selfish siren who would toss him aside when she was finished with him. After a few months of silence, he acknowledged her total rejection and left her alone. He’d finally decided to save face and pretend she didn’t exist.

  It was no surprise that things felt awkward now. At the time, he figured she’d moved on from him and found another guy in California. Her silence had angered him. The powerlessness to get her to acknowledge him through text or phone call had damaged him to the core. He’d debated flying out to California and confronting her, but he’d decided to avoid that humiliation. She didn’t want him, and he wasn’t going to beg.

  As the years passed, his anger had cooled to indifference. Maybe it was maturity, but he held no anger towards her now. They’d been eighteen, and college-aged adults make plenty of stupid decisions. All of that stuff happened in the past, and that’s where it would stay.

  She took a slow breath in and then said, “It’s nice to see you, too.” She awkwardly motioned towards herself and added, “I look a mess. I just popped out of bed and needed to get groceries.” She stopped talking and reminded herself that it was good that she ran into him. This meeting was going to happen, and now that it was over with, she wouldn’t have to dread it anymore. She should just relax.

  “What are you up to?” he asked. Being in her presence unleashed a swell of emotions that he hadn’t expected. He’d thought he was over her. He hadn’t thought of her romantically for years. Sure, it had taken him a while to get over her, but his heart had healed. Now that she was living in the small town of Avenel again, their paths would occasionally cross. As far as he was concerned, they could have a respectful, civil relationship.

  She let out a bark of a laugh. “Right now?” she paused, cringing at the way she sounded. Did he hear the shake in her voice? Damn, just being in his presence messed with her head and heart. All their ‘firsts’ crashed through her like a giant tsunami and destroyed the barriers she’d erected around her heart.

  “I got into town yesterday. Today I’m trying to get everything in order and put some food in my kitchen. My first day of work is actually tomorrow. I’m an accountant.” Did she sound like she was reading from a check-list?

  He cocked his head and nodded. “You always were good at math. You have to love that,” he paused, then added, “Accounting, that is. The order and preciseness of keeping all the numbers in their correct place.” Is that what she’d done to him once they were done with high school? Had she relegated him to her ‘completed’ column and moved on?

  She rolled her eyes in embarrassment. “You know me. I can channel a little OCD.” In high school, everyone had teased her for her anal ways. She’d hated the way it affected her friendships, but now she saw the benefits of her OCD. She was independent. People could rely on her. She’d turned an obsessive weakness into a strength.

  His gaze roved over her again as he relished the memories that he’d made with her. But then a touch to his arm tore him from memory lane and put him back in the here and now.

  A brunette sidled up next to Josh and slipped her arm around his waist. She was tall, thin, and had perfect facial symmetry. Senna couldn’t help but wonder if the woman had perfected her looks with the handiwork of a surgeon.

  God, had living in California jaded her? The state was full of beautiful people. It was hard for an ‘au naturel’ woman to compete with the glorified women produced by the plastic surgery industry.

  She’d hoped to put that shallowness behind her on Avenel. She was pretty, but she couldn’t compete with women who’d paid thousands to perfect their looks. Apparently, model-worthy women lived on tiny islands too. And of course, the beauty would be with the one guy that Senna hadn’t gotten over. Maybe never truly get over.

  With a well-rehearsed smile, the brunette began, “Hey, Josh, can you introduce me to your friend?”

  Josh turned to look at the beauty on his arm. “Lia, this is Senna Lang, Mark’s sister. You’ve heard me talk about him.”

  Senna’s smile faltered at the indifferent introduction. She didn’t even warrant the ‘my friend from high school’ label. No, she was introduced as someone’s sister, lumped in with acquaintances and people you nod a greeting to across the room but don’t bother mingling with. If that didn’t downplay her significance in his life, she didn’t know what would. She hadn’t expected him to declare her to be his first, but she had hoped to be defined as a friend.

  Motioning towards Senna, Josh added, “And Senna, this is Lia Page.”

  Lia graced Josh and then Senna with a smile, but she noted that he hadn’t labeled her as his ‘girlfriend’ or some other title that proved they were in a relationship. That stung. “It’s very nice to meet you,” Lia said.

  “Thank you.” Senna nodded her head and continued, “It’s nice to meet you, too.” She tried desperately to recall someone named Lia Page from high school, but no one came to mind. Wrinkling up her face in curiosity, she asked, “Did you go to high school with us?”

  Lia clutched her chest and shook her head. “Oh, goodness, no. I’m from Clearland, on the mainland. Josh and I met on Truelove.com.”

  Truelove.com. Senna was familiar with the dating website. Some of her friends in California used it and actually found their spouses. Had Josh found his future spouse? Was she staring at the future Mrs. Turner?

  Since it was so early on a Sunday morning, Senna assumed the woman had spent the night with Josh. She was shocked by the pang of jealously that slipped between her ribs and jabbed at her heart.

  Senna forced her lips into as natural a smile as possible and said, “Oh, t
hat’s cool. I hear Truelove is better than some of those other apps that are just a way to find hook-ups.” The three of them stared at each other awkwardly. She cringed on the inside. Why had she put it that way?

  Lia gasped, “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m not a ‘hook-up’ kind of girl.” The awkwardness did not subside with her comment. She continued, “Besides, Josh is a keeper.” She nestled herself against him.

  “Yes, he is,” Senna replied, hating the fact that she’d tossed him aside all those years ago. If she’d been honest with him, would they still be together today? Could they have worked things out?

  She fiddled with her earbuds and then held her hand up, showing the earbuds. “It was good seeing you, Josh. And nice meeting you, Lia. I have a lot I have to do today,” she tilted her head from side-to-side and continued, “You know, moving back and starting work tomorrow. I better get going. Have a great day.” She tossed her hand up in a lame wave.

  “Yeah, you too,” Josh said while Lia nodded silently beside him. “See you around.”

  Senna pushed her cart down another aisle and then stopped. Cramming her earbuds into her ears, she realized that she hadn’t stopped the audiobook while talking with Josh. She had no idea what was going on in the book, but honestly, she didn’t care.

  She bit the inside of her cheek to compose herself. As much as she hated that she was so unprepared for their first meeting, she could rejoice in the fact that it was over. The next time their paths crossed, it would be easier. She had no doubt about that.

  3

  Josh checked the time on his cell phone. Another hour before Lia would leave. When he got out of bed this morning, he’d been sad at the thought of Lia driving back to Clearland. Although their relationship was relatively new, his feelings for her were real. She had a great personality, was intelligent, and their sexual chemistry was off the charts. They’d been going at each other like they were teens who’d just discovered the wonders of sex. But after running into Senna, he felt as if a hurricane had swept through the sentimental part of his brain and messed everything up.