Cole: A Boulder Series Novella

by Eve L Mitchell

  I headed out to the patio. Matt was staring at Ari, reprimanding her. I heard her defend herself.

  “It’s my fault.” I stopped their conversation. Matt tried to argue but was cut off when Theo came out. Seemed his dad hadn’t been easy on him either. Shortly after Connor came out, he looked like he had been through hell. I wondered what our dad had said to him when I left them? From the looks of him, it hadn’t been pleasant. I listened as he apologised to all of us. I wanted to tell him it was okay, but I couldn’t make that call without Matt and Theo agreeing. Hell, even Ari had been hurt by his actions, she needed to agree to forgive him too. As my friends forgave my brother and some of the tension eased from the table, I watched Ari. She was struggling with Theo and Matt’s gentle teasing and when Mary Ellen came out to get her to go phone her grandparents, she looked too eager to leave us.

  “She’s going to feel guilty for a long time.” Matt frowned after her.

  “Yeah,” I agreed.

  Mrs Green brought out more food and coffee. The guys dug in as I helped myself to coffee. Was she okay? I thought idly.

  “I need a shower,” I stood. “I was in the basement when they turned up. I probably stink.” I left them to their breakfast and headed to my room to clean up. Once I was showered, with clean clothes on, I left the sanctuary of my room. Matt’s door was open and I could hear Ari talking to her grandparents. Despite telling myself not to do it, I slipped into his room. She was facing the wall, her head in her hand, so I sat on the chair in the corner and waited.

  When she finished the phone call, she turned and jumped slightly when she saw me sitting there. “You startled me.”

  I waited. I wanted to see what she would say after yesterday. She bit her lip. I couldn’t move past her teeth tugging on her bottom lip; I wanted to bite on that lip. Did she know what she did to me? She seemed to because she stopped. I moved my gaze away from her slightly swollen lip to look at her, taking in her rosy cheeks. Did she know I could hear her uneven breathing? Why must we continue to do this stupid dance? Sitting here, watching her watch me, I knew she wanted me as much as I wanted her. My memory flashed back to the funeral, when she had been on my lap, her hands in my hair.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Me too baby, but not for what you’re thinking.

  “Colton, I just…” She sighed. “I’m sorry I betrayed your trust.”

  I couldn’t answer her in that moment, because all I could think about was how she tasted that day. How it had felt as she moved over me. Fuck, I was going to embarrass myself. How the hell would I talk myself out of that?

  Ari jumped to her feet and crossed the room. “Anything?” she snapped at me from the door.

  I’ve got something but I don’t think you would appreciate that just now.

  “Forget it.” She opened the door, ready to march through it in anger when she stopped. “I truly am sorry.” She slipped out as quietly as I had come in.

  I hadn’t spoken a word to her, she must think I was a dick. I needed to stop thinking of the past and getting distracted and concentrate on us.

  I stood in my bedroom as I watched Jay’s truck pull out of the drive. He had turned up, again, like the bad penny he was, wanting to see ‘his girl’. I couldn’t believe she left with him. I wasn’t wrong; there were feelings between the two of us. When I had confronted her in her room, she told me she couldn’t do this dance anymore. We were too complicated. I knew this, we were complicated but after the weekend and the fact she had reached out for help to Mary Ellen, I knew now more than ever that I needed her. I would face my brother and tell him how I felt, I would even sit down and have the conversation with my dad. I would rather tell Connor than tell my dad, I thought ruefully. Did I have the conversation with them first or with Ari? No point telling them if she wanted to stay with scumbag of the century.

  “Hey.” Matt stood in the doorway, before crossing the room to stand beside me.

  “She left with him,” I muttered.

  “I know, I have no idea what she’s thinking,” Matt sighed.

  “Maybe she actually wants to be with him.” I snorted in derision. “Would serve me right, I haven’t been honest with her.”

  “Bullshit,” Matt protested. “Okay we kept things from her, but you knew she would never keep it to herself.”

  “Everything should be fixed but she still leaves with him,” I growled. “I can’t believe it.”

  “We can talk to her later, but your dad wants you downstairs. He already has Connor in there.” Matt’s face said it all, Jake Dawson wasn’t finished with his sons.

  “Ah shit, I knew it was too good to be true,” I muttered bitterly as we left my room to go downstairs. Dad and Connor were in the dining room, Dad told me to close the door behind me. “Everything okay?” May as well start optimistically, I thought to myself.

  “I want to talk to your brother, we need to get to the bottom of this acting out.” Dad was regarding Connor with concern.

  “I’m fine Dad.”

  “No, you’re not.” Dad looked at me for help.

  “You know you can talk to us Con.” I sat beside him. “You have to know that you were reckless and although you’ve always had a flair for the dramatic,” I teased, gratified that Connor smiled, “this was really stupid. You’re not stupid little brother. I have to admit, I’ve been struggling to understand what you were thinking.”

  “I don’t believe it was just because Colton and I were in Japan,” my dad added. “You’ve never been jealous of your brother, taking him on a business trip to Asia isn’t going to make you start now.” My dad glanced at me and then sat back, before taking a breath. “Is this because of the girl?”

  My head snapped to my dad, incredulous. He was not going to let Connor use Ari as an excuse.

  Connor kept his head bowed and I felt my fists clench in apprehension at what he was going to say. “I don’t know.”

  No, no, no. I’m not buying this.

  “Can you talk to us about it?” I was legitimately going to strangle my father.

  Connor sighed as he straightened up and leaned back in the seat. He looked at Dad, then me, and then back to his feet. “It’s not Ari.”

  Thank you, brother.

  “I don’t know what it is,” he continued. “I just feel so angry sometimes that I do stupid things.”

  “What are you angry about?” I asked.

  “Stupid stuff, stuff that doesn’t matter.” His eyes remained on the floor. “Like you going to Japan and me staying back here, because I’m not good enough.”

  “Connor, you know that’s not true.” My dad was alarmed. I felt conflicted; if this was true, then he had managed eighteen years hiding his jealousy of me. However, I knew my brother, the only thing he had ever been jealous of between us, was that I remembered our mom better than he did.

  “It’s not true,” I replied to my dad. “You gave him that excuse when you mentioned the trip a few minutes ago.” Connor snapped his eyes to me; I could see his indignation but also guilt. Busted, no one knows you better little brother. “Now why don’t you tell us the truth, we’re not going to judge you, we only want to help you.”

  “I genuinely don’t know what it is though,” Connor protested, raking his hands through his hair he looked between the two of us in frustration. “I just get angry and need to do something stupid. Or I feel frustrated and feel like I’m coming out of my skin.”

  “So…you’re just acting out?” My dad looked at him perplexed.

  “Knock knock,” Mary Ellen came into the dining room. “How are you boys doing?”

  “We’re having a family meeting.” My dad smiled at her tightly. I shouldn’t have to tell him that this wouldn’t work on Mary Ellen, she was a force to be reckoned with at the best of times. If this wasn’t concerning my brother, I would sit back and watch the show.

  “Well isn’t that wonderful.” Mary Ellen sat down beside Connor and took his hand.

  “Mary Ellen…” my dad began
but she ignored him. I smiled; I couldn’t help it.

  “How are you?” she asked Connor, he shrugged in response. “Now Connor, I know I taught you better than that.” Connor straightened in his seat automatically as he mumbled an apology. “Want to talk to me hun?” She ran her hand over his hair, straightening it from where he had run his hands through it.

  “We are talking,” my dad said in exasperation.

  “Of course you are.” Mary Ellen smiled at him before turning back to Connor. “I heard a little bit of what you were saying before I came in.”

  “You were listening at the door?” My dad was astounded.

  “Not intentionally, I was passing.” She didn’t so much as blush. “Colton should close doors better.”

  “I did close the door.” I smiled in amusement at Matt’s mom, she was a slippery one when she wanted something.

  “Let’s not get caught up in details.” She waved off any further discussion. “I heard a little bit of what you were saying,” she continued. “I think you need to talk to someone,” she hesitated, “a professional.”

  “You want me to go to a shrink?” Connor protested as he stared at her.

  “A therapist,” Mary Ellen corrected him. “You may need a few counselling sessions, or it may be that you need psychotherapy or some more in-depth therapy, but we need to make sure we do what’s best for you Connor.” She still held his hand and was speaking to him gently.

  My own thoughts were reeling; he didn’t need therapy. Did he? I glanced at my dad and he seemed to be of the same frame of mind as me.

  “Mary Ellen,” Dad objected. “That’s a bit extreme. He just needs to learn to walk it off, count to ten or something.”

  “And that something is talking to someone.” Mary Ellen shot a sharp look to my dad before turning back and smiling encouragingly to Connor. “Someone who isn’t a family member or friend, but is neutral and won’t judge you, but will listen. Where you can talk freely and openly.”

  “We would listen,” I objected slightly.

  “Yes, but how do you know what you’re hearing isn’t filtered for you.” She squeezed Connor’s hand. “No, a therapist is better. I can make calls and get an appointment set up for you.”

  Connor was staring at their joined hands, then to my surprise, he nodded. If my jaw had dropped open, I wouldn’t have been surprised. “Okay.”

  “What?” Dad was as surprised as me. “You want to go to a therapist?”

  “It may help. I can’t go on like this,” Connor sighed heavily, he looked at me and shook his head. “You could have been seriously hurt, or Matt, or Theo…” he took a deep breath. “For what? Because I was reckless? I don’t even understand why!” He let go of Mary Ellen’s hand as he got to his feet. “I can’t even explain myself to you, or you Dad. I don’t know why I did it.”

  “I think therapy is a great idea,” I stood and pulled my brother into a hug. “If you want to do this, then I fully support you.” Connor returned my hug as I looked at my dad over his shoulder, I widened my eyes at my dad for him to say something.

  “Of course, we support you,” Dad confirmed.

  “Excellent, I’ll make some calls.” Mary Ellen beamed at Connor. “And while I’m doing that, Jake, we need to change the Trust Fund signatories.”

  “Let me guess,” Dad said dryly. “You?”

  “Of course, me.” She stood and smoothed her skirt. “I honestly wonder about you sometimes Jake. Colton? Really? He’s a child.”

  “I’m nineteen,” I protested.

  “Yes dear, and you’re very mature…sometimes. This episode of fighting we won’t mention of course, it doesn’t help your case for maturity.”

  “I need coffee,” I muttered.

  “I need something stronger,” I heard my dad say as I left the room. I snorted out a laugh as I headed to the kitchen.

  “Mom take over?” Matt asked me from the kitchen bench he was leaning against.

  “Yeah.” I shook my head in mock despair. “Did you doubt it?”

  “Never.” He grinned at me as I started making coffee. “Con okay?”

  “Yeah, I think he will be.”

  “That’s all that matters then.”

  “It really is,” I agreed.

  “We just need to fix Bit. Will we get Mom on the case?” He grinned at me as I flipped him the finger. “Seriously, we need to fix that.”

  “I know, but I think we need to let her make her own decisions.” I took a drink of my coffee. “I have faith she will see sense. Eventually.”

  “You sure?”

  “No,” I admitted. “But I have to stop pushing her away.”

  “She’s stubborn,” his voice lowered as we heard people approaching the kitchen.

  I nodded in agreement. Yeah, she was, but that’s one of the things I loved about her. God, don’t let that bite me in the ass, I thought as Connor came into the kitchen.

  Friday night I was sitting in my bedroom staring at the walls. I hadn’t stayed in on a Friday for as long as I could remember. Matt and Theo had left together with some weak ass excuse that I deduced meant they were going to see Ari. I was going to ask them why they weren’t just open about it, but they looked so sketchy, I left them to it. Connor was out with Corey and although he had invited me to join them, I was sick of being someone’s third wheel. I was almost sorry I didn’t have a fight tonight. Now I was just desperate if I wanted to be at The Warehouse instead of at home. Alone. Yeah, I needed to get a grip on reality. My phone buzzed and I was slightly ashamed at the speed that I picked it up.

  Ari: Do you know they are here?

  I grinned, I knew they had been heading there. Why didn’t they just tell me? Shaking my head at the transparency of my friends, I replied.

  Me: Where?

  Ari: Here. Interrupting my, um, date?

  What the fuck was she talking about? What date?

  Me: Are you on a date?

  I read her message again, when she said ‘here’ I assumed she meant her apartment. Was she somewhere else?

  Ari: Why are you asking that? I just said I was.

  Me: You didn’t seem sure. You said date? With a question mark. You can see how I could be confused.

  I was smiling again, she was going to slam me for that.

  Ari: FFS Cole.

  I barked out a laugh as I read it, she hardly ever called me Cole.

  Me: What? I’m confused. Aren’t you an English Major?

  No response, I got up off the bed and headed downstairs, smiling like a fool because she had texted me.

  Ari: Asshat

  Laughing properly now, I pulled out a beer and opened it.

  Me: What is an Asshat anyway? I never understood that particular insult you are so fond of.

  Ari: It’s YOU!!!!!

  Grinning, I answered her immediately.

  Me: You made up a word all for me? Awww, I didn’t get you anything.

  I watched the dots come and go.

  Ari: Are you going to come get them or tell them to leave?

  Hell no baby. They’re doing a grand job where they are.

  Me: Nope.

  Ari: Why?

  I could tell her the truth and just lay it out there, or I could be clever, well cleverer than I had been with her previously.

  Me: They’re happy, leave them be.

  Ari: They’re ruining my night!!!

  Good.

  Me: Are they? You seem to be ok in another room…

  Again I watched her hesitate, the dots came and went, sometimes she was so predictable.

  Ari: How do you know I’m in another room?

  Easy, I know you.

  Me: Because I know you.

  Better than Jay Jonson ever will.

  Ari: I don’t like you.

  I sucked in a breath.

  Me: I know

  I added a sad face emoji with it.

  Ari: Don’t be cute

  Smiling, I replied.

  Me: You think I’m cute?<
br />
  Ari: Will you stop it?

  No.

  Me: Nope

  Ari: You’re as bad as them.

  Me: Worse

  I would have punched Jay by now, Matt and Theo were merely running interference.

  Ari: True! LOL

  I didn’t respond but I wanted to. I wanted to spend the night texting her, interrupting her date. Instead I took my beer down to the TV room and settled in for the night, knowing my best friends were covering my back. Again. I was watching a film later that night when the phone buzzed again. I saw Ari’s name and my smile was immediate.

  Ari: They didn’t leave.

  Me: I figured.

  Now I was playing hard to get? Seriously Cole, get your game on!

  Ari: Matt made me tea and cookies.

  He never made me tea and cookies… I needed to have a word with my best friend.

  Me: Good good.

  That was me getting my game on? Good good, Jesus, I was lame. When I saw she wasn’t answering and after that message, I couldn’t blame her, I returned to the film.

  I was surprised when the phone went about ten minutes later.

  Ari: They won’t leave

  Me: I’m getting de ja vu…

  Ari: Don’t be a dick.

  That made me laugh outright, she was feisty tonight.

  Me: Language Ari…

  Ari: Cole…this is crazy.

  What was she referring to? Them? Us? Could it be us?

  Me: …?

  There was no answer, that was disappointing. I frowned as I waited, then I tossed the phone to the side of the couch. The buzz went again. Ignore it.

  Ari: Matt is going to sleep in my bed…with me

  Not if he wanted to live he wasn’t, was my immediate thought. Then I realised she was trying to get a reaction, I grinned as I replied.

  Me: Better him than Theo

  Ari: Seriously?

  So, not the reaction she was hoping for. That made me happy.

  Me: Theo snores.

  Ari: You sleep with him often?

  Sassy Ari was fun.

  Me: Matt’s a snuggler.