BOOTY HUNTER

by Huss, JA

  Quite literally.

  This man will never see my true color if I can help it.

  CHAPTER NINE - SERPINT

  “Let’s go then.”

  Lyra snorts. “I need clothes. I’m not going anywhere in your underwear. Which is not fashionable, by the way.”

  I give her a slow blink. “You organized my closet, correct?”

  “So?”

  “So you saw what I own. If you’d like to help yourself to a pair of my tactical pants, go for it.”

  “What I’d like to do is help myself to your auto-shopper and pick out something that fits.”

  I can’t even manage a laugh. It just comes out as a half huff of contempt. “No, princess, that’s not in your future. You’re a giant pain in my ass and you’re lying. Servants don’t get rewarded with auto-shoppers when they lie.”

  “The AI said—”

  “The AI lied and we both know that. And the second you get back you’re going to eat that fruit and I’m gonna—”

  “You’re gonna what?” She takes a step towards me. “Make me glow?” She manages the laugh I couldn’t and then whispers, “I don’t think so.”

  “Well. Then I guess you go as you are. Ready? Because if we miss this appointment I won’t allow another one.”

  She purses her plump lips at me. Were they always that plump? And are her eyes lighter?

  “Let’s go,” she says. “My barbarically tortured lady parts won’t heal themselves.”

  I wave her forward into the elevator, feeling a little bit of satisfaction that she’s barefoot, wearing my t-shirt with no bra, and sporting my underwear. Which is in fashion here on Harem Station. Everyone knows Akeelian males wear boxers. Our two magnificent cocks require spacious undergarments.

  The door slides closed and we ascend up to the harem room in silence. She’s got her arms crossed over her chest. Probably trying to hide the fact that she’s braless and this elevator is chilly.

  But the ride is short and a few seconds later the door slides open again and she steps out first, her bare feet padding on the cold, dark obsidian floors.

  She stops to look around for a moment. There are at least two dozen girls lounging about on couches, chairs, and in the laps of customers. Everyone turns to look at us, their eyes squinting as they focus in on her, and then the girls without partners begin to whisper behind cupped hands.

  Lyra lifts her chin, looks over to the left where the medical scanner is, and then walks towards it like she’s the one in charge.

  I will say this. She definitely acts like a princess. She might not look like one at the moment, but there’s no way to hide her innate haughtiness. She is used to being in control. She is used to getting her way. She is used to having… power.

  And she’s not giving it up easy.

  “Over here,” I say, guiding her with a hand on the small of her back when she continues to head towards the scanner. “There are private rooms this way.”

  “Imagine that,” she says. “Good to know you have some respect for the girls you imprison here.”

  I just suck in a deep breath and hold in my response.

  The door to the check-in area slides open as we approach and ALCOR says, “Go with the bot, Lyra. Serpint, wait here.”

  “Gladly,” I say, sinking into a plush chair in the corner.

  I need to check on Booty anyway. I stayed there all afternoon but they told me she probably wouldn’t be back online until tonight.

  My thumb and forefinger pinch the air, then spread a data screen open into the space in front of my eyes. Sure enough, the red letters are still blinking OFFLINE.

  Something must really be wrong. Something bad. Something that can’t be fixed with a software update or the usual decontamination procedures. She’s never been offline for more than a couple hours before. And that was when we upgraded her into the current ship. That’s the biggest procedure she’s ever had. So this… this is not good.

  Loud crashing sounds come from down the hallway where the exam rooms are. Then cursing. Which gets louder when a door opens.

  “Oh, hell no. Oh, hell the fuck no.” Lyra appears in the waiting room, shaking her head. “He’s the doctor?”

  I swipe my data screen closed and glance over her shoulder to find the cyborg master rolling his eye. Which is not easy to do since it’s just a red light across his forehead. But he manages it.

  Which kinda makes me smile and ask, “What’s the problem now, princess?” in a fake, condescending voice.

  Which she doesn’t even bother to notice. That’s how angry she is.

  “He’s not touching me! He is not a doctor. He’s a… he’s a sexual predator, that’s what he is.”

  “Lyra,” the cyborg master says in his calm, I’m-a-doctor-voice. “Not only am I wearing a doctor’s coat, but I’m also certified in three thousand, two hundred and seventy-one surgical procedures on seventeen humanoid species. I think I know what I’m doing.”

  “Certified!” she says. Too loud. Too high-pitched. Like she’s about to throw a royal fit. “Certified?” she squeals again. “The bot who did this to me said he was certified too!”

  “Lyra,” I say, tired of this day and unable to hide the fact that she’s wearing me down. “Just—”

  “No! No. No. No. That thing isn’t coming near me again. I’m putting my foot down! I want a real person!”

  She actually stomps her foot.

  “OK.” I sigh. “ALCOR, what should we do?”

  “Lyra,” ALCOR says in a voice that’s far too sweet and understanding for the situation. Usually he just barks orders at temperamental princesses. Does he like the girl? Is he infatuated with her? What is his deal?

  “What?” she snaps.

  “If you don’t want the harem doctor to touch you then I’m afraid your only choice is to have Serpint help with the exam. We do not have human doctors on Harem.”

  She glares at me, but then her eyes begin to shine with what might be tears. Seems like she’s had enough of this day as well. I think this might be her breaking point.

  I stand up and walk towards her, grabbing her hand as I pass, and say, “Come on, I’ll make sure nothing bad happens,” as I pull her back down the hallway.

  There’s a moment just before I enter the room where she hesitates. But I just tug her harder, pull her inside, and then the cyborg master follows us and locks the door behind him after it slides closed.

  Lyra jerks her hand from mine and backs herself up into a corner.

  “For sun’s sake,” I say, rubbing two fingers alongside my temple to stave off a headache. “It’s a fucking thirty-second exam, Lyra. In five minutes you’ll be done, your little problem will be fixed, and we’ll go home.”

  I cringe, realizing my mistake. My quarters are not her home.

  But that’s not what she focuses on. She looks around the room, trains her eyes on the set of laser pens hanging from a holder, and then glares at the cyborg master like she might chop his head off with one of them.

  “Just take off your clothes and get in the scanner,” I say.

  Her head spins to the gyno-scanner. It’s not really that intimidating when it’s in standby mode. Just a long machine the length and width of a body made out of white plasteene.

  “Please,” I say. That headache is in full force now, no matter how hard I rub my temple. I don’t have much fight left in me today. I really don’t. Maybe I should just give this girl back and be done with her? Simplify things? Because I’ve got enough problems of my own. I don’t need some lying, neurotic princess making things worse.

  “Fine,” she whispers, pulling her shirt over her head. And even though I’ve seen her naked—hell, the whole harem has seen her naked, including the cyborg master—he and I both turn our heads.

  A moment later she climbs up into the scanner and we turn back to look at her. Find her biting her lip to stop a whimper, but not really succeeding.

  I glance at the cyborg master and give him a nod to proceed. B
ut just as he’s about to push a little button on the control panel I reach up and grab his hand.

  “No,” I say. “Do not restrain her. She’s had enough of that for one day.”

  The cyborg maser shrugs and presses another button to activate the machine.

  Three things happen simultaneously.

  One. The thin laser-hood arc comes up over Lyra’s head and begins to scan her body.

  Two. The lower part of the machine splits in half and begins to bend, forcing her knees up and her legs open.

  And three. Lyra freaks out, and tries to make a run for it.

  I quickly push her back down and glance over at the cyborg master, who is shooting me an I-told-you-we-needed-restraints look of satisfaction. Also difficult to pull off with only one red slash of an eye.

  “Just… be still,” I tell Lyra. “It’s practically over already.”

  “I cannot believe this is happening,” she whimpers.

  I really do feel sorry for her. It’s rough. I get it. She doesn’t know us. My bot pierced her without her permission—or mine, for that matter—and now she’s in pain and being forced to endure yet another moment of total humiliation in order to get relief.

  But I wasn’t lying when I said it was a thirty-second procedure, and when the scanner stops and the laser hood arc returns to its starting position tucked neatly away behind her head, she just closes her eyes and lets out a breath.

  “OK,” the cyborg master says, looking at the scan on the large wall screen. “Well, it’s swollen.”

  “No shit, genius,” Lyra snaps.

  “There’s my girl,” I say, kinda chuckling.

  “Shut up.”

  “So did the bot fuck up? Or what?”

  “No, actually,” the cyborg master says. Then he points to an image of Lyra’s labia, which has been magnified like… a billion times. I glance at her to see if she’s gonna throw a tantrum about that, but she’s got her hand over her eyes and she’s taking deep breaths. “The piercing is right where it’s supposed to be. Directly behind the lux node. See?”

  I lean in and squint my eyes. “That?” I ask, pointing to a little nub of flesh. “Huh. I always thought that was a clit.”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Lyra wails. “It figures. Stupid men.”

  The cyborg master ignores her and so do I. Because the shit works the same from my experience.

  “The problem is,” the cyborg master continues, “it’s…”

  “It’s what?” Lyra asks. “What’s wrong with it?”

  “It’s like ten times larger than normal. Are you on any medication, Lyra?”

  “What kind of medication?”

  “Anything,” I say, rolling my eyes with frustration.

  “No,” she says.

  But it’s a lie. I’ve only known her half a day but she lies so much, I can tell now.

  The cyborg master knows she’s lying too. Seems like she came in that way.

  “Well, it’s not the piercing,” he says. “So unless you tell me what’s really going on here, the only thing I can do is relieve your discomfort with analgesics.”

  “Cool, let’s do that,” she says, still covering her eyes with her hand. But then she removes it and sits up a little bit. “Not you,” she snaps. “Him.”

  And she points to me.

  I raise my eyebrows at the cyborg master and he just shrugs, reaches into a little drawer, and pulls out a hypo-spray. “Here,” he says, handing me the small cylindrical container. “Spray her with that. But you have to hit the node or it won’t help. Precision is everything in this case.”

  Then he gets up, walks to the door, unlocks it, and leaves.

  “Thank the sun,” Lyra says. “OK, hand it over. I’ll do it myself.”

  “Whatever,” I say, tossing her the tiny canister.

  She catches it one-handed, sits all the way up, and bends over to look between her legs. She sprays it, waits, then shakes her head. “Get that asshole back in here. It’s not working.”

  “You probably missed,” I say, so fucking done with this girl. “Did you not hear the part where he said precision is everything? Give it to me.”

  She pulls her hand away when I reach for the spray, but I snatch it anyway.

  “Look,” I say, any sympathy I had for her gone. “Just lie back and shut your mouth for three more seconds so I can fix this. And then you know what?”

  “What?” she growls.

  “You’re not coming back with me. You’re staying here. I’ve had enough of you.”

  “Good!”

  “Good!”

  “So do it and leave.”

  “I will.”

  I grab the little doctor’s stool, sit my ass down, and slide between her legs.

  “This isn’t happening,” she moans.

  “Believe me,” I say. “The last thing I wanted to do today is play doctor between your legs in an exam room.”

  “It’s your fault.”

  “Ha,” I laugh, leaning in a little to try to find the little lux nub. It’s a lot harder to see when it’s not magnified up to superclit levels. “It’s your fault, princess. You heard the doctor. The bot didn’t fuck up. You’re on something and you’re lying about it. So no, actually. This isn’t my fault.”

  “Just spray it already!”

  “I can’t find it,” I say.

  She laughs so loud I startle backwards in the rolling stool. “Oh, that’s classic.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” I say, inching toward her again. “You’ve got like a million folds of skin down here.”

  “Stop talking about my lady parts or I swear I’ll—”

  “You’ll what?” I snap, reaching in with my fingers to part the soft folds.

  “Ohhhhh,” she says.

  “What?”

  “Oh, my God, no.”

  “No what?”

  She sits up and slaps my hand away. “Don’t touch it.”

  “I have to touch it, Lyra. I can’t see it. Open your legs wider.”

  “No, no, no. I think it’s fine—Oh… oh shit!”

  “What? What the fuck is your problem?”

  She reaches for me, clamps her fingers onto my shoulders with such force I’m pretty sure her fingernails have drawn blood, and opens her mouth in a gasp.

  “What?” I say. “What are you doing?” She pants hard for a few seconds, her eyes wide and… “Are you… are you sparkling?” I ask. Her eyes… they’re not dark anymore. At least not all of them. They’re shooting beams of pink light.

  She just pants again. Then looks down between her legs. Which makes me look too.

  She’s glowing. The most spectacular Cygnian princess glow I’ve ever seen. And it’s pink too.

  “Holy shit,” I say, standing up too quickly. The stool slides out from under me and crashes against the wall. “What the hell is that? Who the hell are you?”

  “Oh, my God. Ohhhhhh…. Oh, my God!”

  “Lyra!”

  “Fuck me,” she says, her eyes wide with… is that desperation?

  “What?”

  “You have to… oh, oh, ohhhhhhhh, myyyyyy Gaaaaaaaad!”

  Then so much happens I can barely keep up. She lunges forward, grabs my shirt, pulls me back with her so she can sit on the table, and then her hands slide down my arms, reaching for the button on my pants. She pops it open and the next thing I know she’s pulling out my cocks.

  Both of them, because somehow in the last five seconds, I’ve gotten hard. And I didn’t finish this morning when I jerked off, so yup. Cock number two is ready for the reward he was denied earlier.

  “You have to!” she says. “You have to. I can’t take it anymore! Please!”

  And OK. Look, here’s how it works. My cocks have needs, and apparently her pussy has them too. And there’s this magnificent pink glow shooting up from between her legs. Which might actually contain some kind of aphrodisiac, because I’m suddenly so hot for this girl, I need to fuck her just as much as she needs me to.
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  I have no idea what’s happening, but then again, I’m a man. An Akeelian man. With needs. And this glowing princess is begging me to take her to the depths of ecstasy.

  So I do what any man in this situation would do.

  I slip my cocks inside her. Both of them, at the same time, right into her glowing, wet pussy.

  She gasps as I do this. Like loud. “Ooooooooo,” she says, her perfect, plump lips making a tight o that seems very erotic for some reason.

  “Oh, yeah,” I say. “Keep making that face.” I don’t know why I say that, it’s dumb. But she either doesn’t hear me or doesn’t care. Because she sits all the way up, scooting her ass towards the edge of the scanner, her legs still bent from the position of the machine, and spreads them wider for me.

  “Serpint,” she breathes.

  “Yeah, baby,” I say, then cringe. For fuck’s sake. Say something good, Serpint! “Yeah, you like this, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” she squeals. “Harder, please. I need to come right now. I feel like I’m gonna die if I don’t come. Right. Now!” She thrusts her hips forward as she says each word, then without warning she wraps her legs around my waist, like she’s begging me to pick her up.

  So I do. I slide my hands under her knees and lift her off the scanner, twirl her around, and crash her back up against the wall.

  “Oh, yeah!” she moans. “Harder!”

  “I don’t know if it gets any harder,” I say.

  “It does,” she whimpers. “It has toooooo! I need to come right—”

  And then she does.

  She comes so hard, her whole body lights up with glow. And there is nothing dim about this glow. This glow is as brilliant as seven suns. It’s an exploding supernova. It’s bright as the birth of a galaxy.

  And it’s pink.

  So fucking pink. Pink like clouds above a sunrise. Pink like tushberries. Pink with sparkles shooting from her eyes like the evanescent bubbles in champagne.

  I come too. Both cocks. Right inside her without a second thought about consequences.

  If someone asks me later how long we got it on in this exam room I’ll just lie. Because two minutes with this girl is all it takes.

  And even after I’m done she quivers in my arms, her legs shaking, her whole body trembling for many, many minutes.