Nothing To Lose

by Steven Suttie

  Lee was Hebden Bridge born and raised. The little market-town in West Yorkshire sits around halfway between Halifax and Todmorden. These were good, strong Yorkshire towns which had made their fortunes around the time Lee’s house had been built. The industrial revolution had seen the fortunes of hundreds of northern towns change beyond all recognition within a generation, when the production of cotton yarn was simplified following the invention of the Spinning Jenny. The new factories and mills sprung up everywhere, replacing the only other jobs that had existed around these parts, which had largely been agriculture based.

  Tiny little villages suddenly became booming towns with new houses, factories, mills and of course, canals and railways, which were built to connect theses new towns with the ports, as global demand for the north’s cotton produce soared. All along the Calder Valley, and across the north of England, the population boomed ten-fold within a decade as people travelled from every corner of the UK to find work in these new industrial towns which were being powered by their endless supplies of coal.

  The cotton industry has all but died in Britain now, as has the coal-mining which fuelled it. The last half of the previous century saw almost all of the mills in Hebden Bridge and those in the surrounding towns and cities in Lancashire and Yorkshire close down one by one, as the industry slowly admitted defeat as other parts of the world “cottoned” onto what the industrial north had mastered for almost two centuries. With the introduction of electricity at the flick-of-a-switch, cotton-yarn production no longer relied on the north’s coal-fields and the mills were replicated in warmer, drier countries all across the globe, in sunnier locations which were much more suitable for the job. The U.S, India and China now dominate the industry, collectively exporting many millions of tons of cotton products every year.

  Most of the former mill towns in the UK have declined, their populations have plummeted and their strong community values have fallen by the way-side as mass unemployment and depression took a firm hold in neighbouring communities such as Burnley, Blackburn and Accrington on the Lancashire side of the Pennines, and Halifax, Sowerby Bridge and Bradford on the Yorkshire side.

  But Hebden Bridge is widely acknowledged as the exception to the rule that former mill towns have become deprived. The town is well known and respected as a very special and extremely unique place. It has continued to be a bustling, busy little town, refusing to die and become what so many of its neighbours have, which is commonly termed as a “shit-hole.”

  Hebden is quite the opposite, thanks in part to the former hippies who were attracted to the area by the rock-bottom house prices when the mills began to close down in the 1970’s. The hippies, it’s said, brought with them a very bohemian attitude which explains the relaxed pace-of-life in this picturesque little market-town. That bohemian attitude is now getting into its third generation and has produced an extremely laid-back, peaceful and tolerant community. It was the chilled-out influence of the hippies, so local legend suggests, which in turn influenced the way-of-life which has become the town’s main selling point, attracting huge visitors numbers to sample this relaxed and cheerful place which sits in between some of Great Britain’s most depressed and declining places. Hebden Bridge is like a gold tooth in a mouth full of decay and infection.

  The place is filled with actors, writers, artists, poets and all manner of creative people. It’s also known as the “Lesbian capital of Britain” thanks to its well-populated and thriving gay community, which is testament to the tolerant and progressive attitude of the people in this part of the world.

  Unique, independent shops selling exclusive products have made Hebden Bridge a town well worth visiting on day trips. In amongst the usual bakeries, charity shops and butchers that every northern town has, Hebden is crammed full with interesting and quirky shops selling everything from antiques, afghan rugs and locally produced artworks to arts and craft shops, along with vintage clothes shops and vegan stores. The locals are fondly regarded for their happy nature and strong community spirit. Many towns could learn a great deal from this random little place on the road between Yorkshire and Lancashire, but they would have to accept that it takes about fifty years for the hippies to turn a dying, former mill-town into such a prosperous, harmonious and peaceful community.

  Lee Riley never experienced the area’s industrial hey-day, it was all over and done with before he was born. At 28 years old, all he really knew about it was that when he was a lad, there were dozens of derelict old mills that he and his friends could play in. It was fantastic, especially on rainy days, of which there were many in this part of the world. The old mills would be full of kids, running around and chasing one another up and down the stairs. They would build dens out of all the old items that had been abandoned, each den containing at least one chair from the old canteen and a handful of ripped-out pages from a dodgy porno mag. Occasionally, another gang would come along and smash the dens up, and in turn, Lee’s gang would go along and smash up their rivals dens, in their mill, at their end of town. It was certainly a lot of fun growing up in an area that was in the process of adapting to enormous social and economic change.

  Lee, and all of his friends left school and found other industries to work in. The mills and the mines which had kept his father’s generation in work were all gone now, and young people learnt to work in the service industries, building, plumbing, sales and retail. Lee became a builder, starting out as an apprentice and slowly but surely learning his trade. Now, at the age of 28, he had his own van and tools and had built up a strong reputation as a reliable and conscientious contractor. As a result, Lee always had work on and was making a very good living.

  But today, Lee was staring out of his window, out across the view that he loved so much. Today, the scenery was out of focus, it was just a huge merge of greens, browns and greys. He looked as though he had tears in his eyes as his girlfriend Olivia opened the front door.

  “Hiya love, alright?”

  “Oh hiya. What are you doing home so early?” asked Lee, surprised to see her home at half-past two. He didn’t seem his usual, chirpy self.

  “Oh, it’s dead at work, no more appointments booked for this afternoon so I decided to close early, can’t be arsed sitting there waiting to see if I get a walk-in.”

  “Oh right.”

  “What’s up with you anyway, misery guts? Why are you home early?”

  “Oh, it’s… Why are you calling me a misery guts anyway?” Lee smiled widely, but it didn’t really affect the low mood he was giving off.

  “I’ve just been watching you as I walked up the hill. You look like you’ve lost a tenner and found a dog-shit!”

  Lee smiled again, but it looked fake. “Nah, just, there’s nowt wrong with me mate! I’m just thinking about this job I’m on at the minute.”

  “Why are you home early anyway? It’s not like you.”

  “Oh, I’m going back in a minute. Just came home for a chill for five. Right, well, I’d better get off then, get back to it.”

  “Well… we could… you know…” Olivia had a cheeky look in her eye as she made her flirtatious suggestion.

  Lee laughed. “Ha ha, no, nice idea, but I need to get on. See you in a bit Liv.”

  “What seriously? You’re knocking me back? You’d rather build a wall than…”

  “Ha ha, don’t be like that. I’ll see you later.” Lee walked over to the door and tried to kiss his girlfriend of four years, but she pulled away, faking offence at her partner’s rebuttal.

  “See you later then. Love you.”

  “Love you too. The band.”

  Lee went out of the house, and down the steep stone steps to the cobbled street and jumped into his van, tears were streaming down his face. His hand was trembling as he put the key in the ignition and started the engine. The van pulled away and drove down the street. He kept driving, down into town and kept going. He drove his van up the hill out of Hebden Bridge, up Peckett Well and onto the tops of the moors which led over
to Keighley.

  Olivia was confused by Lee’s strange behaviour. It wasn’t like him to be home during the day. And it certainly wasn’t like him to refuse a spontaneous offer of hanky panky. He’d been acting a bit weird for a few weeks now, but today’s odd behaviour had really got to her. She decided to call Lee’s sister and share her concerns.

  “Hiya Joanna.”

  “Hi Liv, how are you love?”

  “I’m alright, I’m just… well the thing is, I’m a bit worried about Lee. He’s acting weird.” Joanna could tell from her sister-in-law’s voice that she was genuinely concerned.

  “Why, what’s been going on?”

  “I don’t know. But summat’s up. He was fine this morning, his usual annoying self. But I’ve just got home from work and he was here, just staring out of the window like a zombie. He didn’t even notice me walking up the street, I was waving at him and everything.”

  “Did you ask him what was up?”

  “Yeah, course. But he just denied it, said he was fine. He just went back to work, and I was sure he had tears in his eyes when he got in his van.”

  “Are you sure? That’s not like our Lee.”

  “I know. I just thought I’d ring you and see if you knew what was up with him. I know how close you are.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know, we are. But he’s not spoken to me about anything. Honestly. What do you think is up with him?”

  “I don’t know. Haven’t got a clue. I’ve started worrying though, you know, thinking it’s me…”

  “What’s you?”

  “Well, that he’s getting sick of me or summat.”

  “Don’t be so bloody daft!” Joanna laughed loudly down the phone. “Lee adores you Liv. You know that! He’s madly in love with you, all his mates take the piss out of him, saying he’s punching above his weight having such a gorgeous bird!”

  They both laughed, but Liv still sounded stressed and Joanna picked up on it.

  “Tell you what, I’ll give him a ring. If something’s bothering him, he’ll tell me. That’s what big sisters are for. Right?”

  “Well, don’t make it out as though I’ve been gossiping. But yeah, if you wouldn’t mind. I’m feeling a bit weird about it.”

  “No problem. Enough said. I’ll ring him now, and I’ll ring you back after I’ve had a chat with him. It’s mum’s birthday in a few weeks so I’ll use that as an excuse for ringing him. I’ll phone you back in a bit Liv, try not to worry love. Okay?”

  “Aw thanks Joanna. Cheers.”

  Joanna hung up and stared at the phone for a moment. That had been a very strange conversation. Her brother was a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky type of guy, he never dwelled on stuff. His generic response to any problem was “it’ll be right.” After speaking to Olivia, she was now feeling extremely confused by the call, and her first thought was that maybe Olivia had done something which had upset her brother. After all, she is a stunning young woman with no shortage of male admirers. What if that call had been to try and find out if Lee knew something that she didn’t want him to know? Joanna’s mind was suddenly whirring as she looked up Lee’s number in her phone and pressed the call icon.

  It rang about ten times before it went to answer phone. “Hello, you’ve reached me, Lee, of Lee Riley Construction. I’m either driving or grafting. Leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

  Joanna didn’t leave a message. She rang again. She knew that her brother always had his phone in his pocket so he’d feel the vibrations soon enough. But it went to answer machine again. She dialled again and after the fourth ring, he answered.

  “Lee? Hiya love, you alright?”

  “Yeah, course I am, why what’s up?” His voice sounded flat, and sad.

  “Are you sure you’re okay? Where are you?”

  “I’m alright Joanna. I’m fine.”

  He didn’t sound fine and Joanna’s intuition was always spot on. She trusted her gut.

  “Where are you?”

  “What, I’m… I’m just out for a drive.”

  “Where are you?” Her voice sounded stricter this time.

  “I’m just on the tops, getting a bit of fresh air.”

  “Where?”

  “At the bus terminus. Why, what’s all the fuss?”

  “Stay there. I need a word.” With that, Joanna hung up, grabbed her car keys off the kitchen work-top and scribbled a note on the pad by the kettle. “Had to nip out, make a butty and do your jobs. Back soon. Mum xxx.”

  Joanna got in her car and headed through town, cursing the slow drivers who were dilly-dallying looking for parking spaces. As she got through the tiny town centre, and onto Keighley Road, she put her foot down as her car speeded up the hill, which stood high above the town.

  Five minutes later, she arrived at the bus terminus, a huge piece of tarmac where the buses turned around and headed back down into town. Lee’s van was there and he was sitting in the driver’s seat. He looked pale.

  “Right mate, what the fuck is going on?” asked Joanna as she stepped up into the van and sat in the passenger seat.

  “What, seriously, what the…”

  “Something’s up. I could tell by your voice…”

  “There’s nowt wrong!”

  “So, you’re just sitting here, chilling out?”

  “Yes, that’s all.”

  “But you blanked my calls?”

  “I didn’t hear…”

  “Lee, you’re starting to freak me out. What in God’s name is going on?”

  Lee opened his mouth, he’d been about to protest that all was well, but he thought better of it. He knew that Joanna wouldn’t stop asking until he told her. A harsh silence filled the cab of the van. Joanna wanted to prompt him to speak but she knew it would be better to wait.

  Eventually, he spoke and his voice broke with emotion.

  “I’ve… I’m in trouble. A lot of trouble.”

  This was a strange thing to hear Lee say. He wasn’t the kind of bloke who got into trouble. Never had been.

  “Go on.”

  “Aw, it’s… God, I can’t even say it.” Lee started to cry, something that she hadn’t seen him do since he was a little lad.

  Joanna was starting to panic. This whole scenario was unbelievable. She wanted to know what he’d done, what he’d got mixed up in. But at the same time, she was scared. She wasn’t that sure that she wanted to know. It was obviously bad, and she was genuinely fearful of what Lee was going to say.

  “Come on Lee. There’s nothing we can’t sort. Come on, tell me what’s gone on.” She reached over and touched his hand. The touch of his big sister’s hand, along with her reassuring words broke him down completely and he began sobbing. He was in a state, tears and snot were streaming down his face as he said “oh God,” over and over again.

  Joanna reached into her hand-bag and found a packet of tissues and handed several to her baby brother.

  “Come on mate, clean all that snot off your face.”

  Lee laughed humourlessly as he took the tissues, he felt embarrassed that he was making such a spectacle. Joanna stared out of the windscreen whilst Lee got himself together. She was focusing on the grass in the field opposite as the wind bashed it all around. Her hands were shaking, as her mind raced with different thoughts and scenarios that her brother could have got caught up in. Her first thought was that he was having an affair, but she couldn’t give that idea too much credibility. She knew in her heart that he would never do anything that would hurt Liv. Her second thought was that he might have got mixed up with the wrong crowd. There were a few dickheads knocking about Hebden Bridge, dickheads that Lee knew from school. It was no secret that they were involved in drugs and violence with other dickheads in Halifax and Sowerby Bridge, just up the road. But again, that didn’t seem right. Lee was too clever to fall in with that lot.

  Joanna handed another tissue to Lee. “Come on, get that big booger off the end of your nose!”

  Finally, Lee had calmed
down.

  “A problem shared is a problem halved” said Joanna, but that dread of what Lee was going to say was still there.

  Lee took a deep breath. It was a massive breath and it stressed Joanna out even further, her adrenaline was bursting through her veins. He raised his hands and gripped the steering wheel.

  “Basically… I’ve… God, I can’t even say it.”

  “Come on Lee, I’m shitting myself here. Please, just tell me what’s gone on.”

  He moved his hands up to his face and held them there for a minute. Joanna returned her attention to the grass which was lying flat one way as the wind drove across it, then trying to stand up straight again before another blast of air flattened it all down again. A cyclist raced past, pedalling as fast as he could down the hill, curling himself into a ball to increase his speed.

  “Right, fucking hell I just need to say it. I’ve lost all my money. All my savings, all my credit cards, all my advances for materials. I’m broke. Totally broke. I’m finished Joanna.”

  This announcement was met with a slight sense of relief by Joanna. This was bad, sure, but nothing like as bad as she had imagined.

  “What… how…”

  “Gambling.”

  “Gam…”

  “I know. I know, it’s fucking stupid, I don’t need anyone to point it out. Now I’ve blown five grand that I had for materials for a farm-house extension.” Lee’s voice had got colder and he too was staring out at the grass across the road.

  “Five grand?”

  “Yes. Every penny. Trying to win back what I lost. Now I’m absolutely fucked. I’ll have to close the business. I’ll have to tell the lady whose money it is that I’ve gone bankrupt and her money is gone.”

  The sheer magnitude of Lee’s confession took a while to take on board. A heavy silence filled the air before Joanna spoke, softly.

  “How long has this been going on for?” asked Joanna, mindful not to say anything stupid like “are you a fucking moron?”

  Lee laughed at the question. “That’s the best part. Three weeks.”