The Mysteries of Max: Books 31-33

by Nic Saint

  “What?”

  “I think Bob must have been targeting me specifically. That he must have investigated me and sought me out, knowing I’m Evelina’s sister. That he nudged me into setting him up with her. These people do that, you know. They’re very clever about how they set it up. Make you think it was your idea, but when you look back you realize it was their idea all along and you were set up. And that’s what I think happened.”

  “You think he was after your sister’s money from the start,” said Chase.

  “Absolutely.”

  “So why didn’t he stay with Evelina?” asked Odelia. “If he was after her money a marriage would have made him a very rich man.”

  “But don’t you see? Bob didn’t want a relationship. He just wanted a payday. Quick and easy. Couple of dates and bingo—seventy-five thousand in his pocket.”

  “Can you prove that he was after her money? Or is this just a hunch?”

  “A hunch, mainly. But, like I said, I’m the people person in my family. And my hunches are usually correct.”

  “Except when you met Bob,” said Chase.

  “Yeah, my radar was way off base. Which just goes to show Bob was a real pro. He must have done this kind of thing before.”

  “Tell us about the kidnapping. Do you think he sent those messages to Evelina?”

  “Oh, absolutely.”

  “What makes you so sure?”

  “Well, I don’t know for sure, but if I were being kidnapped, and my life was in danger, I don’t think I’d be smiling and looking as calm and collected as Bob did in that video.”

  “You saw the video.”

  “Evelina showed it to me. I told her to go to the police. That the whole thing was a setup. But she refused. She said that if I was wrong and something happened to Bob, she would never forgive herself.”

  “She’d really fallen for him, hadn’t she?” said Odelia.

  “Yeah, she had,” Emma confirmed. “She was convinced he loved her. The night before he was taken he said he had something important to tell her. More specifically, something important to give her. So she figured it was probably an engagement ring.”

  “She thought he was about to propose.”

  Emma nodded. “So she refused to go the police, and insisted on paying the ransom money, just like they asked her to.”

  “Were you there when she dropped off the money?”

  “I was. We drove out there together. The kidnappers—or Bob himself—had told her to put the money in a plastic bag and tape it off with heavy-duty sealing tape. Like plumbers use? To make sure the bag was completely waterproof. And then to drop it in the McMillan Street canal lock. So we did. Bob probably fished out the bag later.”

  “You didn’t notice anything?” asked Chase. “Anyone watching? Anything suspicious?”

  “Nothing. It was the middle of the night, and there wasn’t anyone around as far as I could tell. But they must have been watching us and come out as soon as we left.”

  “You didn’t stick around to see who picked up the money?”

  “No, that wasn’t part of the instructions. We were to drop off the money and immediately drive off again. So even if we’d stayed, they wouldn’t have shown their faces.”

  “When you heard that Bob had died, what did you think?” asked Odelia.

  Emma heaved a deep sigh. “My first thought? I just figured he must have gotten into a fight with the other crooks about how to divide the money and so they shot him.”

  Chapter 24

  That night the mood at Casa Poole was quite a few degrees below zero. And not just at Odelia’s little home but that of Marge, too. Odelia was still sad that her cats had bluntly refused to come to her wedding, and Marge… Well, Marge apparently was unhappy that Tex had tried to cheat on her!

  I must say it came as a big surprise to me when the news broke of Tex’s infidelity, and so when a family meeting was called, by none other than Gran, of all people, we all felt a little shocked, to be honest.

  Tex. Cheating on Marge? On the eve of his daughter’s wedding? No way!

  “Look, I think we need to make something very clear,” said Gran at the start of the meeting, which was taking place in Odelia’s living room, presumably chosen as the proverbial neutral ground in this case, the entire family seated around the big living room table. “Tex never planned to cheat on you, Marge. And if he’s guilty of anything, it is of being too naive and kind-hearted for his own good.”

  “Oh, Ma, it’s no use,” said Marge. “I know what happened. He admitted it!”

  “Nevertheless, let’s reiterate the facts. Fact one. Evelina’s sister Emma Bezel, née Pytel, convinces Tex to take Evelina out on a date, claiming the woman is suicidal after being stood up by Bob Rector. Fact two. Emma neglects to inform Tex that Bob was in fact kidnapped and subsequently killed. I talked to Emma and she admits she withheld this information on purpose, figuring the kidnapping and murder business would scare off the good doctor.” She turned to Tex. “Emma conveys her apologies, by the way, also about the fact that Evelina stood you up.”

  “Evelina stood me up?” asked Tex, much surprised.

  “You didn’t notice because Scarlett and I broke up your date. But yeah, she stood you up.”

  “But… why?”

  “When Emma informed her she was about to go on a date with you, Evelina said the last person in the world she intended to date was her own doctor. Her exact words were that she found the whole thing ‘extremely icky.’”

  “Icky,” murmured Tex, looking a little stricken.

  “It’s obvious you wanted to date Evelina,” said Marge. “Just look at you. You’re disappointed she stood you up!”

  “I’m not disappointed—just surprised,” said Tex.

  “The point I’m trying to make here,” said Gran, “is that your husband’s intentions were good, Marge. In fact your husband’s intentions were as pure as the driven snow. He thought he was doing a good thing!”

  “Are you seriously taking Tex’s side against your own daughter?”

  “There are no sides in this case.” She placed a hand on her son-in-law’s arm, and said, “I know I don’t always see eye to eye with you, Tex, but I can honestly say that you’re probably the best son-in-law any woman could ever hope to get. In fact I don’t think any woman could have wished for a better husband for her daughter than you. Consider the proof: Tex hears that one of his patients is suicidal after her boyfriend dumped her—ghosted her, in fact. So out of the goodness of his heart he accepts to take her out a couple of times, so she’ll discover that not all men are scoundrels. That there is still goodness in this world, so that she can begin to feel hope again and forget about her plans to end her own life. Aren’t those the actions of a good and kind man? A man whose humanity is legendary?”

  “But—”

  Gran held up her hand. She hadn’t finished her opening statement for the defense yet. “That’s the kind of man Tex is. A good man through and through. And did he consider having an affair? Of course not! Never! He wouldn’t dream of having an affair!”

  “But I—”

  “All he wanted was to be there for his patient in her hour of need. You would have done the same thing if a library client had their library card stolen and you wanted to make them feel good about the world and life in general again, wouldn’t you?”

  “But I don’t—”

  “Of course you would! This man is a saint. A hero. A white knight—whiter than white! A shining example to us all! And if you really think I’m going to stand idly by while you try to besmirch his reputation (which is absolutely golden—golden!) you’ve got another thing coming, young lady!” And to add emphasis to her words, she pounded the table with a soup spoon—presumably in lieu of a gavel.

  “What a speech,” Brutus murmured next to me.

  “Yeah, Gran should have been a politician,” I said.

  “Or a defense attorney.”

  “What’s to besmirch, Max?” asked Dool
ey.

  “To sully,” I said.

  “What’s to sully, Max?”

  “To tarnish.”

  “What’s to tarnish, Max?”

  “Oh, Dooley,” I sighed.

  “So I besiege you, Marge,” said Gran. “Please give this man another chance.”

  “But, Ma!” said Marge.

  “Give. This. Man. Another. Chance, I tell you!” She pounded the table with her soup spoon, emphasizing every word.

  “Can I say something?”

  “No, you can’t.”

  “I just don’t think…”

  “Objection, your honor! Hearsay!”

  “Overruled,” Brutus muttered, clearly enjoying himself.

  Marge, who looked a little teary-eyed I thought, turned to the defendant. “Did you really just want to make Evelina Pytel feel good about herself again, Tex?” she asked.

  “Yes. Yes, I did,” said Tex. “And I know now that it was a stupid, stupid idea, and I should have told you all about it the moment Emma Bezel suggested her cockamamie plan to me.”

  “It sounded like a good idea at the time,” said Gran. “Like a knight of old, Tex flew on winged feet to aid and comfort a damsel in distress. Pretty obvious that he is the Sir Galahad of our time. Or the Jimmy Stewart.”

  For a moment, no one spoke, as Marge seemed on the verge of attacking her husband. Instead, though, she sobbed, “Oh, Tex,” and dove into the man’s arms!

  “Oh, Marge,” Tex said, his voice tremulous.

  “I’m sorry for doubting you,” said Marge.

  “And I’m sorry I embarked on this crazy scheme,” he said.

  Odelia’s eyes were moist, Gran was beaming, Chase was grinning. Even Uncle Alec was blinking away a tear.

  “I think this calls for a celebration,” said Gran. “One marriage saved, and another one about to get going.”

  “I don’t know about that, Gran,” said Odelia.

  “What don’t you know?” said Gran as she stared at her granddaughter.

  Odelia hesitated, then shook her head, and suddenly broke into tears—again! And before anyone could stop her, she shoved back her chair, which clattered to the floor, hurried in the direction of the staircase, and moments later she was stomping up the stairs. We heard a door slam upstairs and Odelia’s dramatic exit was complete.

  “She’s sad because we’re not coming to the wedding,” I told Gran and Marge, who both looked stupefied.

  “What did he say?” asked Chase.

  “That Odelia is sad because the cats are not coming to the wedding,” said Marge. “Is this true? Why aren’t you guys coming to the wedding?”

  “It’s going to be complete pandemonium,” said Harriet. “Seven hundred people and counting. Big screens outside the church. Rock concert atmosphere. Cats don’t like rock concerts, Marge. We don’t like the prospect of being trampled underfoot.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, “but we all think it’s for the best.”

  “This is silly,” said Gran. “We can very easily place you guys at the front of the church, right next to the altar. No one will trample you there. And I’m sure Father Reilly won’t mind having some company while he does his thing.”

  We all shared a look, and Harriet said, “I hadn’t thought of that. Gran is right. Plenty of space out in front.”

  “We’re not coming to the reception, though,” I said.

  “Or the wedding dinner,” Harriet added.

  “Or the party,” said Dooley.

  “Yeah, we’re putting our paw down on that,” Brutus said.

  “No, of course,” said Gran. “Absolutely.” She turned to her daughter. “We better go and talk to Odelia, Marge,” she suggested. “The poor thing is all worked up over nothing.”

  And both women mounted the stairs, in search of the discombobulated bride.

  And thus ended the family meeting-slash-intervention, leaving one marriage happily saved, and a future marriage almost rescued. Not a bad result for an evening’s work!

  Chapter 25

  Marge and Gran found Odelia in her room, seated on the bed and staring before her with unseeing eyes. She did not look happy.

  So her mom took a seat on one side, and Gran on the other, and both started talking simultaneously to get their daughter/granddaughter out of her pre-wedding funk.

  “The cats have conceded,” said Gran. “It’s only natural to feel like this,” said Marge.

  Marge and her mom shared a look, then started again.

  “Your sweethearts are coming to the wedding,” said Gran. “Don’t feel bad,” said Mom.

  Another pause.

  “Look, if we’re going to do this I think we need to lay down some ground rules,” said Gran. “Either you talk or I talk. So what’s it going to be?”

  “You start,” said Mom.

  “The cats have decided that they can be at the wedding after all,” said Gran. “They’ll sit in front, right next to the altar, and join Father Reilly while he gives you his blessing. That way they won’t be trampled and you can enjoy your wedding safe in the knowledge that your precious fur babies are right there with you. Now how does that sound, mh?”

  “Terrible!” Odelia cried, and buried her face in her hands and started bawling.

  “But honey,” said Mom, placing an arm around her. “What’s so terrible about it?”

  “Mom, I don’t want to come to my own wedding. How horrible is that? I don’t want to stand there in front of eight hundred people, not able to enjoy the most beautiful day of my life!”

  “Eight hundred people?” said Gran. “Surely you’re exaggerating.”

  Just then, Odelia’s phone chimed ten times in quick succession.

  Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.

  She pointed at the device from hell. “Ten more people who are RSVPing, even though they weren’t even invited. That takes it up to eight hundred and ten—and counting!”

  Gran frowned at her daughter. “Did you send out eight hundred invitations?”

  “No, I didn’t,” said Mom. “But people keep calling and asking to join the happy occasion, and who am I to disappoint them?”

  “But eight hundred people!” said Gran.

  “It’s too much!” Odelia wailed. “If this keeps up there will be a thousand, or two thousand, or even three thousand, and it’s going to be complete pandemonium!”

  “Honey, honey,” said Mom, “it’s not going to be pandemonium. It’s just going to be…”

  “Too damn much,” said Gran.

  “Look, can you take me off the list?” said Odelia. “You can go and have the wedding, but I don’t want to come. I’ll just stay in bed and Netflix. Me and Chase together.”

  “Chase isn’t happy with this either?” said Gran.

  “Not really. He’s just going along with it for my sake. But I can tell he thinks the whole thing’s gotten way out of hand.”

  “I just thought you’d be happy celebrating with all of our friends and family present,” said Mom, looking a little flustered.

  “I thought I was OK with it,” said Odelia, “but now I’m not so sure.”

  Ding ding ding din ding ding ding ding ding

  “Can’t you turn that thing off?” asked Gran.

  “Not until after the wedding,” said Odelia.

  Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

  “I think something is wrong with it,” said Mom.

  “Nothing’s wrong. Just people wondering why they weren’t invited. Or why their grandmother wasn’t invited. Or their cousins, or aunts and uncles. Or their friends. And how can I say no when they tell me to put them on the list? I don’t have the heart to say nooo-hooo-hoooooo!” She’d collapsed into sobs again.

  “Give me the damn phone,” said Gran, and before Odelia could stop her, she had grabbed the gadget. “Buzz of, buzz off, buzz off, buzz off,” she murmured as she typed. Lucky for her reputation Odelia managed to snatch her phone back from her grandmother’s grasp.


  “Hey! I was solving your problem for you!”

  “You’re not helping, Gran! I still have to live in this town. I still have to do my job. If I start pissing people off now where does that get me? Nowhere!”

  “But we can’t possibly cater to thousands of people, honey. We’re not the Kardashians. We’re not millionaires. Who’s going to pay for all this?”

  Both Gran and Odelia’s eyes turned to Marge, who had promised to pay for the wedding. Marge’s eyes went wide when she realized what all this Ding Ding Ding really meant for her bank account.

  “Oh, no!” she said, and slapped a hand to her face.

  “Oh, yes,” said Gran, grim.

  “This is going to ruin us!” said Mom.

  “Can’t you tell them to take a hike?” asked Gran. “Limit the number of people?”

  “And piss off half of Hampton Cove?” said Odelia. “I don’t think so.”

  When Chase softly knocked on the door five minutes later and carefully opened it, he found three generations of Pooles seated on the bed, all crying their eyes out.

  “I’ll come back later,” he said quietly, and softly closed the door again.

  Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding…

  Chapter 26

  It had been a trying day, filled with emotion and tragic events, but also with plenty of good stuff, like the reception at Town Hall, which had proved a great triumph for Mayor Butterwick. And to top it all off there was of course Odelia who’d suffered some kind of nervous breakdown, as I think the commonly used term is. Marge and Gran, when they’d returned from their consultation with our human, had both looked seriously teary-eyed, though they’d staunchly refrained from commenting on the patient’s current state.

  I felt a little guilty, and so did the others. After all, as far as we could tell it was our refusal to show up for Odelia’s wedding that had triggered this particular episode.