By My Side

by Grant C. Holland

  About ten minutes before closing time with the store empty of customers, Derek stopped in. At first, he was all business. He asked Yale how sales were going. Yale shared the data for the last two days and commented that a few of the regular customers had stopped by and they all bought books.

  Then Derek kicked off the important conversation. He asked, “What is that weird look on your face, Yale?”

  “Weird look?”

  Derek nodded yes. “You look like you’re holding something inside, and you are about to explode. Sort of like when you know your brother’s birthday gift, but you’ve been sworn to secrecy and can’t tell him.”

  Yale was on the spot. He thought that he could blurt it out right then and there, but he had a somewhat better idea. He said, “Well, I have something I want to talk about, but can we go up to the apartment when the store closes and talk about it there?”

  Derek said, “Yes, we can do that, but I don’t have a huge amount of time. I need to get home and look at comments from my editor tonight.”

  “Oh, that’s good that you got the book back.”

  “Well, half the book. He’s still reading over the rest. When I flipped through, I saw a lot of red squiggly marks.”

  Derek’s flat, almost emotionless, voice was making Yale nervous, but Yale was already heading down the road to saying what was in his heart. He shuffled around the space behind the front counter tidying everything up for the next day of business.

  Derek said, “I do think you’ve been doing an amazing job here, Yale. I’m sure Uncle Don would be proud.”

  Yale smiled. “Thanks. I really appreciate hearing that. I’ve heard some similar things from customers, but it’s entirely different coming from you, Derek. It means a whole lot more.”

  * * *

  Yale led the way up the back steps to the apartment. He listened to Derek’s footfalls behind him and his stomach began to do flip flops. He was telling himself inside that he just needed to charge ahead and get the words out. That was his sole responsibility. He just needed to get the message from his heart out into the open.

  As they stepped inside the apartment, Derek said, “This place is looking good, too. It’s all nice and airy inside now. I’m so happy you aren’t living in that dump anymore.”

  Yale mumbled a quick, “Thank you,” and then said, “Come here in the living room and let’s sit. I just need to get something off my chest.” He sat on the couch, and Derek sat on one of the upholstered chairs.

  Derek said, “You’re making everything sound a little ominous, Yale. Is everything okay with your family?”

  Yale said, “It doesn’t have anything to do with my family. It has to do with us.”

  “Us?” asked Derek.

  It was time to blurt it out. Yale said, “Yeah, about us. Derek, I love you.”

  It was out in the open. Just like that. Yale imagined the words like they might appear in a cartoon. They were spelled out in letters through the air, and they immediately took flight slowly drifting up toward the ceiling.

  Derek blinked and then his flat expression slowly melted into a smile. He said, “You know what, Yale?”

  Yale was rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans and asked, “What?”

  “I love you, too.”

  Yale didn’t know what else to say other than, “Oh man, I’m so glad to hear that. I was really worried…”

  Yale’s voice trailed off as Derek spoke again. He said, “But I don’t think it’s that easy. We’ve been good friends, best friends, for a long time now.”

  Yale’s voice was a little ragged when he spoke again, and he was feeling a little light-headed. He said, “Yeah, for a really long time.”

  Derek added, “And I’m a little worried. I’m worried that if we became lovers it could cause problems with our friendship. It might cause problems that we could never fix.”

  Yale almost jumped on top of Derek’s words. He said, “But not being close this last week seems like it’s causing harm to our friendship. It’s been downright painful, Derek. I can hardly stand it.”

  “That’s true,” said Derek.

  “So can we try?” asked Yale.

  A small grin appeared on Derek’s face. He asked, “Do you want to?”

  Yale answered, “Oh, hell yeah.”

  Derek got out of his chair and then sat down beside Yale. He said, “Then I think we should start this way.” Laughing, he leaned against Yale and pinned him against the arm of the couch before planting his lips against Yale’s lips.

  Both men erupted with passion as they set free their animal attraction for each other. While they kissed and twined their tongues together, Derek groped at Yale’s crotch. He could feel the cock grow thick and hard within seconds. Derek pulled back from the kiss and whispered into Yale’s ear, “Somebody’s gonna cum this time.”

  Yale gasped, “Oh fuck,” and he reached for Derek’s shirt pulling it over his head. He asked, “Should we go back to the bedroom?”

  Derek answered, “If we make it there. I’m fucking hot just right here on the couch. Aren’t you?”

  Yale felt his heart thumping in his chest like it wanted to break free. He moaned and said, “Yeah, fuck, I want you all the time, twenty-four hours a day, Derek.”

  “Yeah, I’m right in the same boat with you,” said Derek as he tugged at Yale’s jeans and popped open the button.

  Seconds later they were both naked on the couch with clothes tossed around the floor and over the chair. Yale was lying on his back with Derek pinning him down with the weight of his body. Derek placed his hands on either side of Yale’s head and said, “You are just so damn fucking handsome. You were hot in high school, but fuck, there’s no comparison to now.”

  Yale could feel a huge wave of warmth crash over his body when he heard the compliment. He bit his lip to stop himself from responding with something self-deprecating. He knew that Derek loved him, and the compliment was real. Yale didn’t needed to make it be something less than what was intended.

  Derek rubbed his hands over Yale’s smooth body kneading at his chest while they kissed and rubbed their jeans-covered crotches together. Yale pushed his head back hard against the arm of the couch when Derek began to plant kisses down the middle of Yale’s chest.

  Derek teased at a nipple with his tongue and then turned his head flicking his tongue back and forth at the opposite nipple. They were a particularly sensitive spot on Yale’s body, and Yale knew that Derek had it figured out if he didn’t already know.

  As he slid his tongue down the center of Yale’s abs, Derek reached up with one hand and continued to rub at a nipple. Yale responded with low, deep grunts and moans. Derek’s other hand grabbed Yale’s zipper and pulled it down. Then he took both hands and pulled the jeans down.

  Yale looked up and said, “Oh fuck, Derek, are you gonna…?”

  Yale was usually a bottom when he had sex. He could count the times that someone gave him a blow job on one hand. The thought of seeing Derek going down on him made his cock throb hard.

  “Taste you, Yale? Is that what you’re asking?”

  Yale’s voice was hoarse and ragged. He said, “Yeah..that’s…oh fuck…it.”

  Derek growled, “I’m going to devour you.” He tugged the jeans down over Yale’s hips, and then he reached inside the red cotton briefs and pulled Yale’s thick cock free. Derek stared at it and licked his lips.

  Raising his arms over his head, Yale gripped the fabric of the couch. His whole body bucked when he watched Derek’s tongue touch the head of his cock. Then Derek’s lips parted and began to suck on just the head.

  Yale closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Derek’s mouth and tongue felt so fucking amazing.

  While rubbing and stroking the cock with his fingers, Derek alternately sucked and licked at the head. He wasn’t just sucking. He was making love to the cock. With his free hand, Derek reached between Yale’s legs and up behind to rub lightly at Yale’s puckered hole.

  Popping his eyes open
again and gasping for breath, Yale cried out, “Oh fucking hell.” He moaned loudly and bucked again. Derek’s finger was rubbing in small circles while sucking the cock head deeper into his mouth.

  The finger succeeded in pushing past Yale’s ring and he instantly thought about it being Derek’s cock. He didn’t know if it would be now or in the near future, but Yale knew that he would soon feel Derek’s cock deep inside his own body. It was something that he dreamed of for years. So many dreams were suddenly becoming reality. It was overwhelming.

  Derek slowly pushed further inside with his finger as he began to stroke the base of Yale’s cock with a slow, steady rhythm. Yale yelped, “Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.”

  Yale thought that Derek might stop to tease and edge, but he just continued his slow, relentless sucking and stroking.

  Yale closed his eyes and felt his balls begin to tense. Then the finger found its mark. It pushed against Yale’s prostate knob and began to gently massage.

  Yale closed his eyes tight and gave in completely to the erotic sensations. His body bucked twice, and then a third time. Then he came. His cock erupted into Derek’s throat and his hole clamped tight on the finger. Yale gasped for air and for a moment feared that he might black out.

  Then he slowly regained his breath while Derek pulled off the cock with a smile and gently lapped at it to clean up any remaining mess. In a deep-throated voice, Derek said, “Yale, I love you.”

  17

  Derek

  Derek couldn’t remember a time in his life when he felt so happy. He was trying to think if there were other words, even more superlative, to describe the emotions, but he didn’t come up with anything. Happy was the word, and it was a great description. Derek went everywhere with a smile on his face.

  Sleeping with Yale was one of the best experiences of his entire life. Some nights they had sex, and other nights they just cuddled up naked in each other’s arms and talked. The talking continued just like when they first became friends. The relationship as lovers wasn’t harming their friendship at all. It just made it deeper and, in some sort of way, more real.

  On mornings when he woke up first, Yale insisted on bringing Derek breakfast in bed. He wasn’t much of a cook. The bacon was often floppy and the eggs were a little runny, but it didn’t matter at all. It was the thought in Yale’s heart that mattered and they had decades for Yale to learn how to be a better cook.

  At the grocery store, Derek taught Yale how to pick out a ripe avocado by pushing at the stem and how to choose the right lemons and limes by figuring out if they were heavy for their size. More weight in citrus fruit meant more juice inside.

  They went to Jess’ diner together to eat when Yale had time off. Jess poured them coffee and said, “The two of you are just too damn cute. You make me remember how I was when I was your age. I had my share of suitors, too.”

  Yale said, “I’ve heard rumors that you might have one right now, too.”

  Jess whispered, “Really?” She cast a glance around the coffee shop. Only three other people were eating. They were all solo customers in individual booths. She looked down at Derek and motioned to him. “Scoot over. I’ll tell the two of you something.”

  Derek grinned and slid over toward the window of the diner. “You’re dating, Jess?” he asked.

  She whispered, “Do the two of you promise to keep it to yourself?”

  Yale said, “Our lips are zipped.”

  “Well, Baker hooked me up with somebody,” said Jess. “They are old army buddies. This guy is my age, and, Yale, he is hot hot.”

  Yale grinned saying, “I’ve never seen you like this before, Jess. I like it.”

  She nodded and set the coffee pot on a pile of napkins. “It has been years guys. Some things are working now that I thought had given up the ghost years ago.” She laughed. “If you know what I mean.”

  Derek smiled. “Honestly, I’m not sure if I want to think about that too hard.”

  Jess slapped his arm and slid back out of the booth. She said, “I won’t annoy you with the details, but I just had to tell someone. Now I’ve got to get back to work, but the two of you are just the cutest. I just wanna pinch your cheeks.”

  Yale laughed. “Maybe you should bring the sexy army guy by Derek’s house sometime and we can all have dinner together.”

  Jess smiled. “Hey, now that’s an idea. He’s a born storyteller, and he gets along with everybody. I mean everybody.” The door to the diner opened, and she said, “Gotta run. See you later guys.”

  Some nights Derek and Yale sat on the couch and they argued over who had custody of the remote control. On those nights Yale felt like they were behaving like an old married couple. He never seriously thought about being married in the past, but suddenly it seemed like it might be a good thing. Derek wanted to watch intellectual stuff on PBS or cooking shows. Yale was more interested in action movies and shows with zombies and vampires. More than once they simply fell asleep in each other’s arms with the TV playing deep into the wee hours of the morning.

  Other nights Derek had work to do, and he asked Yale if they could have the TV turned off so he could concentrate more easily on his writing. Yale began bringing used books up from the store, and he became an eager reader for the first time in his life. One evening he blurted out, “This stuff is really good, Derek. Is your writing this good?”

  Derek laughed. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m not Ernest Hemingway, but I think sometimes I have my moments.”

  Yale said, “Let me read something from your latest romance book.”

  Derek said, “Oh, I don’t know. You really want to read all that goopy lovey dovey stuff?”

  “I read three romance books this last week and they were about men and women. I wanted to see why the customers liked them. I think I would like your stuff even better.”

  “Okay, I guess you’re gonna see it sooner or later.” Derek handed over his laptop with the latest novel open for reading.

  Yale began to read it out loud. “And then they stared into each other’s eyes. Jason’s eyes were like pools of ocean water, a deep azure blue…”

  Derek blushed all pink in the cheeks. “Okay, that’s enough out loud. If I want to hear it read, I’ll make an audiobook.”

  Yale laughed and said, “That would be cool, but yeah I’ll stop. I do want to read the whole thing for myself someday, though.”

  * * *

  A week later, Thomas invited the new couple over for a cookout with his new boyfriend Hadley. Yale was excited. It was a chance to show all of their friends that they finally figured things out and decided to be a couple. Derek was excited, too. He said, “I’ve been waiting to see more of Hadley. He’s cute, but I still want to see him in action around Thomas.”

  It was a little bit crowded at Thomas’ apartment. He lived upstairs in a one-bedroom carriage house that he rented from Doc Benton, the retired veterinarian, who lived next door. The cookout was going to be attended by seven adults with two dogs. Thomas said, “It might be a tight squeeze, but we’re all close friends, so it should be okay.”

  As they drove across town from Derek’s house in Yale’s truck, Derek said, “Let’s not say anything immediately. We’ll wait and see if anybody notices that we’re treating each other differently at all, and then when someone says something, we can share the big news.”

  Yale smiled. “That sounds like fun. I’m betting it’s Aaron. He’s the one that pays such close attention to everybody. He’ll pick up on it almost right away.”

  Derek said, “I don’t know. Emma watches pretty close, too. We’ll just see. Thomas will be too busy mooning over Hadley. I’m sure of that.”

  Hadley greeted them at the door. He was tall like Thomas and built more like an athlete like Yale. He ushered them inside and tried to place his legs such that they kept the dogs from escaping. Yale recognized Molly and immediately squatted down to pet her. Then he looked at the black and white dog and asked, “Is this Lucky?”

&nb
sp; Hadley said, “Yes, she’s Molly’s mother. Don’t mind the dogs too much. They will want attention all night long, but they are pretty well behaved. Just don’t drop anything on the floor that you wouldn’t want to have ending up with dog slobbers all over it.”

  Emma rushed toward the door as Yale stood back up. She exclaimed, “Derek! Yale! It’s so good to see you guys, and you have smiles on your faces. Are you taking a little bit of time off between marathon work sessions?”

  Derek nodded and said, “Yeah, we’re doing better at that.” Then he asked, “Where’s Thomas?”

  Hadley said, “Oh, he’s out on the deck grilling and talking to Aaron.”

  Derek said, “We need to go say hi to them, too.” As they neared the sliding patio door from the kitchen to the deck, Derek wrapped his arm around Yale’s waist without thinking.

  When they took their first step on to the deck, Aaron looked up from Thomas’ grill and said, “Hey, the two of you finally figured it out.”

  Yale looked at Derek and they both laughed. Yale said, “Well, that didn’t take very long.”

  Thomas said, “Oh, we need to all go into the kitchen. This definitely deserves a toast.”

  As they bustled back into the kitchen, Jane asked, “What’s all the commotion? You’re driving the dogs crazy.”

  Aaron announced, “We have a new couple among us, and it’s not our hosts.”

  A big grin spread across Emma’s face as she figured it out. Hadley set seven wine glasses on the counter while Thomas pulled the cork from a bottle of red wine. He quickly filled the glasses and then passed them around to everyone gathered.

  Yale blushed, while they all held glasses aloft. He was overwhelmed by the joy in the eyes of his closest friends. Aaron said, “To Derek and Yale. It took awhile to figure it out, but may you both have decades of bliss to come!”