Bound by Her Destiny

by Mara Leigh

  Selina

  The sky pinks with dawn. I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting on Gray’s front steps but I can’t sit here much longer.

  I want to be with the men I love as much as I’ve wanted anything in my entire life. I want to rush inside and into each of their arms, to be held and kissed and loved by all four of them simultaneously, but at the same time I dread going inside.

  As long as I stay here I can put off facing all the implications of what Gray told me tonight. The royalty part means nothing. I could care less about that. But learning my father’s identity and that he’s all but certainly dead, is like gaining and losing the entire world the same night.

  When Colton told me how my stepfather had murdered my mother, something about it didn’t sound right to me. That monster was not the type to take his own life. But I’ll likely never know who really killed my mother and stepfather, and probably will never know what happened to my real father either.

  What would have happened it Zora hadn’t accidentally turned me into a vampire? If I was still a human, would I still be the heir to this stupid throne? Would Gray or his fellow knights have been able to find me?

  I gasp. Was I ever truly human in the first place?

  Never have I felt so lost, so unsure. Not even when I was a homeless teen. Not even when I was a freshly made vampire all alone in the night.

  Learning my father is, was, the vampire king is so much more disorienting than everything else combined, except—I draw in a long breath that fills me with comfort—except now I don’t have to face it alone.

  I have support. I have Rock, Gray and Pike—I hope Colton too. I have men who love me, who will help me get through these emotions.

  I close my eyes thinking of the horror in Colton’s when he realized I was a vampire. It breaks me inside to think he might hate me now, that he might want to kill me.

  Of all the issues facing me at the moment, the most pressing is talking to Colton. I know the other men will support me through this royalty business, but while Colton has professed his love in the past, his words don’t really stand anymore.

  When he first said it, he didn’t know what I was, and after, he was still confused and in shock. I’m not certain that, given the chance, he wouldn’t still drive a stake through my heart.

  But Colton rejecting me would be an even worse wound.

  I rise to my feet and turn away from the pre-dawn sky to face the large oak door into Gray’s house.

  Focusing in first, I hear voices drifting from the living room.

  Rock and Gray. Colton. Are they all still there?

  I push open the door into the foyer, and my question is answered before I take another step.

  The two vampires arrive in the blink of an eye, followed closely by Rock and Colton.

  “Princess,” Gray reaches out for me.

  The nickname reminds me of his deception, making me want to pull back, but my desire to be in his arms outweighs any sense of betrayal or anger. Gray held back this knowledge because he thinks that I’ll leave him.

  I hug Gray tightly, then move on to Pike then Rock, letting each of their bodies transfer warmth and comfort and the reassurance that I’m not alone, that I’ll never be alone again.

  Colton holds back and I walk slowly toward him.

  “Guys?” I say as I walk toward the human I love. “Colton and I need some time to talk. Alone. Okay?”

  “Did someone check him for stakes?” Gray says under his breath.

  Colton doesn’t react to Gray, he just keeps his eyes trained on me, and I realize Gray made his crack too quietly for human perception.

  Rock and Gray kiss me goodnight and head up the stairs. Pike heads toward the kitchen, presumably to go to the basement.

  “You don’t need to sleep down there,” I call after him. “Gray has guest rooms that no one’s using.”

  “I prefer the basement.” Pike glances back, his shoulders slumped—as slumped as ones as broad and strong as Pike’s can ever be.

  Colton’s arms fold over his chest and he spreads his legs wide, as if he’s bracing for something. I can’t blame him.

  “Can we talk?” I ask as I take a tentative step toward him.

  He nods, and then lets his arms slide down to his sides.

  I move slowly toward the living room entrance, looking into Colton’s eyes the whole time. My hand brushes his as I pass, and his fingers reach out to take mine.

  My heart swells with joy as we continue into the living room, hand in hand and in silence.

  I sit in the center of the softer of the two sofas and sigh in relief when he sits on the same one, turning his body toward me.

  “You must have so many questions,” I say softly.

  “About the princess thing?” he asks, his lips quirking in a half smile. “Do I need to call you Your Highness, now? Curtsey or something?”

  “Oh yeah, right…that.” I flip my hand to dismiss it. “Plus the whole vampire thing.” I keep my tone light. His joking lessens my unease, but only slightly.

  “It’s a lot.” Colton looks down at his lap. “Everything I believe, that I’ve always believed… Everything I know—knew—is wrong.”

  “Not everything.” I bend one leg up onto the cushion as I turn toward him. “Some vampires are monsters. The vampire who killed your sister was one. There is no doubt about that. But she was no more of a monster than any human serial killer.”

  “But she’s the vampire who made you?” He looks up at me, his face twisted in pain, his eyes full of confusion. “Did I understand that right?”

  “Made me against my will.” I nod, just learning that Rock must have told him more about Zora.

  “But that’s not how vampires are usually Made,” I tell him. “Not that I know a ton about it. I’m new to this too. But Gray and Pike…they both knew the vampires who Made them. They wanted their transitions and loved their Makers. Not in a romantic way, but more like a deep friendship—or in a familial kind of way.”

  “That’s what Rock said too.”

  “You should talk to Gray about it. And Pike too, although I guess Gray’s less intimidating.”

  His eyes open wide. “You think?”

  I laugh. “Pike used to terrify me.” I close my eyes for a moment as memories of the horrors I experienced in Xavier’s dungeon shudder through me. Horrors I once attributed to Pike. “But Pike is actually very…gentle.” I feel a flush rise on my cheeks.

  “If you’re talking about sex.” Colton frowns. “I’m not sure I want to hear it.”

  My cheeks burn. “I meant in general.” But did I? “Pike wouldn’t hurt a fly unless that fly was out to kill someone he loved.”

  “Out to kill you.”

  I nod. Cheeks flushing so hard now I wish I had some way to cover them.

  “I’d kill for you too.” He takes my hand and raises it to his lips.

  My heart pounds so hard I feel it crash against my ribs. “Do you mean that? Even now that you know what I am?”

  Colton’s eyes fill with tears. “I was so wrong. Wrong about so much. I’m still confused, but there are two things that I know for sure.”

  “What are those?”

  “I know that not all vampires are evil.” His voice is clear and strong. “I know that…I know that because I know you.”

  I nod. “And the second?”

  “I know that I love you.”

  “Colton.” I draw a long, ragged breath through my nostrils. “I love you too.”

  “I’m not sure you understand what I mean when I say that.” He shakes his head. “I’m not sure I even have the right words, but I need you to understand. You need to know that I can’t bear to think of a world without you in it. I can’t begin to think how I’d survive a day, an hour, without you in my life. Selina, you’ve claimed such a big piece of my heart I don’t think it could beat unless you’re near me.”

  Joy fills my entire body and my heart races, making it hard to speak. “Seems to me you did pr
etty well finding words.” I try to catch my breath after the effort of speaking through all my emotions.

  “That’s a relief.” He cups my face. “Because I think I just ran out of them.”

  He’s claimed to love me before, but hearing it now that he knows the truth holds so much more power. I’m buzzing with nervous happiness.

  He leans toward me. I rise on one knee, and my hand moves to his shoulder. Our faces draw together until I can no longer focus on his eyes, but I’m instead floating inside them, like I’m part of the emotion they were evoking seconds ago, or maybe hours have passed since I could actually make out his expression. I’ve lost all sense of time.

  We’re so close now, I can sense the tension in the molecules of air between us, and our lips hover, mine tingling with the most delicious anticipation.

  Colton said he couldn’t imagine life without me, that his heart would no longer beat, and I feel the same way. A life without Colton is unthinkable. Even with Rock, Gray and Pike in my life, I wouldn’t be complete without Colton.

  The sides of our noses brush, and our lips remain suspended in a place that’s somewhere between apart and together, as if neither of us wants the anticipation of a kiss to end, as if we might die from the pleasure of executing the actual act.

  His fingers thread through my hair, while mine explore the tendons where his shoulders join his neck, and as I trace his pulsing vein, my fingertips awaken at the force and promise of the blood beneath his skin.

  Colton has always been physically attractive to me, and I love who he is as a person—his bravery, his sense of right and wrong, his sense of humor—but I can’t deny that I also love the taste of Colton. And the idea that he might let me feed from him again…

  Desire pools between my legs, hunger torments my fangs, and pleasure rushes through me so hard that I come, gasping as the strong waves of it clench inside me.

  “Are you okay?” he asks, as my orgasm quickens my breathing.

  “Yes,” I whisper against his face, my voice husky.

  Given the choice, I’d never feed from any human but Colton—no one else for eternity.

  My heart drops. He won’t live for eternity.

  But I can’t think about that. Not now.

  Colton’s huge hands engulf my skull, and he nudges me across the final millimeters that separate our lips.

  I moan into his mouth as he groans into mine, and with matching urgency, our lips move together, pulling and pressing, our tongues plunging and stroking, and I’m so absorbed in the endeavor that the room falls away, even our bodies vanish.

  All that’s left is our mouths, our breaths, and our hands in each other’s hair.

  I have no idea how much time has passed, when I sense his fingers stroking between my legs—and his touch is fire.

  Beyond fire. Every micro movement of his fingers ignites explosives that detonate as if an entire war’s worth of bombs are landing in rapid succession between my legs.

  My hips pulse, pushing against his hand as he strokes me, and my desire builds to such heights I fear I will never be able to descend. I don’t want to descend. The pressure of his hand against my body fills me with as much pleasure as full penetration.

  Scratch that. The pleasure is intense but it makes me want more, it wakes an urgent longing, a need to feel Colton inside me, to have his powerful body transfer energy and love into mine.

  I could overpower this man without even trying—but with one of his hands holding my head and the other between my legs as we kiss, I feel completely vulnerable to Colton, under his control, his fingers pushing the very buttons that literally turn me on, that let me exist.

  His hand slides past my waistband and under my shirt to land on my breast. At the hot contact against my sensitive nipple, I cry out. He pauses for an instant, as if worried he’s hurt me, but my kisses show him how much I enjoy his caress.

  Straddling his thigh, I use his muscles there to replace the pressure I lost when his hand moved. His thumb brushes back and forth over my hard nipple and it’s so good—so much pleasure it almost hurts. I arch into his touch.

  Breaking the kiss, he pulls my shirt over my head, tosses it to the side and moves his lips to my breast, sucking on my nipple so hard the fabric of my bra is instantly soaked, and the friction of his tongue and lips on the damp fabric makes the pleasure build even higher.

  His hand returns to its rightful place between my legs, and another orgasm explodes inside me. A violent one that I didn’t even sense approaching. I cry out as my body shakes against him.

  “You sure you’re okay?” he asks breathlessly against my breast.

  “Very okay.” I ride out my short climax, wanting to have him inside me the next time that happens. Wanting this man, every part of this man, more than life.

  My body brushes against his erection. He moans into my nipple, and the vibrations rumble through my breast, so erotic it almost takes me over the top again.

  “I want you so much,” he says, leaving my breast for a moment, the air cooling the damp fabric and creating its own stimulation.

  “I want you too.” I look into his eyes.

  “Can I…” He strokes my cheek and looks into my eyes. “I want to make love to you. I want it so much, but I’m afraid…”

  I cup his face in my hands. He’s afraid of me, and we’re going too fast. “I would never hurt you, Colton. Never. And I will never feed from you again without your consent.”

  He shakes his head. “That’s not what I mean.”

  My head tips to the side.

  “I’m afraid…afraid I won’t please you.”

  “Won’t please me?” I press against his hand that’s still cupping my sex.

  His finger twitches against the seam of my jeans, and my breath catches hard in my chest. I’m so wet, so turned on… Can he not sense it?

  I almost forgot he’s a virgin. We really are going too fast, but I try to quiet that insistent thought.

  “Colton, you don’t need to be afraid of not pleasing me. Believe me. You already made me come.”

  His eyes open wider. “You came? Like an orgasm?”

  I nod. “Twice.”

  Pride and happiness wash over his face as his fingers continue to almost absentmindedly stroke my sex and my breast. If this goes on much longer I’m going to come for a third time and we haven’t even had skin-to-skin contact. I want the fabric between us gone.

  His joyful expression fades. “But the others…they’re so experienced and…they’re supernatural. They have special powers.”

  I stifle my laugh. This isn’t funny to him. “Good sex is more than just physical Colton. It’s about connection. About love.” I reach down, find his erection through his jeans and gently stroke it.

  “Holy shit.” His breath comes fast and hard. “If you keep doing that I won’t even get a chance.” He groans. “Am I supposed to think about baseball to last longer? Or the queen? Oh, I forgot. You’re a queen. Not helping.” His voice is strained.

  Giving his hardness a break, I lean down to kiss him again and revel in the friction between his fingers and the denim covering my sex.

  His hand slides up to my fly, then to the button above it. “I want to be inside you,” he says. “I want to fuck you.”

  The shock of this crass word coming from Colton’s lips reawakens my sanity. This is going too fast, especially given all that’s happened.

  I slide back on his lap. “Colton. Maybe we shouldn’t. Not tonight.”

  In millisecond-long increments, his expression morphs, and I can’t figure out whether he’s feeling confusion, disappointment or relief. Probably all three, mixed with a continuing heavy dose of desire.

  “I want to…to fuck you.” The word sounds awkward from his lips, but then he slides his hand down the front of my now-opened jeans to meet my slick folds directly.

  As he makes contact, we both gasp, and I lose focus, or rather my focus switches from a rational discussion to an euphoric haze generated by the
absence of denim between his strong fingers and my slippery wetness.

  As he explores between my legs, he looks into my eyes and the fascination I see there makes me wonder if this is his first time to third base.

  But then we’re kissing again, and it all feels so good that I forget for a moment to wonder about anything else.

  His finger pushes inside me. I gasp.

  “Sorry.” He pulls it out and breaks the kiss. “Did I hurt you?”

  I shake my head. “Just the opposite.”

  He pushes his finger inside me again, and I squeeze my strong muscles around him. Again I see the wonderment in his eyes and feel the effect of my encouragement as his finger moves slowly inside me.

  But my sanity returns as I hear the zipper of his jeans.

  I cover his hand with mine before he can release his erection.

  “Not tonight.” I can barely believe what I’m saying.

  “Why?” Breathing hard, he moves my hand on top of his promising package, holding it there.

  His finger inside me is simultaneously comforting and arousing, but I’ve got to be the strong one.

  “A lot happened today.” I cup his face with my other hand. “Have you really had time to process it all?”

  His brow furrows, but he says, “The only thing that matters is I love you.”

  I smile, inside and out, but his expression doesn’t match his words, and his finger stills inside me.

  “I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret,” I say softly.

  “I won’t regret it.” As if he just remembered where it was, his finger starts stroking again, deeper and faster now, and it’s hard not to cave, but I’m sure about this. Sex with Colton tonight would be a huge mistake.

  I grab his wrist to still the pumping. “When we have sex for the first time,” I tell him, “I want to be sure we both want it.”

  Hurt fills his eyes. “You don’t want it?” His finger pulls out of my vagina. “The others…” His voice trails off.

  “The others don’t matter.” I shake my head as I slide off his lap and fasten my jeans. “No. I’m sorry. Of course they matter. What I mean is—it’s not a race. My relationship with you is special. All my relationships are special.”