“You didn’t have to do that,” he tells me.
I cringe as I look up at him. “Yeah… well, there’s more.”
“More?” he grunts. I reach into the back pocket of my jeans and pull out the piece of paper I’d printed last night and hand it to him. “What’s this?” he asks, taking the paper and unfolding it.
“A weekend in Vegas,” I explain as I watch his eyes scan over the paper. “First class tickets and you’re staying in the penthouse with all the boys.”
His eyes widen as he looks it over. “Are you shitting me?” he gasps as Jesse comes over and plucks the papers out of my hands. “This is too much.”
“You saved my life,” I repeat a little slower so hopefully he’ll understand this time. “This isn’t even close to being enough.”
“So, we’re going to Vegas?”
“Yeah,” I grin. “You can take whoever you want. Your family or the boys.”
“Holy shit, Tora,” he laughs. “This is fucking amazing.”
Jesse finishes scanning the paper and looks up over my shoulder in outrage. “Where’s my fucking trip to Vegas?” he scolds Nate.
“You broke my fucking rib,” Nate reminds him.
Jesse shakes his head and looks to me. “I should have saved you instead,” he jokes, but little does he know that Nate spent his night convincing his mom to let him buy a one hundred thousand dollar speed boat for the kid before coming to my place.
He’s surprising him with a trip to the boat place over the next few days so he can pick out the colors. You know, as Jesse wouldn’t be happy if he didn’t get to pick out how ridiculous he makes the thing look. And besides, I have a feeling Puck is going to take all the boys with him to Vegas, rather than his parents so Jesse is basically winning twice here, but he can sweat it until Nate drops the big surprise.
The bell rings and even though my throat is still a little sore, I can just tell it’s going to be a good day, no matter how many more people think I’ve come back from the dead to haunt these old halls, and you know, besides the whole Nate being a shady douche this morning.
I get my ass off to class and six hours later, I realize I was wrong. It was a long shitty day, especially when I got hit with a coughing attack in the middle of Biology and nearly died from the pain in my throat. I swear it felt like razor blades cutting up and down my throat. It was awful.
So, when I walk down to my car at the end of the day, I couldn’t be happier to get out of there. “You heading home?” Brooke calls as I look around the lot for Nate but realize he must already be gone. Disappointment flutters through me. I’ve hardly seen him all day, but at least I’ll see him tonight.
“Yeah,” I tell her. “My throat is killing me.”
“Ok,” she says. “You want me to come over?”
“Sure,” I tell her, “But you better be bringing some ice cream and jelly.”
“Fine,” she laughs. “I’ll stop by the store.”
“Thanks,” I grin before opening the door and dropping down into my car.
I start the engine and peel out of the parking lot before pulling out on to the road. I turn up my music and try not to think about Nate, but let’s be honest, it’s all that’s gone through my mind all day. It’s sort of like he’s avoiding me and the only reason I can come up with is that he’s letting what my dad said get to him, which is ridiculous.
I let out a sigh and work on getting myself home without getting into an accident.
I drive past the gas station and I can’t help but notice Jesse’s Range Rover. Jesse is standing by the side of the car, filling the tank while Nate is inside paying. I go to keep driving, knowing I’ll probably see them later, but a car screeching to a holt behind the Range Rover has me pulling off the road and hurrying to get to them.
Jackson flies out of the passenger’s seat of his friend’s Charger and rushes Jesse who looks a little confused by his sudden appearance. I cringe as I hurry to catch up with them.
I look up to the store to see Nate looking out the window with wide eyes, just as surprised as the rest of us. Anger takes over his features. He’s been waiting for this since Jackson tried that bullshit at school. The only problem is, we’ve only seen him on school grounds where we are all bound by their rules. Now, out in the real world, it’s free for all and Nate has a score to settle.
I rush forward and instantly put myself between Jackson and Jesse, desperately trying to push the big walls of muscle away from each other, knowing neither one of them will hurt me. Well, I’m assuming Jackson isn’t stupid enough to hurt me in front of Nate and Jesse.
“Back off, Jackson,” I warn him as his friends start piling out of the Charger. “This isn’t going to end well for you.”
“Move, Tora,” Jesse says through clenched teeth. “You’re going to get hurt.”
“Listen to your little lap dog, babe,” Jackson spits.
“Stop calling me that,” I seethe as I go to jam my elbow hard into his stomach, only it never connects as a hand is wrapped around my waist and I’m hauled behind Nate’s body before being pushed away.
“Get out of here,” Nate demands. It takes me a second to realize he’s talking to me and not Jackson.
“Like hell,” I grunt as Jesse reaches for Jackson.
With that, it’s on. Fists are thrown and even though there is three of them and only two of my guys, they seem to be holding their own, but I’m not going to stand back and let this be an unfair fight.
I run forward and throw myself on Jackson’s back while digging my elbow into the soft spot between his shoulder and neck, trying to get him to stop.
“Tora,” Nate demands, absolutely furious with me. “Get out of here.”
“No,” I yell back at him. “You and me, we’re in this together.”
“How fucking sweet,” Jackson growls while trying to fling me off as Jesse plants his fist into one of the other guy’s jaw.
This isn’t going to end well. These boys are going to fight until the death. After all, they destroyed each other’s cars and have been at each other’s throats for well over two years now. It’s ridiculous. You’d think they stop this shit when the cars were involved. But now, they constantly have to prove who has the biggest set of balls, and let me tell you, it’s always going to be Nate. And as long as Nate has something to do with it, then so do I.
We’re a package deal, no matter how much he’s tried to avoid me today. He’s my guy and I’ll always stand right beside him. No matter what.
Fists fly everywhere and someone pulls at me, trying to drag me off Jackson, but I’m not budging.
“Hey,” The store attendant yells, running out the door holding a phone above his head. “I called the cops. You have three seconds to get the fuck out of here.”
“Fuck,” Jesse grunts as Nate dives for me. He hauls me off Jackson’s back before the guys start scrambling for their cars.
I dangle from Nate’s arm as he uses his free hand to rip open the door of my car and throw me in. “What the fuck was that?” he demands.
“I was trying to help,” I yell back at him.
“Help?” he scoffs. “You helping would be calling the boys and staying the fuck out of it, not putting yourself right in the middle of another fucking fight.” My mouth drops open as I stare at him in disbelief. “Just, go home, Tora,” he says, shaking his head as he slams the door of my car.
I'm in shock as he walks away and climbs in the driver’s seat of Jesse’s Range Rover before hitting the gas and tearing out onto the road, leaving me behind, wondering what the hell just happened.
Chapter 13
What a shitty week.
I lay on my bed setting up my new phone as music plays softly in the background. Nate has been avoiding me all week, apart from the usual hi and bye at school, a smile every now and then, and of course, a kiss on my cheek or forehead, but never my lips.
I haven’t tasted those lips since being discharged from the hospital on Monday. It’s now Saturday
afternoon.
He hasn’t snuck through my window at night. He hasn’t told me he loves me. He hasn’t made my body come alive. He hasn’t made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
Something is wrong and it’s killing me that I don’t know what it is. He said it would always be us. He knows he can come and talk to me if something is bothering him, that’s what I’m here for. I love him with every little ounce of my being and I refuse to let him pull away.
Though, the whole refusing to let him pull away thing will have to wait until Monday. After all, I was the one who came up with the brilliant idea of sending the boys to Vegas, which is exactly where they are, living it up like kings. Jesse has probably forced them all to sneak into a strip club, either that or their currently involved in the biggest orgy known to man.
I let out a sigh as my foot taps away to the music. I’m in the middle of uploading all my apps on this new phone. I mean, thank god for the cloud, right? Otherwise, I’d be screwed. I’d have to start again. I just hope my details have been saved to my smurf’s village as I’ve put way too many hours into that and starting again simply is not an option.
After an hour of waiting and re-logging into all my apps, I finally have a phone that I can use, with a killer cover to go with it.
Desperate to use it, I send a text
Tora – You’re an ugly swamp muffin with a wrinkly ball sack!!!!!
She texts back instantly, making me forget about all the bullshit with Nate at the moment.
Brooke – You’re a dirty sewer rat with a crusty limp dick!
Brooke – What are you doing?
Tora – You lick asshole’s brimming with wet farts!
Tora – I’m bored! Just set up my new phone. Come over.
Brooke – Ewwwwww!!! Wet farts? You’ve been hanging out with Jesse too much!
Brooke – Give me a few hours. My pop is here for lunch.
Tora – Ok. Xxx
I put my phone down and roll onto my back. This day seriously sucks. I’ve already painted my nails, my room is clean, I’ve done a bit of studying, and nothing is keeping me interested on my Kindle, not even my go-to re-reads.
What am I going to do to pass the next few hours?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
The door of my room creaks open and I look across, expecting mom to poke her head in the same way she’s been doing every few hours since I’ve been home from the hospital. Only her head never pokes through, Nate’s whole body does.
I gape at him for a second before pushing myself up. He silently closes the door behind him and walks across my room to sit on the couch. “Um… What are you doing here?” I ask the quiet room. “Why aren’t you in Vegas with the boys?”
“I didn’t go,” he mutters.
“Yeah, clearly,” I say, hating that there’s an awkwardness between us. This isn’t him. He never walks into a room and not touch me, it’s always the first thing he does. This whole, sitting on the couch and avoiding my eyes is not him and it’s putting massive doubt and fear in my mind. “What’s going on, Nate?” I ask as my eyes begin to sting.
I will myself not to cry. I have a bad feeling about this. I don’t know why he’s here or what he has to say, all I know is that whatever is about to happen is going to shred me to pieces. If it wasn’t, he wouldn’t look so sick.
Nate lets out a heavy breath and finally looks up at me. I see nothing but pain behind his eyes and it shatters me. I’ve never seen him like this. He looks haunted and I hate that I don’t know what’s causing it. His deep voice cuts through my inner turmoil. “We need to talk.”
I shake my head. This isn’t good. “Nate,” I say, hoping that he’s not going to do what I think he’s going to do. I mean, after a week of avoiding me, I’ve thought through every possible scenario.
“I’m not good for you,” he says.
“What?” I grunt, cutting him off. “This is about what my dad said, isn’t it? He’s wrong. You know that.”
“Tora,” he says. “He’s not wrong.”
“Don’t, Nate,” I say over a lump in my throat. “Dad doesn’t know anything. All that stuff about the suspension and the fights are bullshit. There were perfectly good reasons behind it all. I know you know that.”
“No,” he argues. “It’s all me. Suspensions and getting into fights is my life. No matter what I do all that bullshit follows me, and now, it’s coming down on you. Your dad is right, Tora. I know you don’t want to believe it, but being with me is going to cost you your future and I can’t do that to you.”
“Don’t,” I say again as a single tear falls from my eye and splashes onto my bed. I scramble off and cross the room before straddling his lap. I need to feel him close, and maybe if he felt me again, he won’t do this. “I love you, Nate. You can’t do this. Don’t do this to us. You said you’d never hurt me again.”
My words break him and he wraps his hands around me, pulling me in close, but I see the determination in his eyes. He’s already made up his mind and that realization hits me like a freight train.
We’re done.
“Babe,” he says with deep regret. “I fucking love you too and believe me when I say that I wish I didn’t have to do this. You’re my whole fucking world and all I want is what’s best for you, but that’s not me,” he says, running his thumb under my eyes and wiping away another tear. “Look at you, Tora. Since we’ve been together, you’ve become hard. You have no issues jumping into fights and putting people in their place, but before us, you would have gawked at the idea of being so forward.”
“What do you expect?” I say. “I’m not just going to sit back and do nothing when you’re in a shitty situation.”
“That’s the problem,” he says. “Just being with me puts you in danger. I don’t want you around that. Someone locked us in a boat shed and lit it on fire, just to get at me, and you nearly fucking died. I can’t risk it anymore. I won’t lose you, Tora.”
The tears start to flow freely and I hold on to him a little tighter. “I’ll be better,” I tell him.
He shakes his head before resting it against mine. “I don’t want you to be better. I want you to be the way you are. I want you to be you, and being with me, it’s not healthy for you. Your grades are slipping and you’re going to lose everything you’ve worked for. I can’t do that to you. You deserve so much better.”
I pull out of his arms and climb off his lap. I sit on the edge of the bed and force myself to look up at him. “So, you’re calling it quits because I got a fucking ‘C’ on a test and a suspension for trying to break up a fight?” I demand.
He flies to his feet. “You nearly fucking died, Tora,” he yells. “I won’t have that on my conscious.”
Nate starts pacing the floor and I see the anger, hurt, and confusion clouding his mind, making me worry for the safety of my walls. After all, he’s no stranger to punching holes through walls when something isn’t going his way.
“So, that’s it?” I say as the tears really start to fall. “You’re giving up on us?”
“When it’s your safety and future in question, yeah. I won’t risk that for my own selfish needs.”
“What about my needs?” I yell, flying to my feet before him. “I need you, Nate. You’re my everything.”
“Don’t make this harder for me,” he begs.
“Then don’t do it at all,” I tell him. “I refuse to go down without a fight. I know you don’t want this.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” he says, stepping into me and pulling me in hard against his solid body. He kisses my forehead and doesn’t move his lips from me for a fraction too long. “I’m sorry, Tora,” he whispers as his voice begins to break. “I truly fucking love you, but we’re done.”
With that, he drops his arms from around me and walks out the door.
Sobs rip up my throat and completely overwhelm me as I crumbled down onto my bed.
How could he do that?
I’ve never felt heartac
he like this before.
He just… he left me. He finished something that had only just begun. We hardly had a chance to get started. I thought I had the rest of my life to love him. If I knew it was only going to last a few months, I would have loved him harder. I would have made him my whole world.
My mind swirls with a million different things. Each and every one of them to do with Nate yet, somehow, it’s a jumbled mess that I can’t even begin to understand.
How could he just tear my world apart like that?
I thought we were solid. He was it for me. I had our whole future planned out, and now it’s…. nothing. That future doesn’t even exist.
I will never move on from this. I will never find an earth-shattering, overwhelming, all-consuming, explosive love like this again and instead of thinking about how damn in love I am when I think about him, all I’m going to remember is that he’s the boy who crushed my soul. He tore me to shreds and didn’t look back.
Five years of teasing and bullying, five years of secretly giving me everything I’ve ever needed, five years of watching me from a distance and wishing I was his just thrown away because my dad got in his head.
Five years of loving me tossed aside.
I’ll never forgive him for this.
I’ve always stood by Nate. Every damn decision he’s ever made, I’ve backed him one hundred percent, but this one time, I don’t agree. He should have fought for us. He shouldn’t have let my father get in his head. This isn’t right. We belong together like peanut butter and jelly. He’s the moon to my sky and the king to my queen.
And yet, here I am wondering how the hell he could do this.
My tears quickly soak through my pillow as the pain in my chest continues to torture me. It was only a week ago that Puck pumped my heart for me, but for the first time, I’m wishing he didn’t. If I knew I’d be feeling this way just a week later, I’d have begged him to let me go.
I don’t want this life, not without Nate by my side.
He’s my world. My heart. And now it’s nothing.
Broken Hill Hurt: The Broken Hill High Series (Book 3) Page 12