The Model Wife

by Tricia Stringer

  Kate reached her room and took a deep calming breath of cooler air. The warmth of the kitchen combined with the smell of meat cooking had upset her rebellious stomach. It seemed to be just the smell of red meat that troubled her and it had come over her so suddenly. She took a couple more deep breaths then all of a sudden her stomach spasmed and she retched.

  “Kate?”

  She’d barely pulled the door to behind her in her haste to reach her room. Now her dad pushed it open and looked in.

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

  Tears filled her eyes again. Why couldn’t her mum be here? She clenched her jaw trying to keep the contents of her stomach from rising.

  “What is it, love?” Milt strode into the room and put an arm around her. “Aren’t you well?”

  His comforting action was her undoing. She leaned into his chest and sobbed. She’d been crying on and off for days but she’d fought the tears. Now she let them fall. She cried for this little human inside her and the terror of not wanting it. She cried for Sean because she knew how much he would and she cried for her mum because she needed someone to help her understand these feelings that she didn’t understand herself.

  Milt didn’t say anything, just held her close against his solid chest and let her cry. Eventually her sobs began to fade. He lowered her to the bed and reached for a box of tissues.

  “Here,” he said.

  She took several, wiped her face and blew her nose. She felt the pressure on the bed beside her as he sat too.

  “Is this something to do with Sean? Have you two had a falling-out?”

  “No.” She shook her head then nodded. “Kind of.” Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “Right…well.” He shifted on the bed and put an arm around her again. “I guess you wish your mum was here.”

  Kate could hear the discomfort in his voice.

  “Would you like me to go and get one of your sisters?”

  She shook her head and pressed it into the nook of his shoulder. He was warm and solid. “No.”

  “Okay…well. I’m afraid I’m not much chop when it comes to relationship advice but I can listen if that would help.”

  She looked up at him. “Are you and Mum okay?”

  A shadow passed over his face then he smiled and pulled her in close again. “We are. Now, what’s this all about?”

  “I’m…” Kate let out a deep sigh. Gulped in some more air. Willed her stomach to settle. “I’m pregnant.”

  “Hell.” Her dad squeezed her arm then held her away from him. “Hell,” he said with awe in his voice. “My little girl’s having a baby.”

  The relief of telling someone was instant. She gave him a watery grin and blew her nose. “I haven’t been your little girl for a long time, Dad.”

  “I know, love.” He grinned then pulled her close again. “So what’s the problem? Has it caught Sean by surprise? He’ll come round, you know. The toughest blokes always fall the hardest.”

  “It’s not Sean. At least I…I think he’ll be pleased.” She took another deep breath, wiped her nose. “It’s me. I feel so tired and so sick and I don’t want to have a baby.”

  He patted her arm. “You poor thing. You know I remember your mum being like that.”

  She tipped her head back and looked up at him. “Not wanting a baby?”

  “No, not that exactly, but she was really crook with both you and Brianna. And all she wanted to do was sleep. She felt much better once she got past the early stages but she never enjoyed being pregnant.”

  “But she wanted the babies, didn’t she? Us?”

  Milt frowned. “Of course. It was just that she felt so miserable it was hard to be excited.” He pressed his hand to her cheek and guided her head to his shoulder again. “You’ll be a good mother. You’ll see. Once you feel better and the jolly hormones settle down…your mum was always going on about rampant hormones.”

  Kate knew he was trying to help but he only made her feel worse. “I won’t.” She pressed her fingers to her lips but they didn’t hold back the words. “I don’t want to be a mother.” A fresh surge of misery washed over her. She couldn’t believe she had more tears to shed but her eyes filled again. Once more she sobbed into her dad’s shoulder and he remained silent, gently rocking her back and forth as if she truly was his little girl again.

  Twenty-Four

  Natalie finished the final page of her book, closed it and placed it on the table beside her. It had been an enjoyable read, one that Rosie had loaned her, about a mismatched Irish family. She’d laughed and cried over it and now that it was finished she missed the characters. Or perhaps, if she was truthful, the story of a domineering grandmother and sibling rivalry underpinned by solid family love made her miss her own family. She stared out across the space beyond her cabin, focused on nothing in particular. Life here had become easy. She was both energetic and slothful in equal measures. Her skin was lightly tanned and her body felt strong and fit.

  Here under the verandah she was protected from the late-afternoon sun by the tall trees that edged the sandhills but there was still some heat in the day. Her body soaked up the warmth like those of the little lizards sunning themselves on the rocks edging the garden. She took a sip from her water bottle, pressed the cool of it to her cheek, thought vaguely about going for another swim then looked up expectantly at the sound of a vehicle.

  She smiled and waved as a familiar four-wheel drive pulled in with a kayak poking out the back. They’d made no formal arrangement but she’d grown used to Gabe turning up to take her somewhere. And if she was being honest she enjoyed his company and their casual conversations that made no demands of her. To him she was simply a visitor to his country and he was passionate about that. She’d learned so much about the area and its history from him.

  The passenger window went down and he leaned across, his smile so familiar now. “Want to come for a paddle?”

  “I’d love to.” She scooped up her hat and climbed in, her bathers already on under her shorts and t-shirt.

  “How was your day?” he asked as he drove off towards the sandhills.

  “Great thanks. I’ve been lazy and enjoyed it.”

  He chuckled. It was a contented sound she’d grown fond of.

  “Are we going to the creek again?”

  “No, the beach. It’s a perfect evening for a paddle down there.”

  “Oh, you’re right,” Natalie said as they rolled to a stop high above the waterline. The ocean was pearly blue and calm, and the sun hung like a golden ball low in the sky. “What a beautiful evening.”

  “We’d better get the kayak in quick. The sun will be gone soon.”

  She tore her gaze from the view and helped him lift the kayak and carry it down the beach. The freshness of the water against her legs took her breath away but her body soon acclimatised.

  “I’ll hold it while you get in.”

  She did as he bid then clutched the sides as the kayak rocked wildly under his weight as he climbed in behind her. He paddled them away from the shore. Natalie glanced back and realised there was only one paddle.

  “You’re doing all the work,” she said.

  “It’s not hard.” His strong arms dipped from side to side.

  Natalie turned away. They were paddling parallel to the shore now, their four-wheel drive like a discarded toy on the vast expanse of sand, and beyond it the pale blue sky was brushed with hints of pink as the sun sank lower.

  “This is so beautiful.”

  She trailed her fingers in the water. Gabe was easy to be with and she found herself so much more relaxed in his company now than she had been the first time they’d kayaked. Perhaps it was silly but she felt as though life AA had given her permission to test the boundaries. When she was with Gabe she felt different, younger and freer, and she was enjoying those feelings. He knew little about her personal life, nor she about his except that he was divorced, a result of being away from home too much on tours, he’d said, but not whe
ther there was anyone else in his life.

  A fin cut the water a few metres away. She pulled back her hand.

  “Dolphins,” Gabe said and she relaxed again.

  He stopped paddling and let the kayak drift. Two more appeared and swam under them, broke the surface and disappeared again. The sun dropped lower and slipped behind clouds, turning everything golden. They continued to drift.

  “How can you bear to leave this place?” she asked.

  He didn’t answer. She twisted round to find him studying her. “It’s not easy.”

  They floated further, lulled by the gentle rock of the kayak, with the vast expanse of the Indian Ocean beneath them as if they were the only two people in the world. She thought of her family and turned her gaze back to the expanse of bay ahead of her.

  Behind her Gabe dipped the paddles once more and with the help of the current swept them towards the shore. They worked together to get the kayak back in the vehicle then drove across the sandhills to the community in silence. It was a companionable quiet but with a slight edge to it as if they were both waiting for the other to speak. Natalie’s elbow rested on the door and she turned her face to the wind, enjoying the sense of freedom she felt as it blew through her hair and billowed her loose shirt around her shoulders.

  Back at her cabin she shut the door and leaned in through the open window.

  “Thank you for taking me. Can I offer you a lemonade, cool water?”

  Gabe studied her as if considering her offer. The pause between them was broken by his mobile ringing. The screen glowed and the phone vibrated, adding urgency.

  “Thanks, but I’d better get going.”

  He reversed away, putting the phone to his ear as he went.

  Natalie wandered inside, sad that he hadn’t accepted her offer. Gabe was easy to be with and she enjoyed his company but perhaps a little too much. She was playing with fire but she couldn’t let go of the invigorating feeling being with him brought.

  The next day she was disappointed when lunchtime came and went and he still hadn’t turned up. Not that they’d had a set time but after their paddle the night before she found herself watching for him. The day was hot and, desperate for a swim, she hitched a ride to the beach with an older couple who were on a daytrip. They didn’t even get out of their vehicle, were only there for a look, they’d said, before they moved on to the next place.

  Natalie stayed on the beach, had a swim and read her book. Four-wheel drives came and went but none of them were Gabe and eventually, as the sun lowered in the sky, no more came. She watched the water for a while – there was a strong breeze and it was rough compared to the previous evening. Finally she turned her back on it and walked over the sandhills to camp. It took her a while and it was hard going. By the time she reached her cabin her calves were aching but she was proud of herself. It had been good exercise but she was quite sure it was way further than the one kilometre suggested in the camp brochure.

  Hunger drove her inside. She inspected the contents of the fridge, wondering what she’d make herself for dinner. There were some sausages in the freezer, and a motley collection of vegetables, cheese and eggs. She took some cheese and a packet of crackers from the cupboard. They’d do for starters and she could scramble some eggs later if she felt like it. She’d either have to get more supplies soon or go back to Broome. The idea of travelling back with Gabe was agreeable but then this holiday would be over. She looked around her little cabin and through the window to the garden of assorted flowering shrubs, the palm trees that towered high overhead, and she knew she wasn’t ready to leave.

  She poured herself a glass of mineral water, wishing today for the first time since she’d arrived that it was wine, and took her plate of nibbles outside. The sun had slipped further, leaving an orange glow on the horizon merging to a deep purple sky as night descended. The helicopters that often thundered across the sky to and from the nearby airstrip had stopped and there was only the distant sound of other campers.

  She nestled into her chair sipping her drink and glanced at the battered little paperback she’d been reading. She picked it up and studied the cover. The main character was resonating with her. A married woman with a family who’d been almost destroyed by a tragedy. To survive she was going to have to make some changes in her life that hadn’t sat well with some of her family. Could Natalie be like that?

  “Can you read in the dark?”

  Natalie jumped, splashing her drink down her shirt. “Gabe!”

  “Sorry.” He stepped closer. “Didn’t mean to give you a fright. I thought you would have heard me. I kicked my toe on a rock back there.”

  “I was miles away.” She put her book and glass on the table.

  “Sorry I’ve been gone all day.”

  “You don’t have to be worrying about me.”

  “I went with Uncle Ron to check out a few ideas for tourist trips and we had car trouble. We’ve only just got back but I bring food and wine.” He lifted a plastic bag into the air with one hand and a bottle in the other. “I can’t vouch for the wine. It’s been in Uncle Ron’s fridge for a while, but the steaks are excellent. I bought them myself.” He stopped, his arms dropped to his sides. “I’m raving on and you’ve probably made other plans.”

  “Oh yes.” Natalie chuckled and waved a hand at the plate on the table. “I have so many options.”

  He glanced at her lump of cheese and scattered crackers. “Steak then?”

  “Yes please. I might even have enough ingredients for a passable salad.”

  He held out the wine, which she accepted gratefully, and while she tossed an assortment of vegetables with some lettuce, he started the barbecue and opened the bottle.

  Natalie took a sip, winced at the sharp taste. “It’s a while since I had wine.”

  “You don’t have to be polite.” Gabe took a second taste and ran his tongue over his lips. “It grows on you.”

  They sat outside with just the light from the kitchen window to see by.

  The steak melted in Natalie’s mouth. “Oh, that’s divine. I haven’t had steak in a long time.”

  “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” He grinned and watched her take another bite before he started on his.

  While they ate he told her about his trip with his uncle. “Charlie came with us. He was the reason we got stuck out there. Left a door open and flattened the battery. It took us a while to get help.”

  “Bad luck.”

  “It was a useful lesson for Charlie. Consequences for actions.”

  “But you and Ron had to suffer the consequences too.”

  “Yep, and Uncle Ron sure let Charlie know.” Gabe laughed. “Charlie’s ears will still be ringing.”

  Natalie sat back from her empty plate and took another sip of the wine. It was a sauv blanc semillon with last year’s date so it couldn’t have been in Ron’s fridge for too long. “You’re right, it does grow on you.”

  Gabe finished his meal and they sat in silence for a while, both of them staring out into the night.

  “I have to go back to Broome tomorrow.”

  Natalie wasn’t prepared for the wave of sadness his words provoked. “I thought you had one more day here.”

  “Plans have changed. It’s short notice I know, but if you want to go with me you’ll need to be ready early.”

  She turned back to the scene before her: the night sky, a sprinkling of stars and a palm tree making a darker silhouette.

  “You’re not ready to leave yet, are you?”

  She shook her head. Gabe got out of his chair and bent over her, took both her hands in his. It was a shock. They’d touched before of course, shaken hands, and he’d helped her across rocks on several occasions or brushed her arm in passing, but this felt intimate. She didn’t pull away. He grinned. “I knew you’d like it here.” She looked up at him. His eyes sparkled with the light from the window. It was a look of friendship but still she felt a warm thrill spread through her chest.

  He
squeezed her hands a little tighter, leaned a little closer. “This isn’t reality, you know that. You have another life back home, family…a husband.”

  She knew he would read the surprise on her face. She’d not mentioned Milt once to Gabe, she was sure.

  “Sometimes it’s the things people don’t say that speak the loudest.”

  She felt embarrassed then. “I’m not hiding anything. My husband…Milt…I’m not sure…”

  He let go of her hands, and even though the night was warm she felt cold, the spell cast by his proximity broken.

  “This is the place to find yourself. Stay on; Aunty Rosie will look after you. When you’re ready to go back to Broome she can organise it. I’m glad I met you, Natalie. Let me know when you come back to WA next.”

  He left her then, striding away into the dark. She heard a soft thud, heard him swear. She smiled. He’d found the rock again.

  Twenty-Five

  Kate huddled over her first cup of tea for the morning, her hands circling the mug for warmth. Around her the kitchen was silent except for the occasional tick of the fridge and beyond that, outside, the distant sound of a tractor moving back forth.

  At the moment her stomach was settled. It was her nerves that were on edge. Before he’d gone outside her dad had convinced her she needed to tell her sisters she was pregnant. They’d all been worried about her and keeping it a secret wasn’t helping. He’d wanted to ring her mum too but she’d said no, she preferred to tell people face to face. He’d agreed to let her do things her way before he’d gone outside to do whatever he was doing on the tractor.

  Kate gripped her mug tighter. At least she had a week up her sleeve before she had to tell Sean. It wasn’t the kind of conversation she wanted to have over the phone. His interstate job had bought her time.

  “Good morning.” Laura breezed into the kitchen then shut the door, twice, the second time with a thump to make sure it stayed shut. “It’s freezing in here. Have you let the fire go out?”