My Only Reason (Men of Monroe Book 2)

by Rachel Brookes

  Her face twisted in disgust. “You chose her over your family.”

  She could not be fucking serious.

  “That’s where you are wrong. Marnie never made me choose. I made my own decisions.”

  “Your father and I are and will always be your family.”

  I burst out laughing, shaking my head in disbelief. “Since when?”

  The groove between her eyes deepened with anger, and her mouth opened and shut several times, yet she didn’t say another word. With a huff, she spun on her heel and stormed through the crowd away from me.

  I lifted my glass to my lips, forgetting that I’d already drained my glass, and I groaned when not a drop of whiskey hit my tongue.

  Just fucking perfect.

  I needed to erase the past five minutes of my life. I refused to allow my mother’s negative streak to stick. I’d spent too many years dealing with the shit swirling around in my head that was brought on by my parents and there was no way in hell I was letting that fucked-up conversation take precedence tonight.

  Because tonight belonged to Marnie.

  The second she flashed through my mind, I looked back toward table nine and locked onto her stunning face. Fury with a hint of worry colored her features, and her chocolate brown eyes flashed when they connected with mine. Seconds, possibly minutes passed between us until her attention abandoned me and stormed through the crowd until it locked onto my mother’s retreating figure. If looks could kill, my mother would no longer be breathing.

  Marnie might be small, but she was fierce. I was a big man and could take care of myself, but she had always been my greatest protector. I was man enough to admit I’d never felt as protected as I did when Marnie had her eyes on me. She was my little warrior who wouldn’t think twice about pushing her shoulders back, baring her teeth, and lifting her fists ready to fight for me. Even though years had passed between us, and with so many unspoken words, mistakes made, and regrets lingering in the air, my warrior was still there, and she was making her presence known.

  Even if she hadn’t said a single word to me tonight.

  “You okay?” Ben moved in next to me, fully alert. “What the hell did Cybil want?”

  “She was asking about Marnie.”

  “What the fuck?”

  Being best friends since we were kids, Ben knew the ins and outs of my relationship with my parents. Ben, along with his sister and parents, had opened their door to Ashlyn and me way too many times to count. We’d spent Thanksgivings and Christmases with them when our parents were out of town, it was Mrs. Hunt who gave us birthday cards and cake, and it was Mr. Hunt who shook my hand first when I graduated high school and then when I started working as a cop. They were the real fucking deal, and I would forever be indebted to them.

  “Yeah, asking why Marnie’s back in town.”

  “Speaking of Marnie. You okay seeing her?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I call bullshit.”

  My eyes cut to him. “What do you want me to say?”

  “She was a big part of your life.”

  “Is. She still is.”

  We stood side by side, his hand wrapped around a beer bottle, and my arms now crossed over my chest after I ditched my empty glass. Both of us stared at the table where Marnie, Sasha, and Missy sat, all three laughing and drinking their cocktails. A look of ease now hung over Marnie. The fury that had earlier haunted her eyes had been replaced with glee, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

  “She looks good,” Ben muttered, his voice thick. “Smile hasn’t changed at all.”

  He wasn’t talking about Sasha. I knew, without a doubt, he was referring to Marnie. My decisions not only cost me the love of my life, but they had cost Ben his friend. He’d missed her, and he made sure I knew how much I’d fucked things up for not just me, but also him.

  “Yeah,” I whispered, not taking my eyes off her and losing the ability to say anything else.

  “So what the fuck are you going to do about it?”

  Ben’s question hovered in the air as I watched Marnie move away from the table and toward the hall that led to the bathrooms. I cocked my head to the side and met his narrowed gaze and smiled.

  “I’m gonna win back my girl.”

  Nine

  Marnie

  Why did events like this always have a line at the ladies’ bathroom? You’d think venues would know they needed to double the number of toilets they planned on installing. I shifted from foot to foot and then tapped my heels on the polished floorboards as I waited for my turn.

  Oh no.

  The air in the hall vanished, and my skin prickled with awareness. Dropping my head, I sucked in an unsteady breath and closed my eyes. Even after years of avoiding everything to do with Austin Hart, my traitorous body ignited at his impending arrival. My heavy eyes fluttered open and sliced toward the entrance of the hall. If he was coming to me, I needed to rip the Band-Aid off and take control. Time ticked over in slow motion as he prowled toward me with purposeful steps. His face gave away nothing, but when our gaze finally connected, his eyes divulged everything. He had a purpose, and that purpose was getting to me. The wall connecting with my back stopped my retreat, but he continued moving and only stopped when an inch separated us. My heart thundered at his proximity while my body reminded me how amazing it felt to have the heat of his six-foot-two body colliding with mine.

  Looking up at him through long lashes, I swayed under the intensity of his gaze. Silence surrounded us as my eyes ran wild over his face. The hazel fleck in his left eye that stood out sharply against the green, the small scar on his forehead he received from a bar fight he and Ben got into when we were younger, and the group of freckles splattered over his right cheek all stared back at me.

  People hurried past us, totally oblivious to the tsunami of emotions roaring around them. No matter our history or how hard I tried to forget, there was no mistaking the effect Austin had on me.

  Slowly, his hand rose and cupped my cheek. He caressed my skin with his thumb, leaving what felt like burn marks over every part he touched. Reactively, my hand shot out and grabbed the edge of his shirt. I clutched it tightly, twisting my fist around it and holding on for dear life as if I was afraid I would fall if I let go.

  He took a step closer, and his eyes dropped to my mouth. The tip of my tongue darted out and wet my lips, and his gaze grew devilishly sinful. What the hell was happening? It had been five fucking years since I’d been anywhere near him, and I’d just spent a good chunk of the past two hours ignoring him and pretending he wasn’t sitting across from me. But look at me now. Under the low lights of the Esplanade, every door I’d closed when it came to him burst wide open. My brain told me to slam it shut, my heart screamed at me to run, but my body refused to move, and my hand kept holding on.

  His face started to descend. Inch by inch, his lips came closer to mine. We couldn’t do this. I needed to get away. I needed to get Cora and go home. I needed to get my head back in the game. I needed to put distance between us again. But I hung on. His mouth hovered just over mine as if he wanted to breathe me in. Slowly, he ran his nose along mine. This was his signature move, and every time he did it, I knew he was going to kiss me breathless.

  “Marnie, do yo… oh shit, uh, I’m sorry.”

  Austin didn’t budge, but my head whipped around at the sound of Missy’s voice. Her eyes grew wide at the sight of Austin’s body flush against mine.

  “Give us a minute, Miss,” Austin demanded. At the sound of his voice, I shifted my attention back to him, and his mouth again hovered over mine, and his warm breath bounced off my lips.

  “Uh, sure, no worries. I’ll, ah, yeah, I’ll go.”

  I didn’t know how long it took for her to leave. I had no idea how long Austin and I stood there or who walked past or joined us in the hall. The warmth of his lips almost against mine began to fade, and his breath caressed my cheek as his mouth moved toward my ear.

  The first words we spoke to e
ach other after five years would come from him.

  His breath curled around my ear as my stomach dropped to the floor.

  I braced for impact.

  “You’re still as intoxicating as ever, Freckles. Welcome home.”

  The heat of his body left mine, and he stepped away and disappeared without looking back.

  Freckles.

  He called me Freckles.

  Cora: Are you still not talking to me?

  Cora: I did you a favor. I ripped the Band-Aid off.

  Cora: Fine! What shoes do you want?

  Cora: MARNIE JEAN LAVENDER, TALK TO ME!

  I chuckled into my coffee as Cora’s onslaught of texts continued to come through. I’d given her the silent treatment since the gala four days ago, and it had almost become a game now. After my intense hall encounter with Austin and hearing him call me Freckles, I’d dashed back to the table, grabbed my clutch, faked a headache, and caught an Uber home. I needed to put distance between us so I could attempt to get my thoughts in order. Number one priority was to shut down the memories he’d reignited when the warmth of his body had wrapped around mine.

  I refused to go down that memory lane, especially now the gala had confirmed he’d be in my life whether I liked it or not. We had too many people in common to be able to avoid him. I needed to get my shit together, so I was more prepared for the next encounter the universe thrust upon me. Because I’m sure it would be sooner rather than later.

  Cora: That’s it. I’m coming to your house, and you better let me in.

  Marnie: Two pairs of shoes and a tray of your triple choc brownies and I’ll consider forgiving you.

  I put my phone down on the workbench and turned back to my laptop. I had been at my shop since just before seven, and I was in complete crisis mode. While I was asleep, I’d received a text from the person I’d hired to help me get Luscious Lavender up and running saying he was going to Brazil and he didn’t know when or if he’d be back. So now, on top of everything else, I had to find someone on short notice to help me.

  Hours later, I was still sitting at the workbench, but instead of coffee in front of me, I had a half-eaten chicken Caesar salad and the biggest cup of soda I’d ever seen courteous of Cora. I had no idea what time it was or how long I’d been staring at my laptop. My eyes had started to hurt long ago, the chocolate craving taking over my brain was almost too big to ignore, and the fear my back wouldn’t straighten when I stood was real. But I almost had a completed website, suppliers had been contacted, and my signage was underway with a graphic designer. So, I was calling it a massive win. Let’s just not mention the fact that I still hadn’t been able to find anyone available to help me out with set up.

  Tapping on the front window startled me, and I jumped with a squeal. I’d ripped a piece of the black plastic off the front door when I arrived, and now through the glass, I could see Sasha waving excitedly while Missy smiled and lifted two to-go coffee cups. I closed my laptop and pushed back from the bench. Sure enough, my bones cracked in protest when I stood and stretched.

  “Hey.” I greeted them with a smile after unlocking and opening the door.

  “We thought you could use a caffeine hit. I haven’t seen you leave this place all day.”

  Missy handed me one of the cups, and the strong aroma of coffee hit me.

  “You’re a lifesaver, thank you. Time got away from me.” I took a long sip of the steaming hot coffee and sighed as the liquid gold slid down my throat. “God, this is good coffee.”

  “You provide me flowers, and I’ll provide you an endless supply of coffee and cake.”

  “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

  “Do you mind if we come in and have a look?” Sasha asked, looking over my shoulder.

  “Absolutely, come in.”

  Sasha and Missy followed me inside, and nerves hit me out of nowhere. They were the first people outside my family to see the space that would become Luscious Lavender, and right now, it was in complete chaos. Boxes containing shelving and display units that needed to be built were piled high toward the back, the floor was half sanded, and one of the walls had streaks of various shades of white and light gray painted on it from choosing the final wall color. And let’s not talk about the tornado of paperwork covering the workbench.

  “Excuse the chaos. I’m in the middle of trying to get things organized. The guy I hired to do the fit-out left the country, so I’m desperately searching for someone to take over the job.”

  Sasha spun around the empty space, taking it all in. “Seriously, ask Ben. Crazy John loves a good challenge too, so he’d be happy to help as well.”

  I took a sip of my coffee, and then asked, “Who’s Crazy John?”

  “He was my dad’s best friend. He’s like my crazy uncle, hence the name.”

  Sasha’s idea to ask Ben was a good one. I wanted to spend more time with him and reconnect with my oldest friend, so I added asking him to my to-do list because I had no doubts that he’d be able to do what needed to be done here.

  “Not only did we want to check out this place, but we also want to see if you had plans tonight?”

  I took another sip of my coffee and shook my head. “The only plans I have are going home and taking a long bubble bath before getting up tomorrow and doing this all over again.”

  “It’s Wednesday. We drink wine on Wednesday,” Sasha stated as if this was common knowledge. “You should come.”

  “Question, though, and this is a serious question.” I focused on Missy and waited for her question. “Do you have any plans of seeking revenge on Sasha or her older brother Drew? Do you look at Sasha and think I want to destroy her?” Missy’s voice was deadly serious, and there was no chance in hell my eyes weren’t wide and popping out of my head. “We’ve already dealt with that once.”

  Holy crap.

  “Uh, well, Sasha’s my landlady and dating Ben, who I class as my best friend, so I definitely have no plans on hurting either of them. And I really like going to Hamilton’s, and Drew and I know each other from past drunken shenanigans he’s witnessed, so I guess you could class as us friends, or at least acquaintances, so I wouldn’t want to ruin that. Plus, I’m busy getting this place up and running, so I don’t have time to seek revenge or, um, hurt anyone. But more than anything, I like Sasha. Who would possibly want to hurt her?”

  Sasha squeezed my hand. “Thanks, Marnie.”

  “Someone tried to hurt you?” I asked in disbelief, trying to wrap my head around why someone would want to hurt her.

  She shrugged. “Yeah, it was pretty crazy, but it’s all good now.”

  “Why didn’t I ever try to hook up with Drew? You should have encouraged me.” Missy switched the conversation in a totally different direction while looking accusingly at Sasha.

  “I definitely should not have encouraged you. You have a tendency to tell me in great detail about the men you sleep with. I do not want to hear details of my brother’s sex life, especially if he likes spanking and hair-pulling, or what his dick looks and feels like.”

  “I’m not that bad,” Missy huffed, before looking at me. “I’m really not that bad. Sasha likes to exaggerate things.”

  Sasha then turned to me. “When she had sex while we were on vacation in Jamaica, she went into great detail about the guy she met at the bar and how he wanted her to call him daddy. Then there was the man who cried when he orgasmed before sobbing into her chest for an hour and asking her to marry him and promising her a private jet. Yep, I heard all about it... every. single. detail.”

  Missy huffed. “That’s what best friends do. We share sex stories.”

  “Exactly, and I do not want to hear stories about my brother’s sex life, so I’m not encouraging you to have sex with him.”

  “When Drew finds his lady, I’m going to make it my mission to get her to tell us all the juicy details.”

  Sasha rolled her eyes. “Geez, I can’t wait.”

  I chuckled softly at their banter. “So what t
ime does Wine Time Wednesday start?”

  “Yay!” Missy clapped excitedly. “We usually start at seven. We order in food or make platters and snack.”

  This was sounding better by the second.

  They started heading toward the door, and I followed. “Tonight, we’re doing it at Ben’s and my place. Let me get your number, and I’ll text you our address.”

  I unlocked the door and held it open for them. “Absolutely. What can I bring?”

  “Just yourself. Next week, you can bring the wine.”

  A few hours later, after I’d gone home, showered, and changed into a fresh pair of skinny jeans, a black off-the-shoulder sweater, and boots, I followed the directions Sasha had sent me and pulled up in front of a split-level house with an impeccable lawn, a cherry blossom tree out front, and an inviting rustic red front door. Sucking in a deep breath, I stepped out of my car and walked up the long path and knocked on the front door and waited. I had no idea if Ben would be here or if he’d want to talk about Austin. Shit, would Austin be here? What did men do when their girlfriends had friends over for wine on a Wednesday night?

  The front door swung open, revealing Ben who stood in front of me with a puzzled look sweeping across his face.

  “MJ? What are you doing here?” he asked using the nickname he gave me on the day we met which was a shortened version of Marnie Jean. Then the meaning of my arrival dawned on him. “Oh shit, you’re here for Wine Time Wednesday, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Shit.”

  “Why is that shit?”

  He chuckled and stepped to the side to let me into the house. The last time I’d visited Ben at home, he’d been living in a small apartment just outside of Monroe with Austin. They’d both just graduated from the police academy, and even though Austin and I were a couple, the apartment still had major bachelor pad vibes. But as I stepped farther into this house, it was blindingly obvious that there were no bachelor pad vibes here. Simply put, everywhere I looked was stunning. It was feminine with masculine undertones; the perfect combination of Ben and Sasha. High ceilings, polished floorboards, light walls, and dark furniture. Candles sat on the mantle, photos lined the wall, and a gorgeous vanilla scent lingered in the air.