Desperate for Her Wolves

by West, Tara

  TAKAANI COULD HARDLY believe her luck as she stumbled into her brother’s arms. No wonder she’d been guided here. That explained why the cabin smelled familiar. She wondered why she’d not recognized Roy’s scent, but as she breathed in the stale stench of old smoke in his hair, she understood. He’d changed, and as she looked into his bloodshot eyes, she realized it hadn’t been for the better.

  “Roy, are you okay?” She lightly touched the heavy, dark bags under his eyes, which made him look at least a decade older than nineteen. “You look horrible.”

  “I’m in shock, Annie.” He gripped her shoulders hard. “What are you doing here?”

  She hesitated, trying to think up a good lie. “What are you doing here?”

  “I moved to Alaska for work.”

  Mako’s loud bark made them jump apart.

  She bent down beside her husky, scratching him behind the ears. “Roy, this is Mako, my best friend.”

  She thought she saw a flash of hurt in Roy’s eyes. Was he jealous over a dog? She and Roy had been best friends growing up. They’d had no choice but to rely on each other when their parents were always fighting, and especially when they had to go into foster care, but that had been ages ago. After Roy had accused her of doing drugs, she’d been so hurt and angry, she’d considered their bond severed. She’d assumed Roy felt the same way.

  He bent down, petting Mako’s back. “He’s a pretty boy.”

  Takaani smiled. “He knows it.”

  When Mako barked again, Takaani heard urgency. She opened the door and let him out. “Do not go far,” she warned as they shared a look of understanding.

  Roy grabbed two sodas from the fridge and sat down at a two-person table, kicking a chair out for her.

  “I see you’ve been eating my food.”

  “Sorry.” She grimaced. “I’ll replace it.” Though how she’d do that, having no money, she had no idea. She sat across from him, thanking him for the soda. She popped the top and took several sips, trying to avoid eye contact with him, aware he was watching her like a hawk tracking a mouse.

  “Where are you working?” she asked, hoping to keep the topic about him while she thought up a decent story. She couldn’t mention her fake ID, making her appear four years older, or the bar where she’d worked. She was sure word was out about her boss’s death, and she couldn’t risk Roy turning her in.

  “In the oil fields.” His mouth was draped in lines she hadn’t seen before. “It’s the only job that pays enough for Dad’s nurses.”

  She blinked. “What happened?” Last she’d seen of her father, he was living in a state-run home. Not a great one, but it beat being out in the streets.

  “Long story.” He heaved a sigh. “One of Dad’s old high school buddies is a boss at the company. He got me the job. How did you know I was here?”

  “I saw a post about you coming to Alaska,” she lied. She never went on social media, but she suspected Roy still updated his friends.

  His mouth fell open. “So you followed me?” Please tell me she’s given up drugs, his thought projected into her head.

  “Yeah.” She bit her tongue, refraining from telling him off. No matter how many times she’d told him she wasn’t a druggie, he refused to believe her. “But enough about me.” She glanced at his wrinkled clothes and overgrowth of peach fuzz on his face. “Why do you look like you’ve been dragged through the mud?”

  “The same could be said for you.” He crossed his arms, looking at her with that patronizing brother-knows-best expression. “Are you clean?”

  “I’m not a druggie. I will not say it again.” She matched his scowl with one of her own.

  He threw up his hands, his eyes rolling. “I’m sorry, Annie, but you were always running off, always hiding. What did you expect me to think?” He looked her over. “Where are your clothes?”

  “They were dirty.” She self-consciously tugged at the sleeves of her borrowed flannel jacket. “I burned them.” That part wasn’t a lie; she’d burned them because they were covered in blood.

  He arched a brow. “You been living on the streets?”

  “Something like that.” She shrugged, avoiding his eyes. “I’m trying to get back on my feet.”

  Not a druggie, my ass!

  His angry thought seared her brain like a flaming arrow, making her feel lower than dirt. But what had she expected? How could she live around people when their thoughts were always invading her brain? and her wolf was always demanding to be set free?

  “Look.” He heaved a groan, dragging a hand through his unkempt hair. “I’m broke.” And even if I had money to spare, I wouldn’t give it to someone who’d waste it on drugs.

  “I didn’t ask for money,” she snapped, furious he still thought she used drugs despite all evidence to the contrary. “Coming here was a bad idea.” She abruptly stood. “I’m sorry I intruded.”

  “Annie, wait.” He jumped up, grabbing her wrist and tugging her back to the chair. “You’re not intruding. It’s been a hellish few days. I’m sorry. Please don’t go.” I can’t lose you again.

  His plea was like a blade carving out her heart. Childhood memories rushed back. How many times had he stood up for her when their mother had lashed out at her for no reason? How many times had he held her and let her cry on his shoulder when they listened to their parents’ shrill voices during their many arguments, their cursing and insults penetrating the thin walls of their rundown house.

  Roy had always been there for her. She hadn’t meant to pull away, but puberty brought on too many unexpected changes. She’d been afraid to confide in anyone, especially her brother, the only person who’d ever truly loved her. She feared telling him about the wolf inside her, and her ability to read minds would drive a wedge between them. When she left, she’d thought Roy would’ve been better off without her. Now she wasn’t so sure. She leaned close, clasping his cold, clammy hands. “What happened?”

  “I don’t think I can explain.” His voice was as rough as sandpaper.

  She squeezed his hand tight. “Try me.”

  He looked up at her with glossy eyes. “I found Amara.”

  Her breath hitched. “Cousin Amara?”

  He nodded, then looked away.

  Takaani’s heart hammered. “Where?”

  “She lives on a reservation west of Fairbanks with a bunch of Native dudes.” He made a face when he said it, as if they’d left a bitter taste on his tongue.

  “Oh.” Takaani drummed her fingers on the table, doing her best not to show her eagerness, though inside her wolf was howling. This was why she’d come to Alaska, to find Amara. She had a feeling Amara was like her. “Is she doing okay?”

  “I don’t know.” His brows drew together, and he pouted. “They wouldn’t let me talk to her.”

  Demons! The word jumped out of his head, hitting her like a slap to her senses.

  She tensed. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

  “The men she’s with,” he grumbled. “They guard her like dogs hiding a bone. She has a baby, and I can’t tell which one of them is the father.”

  Wow. Amara had a baby! She got the feeling these men were like Amara, and they were guarding her because she was part of their pack. She dug her nails into the wood tabletop. “What else?”

  “I don’t know, Annie.” He let out an exasperated huff. “I hardly believe it myself.”

  “Tell me, Roy,” she snapped, not meaning to sound so harsh, but her wolf was agitating her, demanding to break free.

  “One of the men she was with....” He paused, his gaze darting around the room as if he expected the boogie man to jump out and scare him. He then leaned forward, hissing. “His face changed.”

  She struggled to keep her composure. “What do you mean?”

  He swallowed, a visible knot working its way down his throat. “His eyes went from brown to yellow, and his face sprouted hair.”

  “Omigod!” Takaani was right. They were shifters! She had to find them,
to be with others like her.

  His face colored, reminding her of the shy middle-school older brother who was too afraid to talk to her friends. “You probably think I’m crazy.”

  “No, Roy.” She patted his hand again, infusing a calmness into her voice she didn’t feel. “Do you think he could be a shape-shifter?”

  “You mean like a werewolf? I don’t know.” He squinted at her as if she’d grown a second head. “Until a few hours ago, I didn’t think shape-shifters existed. I think he’s a demon.”

  Takaani wasn’t about to argue with him. She had the feeling this “demon” was merely a wolf protecting his mate. She straightened, more eager than a kid in a candy store. “Take me to her.”

  “What?” He gave her that familiar scowl he used whenever he was about to accuse her of doing drugs. “No fucking way am I taking you there.”

  “Roy,” she pleaded, hating the note of desperation in her voice. “I need to see her.”

  He shook his head. “She doesn’t want to see us.”

  “Maybe she does. Maybe she’s just scared you’ll give away their secret.”

  “That they’re all demons?” he asked.

  “No,” she said, groaning. “Shape-shifters.”

  “You’re really hung up on that idea, aren’t you?”

  Takaani bit her lip before she said something she’d regret. She jumped from her seat when Mako scratched on the door. After letting him in, she took him to the thick rug by the fireplace and knelt beside him, burying her face in his fur.

  “What are you doing, Annie?” he asked.

  “Just giving my dog love,” she murmured, but in reality she was hiding her smile. Her instinct had led her to Alaska and then to Roy’s cabin for a reason. Soon she’d finally be with her kind.

  AFTER A SPARTAN MEAL of canned tuna and boxed macaroni and cheese, Takaani kissed her brother goodnight, thanking him once more for letting her take his bed while he slept on the narrow sofa. She gazed up at the wooden beams, her senses attuned to the sounds of wildlife outside.

  Roy sat up, grabbing his shotgun when they heard clomping outside the door.

  “Relax,” she said. “It’s just a deer.”

  “How do you know?”

  She yawned. “I know their sounds.” She didn’t want to mention her supernatural hearing was far superior to his or that her animal instincts detected threats. She fluffed her pillow and rolled over before he asked more questions.

  Her mind wandered again to Amara. She had to find her cousin. She held the key to understanding the beast inside her. Takaani hadn’t always had the ability to read minds. Thoughts had started popping into her head just before Amara ran off. At first, she thought she was going crazy; Amara’s thoughts had been strange, usually about keeping her inner wolf from unleashing its claws. Takaani hadn’t understood what it meant until a few months after Amara’s disappearance. Roy had to stay after school for a baseball game, so Takaani rode the bus home alone. Three older boys followed her down the rural road toward her house, taunting her and throwing rocks while their vile thoughts projected into her head. When they cornered her behind an abandoned shed and tried to smother her with their beefy hands, her wolf sprang to life.

  The scars she left on those boys were no worse than those they left on her soul. After she put on her tattered clothes and found her way home, she crawled into her bed and cried herself to sleep. Her parents never checked on her, and Roy didn’t come home until later that night.

  The boys showed up at school the next day with cuts and bruises, refusing to tell their friends what had happened. They gave Takaani a wide berth and never bothered her after that. In fact, most kids stayed away from her. After she’d unleashed her wolf, she acted different, feral, and they were terrified. Not that she cared for their company anyway.

  After that, she spent more time alone in the woods behind their house, learning how to shift and exploring the forest. It was freeing to have a means of escape. Each day she wandered farther into the forest, hoping to drown out the sounds of her parents screaming at each other. By the time baseball season was over, Roy thought he and Takaani could be together more, but she didn’t want to go back to her old life. She made excuses each night so they couldn’t be together. Roy became mistrustful, thinking she’d turned to drugs. This only added tension to their already strained relationship.

  When their mother abandoned the family, and she and Roy were sent to foster care, she withdrew even further from the world, and Roy’s suspicions grew. As much as she loved her brother, she couldn’t take his negative and mistrustful thoughts about her. He got a decent job right out of foster care and tried to get her to live with him, but she refused. She hated hurting him, but she took off as soon as she turned eighteen and went to Alaska.

  She’d been in Anchorage six months, working in shitty bars, hoping to save enough to fix her truck so she could continue her search. Instinct told her Amara was near Fairbanks, and Roy had confirmed it. Though she didn’t want to hurt him again, she couldn’t stay. If Roy didn’t take her to Amara tomorrow, she’d go on her own. It was probably better that he didn’t come along. The police were looking for the girl on her fake ID, Takaani Lonepaw, but they wouldn’t be looking for a lone wolf and her husky, traveling north through the Alaskan wilderness. Tomorrow she’d find her cousin and maybe others who were like her.

  AMARA FLOATED ABOVE the clouds, her feet obscured in swirling mist. A familiar dark forest loomed at the edge of her vision. She was in the spiritual realm, the home of the Ancients.

  A hooded figure came into view, appearing out of thin air and moving toward her as if being pulled by a breeze. She was not surprised when her namesake, the Goddess Amara, pulled down her cloak, revealing dazzling silver eyes and a radiant smile. “Hello, Amara.”

  Her time with the goddess was always limited, which meant she didn’t have time for small talk. “Why did you make my cousin Annie a lone wolf?” she demanded.

  The goddess’s smile faded. “It wasn’t our intention for her to be alone. We’d hoped you two would be raised together. We had no idea your uncle would abandon you and your aunt would treat you so badly.”

  “Who is Annie’s father?” Amara asked, knowing her human uncle couldn’t have fathered a wolf.

  “We could not find a gamma wolf to impregnate your aunt,” she answered, “so my gamma mate Fenrir did it.”

  The goddess had let her gamma impregnate another? Amara couldn’t imagine Rone in bed with another woman. The thought made her chest tighten with jealousy. “You let him?”

  The goddess said, “He did not touch her. He used magic to pollinate her womb.”

  “He pollinated her womb?” Amara asked. “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

  She slanted a smile. “Most Amaroki are unaware of ancient magic.”

  “Then she is your stepdaughter.” It was more an accusation than a statement. After Amara’s stepmother treated her so badly, she feared the goddess would resent Annie, too.

  “Yes,” the goddess answered, her placid expression unreadable. “She is a direct descendant of the gods.”

  Amara swallowed. “And you’re okay with that?”

  “Dearest, you are all my children.” The goddess splayed her hands, her eyes shining with kindness.

  “But Annie is alone and lost,” she pointed out, her throat tight with emotion. “Won’t you help her?”

  The goddess shook her head. “She will not be alone long.”

  Before Amara could ask her to explain, she was sucked back through the vortex. She woke in a sweat, head pounding, heart racing. She stared at the bedroom ceiling, listening to the gentle snores of her mates. When Hrod stirred and whimpered, she got out of bed and carried him downstairs, letting him nurse while she recalled her conversation with the goddess. Why did visits with her always leave Amara with more questions than answers?

  Chapter Ten

  Amara was awakened by a kiss from Rone. She smiled at him as he took Hrod from her. />
  “What are you doing down here?” he asked.

  She rubbed sleep from her eyes. “I couldn’t sleep after my dream.”

  “Did you see Annie again?” he asked, sitting beside her.

  “No.” She frowned, recalling her dream. “I saw our goddess.”

  “What did she say?”

  She was having a hard time wrapping her mind around their conversation. “That my cousin’s true father is the goddess’s gamma.”

  Rone bounced the baby on his knee. “Fenrir?”

  “Yes.” A chill swept through her. “And that she will be found soon.” She sure hoped the goddess was right. Knowing her cousin was terrified, with nobody to console her but her human brother left Amara with an uneasy feeling.

  Rone patted her knee, kissing her cheek. “I hope so. Luc should be arriving later today. You need to get dressed. Your fathers will be here any minute.”

  “My fathers!” How could she have forgotten?

  “Too late.”

  Drasko had come down the stairs and was nodding at the front door. She heard voices outside, one of them sounding like her bunica.

  She jumped to her feet and raced to the door.

  Drasko grabbed her elbow, a low growl rising from his throat. “I smell your stepmother.”

  “Katarina? She couldn’t be here. My fathers know better than to bring her.” They wouldn’t dare subject Amara to more verbal abuse by that bitch.

  His nostrils flared, his eyes going from dark brown to gold. “She’s here.”

  Well, fuck.

  DRASKO AND RONE FLANKING her, Amara walked onto the porch and straight into her bunica’s arms. She held her grandmother tightly, her heart expanding as her bunica’s love flowed through her.

  “I’m sorry, pui de lup.” She pulled back and clutched Amara’s shoulders, searching her eyes. “I had no idea she was coming. I hope we’re still welcome.”

  Amara’s heart constricted. “You’re always welcome.” Bunica was like the mother she’d never had. Amara was so relieved she’d come, especially since her fathers had brought that hateful bitch with them.