Protect

by Bailey, Sarah

  I’d lied to Brent.

  I didn’t hate him at all.

  I just hated myself for wanting him so much when he was completely out of bounds.

  ***

  I almost choked as the memory threatened to rip me to shreds. I’d fucked everything up that day. Too scared to tell him the truth. To admit I wanted his help. To confess I just plain wanted him. And now, twelve years later, I regretted it more than ever. If I’d just allowed myself to feel those things then maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe we could’ve been happy all this time.

  “Everything?” he asked, his expression confused.

  “You felt it, didn’t you? The first time. Like someone punching through your chest and squeezing your heart until you felt like it wouldn’t beat any longer.”

  His eyes widened and I knew it was true. He’d felt it. He’d known. And he’d tried to deny how he felt.

  “That’s why you told me no. Why you refused to entertain anything between us because all this time, you’ve felt something for me and you feel guilty because I was fifteen when we met.”

  He didn’t have to respond to me because it was written all over his face. I took a step towards him.

  “I never hated you. I hated myself for the way I felt. It was so confusing. I didn’t understand why being near you made my heart hammer in my chest. Why I craved your presence. I didn’t want to feel that way. I couldn’t imagine wanting a man when my father had raped me and made me hate myself so much. But the thing is… I wanted you like I’ve never wanted anyone in my life.”

  Saying those words out loud to him made my heart fracture in my chest. I’d made myself miserable by denying what was between us. It’d been so long, I’d almost forgotten those first few months he was here. The way I’d closed myself off from the world further because of my feelings for someone I couldn’t have. I’d buried those all so deep so they’d never resurface and haunt me. But here they were, taunting me with their vivid colours and forcing me to confront the truth.

  “What are you saying?” he almost whispered.

  “I’m saying since the day we met I’ve had feelings for you and I tried to deny their existence. I pushed you away because I didn’t want to feel those things. And it only made it worse.”

  I took another step, desperately wanting to be closer. Desperately needing him. Now I’d opened the flood gates, everything was spilling out. All my secrets. All my long hidden truths.

  “I’m saying I love you, Brent, and I think I always have.”

  He let out a slight choking sound, like he couldn’t quite believe the words coming out of my mouth. I’d laid myself bare and I hoped it paid off. Hoped he didn’t run now I’d shared the thing I’d never told anyone. Not even Fi.

  I had no idea how many minutes passed as we continued to stare at each other. Brent stood up, his face flooding with determination. He strode towards me and I was utterly powerless under his snare. His hands tangled in my hair, dragging me closer before he kissed me as if he was drowning and I was the only thing keeping him afloat. He consumed me. Devouring every part of me with his lips and tongue. I clutched his arms, barely able to hold myself up under the onslaught of his mouth. He ripped me apart only to put me back together again with each passing moment.

  When he pulled away slightly, we were both panting, deprived of oxygen after our earth shattering and soul destroying kiss.

  “Say it again,” he practically growled at me.

  “I love you.”

  Next thing I knew, he’d dipped and picked me up, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I felt so small in his arms. He surrounded me with his masculine scent. His mouth was on mine again, taking and taking until I could hardly breathe and my pulse raced out of control.

  “You’re mine,” he growled against my lips as he carried me from the room.

  He’d never been so intense before. Like my words had dragged out some kind of beast inside him and brought it to the forefront. Possession laced his tone. He held me as if he owned me and I guess in many ways he did. He always had.

  As we left the room, I noticed Liora coming down the stairs and I tried to pull away but Brent held fast. I watched her eyes go wide and her mouth go slack as he carried me away along the hall to my bedroom. Well, the cat was out of the bag there. No denying it now. She’d seen us.

  He only let my mouth go so I could open the door. I turned my head, finding my sister in law standing at the bottom of the stairs, her hand on the bannister and a confused, but pleased expression on her face.

  “Brent,” I whispered, turning back to him as I pushed the door open. “Liora’s seen us.”

  He glanced back before taking me into the room and shutting the door behind us. I found myself pressed down on my bed with him towering over me within moments. His fingers were tugging up my t-shirt and practically ripping my clothes from my body.

  “What about Liora?”

  “Do I look like I give a shit about Liora knowing?” I shook my head. “Then be quiet and let me make love to you.”

  I let out a squeak of surprise.

  “W…What? Make love?”

  I’d never had anyone call sex with me ‘making love’ before.

  “Yes, make love… I love you, Jen, and I want inside you right now.”

  Rendered speechless, I couldn’t do anything but watch him tear off his own clothes. The way his muscular body flexed with the movement made my mouth water. Brent was the epitome of everything I dared desire in a man. And he just happened to be mine.

  He pressed my legs open and settled between them, running the length of his cock along my soaking pussy. How could I not find this hot as hell? The way he’d kissed me, picked me up and staked his claim on me, not caring my sister in law, his best friend’s wife now knew about us.

  He loves me. He loves me. I can’t believe he loves me.

  The words hammered inside my head over and over.

  “How long?”

  He cocked his head to the side.

  “How long what?”

  “How long have you loved me?”

  A sly smile appeared on his face before he gripped my hip and thrust inside me, causing a groan to spill out of my mouth. Fuck he felt so good.

  “You stole my heart the moment you looked at me. I’ve waited a long time to tell you how much I love you. You’ve never stopped infuriating me and driving me crazy, but none of that matters because I’m totally and irrevocably in love with you and I have been for the past twelve years. It’s always been you. It will always be you.”

  My mouth opened and closed. I had no idea what to say to that. I mean I’d suspected he’d had feelings for me this whole time, but love? Love didn’t really enter the equation.

  His hands came up and entwined with mine, pinning them to the bed as he thrust deeper inside me. Each flex of his hips made the flames burn hotter. Need pooled in my stomach. All I wanted was this man who’d turned my life upside down to drown me.

  “I love you so much, Jennifer Cassiopeia Benson,” he whispered against my lips when he lowered his to mine. “I want everything with you. I want us to fight, fuck and feel. I want to make you my wife and the mother of my children. I don’t give a shit what anyone else says, thinks or does. You’re mine and I’m yours.”

  My heart slammed so hard against my ribcage, I almost thought it would burst out.

  “You want to marry me?” I whispered.

  “Yes… You can be Mrs Coleman or Mrs Benson or whatever convoluted name you fucking wish. I don’t give a shit as long as you’re mine.”

  Well shit.

  “This isn’t a proposal, is it?”

  He laughed, pulling away slightly to stare down at me.

  “No, Jen. You’ll know it when I do ask you and make no fucking mistake, it will be happening.”

  I had nothing to say to that. Brent wanted to marry me. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend it. I
t didn’t feel too rushed or scary. It just felt right. We’d known each other twelve years. I didn’t need or want to wait another twelve.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  “I love you too, firestorm.”

  He kissed me then. Claiming my mouth like it belonged to him. And well, quite frankly, it did. Every part of me did. It should terrify me, but somehow, I no longer had the wherewithal to be freaked out.

  His thrusts became harder and more erratic, sending me spiralling upwards until the earth below me felt like it had shattered into a million tiny pieces.

  “Brent, oh god, Brent,” I moaned against his mouth, unable to help the sounds spilling from my lips.

  My body trembled and shook with the intensity of my climax. Waves of bliss crashed into me. I fell into the abyss of pleasure and I never wanted to come up for air. I heard him groaning above me, but I was too far gone to really register him coming apart too.

  The sweaty, panting mess we were both left in had us laying there for at least five minutes, unable to say a word. When he rolled off me, he propped himself up on his elbow and ran his fingers along my stomach.

  “Beautiful,” he whispered. “Perfect. Stunning. Sexy.”

  “Are you listing my attributes?” I grumbled.

  “Maybe.”

  “Flattery will get you nowhere with me.”

  He grinned and leant down, kissing my cheek.

  “Oh, I know that all too well.”

  I giggled, which should come as a surprise to everyone since I never giggled in my fucking life. What the hell had happened to me? Brent was changing me in ways I didn’t understand but really, I didn’t care. He made me happy and I hadn’t been happy in a very long time.

  I sat up and grabbed a box of tissues off my bedside table so I could clean myself up a little, although quite honestly, we both needed a shower after that. My skin was sticky.

  “Ugh, I feel gross.”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “What?”

  “I’m all sweaty and so are you.” I grinned. “How about a repeat of that in the shower?”

  He stared at me for a long moment. My smile fell.

  “What?”

  “Liora knows.”

  I frowned.

  “You didn’t seem to care much about that when you were carrying me into my bedroom.”

  “She might tell D.”

  I reached over and stroked his cheek, needing to reassure him things would be okay.

  “Dante isn’t going to hurt you or kick you out or any of those other things you’re imagining and you know why?”

  His hazel eyes clouded over.

  “Why?”

  He needed to understand something very important about me. I protected those I cared about and loved with my life. And he came top of the list now. Fi would always be my soulmate, but Brent? He was my everything.

  “Because I won’t fucking let him, that’s why. You and I are together and that’s tough fucking shit for him. So come get in the shower with me and then we’re going to have a very frank conversation with Dante and Liora over dinner.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Brent

  Jen seemed so confident about Dante’s reaction, but I wasn’t so sure. She stared at me with unnerving intensity so I knew she wouldn’t back down on this. Not with me and not with Dante.

  “I love that you’re so determined, but you don’t know your brother like I do.”

  “He doesn’t get to pull any of his protective brother shit nor does he get to tell you that loving me is wrong. I was days away from being sixteen, Brent. It doesn’t fucking matter. So what if you’re five and a half years older than me? We’re both consenting adults and we’ve danced around this thing long enough. I’m not wasting any more time on bullshit excuses and regrets.”

  She crawled over me and cupped my face with both her hands.

  “I love you. An emotion I never thought I’d be capable of after what Dad did to me. I never looked inside my heart, too scared to see what might be there. I knew, deep down, I knew I’d find you there. It terrified me. All of it.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I put us through so much pain all because I was afraid to face the truth. Don’t you see? If we let fear dictate our actions, we’ll only be hurting ourselves more.”

  She leant closer, her nose brushing against mine.

  “We’re stronger together. I’ll be right by your side no matter what he says. I’m never leaving you. I won’t throw this away. You’re the only person in this world to see me and love every part of me without conditions. I’m brave enough to admit I’ve made so many mistakes when it comes to us but telling Dante will never be one of those. We have to do this. Be brave with me.”

  Jen had nothing to be sorry for. We were both to blame for not admitting our feelings sooner. I reached up and tangled my hands in her hair, dragging her lips to mine and kissing her for all I was worth.

  “I love you, Jen,” I whispered against her lips. “I don’t want to hide anymore.”

  I could feel her smiling before she deepened the kiss. Whilst telling Dante gave me a shit ton of anxiety, I knew Jen was right. We couldn’t keep hiding. It would be better if we got it out in the open. No sneaking around. No pretending nothing was going on. We could be free after all these years of denying the very existence of us.

  She rubbed herself against me, making me groan as my hands trailed down her back and I cupped her behind. I’d never get enough of her.

  “Jen, fuck, I want you so much.”

  She pulled away, a wide grin plastered on her face. Then she hopped off me and snagged her robe.

  “Come get wet and soapy with me then.”

  Her robe was wrapped around her shoulders and belt secured within moments. She put her hand out to me. I’d be an idiot to say no to that. The next half an hour was spent with her pinned against the shower wall, crying out my name in ecstasy whilst I fucked her tight little pussy raw. When we were dried and dressed, I ordered pizza in and Jen went to find Liora and Dante.

  Liora watched us carefully throughout dinner which we had in the living room with the TV on. Logan was in his bassinet, still fast asleep despite all the noise from the TV. I think she was wondering whether either of us would acknowledge what she saw earlier. I happened to be waiting for Jen to broach the subject. So yes, I was still shit scared of telling Dante. Having Jen next to me calmed my nerves a little.

  Jen grabbed the remote and turned the sound down on the TV, causing both Dante and Liora to look at her.

  “We need to talk about something,” she said, glancing at me.

  “That sounds ominous,” Dante said with a raised eyebrow.

  “It’s not. I’m just going to come out and say it because I see no point in wasting time.”

  She reached out and snagged my hand, a gesture which did not go unnoticed. Dante’s brow furrowed and Liora smiled.

  “Brent and I are together.”

  The only sound in the room for a long time was the low level noise of the TV. Dante’s eyes were still fixed on our entwined hands. Liora put a hand on his arm, giving it a squeeze. He turned to her.

  “Okay?” she all but whispered.

  I don’t know what passed between them after that because I couldn’t see his expression. He turned back to us, his lip twitching.

  “It’s about time.”

  I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that. Shouting, raging, telling me he never wanted to see me again? Yes, I expected those things. This? Not really.

  “You’re not mad?” I asked, unable to help myself.

  “No… You think I didn’t know you liked her? I’m not blind although I have questioned your sanity on more than one occasion given how much trouble Jen is.”

  “Hey!” she butted in. “That’s unfair.”

  He grinned at her.

  “No, it’s really not. You gave him hell for no reason and yet puppy dog
eyes over here…” He waved a hand at me. “…seemed continue to worship the ground you walked on regardless.”

  Puppy dog eyes? For fuck’s sake.

  “I do not have puppy dog eyes for Jen.”

  “Yeah, you kind of do,” Liora said, her green eyes sparkling with amusement.

  Jen looked over at me, a smile playing on her lips.

  “I’ve noticed that too.”

  I wanted everyone to just shut up. Why had I thought I’d been successful in hiding it? Fuck. Of course, he was going to know. Dante probably knew me the best out of anyone.

  “We’re getting off topic here,” I said, scowling. “You’re really not mad?”

  “No,” Dante replied, shrugging as he sat back. “It was obvious from day one.”

  I froze. He didn’t sound angry. He looked at me without any judgement or reservations.

  “But… she wasn’t exactly of legal age then.”

  He rolled his eyes.

  “What? Two days off being sixteen? Give me some credit, Brent. I didn’t think you’d take advantage of my sister when you knew she’d been assaulted the week before. I’m hardly fucking innocent man of the year myself. Do I judge you for that? No. Christ, you’re my best friend and I trust you to take care of this little madam over here.” He waved a hand at Jen. “If anyone can handle Jen, it’s you.”

  “Can we stop talking about me like I’m not here?” Jen interjected.

  I let go of her hand and wrapped an arm around her.

  “We know you’re here and I don’t think you’re a handful at all unlike misery guts over there.”

  She smiled at me and my heart stopped. Did she have any idea how beautiful she was when she smiled like that? As if it was a unique smile she only gave to me. One which said I love you always.

  “Don’t you mean brooding and grumpy?”

  “Well, he’s that too.”

  Glancing at Dante, I found him scowling with Liora rubbing his arm, a wide smile on her face.

  “You can be a little brooding,” she told him which only made him scowl at her instead.

  My phone started ringing. I dug it out my pocket, checking the display. Sighing, I answered it.