Stay Mad, Sweetheart

by Heleen Kist

  Suki looked at me, aghast. ‘It’s really gotten to you, hasn’t it?’

  ‘Can you blame me? We know them. They’re both here, acting like nothing ever happened. Justin pretending the growth options were to protect me, and me almost believing him. Not now. Not now I know he did this. He’s got to pay. They both do.’

  Suki’s eyes were as wide as can be. She’d never seen me angry before. And in truth, I didn’t recognise myself. But with the adrenaline coursing through me, and questions that had troubled me for so long finally answered, it felt right. Right, and almost good.

  ‘Claire is thinking how we might get back at Darren,’ I said. ‘This is no longer about being unhappy with her boss. This is about Emily. She’s in. Are you?’

  ‘I didn’t know Emily.’ Suki raised her shoulders and grimaced.

  ‘Come on.’ I placed my hand on hers. ‘What happened to kicking butt, Suki? Each one of us, including Emily, has been victimised in some way. All for being a woman. That’s not okay. We need to fix it. I know you’re doing something with Diane to change your firm. That’s great. Happy to help if you need me. But let’s take care of these two bastards: teach them a lesson that being a dick is not okay.’ A tiny smirk formed in the corner of Suki’s mouth, giving me confidence to go on. ‘I know this Avengers club was a way for us to vent, to get some petty revenge, have a laugh. I’m not laughing now. We are onto something. We can do something about all these injustices. And we’re stronger together. Women on the barricades.’

  ‘How long have you been rehearsing that speech?’ Suki chortled; but her laughter was short-lived. She released her hand from under mine and squeezed my fingers while she looked at me intently. ‘This can’t become some woman versus man revenge thing. It’s not all men. They’re not my personal cup of tea, but there are plenty of good guys.’

  ‘I know there are.’ I felt a faint flush as I thought of one good guy in particular. ‘It’s just them. I promise. Darren and Justin — and your Angus. We want to grab them where it hurts.’

  Suki blew out a long breath. ‘You’ll need to show me how you figured out Justin was behind this. And we absolutely cannot have it impact the acquisition in any way. On that basis, I’m in.’

  I punched the air. ‘Great. Let’s get some work done first and arrange a time to make a plan with Claire. Maybe I can even find you that black, skin-tight cat suit.’

  47

  ME

  Suki left me with only three more things to do and the PeopleForce team would have everything they needed. Hallelujah.

  Headphones on, with white noise playing, I got through her task in half the time I’d expected. My fingers danced over clattering keys. I was on fire; riding the buzz from having a new purpose.

  A hand waved in the space between my head and the screen. I looked up and my heart leapt. Justin. He stood, with a giant grin, next to a young woman in a red pencil skirt.

  I freed my ears.

  ‘This is the illustrious Laura Flett, head of R&D, working at her magic.’

  ‘Hello,’ I said.

  ‘Hi,’ she replied, with a wide crimson smile.

  Justin beamed. ‘Jessica here — can I call you Jess? — is writing an article on yours truly for Look Here magazine. They’re running a feature on “eligible” entrepreneurs, would you believe.’ He placed his hands on his chest with quite obviously false humility. ‘She wanted to meet you too. Seems you’ve got a bit of a fan club.’

  ‘Really?’ I got to my feet.

  ‘Jessica,’ she said holding out her hand, a twitch in her cheek partly obscured by her wavy, brown hair.

  ‘Nice to meet you, Jessica,’ I said as I shook her hand and looked Justin in the eye. I turned my attention back to her, tilting my head. ‘A fan club?’

  Jess nodded. ‘My little sister is studying computing at Uni, and you are totally her role model. She’s going to freak when she finds out I met you. Would you mind joining us for the interview? I know it’s only about Justin... this time.’ She chuckled. ‘But it would be great to hear about when you guys started out, and how you’ve maintained such a good relationship ever since.’

  I was barely able to contain my laughter. This woman’s timing could not have been worse.

  ‘I’m sure Laura would be delighted to join us, Jess—ica. Come, we’re in room three.’ Justin led the way.

  As he held the door open for us both, he whispered in my ear. ‘Don’t talk about the acquisition.’

  ‘I’m not an imbecile,’ I said.

  Seated around the table, I answered Jessica’s inane questions. Did he have any bad habits? Was he ever grumpy? Because, apparently, he came over as ‘terribly chirpy.’

  Yes. No. Yes. No.

  Whatever.

  I could tell from the woman’s face that she regretted inviting me in. There was a distinct chill in the air that made her eyes dart between Justin and me.

  ‘Has he changed much since you’ve become successful?’ she asked.

  That one threw me. Where to begin?

  A picture of a younger Justin popped into my head. Gelled-back hair and a pale complexion in keeping with his indoor lifestyle, moving only between lectures and a computer screen.

  I examined the man in front of me. He’d become handsome. That wasn’t something I’d necessarily noticed, but the steady stream of dates in the last two years was hard to miss. He’d sort of grown into his face, his rounded chin now a chiselled jaw, the small lines around his eyes conveying maturity. His square shoulders and lean body that of a man at his peak. He’d traded the gaming for outdoor runs.

  He’d told reporters before that he loved running up and down Arthur’s Seat because the world-conquering view from the top of Edinburgh’s dormant volcano inspired his best business ideas. I knew better. It was because he’d been a little pudgy at Uni. He’d been teased for it by the Business students he often trailed to pick up snippets of advice on venture capital. He’d felt cursed by his weight. And even though he’d attempted to hide it, I could always tell when he tried his luck with a girl and it hadn’t worked. He’d brood for days.

  His physique had since changed, and so had his luck. And once the acquisition released his millions, he’d have even more women flocking to him. I didn’t like the way that happened, women throwing themselves at rich men. It happened the other way, too, of course, only less often. And could I really blame them? A lot of these girls didn’t have many opportunities.

  My mind flashed through the many nights with him in my digs, working out our plan of attack, arguing about the features of Empisoft 0.1, eating oily fish and chips. We were a team. We were a team for a long time. What happened?

  I smiled at the interviewer and quipped, ‘He wears a better type of shirt.’

  After the two had a good giggle, I asked, ‘Anything else?’

  Jessica patted her notebook. ‘I think I’ve got everything I need. Thanks a lot.’ Turning to Justin, she said, ‘I’ll be in touch about the photo shoot, okay?’

  Justin reached the door first and held it open. The woman was halfway out. I’d wanted to wait with confronting him until I’d formed a plan with the others but having him alone proved too much of a temptation. ‘Jessica, do you mind making your own way out? Justin and I need to talk. Sorry. I know it’s a bit rude—’

  ‘That’s okay.’ She gave a mournful wave no doubt regretting not getting a proper goodbye from this hot, eligible businessman.

  ‘What was that all about?’ Justin asked. ‘You know the drill. We’ve done this a dozen times before,’ he said.

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry. Did I not big you up enough?’

  ‘Don’t be like that. What’s gotten into you? You’re like a different person.’

  ‘I’m a different person? Are you kidding me? Mr Chosen One. Strike that. Mr Chosen One number 2.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Your Twitter handle. @chosenone2.’

  A deep frown furrowed his brow. ‘How? Why —’

  ‘Why do you d
o it?’

  ‘Why do I do what? I still don’t know what Twitter’s got to do with anything,’ he said, wide-eyed.

  ‘You have an anonymous account. It’s horrible.’

  ‘Oh that.’ He chuckled. ‘That’s not for real. You know me.’ He rested his bum on the conference table. ‘It’s how I wind down. It’s a game... of strategy and influence. I like to see how far I can go.’

  ‘Telling others to ruin people’s lives?’

  ‘I wouldn’t put it that way.’

  I poked my finger in his chest. ‘You’re an egomaniac.’

  He swatted my hand away. ‘I’m just toying with a bunch of losers. It’s an experiment. All these worked up highly flammable dudes itching for a fight. I like to send them off scurrying with their pitchforks. And they have no idea who I am. They think I’m one of them: sad, pathetic, unable to get laid. Idiots,’ he snorted.

  I winced. ‘That’s not fun. You destroy people, Justin. Women. It’s criminal.’

  ‘Now hold on there.’ He raised both hands in defence. ‘Given that you’ve been snooping through my Twitter account — and I don’t even want to know how you found out that was me — you’ll also know that I never say anything that could be considered harassment. Or make any direct threats.’

  My mouth hung open. It sounded as though he’d consulted a lawyer. How insane would that be? Dear solicitor, please can you explain where the line is, because I’d like to commit many atrocities online, just not crimes. Didn’t he know? Nobody knew where the line was. Even the police said it was too hard to tell. There was a pool of obvious black on one side — calls for rape and physical assault — and a pool of white on the other. Everything else in between was a foaming, turbulent ocean of grey.

  ‘You did worse,’ I said. ‘You incited others to make threats, to hurl abuse. You stirred them up until they could only see one way of thinking. They were your puppets.’ I counted the insults on my fingers. ‘The woman is wrong. She’s a heartless, manipulative slut. Go get her. Emily is a cunt and deserves to die.’

  Justin flinched. ‘Emily?’

  I dropped my hands. My shoulders slumped. Angry tears flooded out. I hated that; it made me look weak. I wasn’t weak. These were streams of pure rage. I wiped my cheek with the palm of my hand and sniffed. ‘You’re a monster. She was my friend.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Justin said, his head bowed.

  Was this an admission?

  He stroked the surface of the table. ‘I didn’t know who the Adam Mooney accuser was when I started. It was just some girl. When I saw she was Emily — when the photo came out — I stopped. I was horrified. You have to believe me. But the damage was done. It was like a frenzy of ravenous rats.’

  ‘You could have stopped them,’ I said. ‘People listened to you. That’s how I found @chosenone2. I ran Network Impact on the Twitter abuse. You came out as the biggest inciter. You had influence.’

  Justin stiffened. ‘Network Impact singled me out? I mean, I knew what I was doing was working. I could see it in their reactions... I never thought I mattered so much.’ He reached for my shoulder. ‘I never meant to harm Emily.’

  I shook him off me. ‘No, you thought it was perfectly fine to harm some woman you didn’t know. Why? Because they used to reject you? Was your ego bruised?’ I gasped at a sudden realisation. ‘You asked Emily out once, and she said no. Is that why?’

  His face turned a light grey. ‘No, I told you. I didn’t do anything once I knew they targeted Emily.’

  ‘You should say “we” targeted her. You made this happen.’ My jaw was sore from clenching my teeth.

  ‘That’s not fair.’ He stood, his full frame facing me ‘Yes, it was mean, I admit. But it wasn’t real life. These were people thousands of miles away, screaming into the ether. Screaming things nobody is forced to read. Emily could have stepped away from it all. She didn’t, and I’m sorry this affected her so incredibly badly.’ He rubbed his chin and sighed. ‘It was supposed to stay online. It was a game. I was testing the subliminal command stuff I’d developed years ago. You remember?’

  A flicker of recognition. That war game back at Uni. Was he still working on that? I shook my head. ‘I don’t care why you did this. Your intention is irrelevant. All I know is you are guilty.’

  His eyes bored into me. ‘You can’t pin this on me. I accept I let it get a little out of hand, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it now.’

  I trembled, my fists white with balled-up fury. ‘There’s plenty I can do, Justin. You sit tight and see,’ I hissed and walked out the door.

  His excuses rattled in my head. Would Emily still be alive if only she’d stopped looking? My heart sank thinking how I’d failed to protect her. I should’ve stayed on top of her more...

  I shook my head. No. I wasn’t to blame.

  Nor was Emily.

  He was.

  48

  SUKI

  At her desk, Suki pasted a link into the secure folder containing the latest version of the Empisoft due diligence into an email to the lawyers. They’d better be quick; it needed doing that day. She re-read her note to make sure it conveyed the necessary level of urgency. Lawyers were always slow. No matter how much you tried to project manage them into starting things early, they always ended up being the bottleneck to any deal. You’d think they’d learn.

  The instructions were simple, and it shouldn’t take long. All they needed to do was double-check everything was inside before she could pass the link to the PeopleForce team.

  She rubbed her eyes and stretched her arms to the ceiling. She burped. Who cares? Everyone else was gone for the night. Her desk was practically clear, everything stacked in a single pile of documents to shred when the deal went through.

  Her coffee would be cold. She shook her stainless-steel water bottle to feel its weight. Only a dribble left. She licked her lips. Parched.

  In the kitchen, she filled her bottle from the tap and searched through the cupboards. ‘Ha,’ she said, finding leftover biscuits she’d missed the other nights she’d skipped dinner lately.

  Not long to go. The deal would be over the line within days. They’d have the obligatory blowout celebration and she’d take a few days off to recover. Sleep. Shop!

  Her mobile rang in the distance. Who could it be at this hour? Knowing the lawyers would also be working late, she ran to her desk.

  A mobile number she didn’t recognise.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hello, Suki?’

  ‘Yes. Who is this?’

  ‘Natalie. I left Madainn around the time you started. Pam asked me to call you. I hope it’s not too late?’

  ‘No,’ said Suki, sitting down. ‘I’m glad you called.’

  It had been a while since her former colleague Pam had suggested Natalie might be willing to speak about why she left the firm so suddenly. She’d forgotten all about it. Having her on the line, she felt a tingle of excitement. Would she get more dirt on Angus?

  Suki uttered the polite platitudes that were expected, enquiring about Natalie’s current situation, making positive sounds about the new job she’d secured. Once she figured she’d put Natalie sufficiently at ease, she asked the big question. ‘When Angus negotiated your payoff, what was it for? What did he say?’

  ‘It wasn’t Angus. It was Diane.’

  It felt as though the floor dropped an inch. ‘Huh? Are you sure?’

  ‘Yes of course I’m sure,’ Natalie said tersely. ‘I don’t know if you’ve ever been bullied, Suki, or sexually harassed, but that’s not something you forget easily. And it’s not every day you get paid a five-figure sum to bugger off and keep quiet.’

  It wasn’t what Suki had expected, but, thinking about it, if you wanted to handle things sensitively and not inflame matters in a no doubt already gender-charged situation, it made sense to send in the female partner. Have her clean up after him.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Suki said. ‘I guess I’m disappointed that Diane was willing to cover u
p for Angus like that.’ Suki scratched her head. ‘I know this might be hard to talk about. I’m grateful you called. Could you give me an indication of what he did to you? I don’t need any details.’

  Natalie sighed. ‘Why do you keep talking about Angus? I don’t know what you think went on. I was harassed by Robert.’ Suki’s cheeks tingled as Natalie continued, ‘I went to see Diane to complain. I have kids. They’re younger than hers, but I thought that if I went to her, mother to mother, she’d be horrified, like I would be, and do something about it. Turns out, instead of keeping her son in check, she gave me a big cheque.’

  The room swirled around Suki. ‘You’re telling me Angus had nothing to do with it?’

  ‘No. Well...’

  ‘Well what?’

  ‘He’ll have known what happened because Diane doesn’t have the authority to approve that size of payment. It takes both of them,’ Natalie said. ‘He must have just done what she told him to.’

  Suki bit her lip. ‘Do you think?’

  ‘I don’t know. Aside from being an old-fashioned, pompous sexist who doesn’t seem to see what’s happening in front of his nose because he’s always self-importantly in his office, he’s probably not to blame. I guess he didn’t want his firm besmirched.’

  The cogs in Suki’s mind whirred. ‘Maybe Diane’s got something on him.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Never mind,’ Suki said. ‘I’m sorry you had to go through that, Natalie. Thanks a lot for the call. One more thing.’ Suki braced herself. With one answer everything could be tipped upside down. ‘Did the same thing happen to Pam? Was Diane covering up for her son?’

  The line went silent for a few seconds. ‘Don’t tell her I told you, but yes.’

  Suki sunk deep into her chair and massaged her forehead with her fingers. How could she have gotten it so wrong? It was Diane... She’d played her.