Ever Lonely (Ever James Band Book 1)

by Kimberly Lauren

  “No, don’t blame Noah. He was passed out when I got back last night. I just couldn’t go to sleep. My brain was running ninety miles a minute.”

  I couldn’t tell her that my brain was scolding me for running off on Rhett last night. Or the fact that I enjoyed our open mic session a little too much. I couldn’t get the adrenaline inside of me to calm down for even a minute. Singing alongside Rhett was how I had always imagined performing would feel when I was a little girl. Before I was introduced to reality.

  Dreamers got crushed in this industry. I’d had to become a realist and sing what I was told to sing and perform how I was told to perform. That was how I got where I was today. Rhett wasn’t the rock star. I was.

  "You need coffee." Lola interrupted my thoughts and turned to her giant color palette spread out in front of me. I watched her deliberate over what eye shadow she wanted to use on me today. Lola often had an arm covered in color swatches that she mixed on her skin. She was indeed an artist, no matter what people said.

  “Oh, June would have a conniption! ‘Caffeine’s bad for your skin, Ever.’” I could mimic my mother’s annoying tone in my sleep. “‘We’ll lose magazine covers if your face is all blotchy and broken out, Ever.’” I rolled my eyes. “I love when she uses the word we. Like she’s actually out there doing any work at all.”

  “What does she do exactly?” Lola laughed.

  "She thinks she's my manager, but in reality, Amanda's been booking my gigs and handling my career for three years now."

  “Stop paying her then, Ever!” She swatted my shoulder.

  “It’s just not worth it. I’d rather pay her and have her shut up than deal with the true hell she would make my life if she couldn’t afford her Louboutins or her weekly spa and plastic surgery sessions.”

  The irony that my mother donned the same first name as one of America's most beloved mothers wasn't lost on me. June James was nothing—I repeat, nothing—like June Cleaver. They were on the absolute opposite ends of the mothering spectrum.

  "You're a chicken," Lola said, chuckling. "Sounds like she's not quiet enough."

  I yawned again, trying to think of ways I could kick this fatigue. I had already seen my trainer this morning, and even though my legs felt as if I were trudging through mud, I made it through. I thought exercise released endorphins. Where were my damn endorphins? I had a fitting, a shoot and interviews today that weren't going to wait around for me to wake the hell up.

  “Hey, do you have any of those energizing mint things you gave me before the Grammys last year?” I asked with hope in my voice. Those things were a real kick in the ass for me.

  “Yeah, I should. Dig around in my purse.” She pointed toward her large Fendi tote that had been tossed haphazardly under the cabinet.

  “They are legal, right?” I asked.

  “Do you want to keep your eyes open for that fitting today, or do you want to be all ethical?”

  I groaned. “Sometimes I wonder who the bad influence is around here.”

  “There’s nothing in there that will harm you.” She waved me off.

  I didn't believe her, but it didn't stop me from leaping from the swivel seat and crouching down to dig through her Mary Poppins bag. This thing was never-ending. I had witnessed her pull one of everything out of here over the years.

  And I eventually found the tin. Once I passed the hairbrushes, the strip of condoms, a few makeup palettes, a pair of lace panties and some questionable lubes.

  I popped two white mints directly into my mouth. “Please don’t ever make me dig in there again. But do tell me about your night last night and why you would ever need to carry around that many condoms.” I laughed.

  I heard a manly chuckle from behind me, and Lola squeaked.

  "Never hurts to be prepared," a deep voice said. I knew that voice.

  I shot straight up to my feet and gasped when I saw Rhett standing in my doorway with his guitar case strapped to his back. The mints in my mouth slid down and lodged in my throat, stuck side by side. I gasped again and tried to cough, but that seemed only to wedge them down further. I reached out and grabbed Lola's forearm. Squeezing hard, I tried to get her attention, but her eyes were wide and focused on Rhett.

  "Hi," she purred at him. I would call her a slut if I could say anything at all.

  “Whoa, is she okay?” Rhett asked. I shook my head back and forth while holding my throat. It was really beginning to terrify me.

  “She’s fine,” Lola said in her sexiest voice, yet she hadn’t even looked in my direction.

  I tried to cough, but no air made it past the blockage.

  Panic.

  Sheer panic raced through my veins.

  I was wide-awake now. Wasn’t there a way to give myself the Heimlich? I didn’t even know how to do the Heimlich on someone else, let alone on myself. Should I try pushing hard on my stomach? Or wasn’t there a way to lean over a chair? Shit, I was going to die here while Lola was ogling Rhett right in front of me. The tabloids would have a field day with that.

  Ever James Dies Downing Illegal Mints

  June would be livid if her cash cow croaked. My poor dad… And would Noah even care? The thoughts raced through my mind as I started to see black spots in my vision.

  “Shit, she’s choking!” Rhett called out while crossing the room in three quick strides. I heard a thud as his guitar hit the ground. Fleetingly, I thought how every time before this he had acted as if that guitar were his baby. How could he be so careless?

  “What?!” Lola cried.

  Rhett’s arms wrapped around my midsection, and immediately I tensed for what was coming. The upward thrust squeezed my insides, and I tried to cough. Nothing. Still no air! My vision was going completely black. I felt Rhett heave his grasped hands up into my stomach again.

  And as quickly as they had gotten stuck, the mints were gone. My lungs seized with the sudden gift of oxygen. My knees buckled, but Rhett caught me around the middle. I gasped, trying to get my brain and breaths to calm down. I held onto his arms that were securely locked around me.

  "You're okay now," he whispered into my ear from behind. I soaked in that voice and forced my breathing to match his. I could feel his chest against my back, and slowly my head began to clear. The haze in my vision was gone. A headache began to throb behind my eyes, but it was better than oxygen deprivation.

  “Oh my God, Ever!” Lola exclaimed. She reached out, grabbed me from Rhett’s arms, and pulled me tight against her. “I’m so sorry! Oh my God, I almost killed Ever James!”

  I started to laugh as I pushed back from her, although now I could feel that my throat was a bit sore. "I think the mints were the culprit, not you, Lolz."

  “Never do that again!” She softly smacked me on the shoulder.

  “It’s not high on my to-do list, trust me,” I rasped out.

  “Oh, shit did I ruin your voice?” The panic in her eyes told me she had heard the extra rasp.

  "I'll be fine. I just need to drink something."

  “Here… what about this?” Rhett grabbed a bottle of water on a nearby table that hadn’t been opened.

  “Yes, thank you,” I looked up at him and our eyes locked.

  It hadn’t crossed my mind, what with the near death-experience, but Rhett still had no idea who I was. Until now…

  “Hold up a sec…” Rhett whispered. His mouth dropped open and he closed it after a few beats. “It’s you…”

  Lola and I stared at Rhett while he stared back at me.

  “It’s you… and you’re… you’re…” He was baffled. But I stayed quiet. “Holy shit, you’re Ever James. Ever fucking James! And you were Ever James last night? But your hair… and then earlier in the subway… What?!” He paced back and forth in front of us with his fingers pulling at his hair.

  Lola gaped at him, perplexed. “Last night? And what’s this about the subway?”

  “Holy shit!” he exclaimed again while runni
ng his fingers roughly through his wild hair. “I performed with Ever James last night.”

  "You don't have to keep saying my full name like that."

  "Yeah, you're fangirling a little hard.” Lola chuckled. “You might want to reel that back in."

  “Wait… Sienna knew, didn’t she? Is that why she was so crazy last night?”

  I nodded my head and said, “And Gage, but not Alex.”

  “Who are these people? Where did you go without me?” Lola demanded.

  "Damn, that explains so much,” Rhett persisted. “Why didn't I see it?" He continued to stare at me, and I watched a myriad of emotions cross his face. "You know I've seen you with three different hair colors in the past twenty-four hours. The blonde is way better."

  "Thank you," Lola said happily… and a little haughtily. She hated when I wore wigs almost as much as I did, since it was her hard work being covered up.

  “Thank you,” I also replied. He was still staring at me, and I wondered if it was the shock of seeing a celebrity or something more significant. The man that I couldn’t get out of my mind all night long was standing in my hotel suite.

  “Wait a second, what are you doing here? In my home?” I asked Rhett.

  “Isn’t this is a hotel?” He gestured around my suite.

  He was right. I didn’t know why I’d called it ‘home.’ I was staying at the Four Seasons while my apartment was under construction.

  Impulsively, I had decided to redesign the entire top two floors of the building I had been living in for the past four years after a few plumbing issues had been discovered and needed extensive repairs. Little did I know it would take months to finish, so I was forced to move out temporarily.

  I waved him off. “Whatever. You know what I mean. Why are you here? How are you here?” I couldn’t imagine security would just let him pass.

  “I have a meeting with Jay Kidd and Keith Spark,” he stated.

  Lola's mouth dropped open, but she remained surprisingly quiet. I knew she would hound me the second he was gone.

  I didn’t miss a beat though and asked, "You have a meeting with my label manager and my music producer?”

  Rhett immediately looked uncomfortable. “Um… I guess it appears I do. Rose asked me to meet her up here. She got me cleared with the army of security you’ve got out there. I was patted down three separate times on my way up.”

  "Yes, and I'll need to recheck you, sir," Lola said while wiggling her fingers at him.

  I ignored her flirtatious come-ons and dropped back down in my chair sullenly.

  “What is going on?” I whispered, mostly to myself.

  “Don’t start stressing just yet, babe,” Lola said into my ear.

  “Ev-er!” I heard Noah call my name from the bedroom.

  Lola slapped her hand over my lips and said, “Don’t you respond to that. He needs to come in here and find you his own damn self. Rude ass man… thinking he can yell for you…”

  Did I mention that Lola wasn’t a fan of my boyfriend? Seriously, she wasn’t.

  She went back to running her fingers through my waves and teasing areas that needed more volume. I sat back, ready to get the whole prep session done.

  "Ever," Noah said again, although this time he walked into the room we were all in. I watched him through the mirror placed in front of me. "Ever, have you seen… Shit." He laughed. "You look different without makeup. Sometimes it’s still a little weird to see," the bastard said.

  “I’m sorry, we can’t all wake up at ten and be ready for our day in five minutes.” I rolled my eyes. Noah was one of those lucky guys who woke up gorgeous and camera-ready. I did not. “Usually boyfriends compliment their girlfriends. You should try it sometime.”

  “I do…” he started. I knew he was going to try and backtrack, so I waved him off.

  “Get the hell out of here,” Lola practically growled.

  Rhett glared at him as well, crossing his arms in front of his chest. I saw his fists clench until they were white.

  But this was Noah. He was blunt and shameless most of the time, and I understood most didn't appreciate it. He just had no filter on his mouth. That was one thing that I used to like. With Noah, you always knew what you were getting.

  "Your script is in the kitchen," I told him, already knowing what he was there to ask for.

  Lola rolled her eyes while starting to massage moisturizer onto my face. “Be careful, your eyes might get stuck if you do that too much.” I chuckled. “Let’s just finish.” I didn’t want to give her a chance to make a comment towards Noah.

  Noah eyed Rhett for a moment and then appeared to deem him not worth his time, so he turned on his heel and headed for the kitchen. Noah was a bit snobby and seemed to shun people who didn't wear designer clothes. How he could tell, I didn't know. For all he knew, those sexy dark jeans Rhett had on that hugged his butt just right could have been Balmain or Versace. Although the gray hoodie he wore probably gave him away.

  When Noah and I first started dating, he was the epitome of sweet. And accommodating. And generous. But somewhere along the line, he grew comfortable and didn't feel the need to be that charming boyfriend anymore. That's probably typical male behavior though, right?

  He was always here, and I needed that. I hated being alone, so at the end of the day I let him stay because I'd rather be with him than all by my lonesome. This life could be isolating even with people always around.

  “I’ll be on set all day. Don’t know what time I’ll be done,” Noah called out before closing the door behind him.

  “He doesn’t even tell you goodbye, Ever,” Lola said through clenched teeth.

  “He’s already got his mind on his scenes today,” I tried to defend him, although I didn’t know why anymore.

  “Dude’s an asshole,” Rhett growled.

  Before I could say anything, I heard Rose's voice. "Oh good. You made it!" I watched her walk in from the hallway where the additional bedrooms were located.

  “Told you I would,” Rhett responded.

  “Alright, let’s head down to the conference room,” she announced. “Oh, and Ever, you’re going to have to chill with the wigs. You’ve been caught.” She waved a set of papers in her hands and dropped them onto my lap.

  I looked down at the tabloid that I despised the most. Looking at crap like this was never good for my mood. I couldn’t escape them even if I wanted to because people like my assistant felt it necessary I knew what was being said about me.

  Declining Record Sales Aren’t The Only Thing Ever James is Dealing With Lately… Atrocious Wigs Seem To Be Plaguing Her As Well

  If you haven’t seen Ever James around the city lately, look a little harder. It could be the girl walking down the subway with the nasty, dried-out black hair next to you. Or the girl at the bar with the frizzy brown hair sharing a few laughs. Ever James seems to have been spotted around the city wearing not one but two ghastly wigs. Where is her stylist and why was she okay with this atrocity?

  I threw the papers to the ground, not allowing myself to read anymore. Or to look at the photos of me wearing the wigs with the stupid little comment bubbles written in white that the gossip blogger loved to scribble on top of celebrities. I hated him.

  “Ready?” Rose asked Rhett. He nodded his head and picked up his guitar case. I watched as he slung it around to his back and made way for the door.

  “Nice meeting you, Rhett. Thanks for saving my girl’s life,” Lola called out.

  “Yeah, thanks,” I added. I should have thanked him ages ago.

  “See you ladies around. Oh, and for the record, I prefer the makeup-free look,” he said, gesturing to my still bare face. I smiled and nodded my head.

  “That was… sweet,” Lola whispered after he walked out.

  “He was just trying to be nice after what Noah said.”

  “Noah’s a jerk,” she responded, without missing a beat.

  Before the slow-m
oving hotel door could latch closed, it swung back open. Rhett popped his head in, and our eyes met. I noticed the expression on his face had changed from earlier, so I waited for whatever he had to say.

  "Ah… so…” He rubbed his chin. “I just remembered what I said last night. About you. Even though I didn't know it was you… I was an ass." He stumbled over his words, and I could see how uncomfortable he was. "I'm sorry."

  "Don't worry about it," I replied. "It's not the worst thing that's ever been said about me, and let's be honest, I can be an attention whore.”

  “You still didn’t deserve that. I apologize,” he quickly added. “Have a good day.” He looked at me a beat longer and disappeared out the door again.

  Lola thankfully waited until we heard the latch click before she squealed, "I love him! Seriously… loooove." I let out a little laugh, and she continued. "It should be illegal how hot he is. Where did you find him? I haven't met a guy like that in… forever. Hot, yet… humble and sweet. He's like an endangered species in this city, Ever."

  I couldn’t help but full-on laugh now. “He is pretty smokin’,” I said through my giggles.

  She turned her back to me and started prepping the makeup she was going to slather on my face. I looked down at the papers scattered across the floor and sighed. It wasn't just that I was called out on the wigs. I mean, even I thought they were horrible but they did their job. It appeared I had been spotted, but at least I hadn't been mobbed.

  It was more so the ugly call-out on my declining record sales, something I was bitched about on a daily basis lately. Usually when sales started to dip, some of the people on my marketing team convinced me to get myself into some kind of mayhem—all for the sake of putting the attention back on me. For some reason, I always went for it and it always worked. I would spike back up into the top of the charts whenever I had a wardrobe malfunction, got caught smoking an unidentifiable substance or had a massive blowout with a boyfriend in front of one of New York's most prominent restaurants.

  I sighed again. I wondered what it would be this time. How would they spin some crazy story to garner more attention?