Ever Lonely (Ever James Band Book 1)

by Kimberly Lauren

  “You’re slouching,” Lola pointed out.

  I straightened my spine and nodded toward Rose to begin the recording.

  My face transformed. It wasn't fake—there was just something that happened to my soul when I spoke to my fans. They were everything to me. It was their opinion that I cared about more than anyone else's. Not the critics who wrote articles for magazines, not the TV hosts that I had to endure countless interviews with, and definitely not the label.

  My fans. The ones that have stuck with me through it all. I knew they would accept the situation if I did.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Rhett looking right at me and not the camera. He was watching me so intensely I squirmed a bit in my seat. I couldn’t let him distract me. We had an announcement to make.

  "Hi, loves!" I began. "I know you've all seen the video of me and this guy." I pointed my thumb at Rhett, and he finally looked at the camera and gave a small grin. A hundred million panties just hit the floor.

  I had to speed through the rest of the video, trying to fit everything I needed to say in such a short window. "Well… I wanted you to hear from me first that he'll be joining the band. I'm super excited to collaborate with him, and I can't wait to see the fresh new ideas he'll bring to our music. So everyone, meet Rhett Grayson."

  “Hi everyone.” He waved casually. Did you hear that? That’s the sound of more cotton hitting the floor. Ugh. These girls were going to love him.

  “You’ll hear more from us soon. And no, we aren’t dating,” I threw in at the end with a mega smile.

  "Wait, we aren't?" Rhett asked with his arm around my shoulders and a Cheshire cat grin.

  “Perfect!” Rose exclaimed after she clicked the recording off.

  “No, we have to do it again. He ruined the end.”

  “It was perfect. I’m already posting it,” Rose stated with a smile as she scrolled through my phone.

  “What? No! He totally left that open to speculation.”

  "It's okay to let them speculate some, Ever. You know how it is. The more you have them talking, the better it’ll be. Looks like he's picking things up fast."

  I glared daggers at them both. Don’t let them see you sitting on a bed together, but it’s okay for them to speculate about your relationship. Sure, that made perfect sense.

  Rhett smiled and said, “No, I was genuinely asking. I thought we were an item now.”

  “Smartass,” I grumbled.

  “Yep, welcome to what I have to deal with on a daily basis.” Sienna joined us and linked her arm with mine. “Can we drink now? That was way too much work.”

  “No joke. All that for just twenty seconds,” Rhett said, snagging a pen off the dresser and sticking it between his teeth.

  “Now you know how all the girls you’ve been with feel.” I smiled innocently.

  After he picked his jaw up off the floor, a slow smile spread across Rhett’s face. “You’re kind of a spitfire and I don’t hate it.”

  Gage and Alex belted out laughs, and again I felt genuine excitement being around this group. I might actually have fun tonight.

  — SEVEN —

  Monumental Records reserved a studio for the band to practice so that we could get comfortable with our new addition. Usually, we were sent to a studio in SoHo or downtown when we had to record an album. But for practice purposes, we were summoned to Brooklyn. I'm sure they thought they were clever by having us go all the way across the bridge. Less attention. Fewer paparazzi.

  That was kind of hard when the men with cameras practically camped outside of my hotel. A swarm of bodies surrounded Beau's black Range Rover the second I stepped foot out of the hotel. The doorman looked at Beau and me with pity in his eyes, as if to tell us ‘good luck’ and that he wouldn't be jumping into that mess. I tried to give him an ‘I don’t blame you, pal’ look right back.

  Beau's arms spread out in a broad gesture, creating a moving wall around me. I heard him complaining under his breath about how he should have hired more guys for today.

  The paparazzi weren't usually this bad. I should have given Beau a heads-up, since I knew I would be stirring the pot when I posted that video with Rhett.

  I was paying for it now though with Beau’s constant gripes in my ear. I was also wincing at the shouts around me.

  “Where’s Rhett?”

  “Is he still in your hotel?”

  “Did he spend the night?”

  “Are you two dating?” Did they even watch the video?

  “Are you two sleeping together?”

  “Where did you meet him?”

  “What about Noah? Are you cheating on him?”

  “Are you leaving the band?" That one made me stumble. I turned to respond, but Beau's hand clasped gently yet firmly around my bicep and urged me forward.

  “Is Rhett taking your place?”

  “Of course not!” I couldn’t help but shout over Beau’s broad shoulder.

  You’d have thought I knew better by now. The first rule of dealing with photographers was to not encourage them by answering their asinine questions.

  You gave them an inch, they took a mile. Questions were flying at me even louder in hopes that I was now open to answering. Once they realized I was easily riled, they flung accusations left and right at me. Bodies surrounded us, and Beau began pushing people back with force.

  I practically jumped into the SUV, not even needing my security's hasty shove. Once the door was closed, I heard the locks click. I took a huge breath and let it go, soaking in the silence. There was pandemonium outside of the car, but inside—for just that moment, at least—it was still.

  I pushed my Dior sunglasses off my head and fought the urge to rub my eyes. There was a headache brewing from the chaos I knew was only beginning. When I carelessly tossed the black lenses down on the seat next to me, I cringed. Those were at least five hundred dollars. They had been handed out like candy as swag at the last award show I attended.

  I quickly scooped them up and apologized silently to the fashion gods. I didn’t mean it, I swear.

  Beau made his way around the front, bumping his shoulder into anyone that tried to shove past him to get a picture of me through the windshield. The side windows were heavily tinted, but they could still get a shot from the front. I leaned to the right to hide behind the front seat. My bodyguard slipped in and slammed the door, then shifted his body to turn and face me.

  His eyes glared at me, and I waved my hand at him dismissively. "I know, I know. I broke rule number one." Never hype the paparazzi in mob-like situations. It made him nervous.

  “I’m putting extra security in place. At least until this dies down.” Beau turned back around and messed with the radio.

  “Fantastic…” I groaned. “Another thing I can thank Rose and Rhett for.”

  My phone buzzed in my purse, and I reached down to fish it out. Unexpectedly, I heard the locks click, and the door next to me started to open. My stomach hit the floor, and I flung my body across the backseat, away from the intruder. All I could picture was some scummy paparazzi getting in and coming after me. Rose's small frame squeezed in, and she slammed the door behind her. A breath of relief escaped my lungs.

  When I realized that Beau knew she was coming because he had to have unlocked the door, I reached up and smacked him on the shoulder.

  "Don't do that!" I rasped out between clenched teeth. My hand lay on my chest, trying to slow my heartbeat.

  Even though I had been in the business for years now, the crushing crowds still freaked me out. People sometimes became fanatic, and a few of those fanatics were even scary and obsessive. I've had stalkers. I've had men grab me. I've had girls sneak into my dressing rooms. I've had determined paparazzi hide, trying to get extremely personal pictures of me.

  And I’ve been put into dangerous circumstances before. Most of those situations occurred off of Beau’s watch, but because of that, he rarely went off-the-clock anymo
re and had become much more neurotic in watching out for me.

  "I was just letting her in," he stated while turning to look at me. "Shit, you're pale."

  “I thought they…” I began to speak. “Oh, never mind.” I didn’t like when this life scared me.

  “Sweets, I’m sorry.” The worry lines on his forehead were showing. “I thought you knew she was coming with us.”

  “No… I didn’t,” I said, turning my attention to the traitorous brunette beside me.

  She glanced at me for a moment and quickly gave her full attention to the iPad in her hands. I watched as she scrolled through her calendar and then into one of her four email accounts.

  "You can stay at the studio until three. You're already two hours late so you won't get the full amount of practice time. At three, we'll have to hurry, but I think we can make it back into the city and up to Fifty-Seventh for the Cosmo meet-up. They just want to go over the look and feel of your next cover. They were also hoping for a few spreads on the inside, but we can discuss that." She continued on while I stared in amazement.

  The balls on this woman!

  I waited while she rambled on about the meeting and what she thought they would want to talk about. She speculated that they would ask if Rhett could appear in a few pictures with me. Ah yes, Rhett…

  “Maybe you got mixed messages when Amanda asked you to help with the announcement, but you’re still fired, Rose,” I asserted.

  “You don’t mean that,” she said, sounding so sure of herself.

  “I most certainly do,” I almost growled.

  "It's been a week and a half… you're not over this yet? It's really tough to be someone's assistant when I'm not allowed to be in the same room as her."

  My mouth gaped open. “Beau, should I use my invisibility powers for good or for evil?”

  “Ever, this is ridiculous.” Rose huffed. “I know everything about you. I know how you like all of your meals. I know how to convince photographers which side is actually your good side during photo shoots. I know when to schedule an appointment with your gynecologist. I have every single one of your appointments mapped out almost a year in advance. My calendar looks like a damn jigsaw puzzle. I know how to handle your mother, for crying out loud! I know all of your secrets, and I don’t mean that to sound threatening. Because I would never say a word. Can you imagine having to start from square one with someone new?”

  “No! That’s why I’m so mad you did this to me! You were my friend!”

  “I never meant to hurt you, I swear,” she said, her voice softening. “I know I’m just the lowly assistant that no one pays attention to, but I do pay attention. The label didn’t like your slipping sales. They said you needed something big. A few weeks ago, I came across Rhett and I just knew he would be great. He would be your something big. So I showed them the video of the two of you and they were actually excited again for Ever James Band. You see, I did this for you. It was never supposed to cause all of this.”

  It was funny to me that we were having this conversation in the backseat of Beau's SUV while photographers buzzed around us. I could see them through the tinted glass, clamoring for one more picture. I wondered if they were concocting some story about us sitting in a car just talking. Did I look mad when I spoke to Rose? If so, there was no telling the stories that would be invented. Although they could create a devious tale even if I had been smiling at her.

  It was nice to finally hear her side of the story. It would have been even nicer to hear her plan before she took it to the label behind my back. I could still see the Rose that was a hard worker, but my faith in her had slipped.

  I felt the car jolt as Beau finally started to navigate through the mayhem.

  “I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust you again,” I said quietly. "Next time you won't be able to guilt me out of firing you. I don't care what you know about me. Or how good of an assistant you are." It's not often that I stood up for myself, but I felt like that was something she needed to know. Besides Lola and Beau, Rose was one of my closest confidants. A trust broken in my inner circle really stung.

  "There won't be a next time." She glanced up at me. I nodded my head, and we both slid our big sunglasses down our faces at the same time, concealing any further emotions.

  To break the tension, I turned my scrutiny to the big man in the front. Who, by default, knew everything there was to know about me… and more. He often stayed silent, but I knew he was always paying attention. Little did he know I paid attention, too.

  “Beau?” I called. He grunted in response. “Isn’t your mom’s birthday coming up?” I watched as he eyed me through the rearview mirror.

  He didn't respond at first, but he knew I could wait him out. "It is."

  "So you'll be going to visit soon." It wasn’t a question.

  “Not this time around, sweets. Maybe in a few months.”

  “In a few months we’ll be touring, so you know that’s impossible. You need to go see your mom.” I knew she was older and had been sick on and off this past year. Who knew how many birthdays she had left? I wouldn’t be responsible for him not seeing her as much as he possibly could.

  He sighed. “We can talk more about this later.”

  “No need. I booked the jet for you the weekend of her birthday. And I already told her you’re coming.” I smiled widely at him, knowing I had won. No matter how much he didn’t want to leave me in the hands of others, I knew he wanted to see his family just as much—if not more.

  “You make my job harder, sweets,” he scolded.

  "And your life better. It's a good trade-off, I think."

  I swore I saw the sides of his lips lift in a smile, but it was gone before I could be sure.

  I was right, though. He needed to go. Making sure security here was tight would be tough, but I knew he would leave me in good hands.

  Rose babbled about my schedule for the rest of the ride to Brooklyn, but I tried to zone out. It didn't really matter if I memorized when I needed to be where or not. I was going to be herded from place to place anyway.

  Get your hair and makeup done, Ever.

  Get in the car, Ever.

  Smile, Ever.

  This way, Ever. That way, Ever.

  I couldn't remember the last time I decided how I would spend my day. Then the realization hit me. I was wearing thousands of dollars in clothing, being chauffeured around New York City and… complaining.

  I looked out the window as we crawled by in traffic and noticed a man in tattered clothing. He held a cup out for spare change. A woman ran by and the wind blew her hat from her head. The man, who I could only assume was homeless, picked it up and smiled as he handed it back to her. He was sitting on the cold, hard ground asking for money, and he was smiling. I silently berated myself for complaining about anything.

  “Beau, can you pull over?” I spoke up.

  “What was that?” Beau responded, looking through the rearview mirror at me.

  “Please, pull over. Here.” I could hear the urgency in my own voice, but I didn’t want to get too far away.

  Surprisingly, Beau smoothly pulled up to the curb, right next to the man. I pulled my purse up over my shoulder and reached for the door handle.

  “Ever!” Beau and Rose both shouted simultaneously.

  “Guys, I’ll be fine and back in a few seconds,” I said, right before I hopped out of the SUV and onto the sidewalk. The realization that decisions like this would seem so small to some but were enormous for me. I never acted spontaneous like this. Every step I took was calculated and carefully monitored.

  I dug through my purse as I approached the man sitting on the sidewalk. As it turned out, I had a stack of one hundred dollars bills wrapped in a brown currency strap deep in my bag. My dad would rake me over the coals if he knew I carried five thousand dollars in cash around with me. Hell, I had a feeling I was going to get an earful from Beau for it. But you never knew when you might be in
an emergency and need it. And look! It was coming in handy today.

  I approached the smiling man and bent forward. I had rolled the bills together, and they fit easily into his cup. He stared up at me, then down at his cup and back up at me. The second time he looked up at me, his mouth hung open.

  “That’s way too much. I was just hoping for a hamburger tonight,” he surprised me by saying.

  “I can go grab you a burger,” I started. “Do you like…” I looked around, hoping there was a restaurant in view. Spotting one, I asked, “Do you like Smashburger? I can run over there and get one.”

  I must have been rambling because he held out his hand. “Doll, you’re too generous. I can get my burger. Take the rest of this.” He held the cup toward me.

  “Please keep it. Buy some warm clothes. A good meal. You deserve it.”

  He cocked his head. “You don’t even know me, though.”

  “I don’t need to. I saw you smiling. You’re sitting out here in the cold and you’re still smiling. Please keep smiling.” What he didn’t understand was that my motives were selfish. It made me feel good to help him. To do something. I didn’t help enough and I needed to change that.

  “Oh, I’ll be smiling for a while now. It was nice to meet you…” he paused, not knowing my name.

  “Ever James,” I finished for him. “It was nice meeting you, too.”

  “Well, Miss Ever James, you have a blessed day.” He hadn’t even blinked an eye at my name.

  “You as well.” I nodded and turned back for the car.

  Beau was, of course, on the outside of the vehicle, ready to be of any assistance. Thankfully, he’d kept his distance though, with his back against the car. A small smile tugged on his lips as he opened my door for me. I ducked my head and scooted inside the warm vehicle.

  As we drove away, I looked at the man once again.

  I was blessed.

  This life was good.

  This life was what I wanted.

  The three things my dad always told me to remember. Thinking of him, I took my cell phone out and shot him a quick text, knowing he was already prepping the diner for the midday lunch rush. He responded right away.