Ever Lonely (Ever James Band Book 1)

by Kimberly Lauren

  I waved her off and looked back at the screen in my hand. I had been writing this week without Rhett. It hadn't been the same as bouncing ideas off one another, but it had helped me channel my anger.

  One song, in particular, had been roaming around in my head, but I knew that I would need his help with it eventually. Maybe I could send him a few lines. I wasn't ready to converse, but sending lyrics wasn’t exactly speaking to him.

  Me: Swirling black

  The second I hit ‘send,’ a huge sense of vulnerability washed over me. Even though they were two simple words, sharing something I had created was opening myself up to criticism unlike any I’d dealt with in my line of work. It was weird that I trusted Rhett so easily with my personal thoughts.

  I waited a few minutes. Radio silence. I imagined he was either very confused or being quiet to allow me to continue. I hoped it was the latter, so I decided to send more.

  Me: Glass on my back

  Rhett: Six words and I’m already writing the music in my head.

  Please, keep going.

  I smiled and gave him more.

  Me: How did I get here?

  Me: I don’t know where I’m at

  Rhett: Fuck, this is good. Don’t stop.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Lola laughed over my shoulder. “Fuck, this is good? Don’t stop?" she asked, mimicking Rhett's voice. "First you were ignoring him, and now you're sexting him?"

  “What? No!” I shouted. “I’m sending him lyrics that I’ve been working on.” I quickly typed out the next line so I could hide my phone from Ms. Nosy back there.

  "Damn, if he gets that amped over a few words, imagine what he would be like when he's coming?" She moaned a little bit, and I elbowed her.

  That was the last thing I needed in my head. The image of Rhett hovering above me, his skin glistening, maybe from a workout we had just finished or perhaps we’d been at it a while now. Maybe he had been holding himself back, allowing me to lose my mind as many times as possible before he would permit himself to succumb. Maybe he’d shove his face into my shoulder while he groaned out his last few thrusts. Maybe his teeth would bite down as he felt the electricity finally fly through him. Or maybe he would remain upright and allow me to watch his eyes roll back as he cursed my name in every delicious way possible.

  I shook off the vivid image and squirmed in my seat. Why the hell did I just do that to myself? That wasn’t something I needed to think about ever again.

  Because even the idea of Rhett coming had me worked up. I swear, if he walked in the door right now, I could not be held responsible for the things I would do to him.

  I heard a noise behind me, and I swiveled the chair around to glare at Lola. She bent forward, the comb she’d been using earlier still in her hand as she laughed again hysterically.

  "You pictured it, didn't you? You imagined his O-face!” she shouted. “Damn girl, you have it so bad for him.”

  I made a sound of annoyance. “I pay you to make me look pretty, not to be the bane of my existence.”

  "You pay me to spice up your life." She thumped me on the head with the comb, and I scowled at her in the mirror when she turned me back around.

  “What about you? You still seeing Gage’s O-face?" I smiled mischievously.

  “Yeah.” She shrugged as if she were talking about whether she wanted her groceries bagged in paper or plastic.

  “Yeah?" I mocked. "Gage is smoking hot, you’re apparently going at it like rabbits and you just say ‘yeah’?”

  "We're just hooking up. It's nothing." She turned her back and started rifling through her makeup.

  “You have feelings for him!” I jumped up and got right in her face. “Oh my God, you totally want to marry him!”

  “Everly Scarlett James! Don’t you ever talk about matrimony with me!”

  “First comes looooove, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage,” I belted out. “Gage and Lola McKenzie. Hmmm…that has a nice ring to it.”

  A throat cleared behind us, and I looked at Lola in time to see the color drain from her face—actually, from her entire body. Slowly, I turned to see Gage McKenzie standing there in the flesh.

  He held out the black leather Alexander McQueen makeup bag I had given Lola for Christmas. "You asked me to bring your bag you left at my place…” He gestured his thumb at the door behind him. “Beau let me in." Gage stood there uncomfortably, but he still had a little smirk teasing the corner of his lips. No point wondering if he had heard my childish schoolyard tease.

  “Excuse me,” Lola clipped out before she bolted from the room.

  My mouth hung open. My man-eating best friend just ducked her head and practically ran away because of a little joshing in front of Gage. Oh, her feelings went so much deeper than even she knew.

  I opened my mouth to say something to Gage, but he held up a finger and then took off down the hallway after Lola. Those two were an interesting spectacle. I couldn’t wait until I could get the full story. Until then, I supposed there was nothing to do but wait for my stubborn makeup artist to come back and finish my face.

  I looked around the beautiful suite. It was gorgeous, but I was ready to go back to my comfy home. The movers had come this morning to take all of our stuff to the apartments, and I could just squeal with excitement that I would be getting back to my own space.

  Although Noah and I hadn't discussed what would happen when I moved back, I had always presumed he was staying with me here out of convenience. But now that I was headed back to lower Manhattan, I wouldn’t be in a central location for him. I worried a lot of our relationship was based on accessibility. I didn’t know how to ask if he planned on moving back to his place.

  Our relationship had exhausted me lately, and I really hadn’t seen too much of him. A therapist would love to dissect that. I felt like we were constantly using one another. What could I do for him to stir up some drama for the tabloids and vice versa? Where could a relationship like that go?

  I tried to not dwell on Noah when I couldn’t even talk to him about those worries right now. Plus, thinking of moving back reminded me that Rose had informed me that Rhett would, in fact, be moving into Abe’s old apartment. I was sure it had a lot to do with him realizing how much easier it would be to work together when we were in the same building.

  I heard a door open down the hall and then the low murmur of Gage's voice. It almost sounded as if he were pleading with someone; I assumed Lola. A minute went by, and then a door slammed.

  I listened for Gage and Lola to come back down the hallway, but instead I heard the shuffling sound of bare feet on the hardwood. I swallowed harshly and felt my stomach do an annoying little flip when Rhett appeared, a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth.

  It wasn't just the sight of him that made my heart speed up. It was the whole package. A pair of loose navy blue sweatpants hung low on his hips… and nothing else. The vast expanse of his chest and flat stomach were on full display.

  That sexy V guys worked so hard for ran down into his pants, and I had to force my jaw to close. King once told me that he did hundreds of hanging leg raises and oblique twists to maintain his V. I remembered watching Rhett do a few reps with the twenty-pound medicine ball between his knees when we last worked out together. I never once imagined he was packing that underneath his sweaty shirt, though.

  This was an unpleasant surprise. How in the hell was I supposed to get that image out of my head?

  Rhett’s hair was in complete disarray. He looked like he had just woken up, although I knew he couldn’t have since we were just texting each other.

  I looked down at his bare feet and cringed. How can his stupid boy feet look so sexy? Every time I’d heard a girl talk about her man looking even hotter with bare feet, I laughed. No one had sexy feet.

  Except for stupid Rhett. Of course he had sexy feet.

  The light from the window shone on him as he stepped into the room
, and he squinted at the brightness. I heard him mumble, but I couldn't understand what he was saying with the toothbrush in his mouth. Which begged the question…

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  "I need to finish." He pointed his toothbrush at me. Without answering my question, he added, "I need your bathroom." Then he walked out of the living area and straight into my bedroom.

  I stared at him in shock. Had he really just walked into my bedroom without my permission? I shot up out of my chair and quickly followed, my feet stomping loudly behind him. He squirted my Marvis Jasmin mint toothpaste across his bristles and began scrubbing away like he owned the place.

  “You can’t just come in here and use my toothpaste!” He didn’t answer. He just kept scrubbing away. When he was done, he rinsed his mouth out using my cup. Then dropped his toothbrush into my holder!

  “Why not? We’re friends.”

  “No, we are not,” I quickly replied.

  He crossed his arms in front of his bare chest and smirked. "I'm letting you throw your little tantrum, but we are friends. Friends who can share bathrooms and fancy toothpaste, and maybe even—" he reached out and pulled my toothbrush from its charging station—"friends who share toothbrushes."

  “Don’t you dare.” I had never shared a toothbrush, not even with my boyfriends.

  He laughed and set it back down. "Relax." His hands were now on my shoulders, bringing his chest dangerously close to my face. "Glad you're finally talking to me, though." The sly smile on his face made his dimple show. The sight was so endearing I didn't want to shove him away.

  “I wasn’t not talking to you,” I lied.

  "Liar." His hands squeezed as he called me out on my shit. "You aren't wearing makeup." His breath touched my face, and the minty coolness made me instinctively lick my lips.

  “Lola ditched me. I have an appointment later that I need to be getting ready for.”

  Rhett rolled his eyes and stepped away. “Yeah, Gage kicked me out of my room and is probably balls deep right now.”

  A few of Noah’s friends had crashed in Lola’s room last night after drinking too much. That must have been why they had to shove Rhett out of his room. Wait…

  “Your room?”

  “Yeah, the room you told me to move into.”

  “You said you weren’t going to move into the hotel,” I reminded him.

  "I was tired of the silent treatment." He leaned back against the counter and his eyes roamed all over me.

  I suddenly remembered I was wearing a black satin robe, and though everything was covered, I felt as bare as the skin beneath the sinuous material. Instinctively, I rose up on my toes, wanting the height my heels usually gave me.

  “I liked the lyrics you sent me. Can I hear you sing a few of them? I want to get an idea of how you feel they should sound.”

  “Here? In the bathroom?” I asked.

  “Why not?” He shrugged.

  “You mean, besides the horrible acoustics?”

  “Chicken?” He smirked.

  I glared and took the bait. “Swirling black, glass on my back…" I belted out each word exactly how I felt it needed to be. Some words were strung out longer than others and some were a higher pitch, but I still allowed the natural rasp of my voice to make the lyrics sound sultry. I dreamt about this song, but I couldn't figure out what else it needed. That was where Rhett came in.

  He moved closer to me. There was a look in his eyes I couldn't decipher. It was intense, and I liked it. A lot.

  “That was amazing. You kind of had a Daya thing going on.”

  I bristled. "I'm not pop, and I don't do electropop either."

  He chuckled. "You stick to that amazing voice of yours, and I'll make sure we stay rock ‘n’ roll." His hands touched my hips, and I felt his fingers brush across the satin. Goosebumps appeared on my bare skin beneath the robe.

  As he felt along my hip, I was sure he realized there was no panty line. The muscles in his jaw clenched, but otherwise he didn't acknowledge his discovery. "I'm going to tap out a beat that I’ve been hearing in my head.” I felt his thumbs pat my hipbones. “I want you to sing the next two lines but follow my lead. Keep that sound, though. This is going to be good, I can feel it.”

  I nodded my head and felt the beat he was creating against my body with only his fingers. Somehow I could feel it rushing through my veins as well.

  “How did I get here? I don’t know where I’m at." I looked into his eyes as I sang each word, and, all at once, I felt… everything.

  In a split second, Rhett moved even closer to me and then the words weren’t the only thing I could feel. I didn't know if it was the moment, my words, our music or a culmination of all three, but I could feel every incredible inch of him against my stomach. I groaned audibly.

  That was all he needed to hear, apparently, because his mouth crashed against mine. I shoved my fingers through his messy locks, which were a lot softer and cleaner than I had imagined. When his tongue slid past my lips, I forgot about his silky hair and focused more on pressing my body as close to his as possible.

  Our mouths were hungry and persistent. We couldn't get enough. His hands cupped my butt and lifted me up on to the counter, and I parted my legs for him to move in between.

  “Ever,” he whispered as his lips trailed down my neck.

  I gasped and lifted my face to the ceiling. My hands fell behind me, and I swatted away whatever had the misfortune of being located on the marble countertop. When I hit Noah's electric razor, I froze.

  Rhett's amazing lips were still sending chills down my spine, but I pushed him back.

  “We can’t,” I managed to squeak out. “Noah.”

  He grimaced and looked down at the razor in my hand, and then he quickly stepped away from me as if I had been cut with that very razor. For what seemed to be the first time, Rhett looked around the large bathroom. Two toothbrushes on the counter that didn’t belong to him, cufflinks on a porcelain plate, shaving cream in a crystal glass, and a bottle of Clive Christian cologne pretty much proved that another man lived here.

  “You two are still together?” he whispered.

  I looked at him quizzically. “Yeah. You thought we weren’t?”

  He ran his hand down his face in obvious frustration. "Of course I did. Otherwise, I wouldn't have kissed you." His hard-on was still standing proudly under those damn sexy lounge pants, and I was trying with everything I had not to gawk. "The papers had pictures of Noah out with his co-star... they were holding hands… kissing. I saw the two of you on that stupid celebrity gossip show fighting out in front of the hotel. They said you caught him cheating…” The bewilderment on his face made me want to kiss him even more.

  God, his lips were fantastic. But he was still so naïve to this world. I had to shake my head, and for the first time, I actually wished those tabloid stories had been true. "It wasn't real. That whole jealousy scene out in front of the hotel… that's what they wanted me to do the other day. Stir up some controversy so Noah could build hype for his new movie coming out. If they were talking about it on those awful tabloid shows, then it accomplished exactly what it was supposed to."

  Rhett shook his head back and forth. “That’s the craziest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “It’s not the craziest thing I’ve ever done. Is that why you were kissing me? You thought I was single?” I didn’t mean that to come out as some kind of accusation, but apparently it did.

  “Oh, you mean was I trying to kiss the girl I’m attracted to? The girl I’ve wanted since the first time I saw her in a black wig and then heard her mind-blowing voice? The girl who gets me hard every time I hear her sing? The one who can complete my thoughts when we’re writing music… that girl? Is that so hard to imagine?”

  I stared at him in surprise. I had no words to say in return.

  “He was kissing her, Ever! Pictures don’t lie.” His voice was getting louder. “How
can you still be with him?”

  Now it was my turn to shake my head. “He said that was all from some scene they were filming.”

  “And you believed that?”

  “I don’t have any reason not to.”

  He groaned. “You can’t actually like that guy.”

  I hopped off the counter and stepped toward him. He frowned, so I stopped. "Let's not talk about him. Let's go write. We can go to the studio. I'll have Rose call and book us a time." He stood still, staring at me with his fists clenched. "I need your help…"

  I stepped close to him and began humming the tune of the song that had been on repeat in my head. I knew the lyrics to most of it, but it was all very patchy. Rhett’s tense body softened when I laid my head against his chest and continued to hum, letting him feel the vibrations of my voice. I felt him lean in toward me a little.

  “You said you had an appointment,” he whispered.

  "I just canceled it."

  He pulled back a fraction and looked down at me. All of his emotions were right there. He was an open book. It was something he would have to work on if he didn’t want to get eaten alive in this business. But selfishly, I hoped that never changed. It was refreshing not to have to determine someone's ulterior motives. Rhett wanted me, plain and simple.

  “One more time?” My voice croaked. I hoped he knew I wasn’t talking about my singing.

  “Why?” he asked, sounding pained by the request. “Because I won’t be able to stop this time.”

  “It wasn’t anything like how I thought it would be,” I surprised myself by admitting.

  “What was it like?”

  “Better. So much better,” I said, right before his lips crashed into mine for another delectable round.

  I moaned when I once again tasted the fresh mint of his mouth against my lips. My hands threaded into his wild hair, made even more so by my invasion. His large hands cupped my jaw and my neck simultaneously. I pulled him closer to me so I could feel his body against mine.

  “We need to stop,” he said, but his lips never left mine.

  "We will," I replied, yet we continued to move against one another. His fingers were tracing my jawline as if he were studying it; meanwhile, I was only interested in researching every inch of his mouth.