Desperately Seeking Househusband

by Ray, Marika

  “Then paddle over to me,” he called over his shoulder.

  Old-fashioned anger and stubbornness welled up and overran the lingering fear. “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Stupid redhead with his dickimus maximus luring me into doing things I never should have agreed to.” A litany of curses streamed forth as I dipped my paddle into the water and gave it the weakest paddle known to paddlers. “Hickory dickory dock. How did that Gabby girl die? Oh, she perished while paddling after the big D. Pretty pathetic really. Poor girl never even got a taste of the hickory dickory cock before the shark got her.”

  “Ahhh!” My board hit something and jerked me to a stop, sending the board rocking again. I let go of the paddle and bent down to grab the board to steady myself. I looked up to see feet. My gaze traveled north to see familiar board shorts, a bulge I daydreamed about, and then finally Rhett’s face peering down at me.

  “What were you talking about?”

  “Uh…” Shit! I had no idea what I’d been mumbling about. I just went to my happy place to get through the paddling portion.

  “Well, whatever it was, you did great, Gabby. Ready to try standing? Wait, where’s your paddle?”

  14

  Gabby

  I’d never been so happy to be in Rhett’s death trap of a vehicle. Terra firma was a blessed thing, indeed.

  “I’m super proud of you, Gabby.” Rhett reached over the console and squeezed my hand before letting go again.

  I may have overreacted a bit out there on the water, but I legitimately had been out of my mind scared. Rhett had been so patient with me, talking in that reassuring voice of his and turning the whole two hours into being about me. He could have had so much fun out there if he hadn’t stayed behind to get me comfortable on my board.

  A sense of pride filled my chest at having actually gotten to my feet. I even paddled a bit while standing, which was unthinkable before today. Rhett had looked at me with a new smile when I let out a whooping holler of triumph. I didn’t know what that smile meant, but I liked it aimed my way.

  “Can you believe we saw dolphins out there?” I was grinning just thinking about it.

  “Pretty magical, right?”

  “Is it crazy to say I want to do that again?” I looked over at Rhett, seeing the way that made him grin from ear to ear.

  “I’ll take you anytime you want.”

  My phone rang and I reached down to the floorboard to grab it. I’d completely forgotten to check in with work, that’s how much fun I’d had that morning.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Gabby, this is Ron from the studio. We need to get a technician to your house this afternoon to install that bedroom cam we talked about the other day. Can he swing by now?”

  All that warmth and happiness got dashed with a bucket of oh shit. “Bedroom cam? What are you talking about?”

  “Huh. Did we not tell you about that? Well, we need a camera installed so we have twenty-four-hour footage. Don’t worry, we won’t have a camera in the bathroom and we’ll black out anything not fit for television. So, can he come by in about half an hour?”

  My brain went fuzzy over the news. “Um, yeah, sure. That’s fine.”

  I hung up and dropped my head against the headrest. This wasn’t good at all.

  * * *

  “Oh my God, I’m all sweaty,” I mumbled in a panic. I didn’t want the camera mounted in the corner of my bedroom, currently blinking at me, to pick up my words, telling the whole world that this was all a sham. For the viewing audience, I should be lunging at Rhett and having my way with him. Instead, I’d spent nearly half an hour in the bathroom putting my pajamas on and having a panic attack.

  “Hey,” Rhett came up and pulled me into his bare chest. His skin was warm to the touch, the muscles moving and shifting as he rubbed my back. “We’re just acting, putting on a good show right now. We’ll burrow under the covers and they won’t see a damn thing. Okay?”

  I nodded as much as I could with Rhett’s chin resting on the top of my head. “Okay,” I whispered, already feeling much calmer. The frantic energy that had buzzed through my body since I got the phone call about the camera had morphed into a pleasant hum I kind of liked. One face plant with a naked man chest and I was ready to be a hussy for the camera. I imagined this was how the slide into a prostitution career happened. If all pimps were as persuasive as Rhett, I could see the appeal.

  Disengaging and walking over to the bed on shaky legs, I purposely looked away from the camera and instead assessed why my legs felt like limp noodles. Was I scared of acting in front of a single camera on the wall after acting all week in front of multiple cameras? Or was I terrified of being up close and personal with Rhett in my bedroom, where all too quickly acting could turn into something real? Because in all actuality, I didn’t think I could be held accountable for what happened when I was pressed against a wall of muscley yumminess or for wanting to take a ride on the disco stick when presented with the opportunity. I was a warm-blooded female, after all. Sure, I hadn’t been sexually active in a while, but the urge was definitely there. Perhaps even amplified—by a million—after my year of celibacy.

  Rhett’s heat hit my back and I realized I had hesitated too long before climbing under the covers. I scrambled to get in and Rhett followed me, his long limbs tangling with mine, even as he situated the bedspread over us, the edge coming up as high as my chin.

  “Just follow my lead,” he whispered into my ear, his hot breath fanning across my cheek as he spooned me from behind.

  His hand landed on my hip and traveled north, a wake of shivers following his movements. Lips hit my skin, that spot in the crook of my neck, and I squealed, unable to withstand the tickling.

  Rhett chuckled, the impact amplified by the vibration of his chest pressed against my back. He was close. So close I could feel the hair on his legs brush against mine and detect his smell. After intense scrutiny this week, I’d determined that his smell was half soap and half just Rhett. Like his skin pumped out a cologne only I could smell, one uniquely designed to stir the butterflies in my stomach and make me yearn. For what, I had no idea.

  Okay, fine. I had an idea. An idea I couldn’t be thinking of just then or else I’d peel off my little shorts and change the moisture level of the dry humping we’d planned on.

  Rhett palmed my breast through my tank top and I nearly reared back and head butted him in my surprise. I’d been too busy sniffing him to realize his hand had traveled quite a bit farther than I anticipated.

  “This okay?” he murmured in my ear. His next inhale sounded a bit like a groan, but then his hips pressed into my backside and I lost all train of thought. The dragon was stirring, of that I was sure.

  The Italian sass I was known for came out in the form of ass sass. My backside insisted on making further contact with the beast and she could not be denied. I pressed back, seeking him out, reveling in feeling him grow against me.

  Another groan hit my ear and I nearly purred at the sound. His hand at my breast pinched my nipple gently, the pressure sending a shot of pleasure straight through my core. A strangled sound came out of my mouth to mingle with Rhett’s groan. Harsh breathing filled the air as we both thrust against each other. It could have been mine, or it could have been Rhett’s, but based on the heat level rising under the heavy comforter, I would guess it came from us both.

  Rhett’s hand kneaded my breast, our hips thrusting in unison for several long, delicious minutes. I needed more than my cold pillow to touch, so I reached back and found his head, letting my fingers get lost in his hair. Wet kisses dotted a line down my neck and my shoulder, adding to the desire building in my stomach. He was a dirty dry humper with sweet kisses and murmurs of encouragement. I could only imagine what actual sex would be like with Rhett.

  His hand left my breast abruptly, the loss of his heat making me whimper. I tightened my grip in his hair in a show of displeasure. Instead of complying, his fingers skimmed down my torso and over my
hip before he lifted my leg and hooked it over his thighs, leaving me open yet still covered by my thin cotton shorts. A slide over my hipbone and his fingers were under the waistband of my shorts. Another hip thrust to meet his hard length and his fingers slid down farther, parting me and finding how wet this fake make out session had gotten me.

  If my desire had been percolating at a six on a scale of ten for the last few minutes, it was now at a twenty. I should have been shocked Rhett was touching me so intimately, but all the showers in the world with my vibrator wouldn’t have taken the edge off a moment like that. All I cared about in the moment was succumbing to the pleasure and letting Rhett get me off. Preferably with the eight inches of fury sliding along my crack.

  What did shock me, was his fingers diving into me the same moment he thrust into my backside, his thumb grazing the bundle of nerves that would send me flying over the edge at any second. One more like that and I trembled and gasped. Yet another and I was flying, my whole body entering a galaxy of pleasure I’d never been to before. I soared through the sky, my vision exploding with stars, my body shaking with the release of energy into the cosmos.

  The ride ended with soft kisses along my shoulder and spine. Rhett slowly removed his fingers and I didn’t know if I should try to selfishly hold him there forever or push him away in embarrassment. It could go both ways, but he saved me from deciding by removing his hand from my shorts and whispering in my ear.

  “Good night, Snookums.”

  He rolled away onto his other side, though I could imagine he didn’t sleep for a while, nor did I for entirely different reasons. I obsessed over every detail of the last ten minutes, wondering how I’d let that happen while also wondering how I could get him to do that every night. I’m sure he didn’t sleep due to a case of overinflation of a certain body part.

  So, we both lay there awake, the distance between us growing with each passing minute. By the time the sheets had cooled off, I let my eyes close and sleep finally took me.

  15

  Rhett

  The sun filtered through the window while I enjoyed another morning waking up to Gabby tangled up in my arms and the largest erection known to mankind. It was becoming a permanent state of affairs these days. I wondered if a serious case of blue balls could become a medically ill-advised calcification with permanent repercussions.

  Last night was amazing.

  And I was now the biggest pussy in my age group for declaring a night where I hadn’t even gotten inside a woman the best night of my life.

  But it was.

  She’d been so nervous about climbing in that bed and all I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and tell her it would all be okay. But then my hand had landed on her silky skin and even though I knew it was a cop-out, I couldn’t seem to control where it went after that. The next thing I knew I was cupping a breast that fit perfectly in my hand and Gabby was moving, grinding into me and dissolving any sort of restraint I had.

  Bejesus, the sounds that woman made when she came. It was enough to have me exploding in my shorts like a prepubescent boy. I’d had to turn over before she figured out what happened and I thoroughly embarrassed myself. Now my boxers were uncomfortably stiff, but dry, thank God.

  The thought that I had the best night of my life with a woman who was my half-brother’s ex hit my awareness like a sledgehammer, keeping me awake far longer than I would have liked. The best I could come up with was that since Hewitt didn’t acknowledge me as a brother, maybe there was nothing to be guilty about.

  “Tesoro?” she whispered against my chest. She was awake.

  The sound of the nickname on her lips was everything.

  “Yes, Snookums?”

  “Did that happen last night or was I dreaming?”

  I stifled a laugh. Of course this woman would straight out ask me about it. One minute super shy, the next bold as fuck.

  “Definitely happened,” I answered as quietly as I could. The less the camera picked up of our conversation, the better.

  She dug her face into my side like she intended to burrow in until there was nothing left of her.

  “M’soy,” she garbled against my skin.

  I lifted my head to hear her better. “What was that?”

  “I’m sorry,” she said a little louder.

  Oh, hell no. My stomach instantly twisted into a knot. That wasn’t going to work for me. I turned, lifting her up and rolling on top of her to settle between her legs. She looked up at me, her sleepy eyes wide.

  I cupped her face between my hands. “No. Apology not accepted. There is nothing about last night to be sorry about. If anyone should apologize it’s me for taking it too far.” She blinked and tried to shake her head, but my hands wouldn’t let her. “But I’m not sorry either because I enjoyed giving you pleasure last night. In case you haven’t noticed, Gabriella, I think you’re hot.” Her face, the parts of it not covered by my hands, flushed bright red. “So unless you have objections, we’re gonna do that again tonight and give the cameras some spicy stuff to air on television.”

  She whimpered and I had to know if it was from distress or because she felt that pull between us too.

  “Say something,” I begged.

  “I, um, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” she said on a whisper.

  “Is that your brain talking or your heart?” Because I’d noticed a pattern with Gabby. She seemed contradictory sometimes and I was thinking it had less to do with her being wishy-washy and more to do with what part of her she was listening to at any given time. She had the brain of a mature old lady figuring out the cost-benefit analyses of each decision throughout the day. But she also had the heart of a gypsy wanting to fling off her clothes and dance in the moonlight. I’d memorized the way her eyes danced yesterday when she’d stood up on that board, and the way her smile became her whole face when she spotted the pod of dolphins. My girl had a beautiful heart, she just didn’t listen to it very often.

  If my armchair psychoanalysis was correct, she’d listened to her brain the entire time she’d been with my half-brother. Her heart had probably atrophied over the years until she didn’t even hear it anymore. My new purpose in life had just become getting Gabby to get her heart back in the game.

  She wrinkled her nose. “Um, both?”

  I grinned at her, finding her confusion adorable. I kissed her upturned nose and lifted up onto my hands, looking down at her beautiful face.

  “Whatever we’ve been faking, we’re going to explore making real. So buckle up, buttercup. We’re going to be exploring that heart of yours a lot more the next few months.”

  Her expression softened when I kissed her, though her eyes stayed cloudy. “I don’t even know what all that means, Rhett.”

  I shook my head slowly. “You don’t have to yet. I’ll teach you. I’m going to spring so much spontaneity on you you’re going to come to expect it.”

  She frowned. “You know that’s like the opposite of spontaneity, right?”

  “Yep.” I popped that P and kept right on going. I was onto something, I could feel it. “We’re gonna take routine and wring its little neck to squeeze out all the spontaneity you can handle. We’re going to spice things up so hot your eyes will water. I’m going to be right by your side, the two of us living life to the fullest and seeing what happens.” I lowered down to her and kissed her right on her surprised lips and hopped out of bed. “Chop, chop, woman. We got work to do and then I have a surprise for you tonight.”

  Her gaze didn’t meet mine. As I stood there, I realized her gaze was on my crotch, where Mr. Happy was all too giddy trying to say good morning to her.

  “Hey, eyes up!”

  Her startled gaze flew to mine and her cheeks heated again. Damn, she drove me crazy in the best way. My veins felt like they were on fire when she looked at me like that. I took a step closer and tunneled my fingers into her hair to palm the back of her head. I dropped my voice as low as it could go.

  “Oh, you’re a greedy
girl, huh? You got a little something last night and you already want more?” She bit her lip and I tightened my hold on her hair. I wanted to jump right back into bed and show her exactly what I could do with her while I was in a spontaneous mood, but there was no way in hell our first time would be with a fucking camera recording her every sound. Those noises would be for my ears only.

  Instead, I made my fingers relax. “Soon, sweetheart.” I kissed her forehead and released her, forcing myself to walk away to get my shower going. As much as I wanted her, now was not the time. I had plans to make for Gabby first.

  Also, Jasper had texted me yesterday that a buddy of his was on the market for a new custom board. I’d be meeting with him today and I wanted to show him samples of everything I could do. While I was busy showing Gabby how much fun we could have together, I’d be building my empire. She deserved a guy who could give her everything and I’d be the guy to do it. The icing on the cake would be knowing Hewitt, the asshole who thought he was so much better than me, couldn’t do it.

  * * *

  “Rhett?”

  The garage door slammed and Gabby’s heels clacked on the wood floor downstairs. She’d gotten dressed up to go into the newspaper office building today while I met with my new client. Two custom surfboards, his and hers, were commissioned and already being designed by yours truly. It had been a good day.

  I listened carefully to track her movements. As I’d planned, she stopped walking when she hit the kitchen counter and saw the envelope I’d left for her there. That snort-guffaw I’d come to love so much filled the silence. My skin buzzed with excitement. I loved scavenger hunts and I hoped Gabby would come to love them too.

  The sliding glass door creaked across the metal track alerting to her whereabouts. She must have figured out my first clue.

  Roses are red, violets are blue, your relaxing view is sweet, and so are you.