A Fine Bromance

by Roland Graeme

  He opened the top drawer of the nightstand and there was Exhibit C, which just about clinched it!

  Exhibit C consisted of several items. A box of condoms, a tube of lubricant—not the cheap water-based kind that you purchased in any drugstore, but a high-end silicone gel. A pair of what looked to Tomasz like standard-issue police handcuffs, made from heavy steel, with the key lying in the drawer next to them. The drawer also contained an unopened bottle of liquid poppers, its plastic seal still intact and finally, an ashtray, with some ash residue in it, along with the stub of a hand-rolled cigarette.

  Tomasz picked up the ashtray, raised it to his nose and sniffed the cigarette stub. It smelled faintly, but distinctly and unmistakably, of marijuana.

  Fuck! His brother had been smoking pot. This same guy who’d threatened to beat the shit out of Tomasz and make his life a living hell, if he ever caught Tomasz taking drugs. The fucking hypocrite!

  What else was Krzysztof doing behind his back?

  What the hell were those handcuffs doing in the drawer? Could they possibly belong to Nardo?

  Tomasz had a sudden, shocking mental image of Krzysztof and Nardo, right here in this bedroom, behind the closed door…both men on the bed, naked…sharing a joint, snorting poppers…one of them putting those goddamn handcuffs on the other man’s wrists…then doing, what, exactly? Making good use of the rubbers and the lube, apparently.

  “I can’t believe it,” he gasped. “I cannot—fucking—believe this!” Yet there the evidence was, right in front of his eyes.

  He’d gone this far. He might as well go all the way. Tomasz went over to Krzysztof’s desk, opened the lid of his laptop computer and turned it on. He opened one of the desk drawers. He got lucky—right there, on top of some other papers and envelopes, was a sheet of paper with a list in Krzysztof’s handwriting. It was obviously his various computer login names and passwords, because Krzysztof had labeled each pair with the name of the website it allowed access to, and he had crossed out the ones that had been replaced with newer ones.

  With this cheat sheet in front of him, Tomasz had no difficulty logging on to his brother’s internet account. He opened Krzysztof’s emails. Among them was a message from the previous evening, which Krzysztof had read and saved. Tomasz clicked on it and began to read it himself.

  Hey Krzysztof buddy have been thinking of you all day long. Can’t wait to suck your thick Polack dick and take it up my horny Dago ass. When can we get together again? Hope it’s soon. I may blow my wad just thinking about it if you make me wait too long. I know you have to be careful around that cute little stud brother of yours. Tomorrow’s Saturday so maybe we can meet at the gym, work out together and get all hot and sweaty and turned on, then go to my place for some hot dirty nasty sex before you have to get back home. I know you want some of my thick hard Italian cop dick, but buddy I am just as eager to get another helping of that huge spicy Polish sausage of yours. Talk about a smoking hot piece of meat! I want you to pound my hole with that big thing until I scream for mercy only I don’t want you to show me any mercy, you fucker. I want you to fuck me so hard it hurts, then go right on fucking me until I yell even louder and beg you to tear my hole wide open and ravage my ass.

  There was more, a lot more. The sender went on rhapsodizing about the joys of oral and anal intercourse for whole paragraphs on end. Tomasz didn’t have to read the rest of this sample of lewd stream-of-consciousness prose. He knew the email could only be from Nardo—unless there happened to be some other Italian-American cop on the force with whom Krzysztof was tricking, which would surely be too much of a coincidence.

  “Guilty, you horny motherfuckers,” Tomasz declared. “You’re both guilty as hell! I hereby sentence you to—well, I don’t know what I sentence you to. To go fuck yourselves, I guess. No—to keep on sucking each other’s cocks and fucking each other up the ass, is more like it. Jesus! What a pair of oversexed fucking freaks!”

  Careful to shut down the computer and to make sure he left everything in the room the way he’d found it, he retreated.

  Chapter Four

  Things Going Bump in the Night

  Tomasz now had plenty to think about and to try to begin to assimilate. The revelation that his brother had a secret life stunned him. He was angry with Krzysztof.

  Here I’ve been all this time, sneaking around, worried about Krzysztof finding out about me and Billy, while that big stud brother of mine has been getting laid, and for all I know, right here in the house.

  He was still stewing when his cell phone rang. It was Krzysztof.

  “Hey, bro,” the elder Juroszek sibling said.

  “You sound a little out of breath, Krzysztof,” Tomasz commented, maliciously.

  “Oh, do I? Well—I’m calling from the gym. I just got off the treadmill.”

  You liar! Treadmill, my ass! Krzysztof was no doubt calling from Nardo’s place. They were probably getting ready to fuck or they had just finished fucking, maybe they were taking a break in mid-fuck!

  “Anyway,” Krzysztof continued, “I called to let you know that Nardo’s accepted our dinner invitation. We’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

  “A couple of hours? Why so long?”

  “Well, we have to finish our workout, shower and get dressed. Also I want to make a couple of stops on my way home.”

  “I see. Why don’t I get dinner started, while I’m waiting for you guys to show up?”

  “Oh, would you mind, bro?”

  “Not a bit. We haven’t had company here for quite a while. Except for uncle Aleksander, of course, but he’s family, so that doesn’t really count. I think I ought to go all out, make something nice. What does your buddy Nardo like to eat?”

  “He’s Italian. They’re like goats. They’ll eat anything.”

  Tomasz heard Nardo’s voice in the background, saying, “That’s a goddamn lie,” and punctuating it with a hearty laugh. Obviously, Nardo was right there beside Krzysztof, listening to the conversation.

  “Leave it to me,” Tomasz suggested. “I’ll whip up something decent. A surprise.”

  “This is awfully nice of you, baby bro. Very considerate. Don’t go to too much trouble. It’s just going to be us three guys.”

  “Think nothing of it,” Tomasz said, airily. “It’s no trouble at all. I’ll see you—both of you—in a couple of hours, then.” He added, to himself, Assuming you and your big stud cop buddy can tear yourselves away from each other long enough to put your clothes back on!

  He was tempted to drop a bombshell into the dinner conversation.

  So tell me, Nardo. How long have you been having sex with my brother? And how’d it get started? Did you pull him over and write him a traffic ticket, and did Krzysztof offer to give you a blow job if you’d tear up the ticket?

  While he worked in the kitchen, Tomasz indulged in some clock watching. It was in fact two hours and twenty minutes before Krzysztof came home, with Nardo in tow.

  Both men had that relaxed look about them that was a typical aftereffect of hard physical labor. Whether it was hitting the weights at the gym or hitting the sheets at Nardo’s place that was responsible, was an interesting question. Tomasz suspected the smart money would bet on the latter.

  It was the first time he’d seen the police officer in civilian clothes—khaki shorts, which bared a pair of bulging calf muscles, and an orange polo shirt, which threatened to split its seams if its wearer gesticulated too energetically with his equally well-developed arms. Tomasz had to admit, perhaps more than a little grudgingly, that he was a handsome man. Krzysztof could be doing worse when it came to a choice of a male sex partner—a lot worse.

  “We stopped at the liquor store,” Krzysztof explained, “and picked up a case of this imported red wine that looked really good.”

  “A whole case?” Tomasz asked, eyeing the wooden crate, which Nardo was carrying, without apparent difficulty, in those massive arms. “Are you guys planning on ge
tting drunk?”

  “Hey, it’s Saturday night, so why not?” his brother retorted. “But it’s cheaper to buy it in bulk.”

  “Well, let’s open a bottle and sample it right away, then. It ought to go well with dinner. We’re eating Italian, in Nardo’s honor. And I’ve got the big wine glasses already set out.”

  “Look at this, Nardo!” Krzysztof exclaimed, as he and his friend followed Tomasz into the kitchen. “The table looks really nice. You did go to a lot of trouble. And something smells fantastic.”

  “It’s not going to be anything special,” Tomasz warned, with false modesty. “An antipasto, to start off with, then breaded veal cutlets, with a pretty decent side dish, if I do say so myself—macaroni with roasted eggplant and tomato sauce. There’s gelato in the freezer, for dessert.”

  “Man, it does smell good,” Nardo said. He set the wine down. “You seem to really know your way around a kitchen.”

  Tomasz laughed. “Listen, when you grow up in a house with no women, you learn how to cook sooner or later, as a survival skill.”

  Tomasz was confused by the way his emotions kept shifting from one moment to another. I’m being nice to Nardo. Why?

  Dinner turned out to be a distinct success. Krzysztof and Nardo gorged themselves and Tomasz discovered that there was nothing wrong with his own appetite, either. The wine flowed freely.

  Nardo seemed a bit tongue-tied at first, allowing the two brothers to carry the conversational ball, but once he had a little wine to lubricate him, he became more outgoing and animated. A few hours previously, Tomasz had been all set to dislike the guy. Now he found himself liking him and enjoying his company.

  They had coffee and dessert in the living room.

  “You’re going to have to let me help you clean up,” Nardo said. “Help you with the dishes.”

  “No way.” Tomasz was firm. “You’re our guest. We wait on you. You don’t lift a finger.”

  Nardo looked at each brother in turn. He smiled. “I remember you telling me, Krzysztof, how your uncle raised you two, practically single-handed.”

  Krzysztof nodded. “You bet. It couldn’t have been easy for him. He made a lot of sacrifices for us.”

  “But I’d be willing to bet Tomasz’s always looked up to you, too, and tried to model himself on you.”

  Tomasz spoke up. “Absolutely.”

  “You’ve done a good job, Krzysztof. Tomasz’s a fine young man.”

  Tomasz felt himself starting to blush. He felt flustered by the compliment, but it also pleased him. “Aw, come on, Nardo. I’m not some girl you have to sweet talk, to try to get into her pants. Which reminds me, you’re not married, are you, Nardo?”

  “No.”

  “You must have a girlfriend, though.”

  “Not at the moment.”

  Tomasz was amused to see that he’d succeeded in making the big tough cop a bit uncomfortable. Krzysztof, for his part, was keeping his eyes fixed on his coffee cup, and his facial expression was inscrutable.

  “I’m in between romances at the moment,” Nardo said. “Just playing the field.”

  Tomasz stole a sidelong glance at Krzysztof. Was it his imagination, or had his big brother pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, just for an instant, in response to his cop buddy’s dismissive claim?

  “It must be tough, being a cop,” Tomasz remarked. “It must be an awfully stressful job.”

  “It is, at times,” Nardo agreed.

  “And that can’t make it easy to get into a relationship and stay in one. Some people probably can’t handle it.”

  “Some people can’t.” Nardo looked as though he was ready to change the subject.

  “But a good-looking dude like you, who’s built like a brick shithouse,” Tomasz dared to suggest, “must have a pretty steady sex life. Oh, I’m not talking about serious relationships. Just casual, recreational sex.”

  Nardo clearly didn’t know what to say and Tomasz took a sadistic relish in his discomfort.

  Krzysztof, however, wasn’t shy about speaking up. “Really, Tomasz! It isn’t polite to ask people about such things. You know better than that. I think you owe Nardo an apology.”

  “Oh, that’s not necessary,” Nardo said, quickly. “No offense taken.”

  “I’m sorry.” Tomasz did his best to come across as suitably contrite. “I was just curious. I didn’t mean any harm by it. Hell, it’s just us guys sitting here talking, aren’t we? I thought we could discuss adult stuff. You know—guy stuff.”

  “We can, within reason. Within certain limits.” Krzysztof was subjecting his brother to one of those looks, as Tomasz always thought of them—the kind that always had Tomasz half-convinced that his brother could read his mind. “And since you’re the one who brought up the subject…what do you know about casual, recreational sex, as you put it?”

  “Nothing. Just what they taught us in school, in sex ed. And what I hear other guys talking about.”

  Krzysztof didn’t seem to be convinced. “I’ll bet!” he scoffed. “I’ll just bet!”

  Nardo ventured a joke. “I don’t think you should subject Tomasz to any more questioning until one of us reads him his rights.”

  “The little fucker has no rights. Not when it comes to keeping any secrets from me.” But Krzysztof softened the apparent harshness of his words by getting out of his seat, going over to Tomasz and giving him a playful slap on his cheek, which he followed by ruffling his hair. “Asshole,” Krzysztof addressed his brother, affectionately, as he resumed his seat.

  Tomasz knew when he’d pushed the envelope enough. He was careful to steer the conversation back to neutral topics.

  About half an hour later, Nardo told the brothers that he ought to be thinking about going. He thanked them for dinner. “And for a great evening, on the whole,” he added.

  “Yeah, we’re going to have to do this again, soon,” Krzysztof agreed.

  Tomasz didn’t wait to be prompted to chime in. “Yes, it was nice to have a chance to sit down and talk to you, Nardo. To get to know you a little better.”

  The cop smiled at him. “Same here. This was fun. Thanks again, guys.”

  Tomasz decided to take an additional, calculated verbal risk. “It’s Saturday night,” he pointed out. “It’s bad enough that Krzysztof and I tend to be such boring, stay-at-home types. But there’s no reason for you to be, Nardo. What do you usually do on a Saturday night?”

  The big man shrugged. “It depends. On how tired I am…on what kind of a mood I’m in.”

  “Well, I admit it. I’m tired,” Tomasz lied. “I’m going to go right up to my room and hit the sack. Don’t worry—I’ll put my headphones on, so my stereo won’t bother you. So…if you guys want to hang out here a little longer, go right ahead. I won’t bother you. You might even decide to go out on the town, later on. If you do, don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself. Forget about me. I’ll be dead to the world, and I plan to sleep in tomorrow.”

  He left Krzysztof and Nardo in the living room, went upstairs, opened and closed his bedroom door, making sure to do it just a bit more loudly than was strictly necessary, so the two men downstairs could hear the sound, then he quite shamelessly returned to the top landing of the stairs, listening. He wasn’t disappointed. Taking for granted they couldn’t be overheard, the two men downstairs spoke to each other candidly.

  “Come on over to my place,” Nardo urged Krzysztof, in a whisper.

  “How’s that going to look?” Krzysztof retorted, also being careful to keep his voice down. “I can’t spend the night—”

  “Why not?”

  “Because Tomasz’s likely to notice I’m gone and if he happens to catch me coming home in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn—”

  “So what if he does? He’ll probably never know you were gone, and if he does, all you have to say is that you and I went out drinking and you had one too many, so I took you home with me and let you sl
eep on my couch.”

  “I don’t like the idea of leaving him here alone all night.”

  “Huh? He’s not a child, Krzysztof. He’s practically a grown man. He hardly needs a babysitter.”

  “Maybe. I still feel responsible for him.”

  “That’s sweet. I’m not being sarcastic, it really is, but how about being a little responsible toward me, for a change? Damn it, Krzysztof, I want to have sex with you. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m still horny after that little workout we had. All I could think about, the whole time we were sitting here, was how much I’d like an instant replay of some of that action.”

  “I know exactly what you mean. I’ve got a bad case of blue balls, myself. I’d love to sleep with you…you fucker! I don’t know…Tomasz’s a good kid, a smart kid. Maybe I underestimate him. Maybe he’s mature enough to accept the fact that his brother has a functioning prick.”

  Nardo snickered under his breath. “I bet his prick works just fine, too!”

  “What’s that crack supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. Your baby brother is hot, that’s all. He takes after you. Haven’t you noticed?”

  “Don’t be disgusting.”

  “I’m only stating a fact. Didn’t you notice how he could barely stop himself from talking about sex? Maybe he had something he wanted to talk to us older guys about. The kid is damned sexy. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of his buddies has already put the make on him. Or some horny older guy—”

  “Yeah, well, speaking of horny older guys—you keep your hands off him,” Krzysztof insisted. “What’s the matter? I’m not enough for you?”

  “Oh, you’ll do, in a pinch,” Nardo replied, mock-dismissively.

  “Thanks, Dago.”

  “You’re welcome, Polack.”

  “Yeah, I suppose I’ll do, in a pinch…while you’re in between romances and just playing the field. You smug son of a bitch. Imagine how I felt, hearing you say that.”

  “Aw, come on! I had to say that, so your baby bro wouldn’t start getting suspicious. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”