Secrets of Spain Trilogy

by Caroline Angus Baker

  14

  Cuenca, España ~ Septiembre de 2009

  Cayetano straightened his shirt and waited at the door to Luna’s hotel room. He hoped that she hadn’t driven back to Valencia. The tiniest strip of light shone from under the door, which raised his hopes. The door opened very slowly, she must have seen him through the peephole. A very cautious face appeared.

  He held up the red rose he had in his hands. “A truce?” he offered.

  Luna swung the door open, and folded her arms over her chest. She was in nothing more than a full-length pale blue silk dressing gown, which was done up very tight at the waist. Her black hair was piled high in a messy bun, and her ice-blue eyes looked brighter than ever. “Did you steal that from the garden in the courtyard?”

  “Sí, I did. But I asked if I could first.” He watched a smile creep over her face and he held it out, and she took it from him. It was as if no one had ever given her flowers. Maybe they hadn’t, but it would be hard to believe.

  “I’m sorry that I freaked out at you earlier,” Luna said.

  “I pulled the tiger’s tail. You did warn me that I would get bitten.”

  “Still, it doesn’t give me the right to tell you how to deal with the things that you have going on in your life.”

  “The truth is… I don’t know how to talk to you. You have been through something I can’t understand. If I get it wrong, then I’m sorry. It’s only because I’m lost. Even the simplest things seem new again with you.”

  “Come in,” she said, and opened the door for him. “But you need to be quiet; the boys are asleep.”

  “Already?” Cayetano asked as Luna closed the door behind him. “It’s only nine.”

  “Long day when you’re little.” He watched her cross the room, her little feet slid over the dark tiles to the bedroom door which was ajar. She peeked in, and then closed it gently. “They liked you,” she said, and the pair sat down on the couch together. “They asked if they get to see the bullfighting man again.”

  “And do they?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Why?”

  “Do you know the expression ‘no smoke without fire?’ You hit a nerve today. In fact, you do it every time I see you. I never anticipated ever being interested in anyone after my husband was killed. Then you blow in and change everything for me, but that isn’t your fault, it happens because I like you. I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “Then do nothing. I’m not asking anything of you.”

  “It’s not that simple, Cayetano. It’s opened up so many things.”

  “Like?”

  “I was raised by my father after my mother died. My father was wonderful, but I wanted more for my kids than I had. Two parents, a family, like everyone else takes for granted. Their father was killed, and it made me so angry that this could happen to them. I don’t want to be a mother who brings men in and out of her kids’ lives. That isn’t who I am. I need to be careful with everything I do. My life and decisions don’t belong to me. I’m bound by the boys and their needs, and I don’t resent that at all. To choose what is good for them is the natural choice for me.”

  “That leaves us stranded, doesn’t it? Because Darren is the safe choice for them.”

  “I could be happy with Darren, if I try hard enough.”

  “Love can’t be forced, Luna. The harder you try, the further it slips away.”

  “I have no room for fanciful romance. I can’t be flighty and wait for love to come along. I can’t be pulled by it. I have two kids that require me to make considered choices.”

  “How would you feel if they looked back in 20 years and realised that their mother was unhappy for their benefit?”

  “I hope they would be grateful. I would also hope that they didn’t understand it. I don’t want anyone to understand how I feel. I live in an awful place filled with guilt and confusion.”

  “I can’t help you,” Cayetano said. “But I do know that being stuck with someone you don’t love can destroy you.”

  “When I met Fabrizio, I loved him so much, from the moment I laid eyes on him. It’s so ridiculous but so true. It was mad and passionate. We would have sex until the mattress slipped off the bed.” She paused for a moment. “Oh God, I said that out loud.”

  Cayetano chuckled. “I don’t mind.”

  Luna couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. “I thought that he was the only one who could do that to me, love me like that I mean. Madly, passionately and completely. Darren, I love him, and he is important to me, but that feeling doesn’t exist with him. But life isn’t about passion. It wears off.”

  “Did it wear off in your marriage?”

  “Yeah, it did after a while, as it does. The pressures of work and kids... but then I met you, and that feeling was back. That crazy, lustful feeling of having a connection with someone. I loved it and also hated it, because it meant the connection to Fabrizio wasn’t as special and unique as I thought.”

  “Love is a cruel thing, Luna. Trust me, I know. You can’t change the past. What you had once isn’t lessened by what you do now. You can’t go through life without love.”

  “I don’t want just some excitement and lust, a relationship is so much more than that. Besides, excitement wears off.”

  “Not always. My parents have been together for 40 years, and they’re like lustful teenagers even now. It’s hard to watch to be honest.”

  “That’s great, but it’s the exception, not the rule. So if I start a relationship with Darren without that passion, then I already know what I am headed for. No disappointments.”

  “You could start a life with me and have that passion, and it could last forever.”

  Luna looked up at Cayetano across from her. “Don’t ask anything of me. I have nothing to offer.”

  “I want a shot with you.”

  “Why? I’m an unemployed mother-of-two with multiple issues.”

  Cayetano couldn’t help it, he had to laugh, and she did the same. At least it broke the ice. “I like you. You are enchanting, and interesting, and deep, and thoughtful. You are beautiful and hot-blooded as hell. I’m not some young idiot who wants to waste his time on himself. Plus I like kids. I’ve wanted them for years.”

  “I have always been under the impression that no guy wants to play Papá to another man’s kids.”

  “Families are not always the best just because they are traditional. Life is no fairytale.”

  “No, it certainly isn’t.” She looked out the full-length windows that faced back toward the old town. In the dark, the houses along the edges of the cliff illuminated the gorge. “This place is a fairytale.”

  “Once upon a time, our families lived here. Who knows what went on? We still have to find out where your grandfather came from.”

  “It would have been a hard life here 70 years ago, with or without the war. I bet they faced deaths of loved ones, and other complications to everyday life, on a scale more serious than you or I.”

  “Doesn’t make our troubles any smaller,” Cayetano said and slid forward in his seat. His leg was killing him, and couldn’t deny it anymore. All afternoon on those fucking steps had finally hit him. He shut his eyes for a moment and ran his hand over his muscles, and the fabric of his jeans rubbed the tense limb. Bloody accident. He opened his eyes, and Luna had gone, and he looked around. “Luna?”

  She came back out of the other bedroom door and was held a small white bottle. His leg was forgotten. When she walked without holding her dressing gown, he could see every inch of her beautiful long legs, they just kept going up and up…

  “Capsicum cream, remember?” she said. “I’ll rub it on your leg.”

  “Is that wise?” he asked. Her hands on him right after she had basically told him to back off?

  “I’m not doing it to be wise, I’m doing it to be helpful. You could have rested it all day at home today, but instead you helped me out. Take your pants off.”

  Cayetano stood up and undid his je
ans. The moment the pants fell to the floor her eyes lit up. She hadn’t seen the wound before. “Wow,” she said and knelt down in front of him.

  “They all say that,” he teased.

  “Sit down on the edge of the couch, smart-ass.” She waited for him to get comfortable, and then ran her fingers very carefully over the scar on his skin. It had done its best to heal, still purple and dotted by the marks that the stitches had left behind on the flesh. “Is it just the wound that hurts or is it the whole thigh?”

  “The whole damn thing,” he said, and watched her rub the cream on to her hands. “If it warms my leg to numb it, won’t it numb your hands?”

  “I will wash them in a few minutes, so no problem.”

  He groaned the moment she moved her warm hands on his leg. Her smooth hands ran from his knee, over the scar and right up his thigh, and it was the most relieving thing he could have ever imagined. His skin started to warm from the contact, and he almost felt dizzy. No physiotherapist appointment felt that good.

  “You are good at this,” he said breathlessly. He settled into the joy that she gave him in an instant.

  “I have just had a lot of practice. Let me know if I touch you too hard and it hurts,” she said without a glance up at him. She continued to knead his leg for him, and could feel the tightness in the muscle.

  Cayetano could have sat with her all night. He watched her run her hands back and forward. He felt like a teenage boy the moment she reached the top of his leg. It excited him so much he could barely feel the leg at all. He couldn’t hide how much he liked her touch. From her spot between his legs, she could see his enthusiasm. When she leaned forward, her gown would billow open a little, and he could see her breasts sway gently underneath. She had tried to hide the fact she wore nothing under there before, but had now become distracted. María always had herself on show, and even posed nude in a magazine once. Viewers cared less for her news stories and more for the assets she bestowed, all courtesy of her doctor. What Luna had under there was totally different, voluptuous but natural. God, he wanted his hands on her again.

  “You okay up there?” she said and glanced up.

  “Sí, why?”

  “You’re moaning a lot.”

  Was he? He hadn’t even noticed. “It’s the best I have felt since the accident. I can feel it numbed already.”

  “Good,” she said and took her hands off him. “The cream will do the rest for you now that it has soaked in. You will be able to sleep easy now.”

  “What if I don’t want to sleep?”

  “Then don’t,” she smiled. “I need to wash my hands. I like to have full feeling in them.”

  “You wouldn’t want to rub the wrong thing and have ‘it’ lose feeling.” He couldn’t help himself.

  “No, I wouldn’t. Some things are very sensitive and need to be handled just right.” The green flecks in his eyes were back, and she couldn’t resist. She sat up on her knees and thrust her lips onto his. It went against everything she had just said to him, but she couldn’t contain herself. She felt his hands come to her back to hold her against him, firm like the slow kiss her gave her. She wound her arms around him as the urgency in his kiss intensified. She was careful to keep her hands off him; her hands were still covered in the cream.

  “I have to wash my hands,” she said, still pressed against him. “I shouldn’t be kissing you. You’re the guilty pleasure I need stay away from.”

  “The problem with guilty pleasures is that if you suppress your urges, they only fight harder to make you indulge.”

  “So to be wicked is my only option?” she asked, her lips against his.

  “Only after washing your hands.”

  Luna pulled herself away from him; her hands had started to tingle. She hurried through her bedroom to the bathroom and ran them under hot water. She looked up at herself in the mirror. She was flushed. Bright pink cheeks. There was no shame in feeling this way. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Feelings didn’t need time to be decided on, either they existed, or they didn’t. She had finally been thrown in the path of attraction again.

  Luna came out of the bathroom, to find Cayetano in the doorway to her bedroom. There was that stance again; shoulders back, chest out, every inch the man. “How is your leg?”

  “I can’t even feel it.”

  “Good. Then close the door behind you,” she said and crossed the room.

  Cayetano wanted to slam it and grab her, but he shut it as quietly as his patience would let him. His hands went to the tie of blue silk around her waist, and pulled it as they kissed. His hands ran over her shoulders and pushed the gown from her so his hands could roam over her bare body. She let his mouth go and pulled his shirt over his head to let their hot skin touch. Luna managed to wriggle his boxers off him while they fiercely seared their affection on one another. Cayetano certainly hadn’t imagined this as the response to his apology when he knocked on the door, but it was clearly the best idea he had ever had in his life. This wasn’t like the first night they spent together, neither of them had that kind of patience. This was pure and raw desire.

  No sooner than they had fallen onto the bed in a heap, Cayetano pulled her up on him. He had his hands firmly on her hips to guide her body to his. Cayetano couldn’t just lie back when she consumed him; just the quiver alone that shot through his body was enough to shock him upright. He could hear his voice cry out, but it sounded like it was somewhere in the foggy distance while she took him to the edge and beyond. He was erotically delighted at the power she held over him, and utterly thrilled at the effect he had over her when she passionately cried out. Every kiss was a desperate, hungry clutch at each other, a search for a way to be as close as possible. Whatever invisible power that drew the two together wasn’t finished with them.

  It was just light when Cayetano woke the next morning. He opened his eyes to see Luna getting out of the bed next to him. “Hey,” he whispered. “Where are you going?”

  “I need to start my day.” She clutched the sheet to her chest and sat down next to him.

  “What time is it?”

  “Just after six.”

  “Why so early? Come back to bed,” he said and tugged at her arm.

  “I have kids. If I don’t get up and shower now, I won’t get another chance.”

  “I will watch them for you.” Cayetano pulled her back down into the bed and kissed her. “Or am I the dirty secret that needs to sneak out?”

  “Yes, you are. They don’t need to know you were here, even if they don’t understand what it means.”

  Cayetano sat up on one elbow and looked at her. “I have snuck out plenty of times before, but never because of the children nearby.”

  “Well, consider your horizons broadened then.”

  “Have I broadened yours?”

  “You have no idea.”

  Cayetano’s face darkened with a serious expression. “Do you believe in fate?”

  “No.”

  “At all?”

  “Nope.”

  “Why?”

  “Fate can’t be real. It would mean that I was destined for all the bad things that have happened to me. Fate is believed in by people that have happy endings.”

  “Our families lived next to each other. Then, 70 years later, we bump into each other in the street and fall in love? You don’t think that’s fate?” The second he had said it, he realised what he had done. He had just thrown the L word at her.

  “Is that fate or coincidence?”

  Screw it. “Luna, I have fallen in love with you. Coincidence doesn’t do this to a man.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “It is.”

  “We barely know each other.”

  “We can be fast learners.”

  Luna studied him for a second. “Have you ever used the expression ‘need time to decide what we both want’ on someone?”

  “I used it on María when I kicked her out. It was a polite way of saying ‘I have no feelings fo
r you but can’t admit it’.”

  “If you fall in love with someone, you don’t need time to figure what to do about it.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “I have to tell Darren that I can’t marry him. Not when I would rather be here with you.”

  A greedy grin spread over Cayetano’s face. “I thought you were about to tell me that you needed time.”

  “Time won’t change what I think.”

  “Come away with me, to Madrid.”

  “I can’t. I have a whole life in Valencia.”

  “Next weekend, come to my country place outside Madrid … you and the kids. We can stay in the city on Friday and then head out. I have a plan. We can relax and continue to search for your grandfather at the same time.”

  “How?”

  “I have a plan, preciosa. Trust me.”

  “Trust you? You are the most wicked man I have ever come across.”

  “I’ll take that as compliment,” he whispered, and kissed her. His large hand took the sheet that she still held to her chest and pulled it from her fingers. She let his hands roam on to her body, and forgot that she was supposed to get rid of him.

  “Mummy!”

  Cayetano and Luna sat bolt upright in bed when they heard the little voice. Only a moment later the door flew open and there stood both Giacomo and Enzo, still in their lime green pajamas. “Mummy, I’m hungry,” Enzo said.

  “Why is Cayetano in your bed?” Giacomo asked.

  Luna and Cayetano shared a panicked look. Even with the covers pulled partly up it was pretty obvious they weren’t wearing much. “Um… Cayetano came to visit last night to ask me a question…. and then he was too scared to go back to his own room because he is afraid of the dark. So he had to stay here.”