Secrets of Spain Trilogy

by Caroline Angus Baker

  “Oh good, then, if you had such a good time, you will be happy to live in Valencia with me.”

  Cayetano took a step back and raised his eyebrows. “And leave Madrid? Please, mujer, not going to happen.”

  “Fine, I’ll get a part-time lover for when you aren’t around.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “No, I wouldn’t. You’re a handful enough.”

  “How are you, my preciosa? I felt so miserable that I left you after all that happened with Alejandro.”

  “The man died,” she shrugged. “I feel awful for him, all alone as he was. He has been cremated and had no funeral. That is sad.”

  “But that was what he wanted. He had you in his last months, and that would have given him immense comfort. Not only in giving him someone important in his life, but also because it eased the weight of guilt that he had to carry.”

  Luna watched her children rip into gifts with sheer delight. “But now it’s me who carries all that weight. What am I meant to do with that information? We can’t tell Paco the truth.”

  “It was you who was so determined to find Cayetano Ortega, so Alejandro gave you the release you wanted, and in turn battled his own demons. This story was never destined to have a happy ending.”

  “I thought I would be angry that he murdered Cayetano Ortega. He killed his own best friend and in front of his sister. But I’m not mad.”

  “He was in a bad place at the time.”

  “I’ve been in the bad place that he was in. When I saw Fabrizio at the hospital, all cut up and bloody when he died, I thought my own life was over. I couldn’t imagine a life where I could ever do anything without seeing that image in my mind. I still have it there, all the time. I took my anger out on the person who did it, but not with violence. I will admit it crossed my mind to hurt others.”

  “Society had burst wide open, we can’t judge Alejandro.”

  “I have no intention of judging. It happened. It can stay in 1939 as far as I’m concerned. Only you and I know what that note from Alejandro said. I’m quite happy for Cayetano and Sofía to stay buried in secret at Escondrijo. Everyone involved is dead, let it rest.”

  “What about Alejandro’s ashes?”

  “I will put them at Escondrijo with Sofía, I guess.”

  “Not with his sister, here in Madrid? Luna is buried alone.”

  “Would she have wanted him with her?”

  “Would she have wanted him with Cayetano?”

  “I don’t know. We will never know. Like you said, the story has no happy ending. How is Paco?”

  “I think Papá hasn’t even come to terms with the fact Alejandro and Sofía were his biological parents.”

  “A subject close to my heart,” Luna sighed. “Cayetano Ortega is my biological grandfather, but he did nothing to shape my family or my life. I can see why Paco would feel the same way. Luna Beltrán was his mother. She was there when it counted. But,” she gestured to the children, “Fabrizio won’t be there for my sons. It doesn’t mean he is just shoved aside and forgotten. I think it’s an individual choice that Paco needs to make about his biological heritage.”

  “I have no intention of taking Fabrizio’s place with the boys, I hope you know that.”

  “I do know that. I won’t ask you to.”

  “But I do want to be a father. I don’t care if they are not my own biological children.”

  “You have a biological child on the way, with María.” Luna turned her attention back to the children who had unwrapped an Xbox. “Cayetano! You can’t spend that kind of money! They are only five years-old!”

  “Nearly six,” Giacomo said.

  “He didn’t, the three magi left them on his windowsill for us early, right, Cayetano?” Enzo said.

  “Right,” Cayetano replied, and turned to Luna’s guilty expression. “Your Mamá forgets who brings the gifts.”

  “We have been good this year,” Giacomo said.

  “You have, that’s true,” Luna said.

  “You’re very lucky,” Cayetano said.

  “Caya, it’s too much,” Luna said to him.

  “Nothing is too much. You’re going to be my wife, remember?”

  “How could I forget, carrying this thing around?” Luna hung her left hand as if to show the diamond was too bulky to carry.

  “Very funny.” Cayetano put his arms around her while they watched the kids play. “It’s going to take a while to condition you into being my wife, isn’t it?”

  “In what way?”

  “In that you’re incredibly stubborn and independent. You don’t have to fight the world anymore, la chispa.”

  “I don’t have to fight? That will be new. I have had no one to back me up when things went wrong.”

  “You do now. You have a whole family now. You’re Spanish, not a foreigner.”

  “I don’t know what I am. I do know that I won’t be an obedient wife.”

  “Yeah, I know. You will be difficult to handle. But I fight bulls, so I can fight you.”

  Luna scoffed, but the doorbell interrupted her reply. Cayetano slipped his arm from around her waist, and went to answer the door. Luna didn’t even enquire who it was; she didn’t care. She was just happy to be there, in his home. Then she heard Cayetano call her name from the direction of the kitchen. She left the twins with their things and went to find Cayetano leaning against the island counter, with María across the room with her arms folded. Not Luna’s first choice for Christmas visitors.

  “María has got something to tell us,” Cayetano said.

  “I saw the photos of your engagement in the paper today,” María said. “A two-page spread. Quite a public announcement.”

  “Not really, just an opportunistic photographer and my boss eager to get the team name out there any way he can,” Luna said.

  “It came with quite a story. Grandparents torn apart by war, and a romantic speech from a torero in full dress.”

  “All true,” Cayetano said, as he looked at the floor.

  “I have fielded a lot of questions about my marriage,” María said. “Like how my husband is proposing to someone else.”

  “You’re the one who loves a public life, so there is not much I can say about that.”

  “I signed the divorce papers. It won’t look good if I do anything else. I will look like the spiteful bruja who got in the way of a love affair.”

  “It must be exhausting to spend so much time wondering what other people think,” Luna said.

  “I just like it to sound favourable. It’s not all pleasant about you, you know. First a celebrity sports star husband, and now a bullfighter. And a rumour you were involved with a friend of your husband.”

  “María, shut the fuck up,” Cayetano spat out.

  “No, it’s okay,” Luna said. “My first husband wasn’t a celebrity, just part of something high profile, something far bigger than he was by himself. The same can be said for Cayetano, one man who is part of something ingrained into society. And if anyone is confused about my private friendship with Darren James, they are welcome to ask me about it. But they will never understand a private bond. People can think what they like, because I have better things to worry about.”

  “I came here and told you that I slept with Cayetano behind your back. I told you that I was pregnant to him.”

  “Yet he still wants to be with me. I want to be with him, baby or not. The circumstances of the time when he gave you quick sex, or why I chose to let it go, will never be anyone’s business.”

  “I think I can see María’s problem,” Cayetano said. “She wants to announce her pregnancy, but the father is marrying someone else. Not the pretty image. Now is your chance, María, you can make me out to be the bad guy. Go ahead, I don’t care.”

  “I don’t want to do that,” María said. “Papá asked me not to.”

  “Then Leandro is a kinder person than you. Respect your father, he is a good, and ill, man.”

  “I asked him what
you and he have talked about lately, but he said it was private.”

  Cayetano smiled, and Luna joined him; Leandro knew that Luna was his uncle’s granddaughter and hadn’t told María.

  “How would you feel if I spoke to your family behind your back?” María asked.

  “You have plenty of times. Look, we have things to do. We have two children to spend the evening with. We have a big day tomorrow.”

  “Meeting the Beltrán’s?’ María asked Luna. “You have my sympathy.”

  “I don’t think it will be any problem. We have history,” Luna said.

  “How?”

  “None of your business,” Cayetano said. “Thank you for signing the divorce papers. As for the baby…”

  “It’s not your baby.”

  Cayetano stood up straight the moment that María said that. Luna watched his whole body freeze; the proud, shoulders back, chest out stance was back. She couldn’t tell if he was surprised or angry. He seemed to be speechless.

  “I already knew I was pregnant when I slept with you. I had just found out. I thought it would starve off the divorce a bit longer…”

  “And what? Pin me to a child that wasn’t mine? How could you be that cruel?”

  “You’re happy to be Papá to Luna’s kids! They aren’t yours!”

  “That is my choice. Did you consider the amount of pain a secret like that would cause?”

  “Can we keep our voices down, please?” Luna asked. She poked her head out the door to check on the kids nearby.

  “Sorry,” Cayetano said. “María, I will never love you. Baby or not. That is such a cruel, predictable, and sorry trick to play. Never mind you and I, the pain it could cause the child, and its own children, could be monumental. People have a right to know who they are and where they come from.”

  “Would you two like to discuss this in private?” Luna asked.

  “No.” Cayetano reached out and took her hand “I don’t think there isn’t anything else to discuss. Thank you, María, for coming over here and telling me what I knew – that I made all the right choices this past year.”

  “Does the real father know about this?” Luna asked.

  “No, but he will. Paulo and I have been on a break.”

  “Tell him the truth,” Cayetano said. “Now get the fuck out of my house.”

  He and Luna stood silent while María left the apartment. Cayetano held his breath until he heard the front door slam shut. “Jesucristo,” he sighed.

  “Exactly how many bombshells are going to be dropped on us?”

  “Preciosa,” he mumbled with his large hands over his mouth. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  Luna pulled his hands away from his face. “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not. I let the witch in. I did this. I caused all this trouble between us. As if we didn’t have enough hurdles…”

  “But as far as major developments go, this one is pretty good for you and me.”

  “We can be married sooner than planned.”

  “If you like.”

  “And there will be no more María in our lives.”

  “But you don’t get the child you want so much.”

  “But I have you, and I have Giacomo and Enzo.”

  “Is that enough for you?”

  “I can’t have children, and you don’t want to. I have no choice.”

  “Maybe you do. Nothing is impossible, there are just some obstacles. You said it was our job to make sure history didn’t repeat. So we need to overcome all the hurdles.”

  “So, you’re saying you would want a child with me?”

  “Slow down! I’m just saying… anything is possible. One day. A long way off from now. I’m certainly not ready for that.”

  “I hope you know how much I love you.”

  “I do. I know I’ve been pretty hesitant with you the whole time we’ve been together, but I do love you.”

  “You agreed to love me, and marry me, even though you thought the baby was mine.”

  Luna just shrugged with a smile.

  “It shows how much you love me. Actions speak louder than words.”

  “María has given you the best gift ever. Now, we can take the kids to the Three Kings parade at Plaza de Colon, knowing we are free to live our lives.”

  “Freedom. We are free, our parents, our grandparents, finally, we are all free of what hurts us.”

  44

  Madrid, España ~ Enero de 2010

  Rebelión on Dia de los Reyes Magos, Three Kings Day, was just as Luna expected. Dozens of people to meet, all eager to be introduced to the woman that the future patriarch of the family had been indulging in a private whirlwind relationship with. It was hard to keep up with all the names. José and Consuela Morales, in addition to Cayetano’s mother, Inés, had three sons, all married with children and grandchildren of their own, which resulted in a large family. It was Inés that Luna had to impress, and also her husband, Paco, who had been furious with Luna last time they met. But for today, everyone was in a warm mood, and the children were more than happy to play with the other children in the lavish home, which left Luna to try and settle into the notion of having an extended family.

  “Taking a look at all our embarrassing moments, are you?”

  Luna turned away from the family photos on the wall to see Cayetano’s sister, Sofía. “Not at all. They are terrific photos.”

  “We are a crazy bunch, but you’ll get used to it.”

  “I’m sure I will.”

  “Just watch cousin Alonso. His wandering hands are the reason his wife left him. He works for Caya, so you will have to avoid him a lot.”

  “I’ll remember that.”

  “How are you? You must be wondering why you said yes to marrying my brother.”

  Luna laughed. “He has his crazy moments, that’s for sure.”

  “Caya was a mess without you, Luna. Really. My mother even called me to see if I could do anything to help him. My mother and I don’t get along at all. You have brought my parents back to speaking to me. Well, you, and María trying to pin a baby on Caya.”

  “You all know about that?”

  “Only me, and Mamá and Papá. That can fade away. I have to say, you have taken that well.”

  “It’s a long complicated story. The result is that we can move on.”

  “It’s none of our business. My family likes to hold grudges, so you will be a breath of fresh air.”

  “Or they will hate me.”

  “I doubt it. If Papá gives his approval of you, everyone will think you’re a gift from heaven. Paco is a hard man to please, but he raves about you.”

  “He does?” Luna squinted when she said it.

  “He does to me. I need to get myself another drink, family events are not my favourite thing, but I wanted to come and see you and Caya. Can I get you anything?”

  “No, thank you. Unless, you can find where Cayetano went?”

  “He will be gossiping somewhere, I guarantee it,” Sofía said as she turned away. “He loves being the centre of attention.”

  That was certainly true. Luna stood and watched her children play in the middle of the room, quite happy to ignore all the adults around and mingle with the kids. She felt proud of them, speaking Spanish as fluently as they did. It had taken years of Fabrizio’s teaching her before she picked it up herself.

  “Luna?”

  She looked up to see Paco there, and she smiled. “Yes, Paco?”

  “A moment?” He gestured for them to step through into the dining room, all quiet for now. “I was pleased to hear that you decided to return my mother’s diary, even if it didn’t give you any good news.”

  “I got the truth, and I’m grateful to you and your mother for helping me. It has cost you a lot to help me out.”

  “It shouldn’t have been so hard. I should have been more understanding of you and Caya from the beginning. I should have been more honest about the fact I knew who Scarlett was, but I didn’t. Can an old man admit he w
as wrong?”

  “He can, but I wouldn’t expect him to.”

  Paco smiled. “I can’t pretend that I haven’t caused you and Cayetano a lot of problems. I was so busy looking at myself that I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

  “Paco, if it were me then I would be the same. Everyone has secrets. I have two sons, and one day, do I want them to know the whole story of their father’s life and death? No. It would hurt them. We all have parts of our lives that deserve privacy.”

  “My mother will always be a painful story for me. She died when I was only 20, and the pain of it never ends, not even after 50 years. I’m a grown man, so it sounds ridiculous…”

  “No it doesn’t, I lost my father at that age, and my mother was already long dead. I know exactly how it feels. Seeing one of the most defining people in your life dying of illness is a torment. It doesn’t matter what age you are, it’s a painful affliction.”

  “My mother was a liar.”

  “No, she was a mother with a son. She loved someone, and she witnessed his needless death. She was hurting and tried to spare you the truth.”

  “I’m not ready to accept the truth.”

  “Well, we have only known the whole story for a week. It’s going to take a lot longer to accept it.”

  “So, my biological mother, Sofía, is buried at this Escondrijo?”

  “Yes, and so is Cayetano Ortega. Alejandro’s letter to me said he buried Cayetano next to Sofía after he shot him. Luna took the baby and ran, terrified of her brother. She took you to protect you from him. She never contacted him again.”

  “That must have been so awful,” he all but whispered. “She had to leave Cayetano’s body behind there, with the man who killed him.”

  “I know. I can’t believe she could go through something that painful and carry on with her life.”

  “She didn’t; she spent the rest of her days alone, not many friends, and her sham marriage didn’t last. She didn’t get over what happened.”

  “It makes me sick to just think about it. I saw my husband when he died. That was horrific. To have just left his body on the bed at the hospital and walk away… I couldn’t have done that. I spent days crying beside his coffin before the funeral. I needed that.”