“Luna is on a number of medications at this point. While we are being careful with her dosage, what a baby can cope with is another factor.”
“Are the drugs hurting the baby?”
“It is something we need to monitor. Lack of oxygen is the biggest concern for both Luna and her baby. But coma patients can go on to give birth and produce healthy children. You can appreciate it is not an issue that occurs often, but there is data on the subject.”
“Cayetano, the whole hospital is working on Luna,” Doctor Roig tried to reassure him. “Every department is aware of Luna and her treatment.”
The double doors to the small room banged open, and there stood a nurse with an ultrasound machine. Cayetano sat back while the doctors got organised. Funny how a simple piece of equipment on wheels could unlock so many secrets about a person. A simple stroke with the transducer and their baby would be there on the screen. But would Luna want them to go ahead without her permission?
“I realise this seems rushed, Cayetano,” Doctor Aziza said as the nurse adjusted Luna’s gown and blankets to expose her stomach. “But we need to keep checking for any placenta or uterine bleeding.”
“Is there is any way of knowing if the baby suffered lack of oxygen during the accident?” Cayetano asked as the nurse placed the cold gel on Luna. She should have yelped at the cold on her skin. But nothing. Not the faintest flicker of recognition.
“Not at this stage; the baby’s growth and development will help us learn more,” the doctor said as he typed something on the keyboard. “Right, let’s see this baby.” He rubbed the transducer on her skin, moving the clear gel around, before pressing firmer. In an instant, the little heartbeat appeared on the screen; the sound overtook everything else in the room. “There is your baby, Cayetano,” the doctor said. “Just what we need to see.”
Cayetano smiled as he looked at the black and white image across the bed. His face almost hurt. A smile hadn’t come to his lips in a while. He noticed a bit of movement, but the baby seemed no more than a blob on the screen. With a little imagination, Cayetano saw what seemed like a tiny limbless body. “Is the baby okay?” he asked.
“The baby seems fine,” Doctor Aziza said. “I just need to take a few measurements and check the placenta.”
As Doctor Aziza carried on with his examination, Cayetano turned to Doctor Roig. “Does Luna have any idea what is happening to her body?”
“No, I’m afraid she doesn’t. A coma is designed to stop everything in the body, all functions and sensations, to allow the brain to register nothing. All we want her body doing is allowing the brain to recover. At this point, we don’t need to be too pessimistic. I wouldn’t even consider turning off the life support until the end of the week…”
“What? Turn off life support?” Cayetano shrieked.
“I’m sorry, Cayetano, I didn’t mean to upset you. Luna is stable heading into her procedure. I am not suggesting that we need to turn off her life support.”
“But if nothing changes, you will?”
“We are not required to make that decision… at this stage.”
“Excuse me,” Doctor Aziza said, “I don’t…”
“What?” Cayetano said. “Come on, you have to say it.”
Doctor Aziza glanced at Doctor Roig, who frowned. Body language said it all. “There doesn’t appear to be a lot of fluid around the baby,” Doctor Aziza began. “The placenta and uterus seem to be okay, but…”
“But what?” Cayetano urged.
“We need to be vigilant.”
Cayetano paused for a moment. While they needed to make sure this little unknown Beltrán… Montgomery… was cared for, he felt guilty for doing this without Luna. It was her body, and she had no say or understanding. It seemed like the most violating thing of all. She hated being pregnant. She had told him of her stories of tears and depression and frustration, and of a horrific near-death birthing experience. He was betraying Luna just by looking at this child.
“Do you have any questions, Cayetano?” Doctor Aziza asked.
“No, as long as Luna and the baby are all right.”
“It’s much too early to tell anything for sure. Your baby is small for dates. That does concern me, as does the lack of fluid. We need to check the baby straight after her procedure.”
“Should I worry?” Cayetano asked as the doctor printed out a photo of the baby and handed it to him.
“One day at a time at this stage.”
“So yes, I should worry.”
“In order to know more, we need to perform an amniocentesis, to check things such as lung maturity, but it is much too early in a pregnancy for that. For now, the baby is alive, and Luna is stable. No need to rush.”
“I just want Luna to wake up.”
Doctor Roig looked at his watch. “I will get my team to come and get Luna, so we can get the drain inserted. We can’t delay any longer.”
“Will the procedure hurt the baby?”
“It’s possible that the baby will miscarry of its own accord. It’s possible the trauma of the whole event will take the baby from her, I’m afraid to say.”
“Is there anything you can do?”
“At this early stage, no. All we can do is save Luna. We have to wait.”
“Every minute is like a day.”
“Will you bring her children in to see her? Having them close may help Luna, and the children as well.”
“I’m afraid of what they will see.”
Doctor Roig looked at Luna and frowned. “Just hang in here a little longer. But, Cayetano, if you want to leave the hospital while she’s in surgery, it would be acceptable. She is stable. I would call you if you needed to come back.”
“Why would I leave her?”
“Sometimes a break is beneficial, that’s all. A shower in your own bathroom, a sleep in your own bed. It can make a very significant difference to how you cope.” He watched Cayetano just shrug. “Well, just think about it.”
Cayetano stood up and watched the two doctors leave the room. The nurse came over and helped Cayetano straighten Luna’s clothing up again. He appreciated how gentle she was with Luna. “Your wife is very strong,” the young woman said. “Many patients don’t last this long without Doctor Roig wanting to turn off the machines.”
Your wife. If only. “I didn’t know that.”
“They tell you the basics. It is standard procedure, to help you cope.”
“But what about all those people you see on television? In comas for years who wake up?”
“For every one patient like that, over 1000 will just die on arrival.”
“Wow.”
“Doctor Roig makes an opinion on a patient’s outcome early,” she continued. “If he didn’t think Luna would have a very marvellous chance of survival, he would have told you that already. He genuinely cares for her outcome.”
“I hope so.”
“Can I make a suggestion?”
“Anything.”
“Perhaps you should take a photo of Luna in this condition. Quite often, when a patient is recovering, it can be very difficult for them to cope. Your wife will have lost a large part of her life with this accident. When she is struggling, you have a photo to pull out to show her how far she has come. It can also help her to understand what happened to her, and will fill in the puzzle pieces her mind is missing.”
“I never thought of that. Do you think she will recover?”
“To me, there is no such thing as false hope. Only hope.”
36
Valencia, España ~ Junio de 2010
Tears came to Paco’s eyes the second the doors opened into Luna’s intensive care room. As soon as he could see her lying in bed, the stinging pain of tears attacked his resolve to stay focused. It had been three days since Luna had fallen, three days since Paco had got a tearful call from his nephew Miguel to tell him what had happened. For days, he and Inés sat at Luna’s Valencian apartment, unsure of what to do, just like José and Consuela
. Sofía busied herself with Darren to help Giacomo and Enzo. But now, to see his only son so devastated, so despondent at Luna’s bedside, nothing could describe it.
“Caya,” Inés said as they stood in the doorway.
Cayetano looked up; he had no idea his parents and grandparents had planned a visit. “This is a surprise.”
“Of course we came for you, my darling,” Inés said as they headed into the room. “We wanted to bring flowers, but they aren’t allowed, so they say.”
“No, no flowers in intensive care,” Cayetano said as he rounded the bed and hugged Consuela. “You didn’t bring the boys?”
“No,” Inés replied as she gathered her disheartened son in her arms. “Sofía is with Giacomo and Enzo. Darren needed to go out and get a few things for them. That man is very protective.”
“Darren spent years caring for them. I guess he thinks he knows better than all of you.”
“Nothing wrong with having people who care,” Consuela said as she sat down. José joined her but didn’t take his eyes off Luna.
“The boys are okay,” Paco said, in an attempt to sound confident. “They are convinced their mother will be better soon, but they miss her, and you.” Luna looked laid out like an exhibit of medical equipment, and Cayetano looked destroyed, but it needed to be said.
“Come and sit down,” Cayetano said to his parents, and gestured to the chairs scattered around the bedside. “Luna can hear you, so you can say anything you like here.”
“Luna can hear?” Inés asked, and took her hand.
“I’m sure of it,” Cayetano said as he nodded. “She will wake up, and she can tell us that she heard everything.”
Paco and Inés shared a look. Cayetano spoke at high speed. He looked more pale and thin than ever. His eyes were wide; the man seemed wired. Who knows what was keeping him going, but whatever it was, it wasn’t going to last much longer. He was a mess.
“I have been helping Luna with her exercises,” Cayetano continued to ramble. “Every day we massage her muscles to keep them relaxed. Any contact and movement is beneficial for her recovery.”
José hadn’t taken his eyes off Luna. He wiped a tear from his cheek. She had no hair; instead a white bandage covered her scalp. She had a large plastic mouthpiece that covered half her face as the air pumped into her. “Caya…” he managed to say.
“She is so beautiful, isn’t she?” Cayetano said in his hyped-up voice. “Still so beautiful. Today the doctor removed her drain from her skull. The brain swelling has reduced a lot. Her head must stay still though since the hole in her skull has just been sealed.”
“Cayetano, that’s fantastic news!” Consuela exclaimed, not wanting to think that it meant Luna had an open wound in her skull. “And yes, Luna is very beautiful.”
“Yes, but I saw her first. She is mine,” Cayetano said with a smile.
“Why don’t you sit down with us, Caya,” Paco said. “Tell us about what has been happening.” He was afraid his son would pass out at any moment.
Cayetano sat down his armchair, still holding Luna’s hand. “When Luna wakes up, she is going to be fine.”
“That’s great news,” Consuela said. “You must be pleased.”
“We are pleased. I’m sure she hears everything, but she will be so pleased when she wakes up and recalls all of the meetings with the doctor.”
Paco wasn’t sure how many times he had heard the expression ‘wake up’ already. “How are you, Caya?”
“Me? I’m good. Just need Luna to wake up now. How are the kids? Did I already ask that?” Cayetano looked away from all of them and out the window in the direction of the apartment building.
“They are coping,” Inés said. “Darren has been tremendous with them, despite the fact he appears very upset. Sofía dotes on them both.”
“But they need you, Caya,” Paco said.
“I know, and I have been trying my best. But I need to be here when Luna wakes up.”
“Luna would want to know you did the best for Giacomo and Enzo in her absence,” Consuela said. “Of course we will do everything for those little boys. But you promised to be their father.”
“I will when Luna wakes up.”
The family all looked at one another. They had never seen Cayetano like this. But then how would anyone react to such a dire situation? His soul mate was on life support.
“You can talk about anything,” Cayetano said. “Luna would love to listen to what has been happening.”
“Um, okay,” Inés said. “Sofía got laid off from work, so she can now come to Valencia to help out more, so she says.”
“Did you hear that, preciosa?” Cayetano said and shook Luna’s hand. “You just need to wake up, and there will be a friend to help.” Cayetano looked over at José, who tried to hide his wet eyes. “Papí? You okay?”
“No,” he sniffed. “I’m sorry, but I can’t sit here and make conversation. I would give anything to turn back time and have Luna yelling at me again. I thought things were bad then. Shit like this shouldn’t happen.”
“She will wake up,” Consuela said, not really knowing what to say to her husband.
Cayetano turned and looked at Luna again; she lay as still as ever. As usual. He burst into tears, and his deep voice cried out in desperation. “She’s gone,” he all but screamed.
Paco and Inés both leaped their feet, unsure of what to do. Their son bawled his eyes out, his defeated and broken voice sobbed. The whole hospital probably heard him.
“Caya,” Paco said, and rounded the bed to stand next to him. “Caya, it’s okay…”
“It’s not okay,” he wailed. “None of this is okay. I can’t live without Luna. I’m not strong like she is, and this is all my fault. I did this to her.”
José ran his hand over his mouth, trying to think of something to calm his distraught and exhausted grandson.
“Caya,” Inés said, and reached over the bed to rest her hand on his shoulder. “Would you like to step outside for a minute to get some air?”
“No!” Cayetano cried as he jumped from his seat. “I don’t want to do anything! I can’t do this anymore!” By now he was holding both of Luna’s hands. “I just want to her to wake up! Please, la chispa,” he cried, and started to shake her. “Just wake up!”
“Cayetano, don’t move her,” Paco said. “Gentle, remember? You just told us that.”
“Of course I remember,” he snapped. “But no one is doing anything to help her!”
“She is doing it all on her own,” Consuela said. “Luna is resting so she can get better.”
Cayetano looked away from Luna to his family, who all looked shaken. “She shouldn’t do it alone. She does everything alone. Luna should be with me.”
The world suddenly changed on Cayetano. A sound that wasn’t there before broke through his pain. A rough, deep gurgling sound came from Luna. Her body started to move, her chest heaving on its own. In an instant, her pulse rate started to increase, which set off her blood pressure alarm. The moment it started up, a nurse burst into her room. She must have been at the door the whole time.
“I’m sorry,” the young nurse said. “You all need to leave.”
Cayetano watched the nurse lean over and hit the emergency button on the wall. She started to fuss with Luna’s ventilator. “What have I done?” he asked her. Cayetano looked over at his family, who all shuffled towards the doors. What had he done? Another nurse burst into the room, and got dispatched by the on-duty nurse. “What’s happening?” Cayetano asked.
“You all need to leave,” the nurse repeated. “You don’t want to see this.”
The doors banged opened again and in came Doctor Roig; he went straight to the bedside to look at Luna as she continued to make the horrid sound. “Can you all please step outside for a moment?” he said to the shaken family members.
They all nodded in fear and turned for the door. Cayetano wanted to follow them, but the doctor held him back. “Cayetano, not you. Take a seat.�
��
“What’s happening? Please, what did I do?”
“You haven’t done anything.” Doctor Roig took the now unscrewed ventilator from the nurse. “Luna is choking on her CPAP tube. We need to remove it. It can be unpleasant to watch.”
Cayetano squinted, but couldn’t dare to look away. He watched the long wet plastic tube being pulled from her body, and it just kept coming and coming. Doctor Roig was right, Luna was choking. Her body gagged on the huge tube. “How will she breathe now?”
Doctor Roig watched as her pulse rate started to slow as they removed the tube. “Your girlfriend is responding, Cayetano.”
“What?” he gasped and rushed forward. The nurse stepped out the way with the tube equipment to let him get closer to Luna.
Doctor Roig lifted one of Luna’s eyelids and pulled his torch from his pocket. “See?” He flashed the light on her eyeball and the pupil flickered. “She’s choking because her body is breathing on its own. It sounds worrisome, but it’s a terrific thing. Rejecting the ventilator is a telling sign that her body is recovering. The brain is functioning well enough to send the signal to the lungs to start breathing again.”
“That’s good? She doesn’t look awake.”
“Something in her brain is firing. It’s happy news, Cayetano. Very happy news.”
“So why isn’t she awake?”
“It’s too early to say for sure. For now, her body is fighting for itself. We can wean her from her coma and see what happens. Now is the time to see what brain function she still has. We should do another scan soon to see what is firing in her brain.”
“What if it’s nothing? Is this it? What if this is the best she will ever get?”
“Cayetano, I’m sorry, but I can’t say any more.” Doctor Roig checked her eyes again. “We need to move slowly. We can start to wean her off the drugs and see what happens. But in 12 to 24 hours from now, there might be a sign of what state she is in, inside her own mind. Cayetano, this is all fantastic news. There is hope.”
Cayetano took a deep breath and sat down. “I just have to wait.”
“No, you need to go home, shower and sleep. Nothing is going to happen right away. Luna is stable. You are not. Go home. Rest. Look after Luna’s children.”
Secrets of Spain Trilogy Page 76