by Sian Ceinwen
“No,” Lita said, then shrugged. “I’m actually not sure. I didn’t want to move cities, so it never came up. He did tell me I could move to Galena and raise the baby there when we first decided to go through with this, so maybe he meant that.”
Heather moved over and sat down on the sofa with Ariana between them, then sighed. “I’m sorry for getting so angry, Lita. Sebastian is so much more than the persona he puts out to the world. Actions speak louder than words with Seb. We have been able to see for a long time that he’s in love with you. Oh god, Ariana, remember at Galena?”
Ariana looked at Heather and nodded. “Yes, when Lita told him off, and he actually listened. In fact, I think you’re the only person I’ve ever seen him listen to before. So it surprised me when he listened to Lita.” Ariana looked back at Lita. “Seb does anything Heather tells him to. He even forgave me for her. She was very sad at the time, you see.”
“He still wouldn’t let me beat him at pool, though, remember?” Heather grinned.
Both women laughed at whatever they were remembering, and Lita was struck with a strange combination of emotions. Not quite jealousy, not quite pity. An odd mixture of them, with an added dash of fierce protectiveness over Sebastian. Sadness for him because he hadn’t met anyone in the years before he met Lita with whom he could connect. At the same time, relief that he hadn’t, but it combined with a stab of guilt that he’d connected with her, and she’d hurt him today.
“He wouldn’t even take a woman to Heather’s engagement party,” Ariana told Lita and rolled her eyes. “He didn’t want them getting ideas. Yet, he invited you to my wedding. Why? Just to get to spend a weekend with you? I also think he wants you to be involved with us. He heavily suggested I should invite you this weekend too.”
“Oh my god. I don’t have to come. God, that’s so embarrassing.” Lita was mortified that Sebastian had forced her on his friends like that.
Ariana smiled. “No, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re here, and we’ll have fun tomorrow. My point is Sebastian obviously wants you in his life. I get that there have been other women, and I’m not suggesting you need to be okay with that. It just doesn’t seem like you’ve given him a chance to even try not sleeping with other women.”
“It’s scary,” Lita admitted. “I broke up with my ex because he cheated on me. What if I get into a relationship with Sebastian and he cheats on me, too?”
“Are you going to play the ‘what if?’ game forever?” Ariana asked her. “I mean, ‘what if I walk outside and get hit by a bus?’, ‘what if I eat a piece of steak and choke to death?’. Here’s another, ‘what if Sebastian really is in love with you, stops sleeping with other women, and you two actually get to be happy together?’.
“Because I used to play that game too. Wondering what would happen if Gabriel and I broke up. Never considering what would happen if we didn’t. For some reason, it’s so much easier to envisage the negatives than the positives.”
Lita wiped at the tears that were falling again, then went and got her phone before sitting back down. Still nothing from Sebastian. She hated herself for sending him out, and for not replying differently to him when he’d told her he loved her.
She sighed heavily, then looked up at the women in front of her. “My other concern is that Sebastian will resent me if I tell him he can’t sleep with other women.”
“I’ve told you before that you don’t know him as well as you think you do, Lita,” Heather said slowly. “I don’t think sex with other women means as much to him as you think it does.”
“The night we met, he told me that he didn’t want to be beholden to someone as to when and where he puts his dick places, though,” Lita shrugged.
“And has he acted in a way that makes you think he really feels that way when the person is you?” Heather asked her with an eyebrow raised.
Lita thought about it; he’d admitted he felt beholden to her. She’d even called him out on that fact last weekend, and he hadn’t denied it. Every ground rule she’d asked of him, he had taken on board and stuck to. He also hadn’t seemed to resent any of them.
Lita sighed. “No. I fucked up so badly. Fuck.”
Heather smiled and came over to give her a hug, then told Lita with a wicked grin, “Nobody can fuck up as much as Ariana did, and we’re going to her wedding next weekend.”
“Thanks, Heather. You’re the best friend a girl could ask for,” Ariana laughed.
“What if he sleeps with someone tonight?” Lita wondered aloud.
Heather looked at her. “Okay, let’s play. What if he does, Lita? How would you feel?”
“Like it’s the confirmation I need that I was right to think we shouldn’t be in a relationship together.” Lita cringed.
Heather nodded. “So Sebastian sleeping with other women is a deal-breaker for you?”
“Yes, I’ve told you that before.”
“But you told him to do it. Was it some kind of test?” Heather raised an eyebrow at her.
Lita shook her head. “No, not intentionally. It’s just all so fucking complicated, and it wasn’t before. We were just good friends who were having a baby and sleeping together when we were in the same city but were free to be with whomever we wanted.
“I know consensual non-monogamy is a thing. It’s basically what we’ve been doing, but it’s not something I personally want in a long-term relationship. I’ve been okay with him sleeping with other women because he wasn’t my boyfriend, and we were just casual. The fact the idea of him sleeping with someone else hurts so much now terrifies me.”
“If it helps, I have my doubts he will,” Heather smiled kindly at her.
“Yeah, but you also said you thought he’d been sleeping with less women since he met me, so I take what you say with a grain of salt, Heather Fletcher,” Lita told her with a small smile.
Ariana laughed. “She’s got you there. We all saw that Reddit post. I can’t believe someone did a whole damn timeline. That’s effort.”
“You’d be surprised what people will do to get karma on Reddit,” Lita replied.
They ended up talking for another hour. Heather told Lita about the dress she’d been making for her to wear, and they talked about Ariana’s wedding plans. By the time Lita finally went to bed, she was feeling much better, even though she still hadn’t heard from Sebastian.
She was sad about going to the spare bedroom. She wanted to go to his bed instead, but she knew she couldn’t, and they needed to talk and find out what everything would be like going forward. Lita hoped he would be back in the morning, though, because she missed him terribly.
20
LEVEL 17 – Classy, Like Ariana
Your baby is the size of a large order of fries.
Let’s play a game. Is it the hormones, the tiredness, or the tension that’s causing your headaches? Either way, this pregnancy symptom may be giving you some grief. Check with your doctor about how to relieve the pain because most of the good drugs are off-limits, unfortunately.
Ariana’s bachelorette party was a high tea at the same elegant Chicago hotel where the wedding was being held next weekend, so Lita had gone with a floral, flowing dress and some black ballet flats.
Lita hoped that she wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb amongst Ariana’s guests, who were probably all going to be wearing designer clothes. She was grateful that Sebastian had asked Heather to make her a dress for next weekend.
“Hi, Ben,” she said as she walked toward the elevator where he was sitting. “I’m ready to go.”
Lita was close to tears; she’d woken to an empty apartment this morning and no reply from Sebastian to the text she’d sent him. Now it was time for her to leave, and she still hadn’t heard from him. Ben drove her to the hotel where the bachelorette party was taking place. Lita was horrified to see a group of paparazzi hanging around at the entrance as they were pulling up to the hotel.
“Oh, great, just what I wanted today,” Lita cringed.
“You’ll
be fine, Miss Ciccone,” Ben told her. “I’ll take you inside, and you just let me know when you’re ready to leave.”
“Thanks, Ben. You’re the best.” She gave him a grateful smile.
He stopped the car in front of the entrance and came around to open her door. As soon as she stepped out, people started taking her photo and calling out questions.
“Lolita, are you living here in Chicago now?”
“We saw Sebastian taking a woman to a hotel last night; how did that make you feel?”
Lita didn’t respond, but she felt as though her heart was splintering into pieces. She’d suspected this when he didn’t return home, but having it confirmed for her this way hurt.
“Are you going to Ariana’s bachelorette party?”
“Will you be at the wedding next week, Lolita?”
She ignored all of the questions and allowed Ben to escort her into the hotel.
Once she was safely inside, he hesitated before asking quietly, “Are you okay, Miss Ciccone?”
“Yeah, Ben,” Lita said as she wiped a tear from her eye. “It’s fine.”
“Okay. Well, call me if you need me.” He gave her a grim smile and left to take the car away.
Lita sniffed and wiped at a fresh set of tears, reminding herself that this was what she’d wanted. Now she and Sebastian could just be good friends and parents together. No complications with sex and feelings, each free to get into the type of relationship that they wanted.
She stood up a little straighter, then followed the directions on signs indicating where the party was and gave her name to two security men who were standing guard at the entrance to the room where the party was being held.
She walked into the room and was blown away; it was absolutely stunning, and there were so many more people here than she’d expected. The room was decorated with beautiful floral arrangements, and Lita could tell that the whole thing must have cost an absolute fortune.
There were butterflies flying around in her stomach at having to meet a room full of new people. Lita checked a seating chart and was relieved to see that she’d been placed at a table with both Ariana and Heather. She was sitting in between Heather and someone named Ally.
Lita wondered how much rearranging had been done for her to end up on a table with the bride and maid-of-honor. It was embarrassing enough to be a last-minute addition, but worse to know they’d worked around her like this. At the same time, she was so grateful that they had, even though a part of her was dreading seeing Heather today.
She made her way to their table, and both Ariana and Heather stood up to greet her when she found it.
“Hi, Lita!” Ariana exclaimed and laughed. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in sixteen hours.”
“Yeah, it’s definitely been a while.” Lita gave her a tight smile.
“I promise not to yell at you today, darling,” Heather winked at her, then frowned. “Are you okay?”
Lita shook her head as she took her seat. “Not really.”
The other two women took their seats, and a waiter offered her an option of either a mimosa or a glass of orange juice. Both were being served in champagne glasses, and she couldn’t recall ever drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
“What’s wrong, Lita?” Ariana leaned around Heather to ask quietly.
Lita was aware of the strangers at the table and was very uncomfortable replying, but said, “Sebastian didn’t come home last night. One of the reporters outside said he took a woman to a hotel last night.”
Ariana’s face fell as she listened, and she said, “Oh, Lita, I’m so sorry.”
“Did you ask him if he actually slept with her?” Heather asked Lita with a frown on her face.
Lita shook her head and was horrified when tears started to fall again.
“Why not?” Heather asked.
“As I said, he didn’t come home last night, and he also hasn’t replied to my text.”
“He wasn’t there by the time you left?” Ariana cringed.
“No, he wasn’t. So, I guess I have my answer.”
Heather narrowed her eyes and picked up her phone from the table. When she’d unlocked it, Lita saw her pull up her favorite contacts, where Sebastian’s name sat directly underneath Harrison’s at the top of the list.
“No, don’t, Heather,” Lita cringed.
“I have to,” was her reply as she pressed his name on her screen.
Lita could hear the ringing tone through the phone and then Sebastian’s voice as he replied, “Hey lover, what does your sexy ass want this morning?”
Lita felt a stinging pang of hurt. Not at the joke, but at the fact that he had responded. He sounded fine and happy, and as though he could very easily have contacted Lita if he’d wanted to.
“What my sexy ass wants to know is where the hell you are and why Lita hasn’t heard from you today.”
There was silence from both their table and the other end of the line. Lita studied the tablecloth, not wanting to look at the strangers listening to her private business, but she couldn’t stop herself from hearing Sebastian’s tinny reply through the phone that Heather was holding right next to her.
“Has she told you what happened?”
“Yes,” Heather confirmed.
“Then why are you asking me this? I went to Gabriel’s bachelor party yesterday and took a chick back to a hotel. It was late, I was tired, and I didn’t particularly want to go back to the apartment. So, I stayed here instead.”
“Why the fuck are you doing this, Sebastian?” Heather asked.
“Do you mean the thing that she literally told me to do? I told her I’m in love with her, and she said to go fuck someone else.”
Lita cringed, Sebastian’s voice had gotten louder, and she was sure that most of their table could hear him now.
“You weren’t meant to do it, you dumbass.” Heather rolled her eyes. “Neither of you seems to know what you should do, but it’s blatantly obvious that you should be together.”
There was no response from Sebastian’s end of the line, and Heather pulled the phone away from her ear, looked at the screen where they could all see the call was still connected, then put it back up to her ear again.
“Sebastian?”
When he replied, Lita flinched as she heard him using the same cold tone that he’d used on her the morning the condom had broken.
“I cannot stress enough how much this is not your business, Heather Fletcher. I let you overstep in my life a lot because I love you, but this is between Lita and me, no one else. You do not need to be involved. Tell Lita I’ll see her later, and we can talk.”
“No,” Heather snapped. “You can tell her your damn self since it’s so very not my business. I’m not going to be your messenger girl just because you’re too much of a pussy to contact the mother of your child after you’ve gone off to fuck someone else like an asshole.”
Heather gasped, and her eyes went wide as she dropped her phone on the table. “He fucking hung up on me. I can’t believe he did that.”
They sat in silence until Lita’s phone lit up with a text from Sebastian.
I’ll be home later. We should probably talk.
“Oh, I’m so looking forward to that,” Lita said sarcastically. “I’m sorry, Ariana, this is supposed to be your big day, and I’m just bringing drama.”
Ariana smiled at her. “It’s fine, Lita. I suppose I should introduce you. Guys, this is Lita, she’s…” She trailed off.
“Having Sebastian’s baby.” Lita shrugged.
Heather said, “Since Ariana clearly won’t be introducing you, I’ll do it. This is Charlotte, Ariana’s friend and another bridesmaid. Next to her is Gabriel’s sister, Dina, she’s the last bridesmaid. Gabriel’s other sisters, Evangeline and Celeste, are sitting across from you. Next to them, you’ve got Hayden’s sister, Vanessa, and Ally, she’s a close friend of ours.”
Lita wondered if this was the same Ally that was a recent ex of Hayden’s. Ariana
had sat her next to his sister? That was surprising. Apparently, they were still friends, but in Lita’s experience, that tended to just be something that people said and was rarely the actual case. Although, she was seriously hoping that she and Sebastian could remain friends, even though their sexual relationship had ended.
Gabriel’s sisters were all blonde-haired and blue-eyed like he was, and the family resemblance was startling. Vanessa looked a little bit like Hayden because she was brunette and had brown eyes, but she wasn’t as obviously his sister as Gabriel’s sisters were to him.
Lita had seen photographs of all these women at some point in the past and probably could have named them if she’d given it some thought. She didn’t think she would let them know that, though. It was still amazing to her that she was involved with Cruise Control now.
“Hi everyone,” Lita murmured, and everyone gave her their greetings.
“Well, we should toast to the bride who has brought us here today,” Heather said. “Congratulations, Ariana. I know that you and Gabriel are going to be very happy together.”
Lita lifted her glass, as did everyone else around the table. As the toast finished, Heather’s phone went off with a text that, it turned out, was from Sebastian.
I meant what I said, Heather. Stay out of it. I need to talk to Lita.
Heather took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. She flipped her phone over on the table so that the screen was facing downward.
“Nope, he can call me ‘Heather’ all he wants; that text is bait, and I’m not taking it.”
“You know you’re in trouble when he doesn’t call you ‘lover,’” Ariana said with a grin.
“Which is basically never,” Heather grimaced.
“Okay, now I know this is old ground,” Ally said from next to Lita. “But the whole lover joke is still a thing? Do you not find it weird, Lita?”
Lita looked at Ally; she looked to be around the same age as Lita, had shoulder-length black hair, and light brown skin. Lita was curious about where she fit in this group, now that she’d split up with Hayden.