by Amanda LeMay
“Rule said it was time he chose a mate. And he wanted me. I laughed. Laughed right in his face. Ridiculous. The whole situation. That was our first meeting and he had already made up his mind. The Alpha of my pack wanted to mate with me. A dishonorable no one. The lowest of the low. And, oh, the smug look on my mother’s face. That’s when I realized what she’d done. All the grooming and preening she’d put me through my entire life had led up to that point.”
I sighed, feeling the hot burn of betrayal in my eyes.
“They...drugged my food that night. Even through the drugs, I remember what happened. Every second. I remember begging. I remember burning. I remember screaming.”
I closed my eyes as the memory crashed into me.
“Why are you doing this?”
“You are mine, Simone.”
A soft hand squeezed mine. “Simone, are you okay?”
Shuddering, I jerked back to the present.
“Yes, I’m okay.”
No. I’m not.
CHAPTER SIX
THE MUFFLED CALL OF a crowing rooster pulled me from sleep. I sighed as I opened my eyes expecting to see another sunrise, but, except for the blue glow from the clock on the nightstand that read 4:45, it was as dark as if it were still the middle of the night.
The rooster sounded off again.
Silly bird.
Over the last week, I’d grown used to a wild chorus of birds singing in the trees, waking me just as the sun illuminated the horizon.
And every morning, it took approximately ten seconds after waking for the weight of my situation to squeeze my heart and twist my insides.
This morning didn’t seem that much different, although I knew it was.
I rolled over and pressed my face into the pillow, choking back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm me again.
I’m safe now.
I can do this.
Eventually the sounds of the day beginning became a low, steady hum and I drifted back to sleep. The next time I opened my eyes, the sun had made its entrance through the narrow slits created by the window blinds.
Sitting up in bed, I examined my palms. Healed. Along with the soles of my feet. Strange, I’d never healed overnight.
I glanced up and surveyed my surroundings. The bedroom Maygan had given me for the night was considerably smaller than my bedroom back in the City. The bedroom I’d spent my entire life in was like an unchanging picture from a furniture store catalogue—other than the pale blue walls, pale hardwood floor, and beige area rug, the theme was white. All white. Clean, boring, and completely void of any personality, without even the pop of red from a throw pillow or lamp to break up the monotonous lack of color. It wasn’t me. It was my mother.
The warmth, color, and character of the bedroom I’d spent the night in reflected the personality of the people who lived here. High, wood-beamed ceiling, rough rock-covered walls, oak hardwood floor, and a queen bed so comfortable I didn’t want to move. The high-quality sheets and light, loose-weave burnt orange colored blanket had been perfect for the mild summer night. If I could, I’d stay right where I was, beneath the roof of a dwelling that was much more than just a house. This was a home. And this home protected me from harm, not only from outside, but from within, sheltering me in ways my mother’s mansion never had. Even the vibe of the house seemed calm, not uptight and sterile.
Animal sounds drifted in from the yard. I didn’t miss the sounds of cars and buses, sirens in the distance, or planes overhead.
I stood and studied my reflection in the mirror over the long dresser. The dark bands under my eyes had faded somewhat, though I still looked like someone lost. The T-shirt Maygan had provided carried the clean fragrance of laundry detergent, and of Dain. The fabric hung loose and baggy to my knees, with the shoulder seams touching my elbows. This simple shirt was a testament to the size of male who usually wore it—much larger than any male from my former pack, possibly even bigger than Rule.
But not as large as Gunner.
The thought of that male made my skin tingle.
I pulled on the yoga pants, used the bathroom, washed my face, finger-combed my ragged hair, and headed out the door and down the hallway.
I followed the sound of voices and the aroma of food as I passed through the house.
Everywhere were wedding decorations I hadn’t taken the time to notice the night before: burgundy and ivory garlands, bows, candles, and a stack of unwrapped presents off in one corner. Pale ivory flower arrangements, too numerous to count, perfumed the air and mixed with the aroma of food and the scent of wolves.
The entire house was homey, and decorated in what I thought of as rustic cabin style. The furniture was heavy solid wood and leather, nothing fancy or frilly. The living room spanned the entire front of the house. Windows framed both sides of the massive, stone fireplace.
Before I left home, before I ran out in the wilderness, I’d never seen so much uncluttered land. As far as I could see, there was only tall, green grass covering small, rolling hills that seemed to swell up here and there. In a few areas, small groupings of dark green shrubs tucked into the folds of land. Towering pines shaded the living room, but from inside, only their thick trunks and the bottom-most branches overshadowed the view of the pink-orange sky.
I wandered through the living room and into a larger dining area, where a huge oak table and eight matching chairs filled the space. The aromas from the kitchen were almost overwhelming: food, coffee, and wolves. Five distinctive wolf scents. It was an odd sensation to suddenly possess the ability to pick out each wolf in the room beyond. Did this new ability have something to do with running out in the wild, giving my wolf the freedom to experience life? Possibly. Maybe, breathing fresh air and surrounding myself with nature acted as a cleansing treatment.
Passing through the doorway, I found the rest of the household—Jessy, Dain, Maygan, Kern, and a male I hadn’t been introduced to the night before.
“Hey, Simone.” Jessy smiled and everyone else looked in my direction. “Good morning.”
I sucked in a breath. “Good morning.”
Smile. Look them in the eye. Smile again.
A strange, empty ache twisted my heart as I glanced around the room.
Where is Gunner?
I needed to see him—to talk to him—feel the comfort his presence brought me.
My mouth watered at how his scent lingered on the back of my tongue.
Someone spoke.
I glanced up as everyone stood, waiting for me to answer. “Excuse me?”
“Did you finally get some sleep?”
“What? Yes, yes. I’m sorry my brain is not working yet.” I rubbed my temple. “Thank you for—”
“Simone.” Kern spoke up, his face warm and sincere. “You don’t need to keep thanking us.”
I opened my mouth to respond when Maygan asked, “Would you like some breakfast? I’ve got bacon, and biscuits, and gravy. If you’d like a couple of eggs, I can do those, too.”
I started to shake my head no, but stopped. “Bacon?”
Bacon. Bacon wasn’t permitted in my mother’s house unless it was lightly sprinkled as a garnish.
I can eat what I want.
It was a liberating sensation, this freedom to choose when I ate, what I ate, where I ate, when to go to bed, when to get up.
“Yep, I had to guard it with my life, but yeah, there’s bacon.” Maygan laughed as everyone else in the kitchen smiled.
Real smiles.
“Yes, yes, thank you. Bacon sounds wonderful.”
In the next second, Maygan’s arms were around me in a quick hug, and before my brain registered her touch, she had moved away to the stove.
Not sure how to react, I stood staring at Maygan’s back, batting away the tears that stung my eyes. Her out-of-nowhere hug reminded me of my grandmother’s hugs, and though her hugs were always quick and secret, out of my mother’s view, I understood she cared about me.
And then she was gone.
After her death, I had melted into the scenery and made myself invisible. I did my job. I kept my interactions with others at a bare minimum. Even in my home, there were times I didn’t see my own mother for weeks.
I became a shadow.
If I was truly going to start a new life, I needed to be a better person—wolf—whatever. I wasn’t weak. Even though I had run from my pack, I didn’t believe it made me a coward. It was my new mission in life to strive to prove my honor and my loyalty to each wolf I came in contact with. I had no other choice but to put my full trust in those who’d so graciously opened their home to me.
And no one is ever going to hurt me again.
I looked at the huge male in the room, the one I hadn’t met yet. He looked so much like Dain, he could have been his older brother. Summoning my courage, I stepped forward and held out my hand.
“We haven’t been introduced. I’m Simone Mowbray.”
The male’s large hand engulfed mine and I shook it firmly. I held my breath as I waited for the strange nausea that twisted my stomach at the touch of Rule’s hand. But...it didn’t come.
“Arnou Louvel.” Dimples appeared in his cheeks, dimples identical to Dain’s. “Dain’s dad.”
Arnou Louvel. His hand was warm against mine and now that I had stepped closer, his scent was delightful—earthy, comforting—like the scent of the air just before it rained.
Still, I slowly pulled my hand from his and stepped back.
This male is Dain’s father?
I looked around the kitchen between Maygan and Kern and Arnou, and back to Maygan again. Then it hit me—the rounded belly I had noticed the night before—
“You’re pregnant.”
Maygan beamed, a beautiful pale rose blush filling her cheeks as her hands came together over her belly, one on top and one on the bottom, cradling the miracle hidden inside her body.
Strange. Kern stood smiling with his arm around her waist as he drank from his cup, but Arnou had introduced himself as Dain’s father. It was all too confusing.
“You have...two mates?”
Arnou chuckled while Kern shook his head vehemently, looking as if he were choking on his coffee.
“No, no.” Maygan reached up and patted Kern’s cheek as he coughed and sputtered. “One mate is all I can handle, thank you very much.”
“Long story.” Arnou laughed lightly, but he didn’t offer an explanation.
He clapped Dain on the shoulder, then reached out and pulled Jessy into a hug. “I’ve got to get on the road. I don’t know when I’ll get back around before the big day, but keep me posted, okay?”
“The big day?” I asked.
Kern set down his coffee cup and stood behind Maygan, moving his hands slowly up and down her round belly. “This big day.” He kissed her on the shoulder.
“Oh! The baby!” I smiled, even as a sudden rush of tears had me batting my eyelids. I would be gone before the birth. But...where would I go? Not back to San Francisco. I wouldn’t.
Kern’s lips touched two rows of freckles in opposing crescent shapes on Maygan’s neck. When he lifted his head, I noticed he had the same two lines of freckles though the crescent shapes were smaller. I glanced at Jessy and Dain. They both had the same strange, dark spots that almost resembled...a bite mark. The marks were so faint they were nearly unnoticeable, except now that I saw them, I couldn’t unsee them.
“I’m glad I got to meet you, Simone.”
Arnou interrupted my thoughts and I took the moment to look closely at his neck. There was nothing. No small, opposing crescent shapes.
“It was nice meeting you, too.”
“I’ll walk you out.” Dain followed his father out of the kitchen and, after Kern gave Maygan another kiss, he left as well.
“Have a seat, Simone, and let me get you some breakfast.”
“You don’t have to go to any trouble for me, really. I’ll just have yogurt, if that’s easier for you.”
“No trouble at all.”
Jessy laughed. “Besides, we rarely have yogurt in the house and when we do, it’s homemade and probably not at all what you’re used to,” Jessy said. “Tastes more like very tangy sour cream, but it’s fantastic with maple syrup or honey on top.”
“Whatever you have is fine.” I pulled out one of the big, wooden chairs, surprised by how heavy and sturdy it was. The kitchen table was thick and worn, but not rough to the touch. They must have enjoyed many meals here in this sunny kitchen. “Last night was the first time I’d eaten from a plate in seven days. By the way, everything was delicious.”
Both Maygan and Jessy stopped what they were doing and stared at me.
“You were on the run for seven days?” Jessy asked quietly.
“Yes.” I cringed at the thought of the little bit of raw, bloody meat and fur I had devoured to keep from starving, though, at the time, it had tasted wonderful. “I’d never hunted before, but I learned.” I sighed.
“Yeah, you’re a lot thinner than the last time I saw you.”
“I’m somewhat upset about that.” I laughed. “I seemed to have lost my hips and my butt and...” I looked down. My breasts were noticeably smaller than they’d been when I left San Francisco. Not that anyone was ever going to see them...or at least enjoy seeing them, ever again. “None of my clothes will...” I didn’t have any clothes. I’d left everything behind. I had nothing.
I will never make love again. I’ll never have offspring. I will never—
A ringing phone interrupted my internal dialogue, which was for the best. It would do me no good to dwell on all the things that had been taken from me and all I’d left behind because an Alpha wolf wanted to own me.
“Hello?” Maygan said. “Oh hey, Gunner...”
My heart stuttered.
“Yeah, Jessy and Dain will be driving her over pretty soon...yep...you bet. Try and get some rest, okay?” She listened to whatever he was saying while walking a few steps away. “You’ll have to find that out for yourself, but yes, it does go both ways.” Another pause, then, “She’s safe with us and if you don’t mind, I would suggest you have a long talk with Ralph or even Dain or Kern about...you know...what’s going on with you.” She said her goodbyes and ended the call.
“Can I ask a question?”
“Sure.” Jessy leaned back against the counter.
“What are those little marks on your neck, those crescent-shaped freckles?”
Both Jessy and Maygan touched their necks and smiled, and Jessy answered.
“Those are our mating marks. Come to think of it, I don’t remember seeing any of your pack with mating marks.”
“Mating marks?”
“Yeah. When a male is ready to commit to a relationship with a female, he bites her. It lets all other wolves know she’s spoken for. Of course, that doesn’t keep other males from trying to catch her attention, but it’s kind of an unspoken rule—don’t go messing around in another male’s territory.”
“Do males always do this when they’re interested in a female?”
“It’s more than just an interest. Marking a female is a male’s way of saying he loves you. It means he’s committed to you, ya know, like an engagement ring, but on your neck.”
“What if the female doesn’t feel the same?”
“Marking is not something males are driven to do just to get a female in the sack or something. It’s a sacred act, and they don’t feel the urge to mark unless the female has given some major sign that she’s pretty dang interested in him, too.”
“Do females ever initiate the biting?”
“Not usually. It’s more of a male-territorial thing. But once bitten, you can bet we bite back. Hard and often.” Jessy grinned.
“Simone, don’t members of your pack mark each other?” Maygan asked as she drew a plate from the cupboard.
“No. I do remember seeing the marks on other wolves—tourists—but no, no one in my pack has those bite marks.”
“Hmm...” Jessy shoo
k her head. “I remember thinking it was so odd that none of the City pack had marks or seemed to be mated.”
“Mating? No, there is no mating in my—that pack. It’s certainly not my pack any longer.” A strange sadness crept over me. “Except, that’s what Rule wanted. He wanted to mate with me and then...”
He branded me.
“I can never go back.”
“Simone, honey.” Maygan’s soft hand took mine and squeezed gently. “Everything is going to be fine. Our Alpha is a good male. He’ll do what’s best for you.”
“Gunner is a good male.” I knew it was true before I finished speaking the words. I’d known it the night before, by the way his presence affected me, how he comforted me and made me feel safe.
“Yep.” Maygan bit down on her bottom lip as if she wanted to say something more, but decided against it. She let go of my hand and smiled. “You’re going to be just fine.”
Well, I would certainly be better off than I would’ve been had I stayed in San Francisco, so that was something. And getting to see Gunner again would be...nice.
Fantastic.
Jessy washed up the few dishes in the sink, set them to drain on the counter, then dried them with a towel while Maygan opened the door on the huge, old-fashioned-style oven. I watched as she lit a burner and stirred something in a small pot she placed over the flame. The smell of warm food began to fill the room and my stomach ached from hunger. Maygan stood with her hip pressed to the counter, her hand caressing the swell of her belly.
“I’ve never seen a brand new baby. In my...” I shook my head as I caught myself. “Not mine.” I huffed. “All the offspring born to the pack are kept away safe until they’re old enough to fully control their shifting abilities.”
Maygan looked back at me while she gently stirred a wooden spoon around the small pot. “We keep our offspring away from humans for the most part, but only until they’re about three, by then they’ve got the involuntary shifting down, no problem.”