The Colossus of Roads

by Christina Uss

  ALSO BY CHRISTINA USS

  THE ADVENTURES OF A GIRL CALLED BICYCLE

  Margaret Ferguson Books

  Copyright © 2020 by Christina Uss

  All rights reserved

  HOLIDAY HOUSE is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

  Printed and bound in March 2020 at Maple Press, York, PA, U.S.A.

  First Edition

  1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Uss, Christina, author.

  Title: The Colossus of Roads / Christina Uss.

  Description: First edition. | New York : Holiday House, [2020]

  Audience: Ages 9–12. | Audience: Grades 5–6. | Summary: Eleven-year-old Rick Rusek, nearly homebound by motion sickness, wants to help his family’s catering business by unsnarling Los Angeles traffic, but first he must help a Girl Scout troop with an art project.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2019025604 | ISBN 9780823444502 (hardcover)

  Subjects: CYAC: Family life—California—Los Angeles—Fiction.

  Traffic congestion—Fiction. | Motion sickness—Fiction. | Scouting (Youth activity)—Fiction. | Los Angeles (Calif.)—Fiction.

  Classification: LCC PZ7.1.U86 Col 2020 | DDC [Fic]—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019025604

  CONTENTS

  Cover

  Also by Christina Uss

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Cheeseburgers! Yes!

  Do the Right Thing

  Not Just for Ducts

  The Best Driver in LA

  If You Can Dream It, You Can Do It

  You’ll Be Safe with Me

  Speed Limit Unicorn

  Focus on the Happy Things in Life

  Not Your Only Talent

  SPLAT

  How Many Abuelitas Are There?

  Lying Down Is Not Colossal

  Cue the Heroic Music

  She Could Yell a Lot

  Let the Brainstorm Flow

  The Future Belongs to Those Who Believe

  Author’s Food Note

  Author’s Road Sign Note

  Acknowledgments

  To kids in backseats everywhere, who wonder if their talents matter

  CHEESEBURGERS! YES!

  RICK RUSEK’S STOMACH grumbled, trying to get his attention. He ignored it and sat back on his heels, gazing at the rectangle of heavy-gauge aluminum on his bedroom floor. The sign looked a lot better now that he’d swabbed it in the bathtub with some wet paper towels. He admired its clean lines, black words bold and solid against the candy-corn-orange background:

  ROAD WORK NEXT 5 MILES

  It was Wednesday night, and his radio played the all-weather all-traffic station on low volume. He listened with half an ear to reports of cars clogging Los Angeles freeways and desert winds sweeping toward the Pacific Ocean.

  Rick had never been to the beach, even though the California coast was only thirty miles from his home, but the constant noise of cars driving by outside his window was what he imagined ocean waves sounded like. That is, if the ocean’s rhythmic whoosh-shoosh got punctuated by the occasional shark on a thundering motorcycle, or by dolphins booming bass-heavy hip-hop.

  He flipped the sign over and studied the back. A two-foot-long chunk of the metal pole that had originally held it up was still attached with thick, rusty nuts and bolts. Rick carefully ran a finger over the ridges of one bolt. Once upon a time, all these bits of steel had been shiny and the sign had been new. “How long has it been since you’ve gotten to do your job, sign?” he murmured. “I bet you didn’t like lying in the dirt instead of telling cars what’s coming.”

  The squeak and groan of the front door opening startled Rick out of his one-sided conversation. He shot a glance at the clock. Dad was the latest he’d ever been. Rick usually stayed with his next-door neighbors, the Herreras, after school, until Mom or Dad came to get him. Their town house shared a wall with his town house. But the Herreras had plans that evening, so when his dad had called to let them know he was going to be late, he’d told Rick to walk home, lock the door, and wait. He’d suggested that since Rick was eleven now, it could be considered one of his trial runs of Pre-Teen Responsibility, a phrase both parents had been using a lot lately. Rick had taken a slight detour to collect the sign from an empty lot near his house.

  Dinner! Rick’s stomach burbled. Finally!

  “I’m home!” his father called. The sound of steps and jingling car keys headed toward the kitchenette.

  “In my room, Dad!” Rick replied, standing up. The steps and jingling moved upstairs and became a knock and a turning doorknob.

  “Hey there.” Dad came in and gave Rick a one-armed hug, his scruffy sideburns rubbing against Rick’s ear. “Sorry I didn’t get home sooner, but it was a rough day to drive the Five.” “The Five,” short for the 5 Freeway, was one of a dozen long, slow-moving freeways that could turn nightmarish at rush hour. Rick’s mom and dad ran a catering business delivering gourmet Polish food around Los Angeles. Navigating traffic was as much a part of their job as cooking tasty food. “The traffic made us late setting up a lunch buffet, then late delivering for a dinner event. Mom’s still finishing the prep work for tomorrow’s cooking. She’ll be home with the delivery van…oh, sometime before next week, if we’re lucky.”

  Dad noticed the ROAD WORK sign amid the shorts and socks on the floor. “Found something else? Kiddo, Mom’s not going to be impressed with your level of Pre-Teen Responsibility when you’re bringing home more roadside junk.”

  “Dad, this is not roadside junk,” Rick said, turning the sign right-side up. Bringing this home was nothing like bringing the broken traffic light lens he’d found last week. “This is a high-intensity prismatic sign with corrosion-resistant engineering-grade metal and everything. It needed someone to care about it.”

  “And that just had to be you, huh?” Dad sat down heavily on Rick’s bed. “Well, maybe you can tell me more while we have some dinner. Oh no, dinner!” Dad groaned and rubbed his eyes with the palms of both hands. “I was supposed to stop by the supermarket on the way home. We haven’t got anything in the house to eat except leftover cabbage rolls. I don’t think I can even look at another cabbage roll.”

  “They wouldn’t be my first choice, either,” said Rick. Mom and Dad’s catering business was called Smotch, the first syllable from the Polish word Smacznego, which means “Enjoy your meal!” in Polish, like Bon appétit does in French. (Mom explained that smacz rhymed with watch and nego rhymed with Lego to non–Polish speakers.) Mom had started the business five years ago, and it was a hit. She was known for the wonderful meals she made from scratch and delivered the same day she prepared them. Soon she had so many orders, she rented space in an industrial kitchen in their neighborhood. Dad had decided to quit working as a graphic designer to help her prepare and deliver her kielbasas (smoked sausages), pierogi (pasta pockets filled with everything from potatoes and cheese to blueberries), cabbage rolls stuffed with meat and rice, creamy mushrooms, cucumber salad, spicy horseradish sauce, and especially her soft rye bread.

  Los Angeles was a big place, spanning five hundred square miles. Mom and Dad fed hungry folks all over the area, from their not-so-fancy suburb in the arid San Fernando Valley to swanky places like Beverly Hills and Marina del Rey. With so much time spent cooking and driving, the Rusek family often ended up eating leftovers. None of them liked eating Polish food anywhere near as much as they had before the business took off.

  “What’ll we do? We don’t even have bread or eggs,” Dad said. “Pretty sure we have some canned beets…or…” He trailed off, looking at Rick’s walls as if some a
ppetizing inspiration might jump out. “Say, did you put up some more maps?”

  “Yep,” Rick said proudly. “Figured out a bunch more ways to fix traffic patterns.” Over the past few years, he’d thumbtacked dozens of multicolored map pages from a spiral-bound LA street atlas to his walls. Under each map he’d taped a piece of graph paper filled with precisely penciled grids, arrows, and measurements. He called these his Snarl Solutions, his unique ideas about how to improve traffic flow. Rick tried hard to make them look like they’d been crafted by a professional traffic engineer.

  It was the most fun hobby: he’d trace a route on a map from his atlas, then use his computer to examine it up close on Google Street View, where a few clicks of his mouse allowed him to spin in 360 degrees as if he were standing in the middle of any street or freeway in the city. (His second-grade teacher had introduced Rick and the other students to this online tool so they could “visit” neighborhoods in countries like Mexico, Germany, and South Korea.) Rick traveled the streets of LA from the comfort of his bedroom, saw what road signs were already there, and then recorded his ideas on how they could be better. He had the sense that little changes, like lowering or increasing the speed limit or shifting the location of a sign by a couple of feet so drivers could see it sooner, would have a big impact. Too bad he’d never been able to see if his theories worked.

  “Huh. I guess it’s like wallpaper telling our family history through streets and freeways,” Dad mused. The few places Rick had been driven to in LA, plus every place his parents had delivered food, were on these walls. Since he was six, he and his dad had sat down at the dining room table to map out the best route to every new delivery location. Rick wished he could be as useful as his much-older twin brothers, Aleks and Thomas, who’d helped with cooking, delivering, serving, plus watching Rick, before they’d moved out last year to attend college, but Dad insisted Rick’s contribution was just as important. Both brothers were studying at UCLA, living in the dorms and working on-campus jobs, so they were too busy to visit home often.

  “There’s just something about printed maps,” his dad was saying now. “You can trust a paper map. They don’t print it unless they’re sure it’s right. Our darn GPS always wants me to turn right into people’s houses or turn left off cliffs.” Ignoring the graph-paper grids, he pointed to one map. “I remember here in Hollywood when we catered the premiere for that movie about Marie Curie. And this map shows city hall, where the palm trees dropped fronds into the bowl of mushrooms. And here’s your old school. The Ruseks—a family history measured in mileage!” He stood studying the maps until Rick’s stomach let out a loud growl: Forgetting dinner?

  Dad rubbed his eyes again. “What would you eat right now if you could?”

  “Anything but cabbage rolls, really,” Rick said. His stomach gurgled in 100 percent agreement.

  “If only I could teleport us to In-N-Out Burger for Double-Double cheeseburgers,” his dad said dreamily.

  Cheeseburgers! Rick’s stomach called out. Yes! Let’s go now!

  “Cheeseburgers! Yes! Let’s go now!” Rick repeated without thinking.

  Dad grimaced and said, “Oh, kiddo.” Rick knew that meant no. Rick’s motion sickness had ruled his family’s life since he was a toddler. No medication had yet been able to cure it, so his parents drove him places only when it was strictly necessary. His family knew every restaurant within a four-mile radius that offered delivery, but they never ate at them in person. (Rick’s new gastroenterologist had called his nausea “intervention-resistant” and half-jokingly recommended they consider moving to a city with no cars, like Venice, Italy. “But don’t they use boats there?” Mom had wailed. “What about seasickness?”)

  In-N-Out did not deliver. “Maybe I should pick up an order and bring it home?” Dad said without enthusiasm. “Too bad takeout doesn’t do In-N-Out’s food justice.” The drive there and back was long enough that burgers arrived home cold, congealed, and sad. “Nah, let’s forget cheeseburgers and order Chinese.” He scrolled through his contacts on his phone and tapped the number. “Delivery, please. What? That’s too long a wait for us, thanks anyway.” He tried the Indian place and found out their delivery person’s car had broken down. Then he called the Pizza Shoppe. “Hello? Yes, we’d like a large half-pepperoni, half-pineapple for delivery. How long will it take?” Dad mouthed an hour and a half at Rick while rolling his eyes. “I guess it is what it is,” he said, giving their address.

  After he hung up, Rick and Dad shared a hungry, disappointed look. Dad said, “I can’t believe how busy these places are in the middle of the week.”

  “Maybe you could call Mom and ask her to bring something home?” Rick suggested.

  Dad shook his head. “It’s been such a tough day for both of us, I don’t want to ask her to do one more thing. Besides, she might not get here any earlier than the pizza.”

  Usually, Rick’s stomach encouraged staying home and waiting for delivery, but tonight it was acting strange. It started repeating cheeseburgers cheeseburgers cheeseburgers like a sacred chant.

  There’s no way, Rick told it. Shush.

  His stomach paused its chanting and said, But cheeseburgers. Maybe try the breathing thing? The gastroenterologist had given Rick a deep-breathing technique that she said might help. Rick had been to a lot of doctors, and this new one had some pretty odd ideas.

  If his stomach was game, Rick was willing. “Dad—what if we don’t give up on In-N-Out that easily? Remember the deep-breathing exercise the doctor suggested? I can give it a shot,” he said.

  Dad perked up. “Do you think it could work?” Rick could see parental concern fighting with burger cravings on his father’s face.

  “We won’t know until we try,” Rick said. He dug out the paper from the doctor describing what to do from his desk drawer. “And if it does, cheeseburgers.”

  CHEESEBURGERS! his stomach shouted.

  Dad took Rick’s right hand in both of his own and shook it solemnly. “You’re a brave young man. And I’m a hungry dad. And like you said, we won’t know until we try.” Dad called to cancel the pizza and they headed downstairs to the carport.

  Rick opened the back door of his dad’s old Jeep, repeating the breathing sequence to himself under his breath. In-two-three-four, hold-two-three-four, out-two-three-four. He was supposed to pinch closed alternating nostrils on the ins and outs. It was complicated.

  Dad smiled nervously into the rearview mirror and turned on the ignition. “Right. We’re doing this. Seize the day.”

  The car reversed onto Foothill Boulevard. Rick rolled his window halfway down and breathed in to the count of four. He kept doggedly breathing and counting, but at the first intersection, he had to grab a double-reinforced airsickness bag from the thick wad tucked into the seat pocket in front of him. His parents ordered them in bulk on the internet.

  Why are you breathing so slowly? his stomach blorped at him. Is this the breathing exercise? Need more oxygen! Not going to make it! Then it made a sound like a herd of unhappy moose bellowing Nooooo.

  Rick ditched the exercises, gulped in air, and started focusing his attention out the window as hard as he could on the street signs and how the cars around them were driving. He invited his mind to try to solve traffic puzzles instead of worrying over the disastrous things happening inside his body. His dad looked at him in the rearview mirror and pulled into a hardware store parking lot nowhere near their destination.

  “This was a mistake,” Dad said. “We’re going to park here until you feel better, and then we’re going back home.”

  Rick didn’t respond because he couldn’t. While they waited, his dad called the Pizza Shoppe to reinstate their order. Once his stomach had quieted somewhat, he signaled Dad in the rearview mirror. Dad pulled out carefully and Rick concentrated extra-hard on the road signs, begging his digestive system to give him a break.

  I can’t help my gut reactions, his stomach argued. Your part of the deal is not to put me in these situati
ons.

  You were the one chanting about cheeseburgers! Rick answered. You said we should try the breathing techniques!

  You know I’m an organ of your body and I only talk in your imagination, right? his stomach said. My bad choices belong to both of us.

  Back home, Rick crawled onto the couch and whimpered. Dad laid a cool, wet washcloth across his forehead and placed a cup of water from the kitchen sink within Rick’s reach. “What was I thinking?” he said. “I’m so sorry. Guess deep breathing is yet another cure that doesn’t work for you.”

  Rick waved vaguely.

  Dad said, “Maybe we don’t tell your mother about this? She’d kill me.”

  Rick gave him a thumbs-up. If he could help it, he didn’t want more than one parent hovering over him. He lay in ruins for a while. When he was ready to speak, he croaked, “Can you tell me about the traffic problems you had on the way home?”

  “Oh, son, how about we leave traffic discussions for another day?” Dad said, taking a container of cabbage rolls out of the refrigerator. He stuck his tongue out at them and slid them back into the fridge.

  Rick reluctantly pulled his mind away from the tantalizing riddle of his dad’s drive home. Dad always said he appreciated Rick’s help with mapping delivery routes, but both he and especially Mom treated Rick’s passion for studying traffic patterns as a strange phase Rick was bound to outgrow, like when he’d insisted on wearing a Spider-Man mask to bed.

  Understanding traffic wasn’t the same as loving a Spider-Man mask. Rick distinctly remembered when he’d started getting carsick on the way to day care near Dad’s work as a little kid. Even before he could recite his ABCs without forgetting the whole section between Q and W, he understood that the road signs said important things that made a difference to how the cars moved. Staring out the window to study the cars and signs took his mind off the nausea.

  That was when we started talking, his stomach reminded him. Rick told his stomach how he thought different road signs might make the traffic move better. Having those conversations seemed to calm it down. And one time, I said maybe you’d been bitten by a radioactive spider and this was your resulting superpower. And then you wore your Spider-Man mask to bed every night, his stomach added. Okay, so the two things were related. But he’d outgrown one. The other one grew with him, like his skin.