by Grace, Aria
As the crowd begins to head toward the trailer, I gesture to some of the waiting farm staff to go take care of things. They’ve been working with me long enough to know what to do in situations like this. Customer service has always been the farm’s top priority after all.
I stop for a moment to take a breather. I’m still running on an adrenaline high from my near fist fight with the pissed off alpha. Now that the situation is defused, my top priority is Scotty.
When I turn to look for him, he’s gone. My heart rate spikes again, and I spin in place, searching for him. The worst thoughts jump to mind even though I’ve only lost sight of him for a second. Of course, it would make sense for him to find somewhere to cool off after an encounter like that. Anyone would have been stressed out by the verbal assault, but even if none of what the other alpha said was true, dealing with an ex-boyfriend like that would’ve been a nightmare.
I catch sight of Rubin and give him a questioning look. He meets my gaze and shakes his head sadly. He nods toward the parking lot and points to his car.
By the time I see it, it’s already backing out of its parking spot.
“He’s leaving?” I can barely believe my eyes. “Why would he do that?” I press my hand to my chest and force myself to take a deep breath. I don’t want him to leave. I want to hold him in my arms, soothe his fears and listen to him as he tells me his worries. Whatever’s going through his mind right now, it’s not logical.
“What happened? Who was that jackass?” I demand, whirling on Rubin a little more forcefully than I should have.
Rubin holds up his hands innocently. “Honestly, I don’t know. That guy, I guess his name was Joel, noticed Scotty and just started slinging accusations. You probably heard as much as I did.” He sighs and shakes his head. “After you came and chased him off, Scotty found me and asked for my keys. I thought he just wanted to go sit in the car to calm down in private. I didn’t think he was gonna take off like that.”
“Did he look upset?” I push a hand through my hair and peer in the direction Rubin’s car took off in.
“He looked like he was trying not to cry,” Rubin admits quietly. “I don’t know what he was thinking for sure, but it looked like those accusations really got to him.”
“He’s got to know I don’t believe them.” I fold my arms across my chest and frown as I try to think of what to do next. “Where do you think he’s going?”
“Probably back to Omega House.” Rubin shrugs. “He told me before he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. I’m pretty sure he’s not originally from around here.”
I turn away and being marching toward the trailer. Once I grab my keys and my wallet, I’ll be on the road in less than five minutes. I don’t want Scotty out there alone for any longer than necessary.
“Where are you going?” Rubin calls after me.
Something in his tone makes me stop short, surprised he’d even ask such a stupid question. I whirl around to face him and try not to bark at him just because I’m frustrated. “I’m going after Scotty, obviously. If he’s upset, then I’ve got to talk to him.”
“So, what’s your plan? You gonna march into a safe house for battered omegas and demand he speak to you?” Rubin folds his arms across his chest and shakes his head disapprovingly. “You’re only going to make things worse if you do something like that.”
“But…” I can’t think of anything else to say as my righteous fury begins to ebb away. and all I’m left with is an icy chill that settles so deeply in my bones I don’t think it will ever go away. “I need to talk to him…”
“Look, for now, just give him some space, okay?” Rubin looks just as concerned for his friend as I am so it’s easier for me to accept his advice. “It’s clear that Scotty got spooked pretty badly. Just let him have a little time to process everything. You stood up for him, and that’s sure to go a long way toward helping him move past this incident. I’ll talk to him tonight and try to get him to call you or something.”
I clench and unclench my hands several times. The frustration is almost unbearable, but I know Rubin is right. I don’t want to let Scotty go off on his own, but maybe he does need a little bit of privacy to think things through.
But fuck, it hurts. It’s already hard enough to be away from him, but to be away from him while he’s in pain is almost too much to handle.
“Besides…he might have run off because he’s worried about your reaction to those accusations.” Rubin shrugs as if trying to make me feel better, but it’s definitely not. “I know I’d be worried if I’d been accused of embezzlement in front of the guy I’m dating who also happens to be my boss.”
“But Scotty knows I would never—” I stop short and cock my head slightly to one side. There’s no way Scotty could have done something like that here, could he? Just because he’s been more involved in the farm over the last few weeks doesn’t mean anything. But then again, he’s handled the payments for more than a few trees, and we deal mostly in cash transactions. It wouldn’t be hard for him to charge full price for a tree and then write down a smaller size in the ledger while pocketing the difference.
I swallow hard as my thoughts begin to run away from me. Maybe that’s why he was reluctant to move in with me. I wouldn’t want to live under the same roof as someone I was stealing from either.
“No…” I clench my hands into white knuckled fists and try to convince Rubin as much as myself that I’ve got nothing to worry about. “He’s not that kind of person. Whatever happened with Scotty and that guy…I’m sure he’s got an explanation for it. Frankly, I don’t care. I trust Scotty completely, and I won’t let some jackass with a grudge do anything to change that.”
52
Scotty
I was an idiot to run off like that, but at the time, I felt trapped. Now that I’m back at Omega House, all I can think about is how badly I screwed up. I lay on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. There’s no way I can ever go back there, not after everything that happened today.
“You could have at least given me a warning that you were gonna jack my car.” Rubin sounds a little annoyed as he pushes open the door to our room and folds his arms across his chest. “I had to catch a bus back here. A bus!”
I chew my lip as I sit up and keep my eyes focused on the toes of my boots. “I’m sorry. Really, I am. I actually hadn’t planned on running off like that but…everything was going wrong.”
“Scotty, seriously…” Rubin sighs and drops onto the edge of his bed across from me. “There is nothing worse than riding public transportation as an omega dressed like this.” He holds out his arms and poses until I look up at him. He’s still wearing his elf costume, and I realize with a pang of guilt that his jacket was still in the backseat of the car. He didn’t have anything to help disguise the fact that he was dressed up as one of Santa’s little helpers.
“Rubin, I’m so sorry. I swear I’ll make it up to you.” My face contorts in anguish. This day just keeps getting worse and worse.
“What are you talking about?” Rubin grins then digs in his pocket and pulls out his phone. “Everyone kept stopping me to take pictures!” He swipes through his phone and shows me a series of photos featuring him and random people I’ve never seen before. “Then this guy…” He swipes to a photo of him and a rather photogenic looking alpha. “He asked for my number.”
I look up at him, and to my surprise, Rubin is blushing from ear to ear.
“We’re going out for drinks tomorrow after I’m done at the tree farm.” Rubin is downright giddy as he stares at the photo.
“That’s great!” I’m a little baffled by the sudden change in mood, but I’m happy for him nonetheless. “Maybe I should borrow your car more often then…”
“Yeah, no. This all worked out for the best, but I really loathe riding the bus. Please don’t put me through that again.” Rubin grimaces and shakes his head as he puts away the phone.
“I’m just glad you met someone.”
“I don’
t know if it’ll turn into anything serious, but it’s nice to be asked out.” Rubin looks a little sheepish as he glances at me. “Anyway, that’s not really important right now. What matters is that you took off and left us in a bit of a rut at the tree farm. Nick and I had to finish the photos without you.”
“Y-yeah…sorry about that.” I rub the back of my head and once again avert my eyes.
“The photos themselves aren’t important, Scotty. What’s important is that we were both really worried when you just took off. What happened to you?”
I close my eyes and turn away from him, really wishing he’d just leave me alone for now. I don’t want to talk about the tree farm or any of the shit that happened today. Talking about it won’t change anything.
“I know it’s probably personal, but that’s exactly why you need to open up to someone. If you keep all your troubles bottled up, then you’re never going to get any peace. You’ll just be walking around like a ticking time bomb, waiting to go off at the worst possible moment.” Rubin’s being a lot more insightful than usual. It’s kinda freaking me out.
“I don’t even know where to begin.” I sigh at the lame excuse, but I’ve got to tell him something and I don’t know what else to say. Rubin’s probably one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and he’s done nothing but look out for me since I arrived at Omega House. I don’t want to keep secrets from him, especially not after the scene I caused at the tree farm today.
“Right, well…why don’t you start with who that asshole was?”
Rubin rarely swears so I know he’s concerned. I look up at him in surprise, but don’t say anything right away.
"He… Well, his name is Joel, and he was my alpha before I came to Omega House.” The answer seems innocent enough, but just saying it aloud makes my stomach clench. It feels like boulders are rolling around in my gut as I continue. “I was one of four omegas dating him at the time. He’s always got this harem around him…”
“I saw.” Rubin raises an eyebrow, saving me from having to explain any further.
“Right…well…I’m not really proud of it. I know he was just after me because he thought I looked hot. But he wasn’t bad looking, he had a lot of money, and he was willing to take care of me and keep me off the streets. He was the lesser of two evils at the time.” I bite my lip until I taste something metallic. “It’s easy to look back and see that I was just making excuses at the time. Taking the easy way out because I was scared to be alone. Being with Joel was just a way to keep myself from facing the truth.”
I clutch the edge of the bed and will myself to continue. I’ve never actually had to put any of this into words before, and it’s a lot more difficult than I was expecting.
“What truth?” Rubin coaxes me gently.
“That I’m just a useless waste of oxygen whose only function is to make my alpha look good.” A lump is already forming in my throat, and my eyes are itchy as I blink back the tears threatening to form.
“That’s not true, hon.” Rubin reaches across the gap between our beds and lays a hand on my knee. “You’re not useless, and anyone who told you that is an utter fucking moron.”
“Fuck… Rubin, you don’t get it,” I gasp in frustration but resist the urge to knock his hand away. He’s just trying to look out for me and make me feel better. “I was one blowjob away from being homeless the entire time I was with him. The only reason I’m not still with him is because he eventually kicked me out.”
Hot tears spill down my cheeks, and I rub them away angrily. “He kicked me out because he found someone he liked better, and he didn’t want the added stress of caring for five omegas instead of four. So, I stole a bunch of money from him on my way out.”
“Sounds like he deserved it.” Rubin snorts indignantly but doesn’t judge me the way I’m expecting.
“It doesn’t matter if he did or not. I still stole from him. I’m still a homeless omega who was so desperate to get off the streets that I hopped into bed with the first alpha I saw who wasn’t already claimed.” I clutch my hand to my chest and try to soothe the ache in my heart. “I even fucking convinced myself that Nick and I were fated mates.”
“Scotty, you’re being too hard on yourself. You can’t honestly think Nick is anything like Joel.” Rubin sounds frustrated, and I don’t blame him. He probably thinks I’m being insane right now. But I’m not. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been saner.
“No, you’re right. Nick is nothing like Joel. He’s kind, cares about his family, works hard, and tries to make sure the people in his life are treated well.” I sigh as I list off just a few of the virtues Nick possesses. “I’m the one who’s a mess. I’m taking advantage of him, Rubin. He asked me to move in with him, and we barely know each other! He’s too good of a person, and I’m…I’m not.”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous.” Rubin rises from his bed and moves to sit beside me. “You said you thought you were fated mates. That’s a big deal, and it’s not a conclusion most people would come to without some sort of proof.”
“I don’t know anymore.” I lean forward with my elbows on my thighs and my face firmly planted in my palms. “I thought what I was feeling for him was different for a reason. Now, I’m not even sure that what I’m feeling is real. Maybe I’m just picking up on what he’s feeling. Maybe…maybe it was those crappy, cheap suppressants I was using.” I shake my head and throw up my hands in frustration. “For all I know, this was one of those phantom heat cycles because the suppressants weren’t fully doing their job.”
“If that were the case, then every alpha you’ve interacted with would’ve been all over you,” Rubin points out sagely. “Besides, I’ve heard stories about omegas coming into their heat for their fated mate despite being on suppressants.”
“Well, then I guess I’m screwed no matter what.” I flop back onto the bed in defeat. “I’ve done nothing but take advantage of Nick’s kindness, and now I’m probably pregnant by him as well. What better way to get a kind, family-oriented alpha on the hook for the rest of his life? I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”
“Scotty…you’re not a bad person.” Rubin pulls me up into a reassuring hug. “You haven’t been taking advantage of Nick. You were falling for him. Anyone with eyes can see that in the way you two look at each other. If you just come back with me in the morning, you can talk to him yourself.”
I push myself away from Rubin and retreat across the room. “No, I can’t go back to the tree farm.”
“Scotty—”
“No, Rubin. There’s no way I can go back there and face him. Not after everything that happened.” With every word I say, my heart is breaking into a million tiny pieces. Is this really happening? Am I really never gonna see Nick again? “Even if you’re right and I didn’t take advantage of him, he still knows I stole from Joel.”
“Just tell him what you told me.” Rubin throws his arms up in frustration too. I hate being so stubborn, but I can’t give in on this one. “He’ll understand. Honestly, he’ll probably be grateful you did because it brought you to him.”
“Are you kidding? I should just tell him that if he ever dumps me, there’s a good possibility I’ll vindictively steal a couple thousand dollars from the business that he uses to support his aging parents?” I grip my hair in my fists and tug in frustration, not sure how things could have gone from so great to so terrible in just a few hours. “No, there’s no way I’m going back there. I can’t have that conversation with him.”
Rubin sighs and rises from the bed with a look of defeat in his eyes.
“Whatever you decide to do is up to you.” He pats my shoulder as he moves toward the door. “I can’t force you to do anything, and apparently, I can’t talk any sense into you either.”
“This is the right call.” I clear my throat and try to assert myself as more clear-headed and rational than I’m actually feeling. Maybe if I say it enough times, I’ll start to believe it.
“Sure, keep telling yourself
that,” Rubin says sadly. “If you come to your senses, you’re still welcome to go to work with me in the morning. I’m heading down for dinner.” Without another word, he shuffles out into the hall.
As soon as he leaves the room, I stumble to my bed and collapse back onto it. There’s nothing anyone can say to me right now that’s going to make me feel better. I know I’m worthless, Joel drilled that into my head enough times when we were together there’s no way I’ll ever forget it.
My mistake was allowing myself to think I had value in the eyes of someone else. Nick’s a good person but he’s way too trusting. He probably does value me in some way, and that was his first mistake. His second was letting me know just how valuable I was by asking me to move in with him.
He must regret ever meeting me. He’s probably counting his silverware right now just to make sure I didn’t steal any on my way out. Obviously, he’ll never be able to trust me now and I can’t even consider facing him. Just seeing the look of disgust and distrust on his face will kill me. It’s better to make a clean break. This way, he doesn’t have to make excuses for why it’s over. And I don’t have to pretend I’m cool with ending things the way we are.
Going back to the tree farm would just be subjecting myself and Nick to a lot of unnecessary pain. As long as I stay at Omega House, I can avoid all that. That’s why I came here in the first place, isn’t it? I needed to get away from a troublesome past, and they helped me with that. If I have to start from zero anywhere in the world, this is probably the best place for me to be.
Thankfully at least part of me was conscious enough of my own deviousness to keep me from moving into Nick’s house. Walking away after playing house for a few weeks would be so much harder than this.
A moment passes, and my hand absently moves to my abdomen. Tears spring to my eyes and begin running down my cheeks as I realize this might be such a clean break after all. What if I’m pregnant? I don’t even know if I’m capable of love anymore. Besides, how am I supposed to raise a child while I’m living in a shelter? If I have to take care of a baby, then getting a job is almost certainly out of the question.