Fight The Peace

by S T Branton

It didn’t.

  “Uhh…” I muttered while waiting for the blade to return and noting it most certainly wasn’t. Sound in the room seemed to disappear, and I peeked my head up over the table to look. I couldn’t believe what I saw.

  A collection of small, green, scaly creatures sat in the center of the room, their yellow eyes focused on one of the fairies. Two fairies lay on the floor with bright pink blood flowing from their bodies. The third Fae was nailed to the wall, the boomerang buried deep in her neck and pinning her to the plaster, her hands still on the bow and arrow she recently tried to stop my heart with.

  As if on a cue, the reptilians all turned their heads toward me. Tentatively, I raised my hand and gave them a little wave.

  “Hey, I’m here to rescue you. Name’s Sara Slick,” I introduced myself.

  There was a moment of temporary silence as the reptilian creatures blinked at me. Then…pandemonium.

  High-pitched screaming and chaos filled the room as the reptilians realized the person who claimed to be saving them was the infamous Sara Slick. Perhaps rehabilitating my name one rescue at a time wasn’t the most effective means of self-promotion. I tried to shush them but realized pretty quickly I would have to let them scream it out. Hopefully, no new fairies were on their way, and the trolls remained exactly as dumb as I hoped they were.

  “Everybody shut the hell up,” I yelled and threw my hands in the air to get their attention. The room went silent as they stared at me, their weird little lizard mouths open.

  “I didn’t say anything,” Archie hissed. There was a few seconds’ pause. “It’s Archie.”

  “She wasn’t talking to you. She was talking to the screaming lizard people,” Ally corrected him.

  “Oh, yeah, that makes sense. An awful racket in there. I hope no one else heard,” he muttered.

  “Me too,” Ally responded. “Could attract all sorts of bad guys.”

  “For the love of all that is holy…” I grumbled, then turned my attention back to the lizard people and cleared my throat. “I need everyone to chill! I’m trying to get you out of here, but I need you to be quiet and helpful, please! Thank you.”

  A cascade of reptilian eyes blinked at me as I held my hands in the air, waiting for them to stop moving.

  “Ok, good. That’s good. Now, give me one second.”

  I walked to the Fae impaled on the wall and removed the boomerang. When the body fell to the floor, there was an audible gasp from the lizards. I couldn’t help but smirk. Fear of what I could do might be helpful. Might keep them docile enough I could escape with them. Now all I had to do was get them past the two trolls and into the elevator.

  At least, I hoped the elevator could fit all of them. There were about twenty, but they were small, so, hey, this could work out. I turned around, my grin getting bigger as I tried out the lines in my head of what to say to get them to follow me.

  Suddenly, as if the boat had finally undocked, it shifted. A loud horn filled the air around us. The lights flickered.

  More pandemonium.

  After a few minutes of corralling the ugly things and trying to explain to Ally and Archie what had happened, I stood at the door again. The room was quiet once more, and I drew a deep breath. As long as I opened the door and the trolls were still standing in the hallway, or even better, had left, I was good. I turned the knob and pulled.

  Instead of an empty wall in front of me, my eyes went directly into those of a new, larger, and angry-looking troll. He stood, his jaw open and his arm reaching for the knob which I had pulled away from him. Behind him stood a new creature. I slammed the door and put my back to it.

  “Uhh… Archie. What’s seven feet tall, has glowing red eyes, and carries a scythe?” I asked hurriedly.

  “Slick, its Archie. I don’t think now is the time for riddles,” he chastised.

  “It’s not a fucking riddle!” I exclaimed as the door behind me thunked. The troll would break through any second, and my tiny-ass body wouldn’t be enough to hold them out. I had to think quick. “It’s a…a…a thing. Outside the door. Presently trying to kill me.”

  “Oh, well, that’s not good,” he commented.

  “No shit, Archie.”

  “Well, it could be a demon. Might be a Moloch. Did it have big horns and a snout?”

  “I didn’t pay that close attention, Archie. I think it might be time for Lights Out.”

  “Is there any other choice?” His voice sounded both resigned and excited.

  The problem with Archie was sometimes his stuff worked and sometimes it didn’t, but regardless, he was always so excited about it. If it weren’t for the fact I was almost always the guinea pig, it wouldn’t be so bad.

  “Doubt it,” I told him and rolled forward, then reached inside my jacket for the gun.

  The rune inside glowed a dull yellow when I pulled it out and aimed at the door as the troll knocked it down. Lizard people scrambled for cover and three trolls, a Fae, and yes, a horned, snouted, red-eyed, seven-foot Moloch came in.

  I aimed the gun at the Moloch and tried to prepare myself for whatever reaction it would have.

  “Any last advice on a Moloch, Archie?” I yelled as my finger squeezed the trigger.

  “Run,” he suggested.

  Nah.

  I pulled the trigger, expecting a blast or a boom or even a fizzle as absolutely nothing happened. What I didn’t expect was for all the sound in the room to seem like it was sucked into the barrel of the gun, then get blasted back out at ten times the volume and for all the lights to go out. In fact, all the electronics went dead.

  Including my headset.

  “Ah, shit.”

  Chapter Three

  Rather than worry about why all the lights went out, I decided to go ahead and swing for the fences. Or rather, toss the gun at the two glowing red eyes about ten feet in front of me. I aimed directly in between them, then tossed, ducked, and rolled to the side. There was a squishy thud and the glowing eyes jerked back, then the form collapsed to the ground as I found my feet again.

  The pandemonium returned in earnest again, and bodies bumped into bodies everywhere. A sound like a roar rose from one side of the room and I felt a craggy, hard surface brush by me. Thinking fast, I went for the one weakness I knew of on trolls. I spun to gain momentum, then flung my heel into where I thought the stomach would be. The area where a belly button would be on a human was the only soft spot on a troll, and the sound that escaped the thing at the end of my foot let me know I connected with it.

  One down, two to go. I rolled toward the glowing eyes, which were on the ground staring up. I patted around on the ground for the gun. When I didn’t find it, I reached back to pull out my trusty switchblade. As soon as I got my fingers around it, I felt long, strong fingers close around my wrist, and in a beat, I was airborne until I crashed into a wall and slid down. The Moloch was up. I struggled to my feet as fast as I could and dove to one side, knocking over a screaming lizard person in the process.

  As I got out of the way, the Moloch crashed into the wall where I had been and knocked a hole in it. When he did, light seeped into the room, and I realized we were near a deck. Something was finally going right.

  “Ally, can you hear me? I’m going to the deck,” I yelled into my useless headset. I figured maybe they could hear me even if I couldn’t hear them. I ran for the hole in the wall and was only a few feet away when suddenly something smashed into my side and the world turned upside down as I spun in revolutions.

  I crashed into a wooden chair, which exploded into pieces and sent splinters everywhere.

  Splinters.

  Where the hell was Splinter?

  Before I could backtrack to the last time I had seen him, I had to roll to avoid a giant troll fist that crashed into the ground, for sure aiming to splatter my brains into goo. I rolled backward over my shoulder to get to my feet and dove forward at the small line of light the outside poured onto the advancing troll. It illuminated where the stomach was and I
drop-kicked it hard. The troll went to one knee, and I pulled out the switchblade, then drove it deep into the back of its neck before yanking it back out. The troll went to the ground and out of sight in the darkness.

  I turned my attention to the hole in the wall where I could see the Moloch in the distance, blocked by the exiting lizards as they tried to make a madcap escape for the outside. It was attempting to grab them as they ran and throw them back into the room or at other trolls as they scattered. I didn’t blame them. Staying here with dead Fae and dead or dying trolls wasn’t my idea of a good time either. The light shining on my face then went dark as a shadow passed in front of me. It was large, looming, and smelled of baked dogshit.

  One of the trolls guarding the hallway earlier was in front of me, and it was looking for a fight.

  It roared and I ducked, then rolled between its legs and made for the outside. While an angry troll was a troll prone to making mistakes in a fight, I certainly didn’t want to fight one in the dark. If he wanted to come outside in the light where I could see him, I would happily kick his ass like his friend’s. For now, though, my focus was on the lizard people’s safety and getting the hell off the boat that was now going God knows where.

  When I reached the outside, the Moloch was waiting for me. The scythe it carried buried into the wall beside me as I dodged its attack. I used the opportunity to lay some punches into its ribs and it backed up, releasing the scythe and trying to create space. I rolled toward the beast, slicing up with the switchblade and cutting it along the chest.

  Obviously, a stab alone wouldn’t do much, but perhaps I could weaken it. It backed up and found itself on the railing at the edge of the ship, and I saw my shot. I ran at it and leapt with both feet out, aimed at its chest. They landed perfectly, but he was too strong. I would need something other than momentum and brute force to beat this thing. Thankfully, I had prepared.

  I pulled a small item from my pocket, hanging from a chain. It looked like a rather pretty necklace with a glittering silver stone in the center. The main thing separating this from something I would have bought from Forever 21 when I was fifteen was that this one modified the force of gravity around it, meaning that when spun then thrown, whatever it hit, it hit with twenty times the force that it should. I spun the chain above my head a few times to gain the momentum it needed and hoped the thin strand of gold was enough to hold the rune before snapping and sending the powerful blast meekly off into the distance, or worse, right back in my face.

  It didn’t. I let it go, and it sailed through the air toward the Moloch and landed square in his chest. There was a sound like the entire world taking a deep breath, then a tiny, localized sonic boom emanated from where he stood. A surprised grunt followed the Moloch’s body as it fell overboard and into the water. A colossal splash followed a moment later. I turned to look for the lizards and saw them collecting together. The trolls were nowhere in sight, and no more Fae showed up. Maybe they’d had enough? I wasn’t going to question it.

  “All right, guys, so I want you to remember, right? Sara Slick saved your asses. Got it? Sara. Slick,” I emphasized, making sure they heard me.

  Feeling accomplished, I put my hands on my hips and watched as each of the lizards went from staring at me to something behind me. Then back at me. Then pandemonium again. Yes. There was a shit-ton of pandemonium. Only this time, the pandemonium led to them hopping over the edge of the boat and into the water.

  “Yeah, well, you’re ugly,” I shouted down at the last one as it splashed into the water. Rehabilitating my image would be harder than I thought. I turned around, fully expecting to see something menacing, but saw nothing but an empty boat. Then I heard a huge splash, and I peered over the edge. A troll was doing what it could to stay afloat and failing miserably.

  But I didn’t knock him into the water. He must have jumped. But why would a troll jump into the water?

  I ran for the side of the boat and almost headlong into a Fae. His wild eyes were enough to tell me that one of us would move out of the narrow space for the other, and he didn’t plan on it being him. I kicked forward and backed out of the way barely in time. His fists tried to make contact, but I ducked one and caught the other in the crook of my arm, then slammed my head forward into his jaw and heard a satisfying crack as it landed.

  The Fae tried to back up, but I was holding him steady with his arm inside mine, and I drove my elbow into his stomach. I grabbed him by the throat and shoved him into the side of the ship.

  “How many do you have aboard?” I shouted into his terrified and angry face. Spittle fell from his lips as he grasped my hand, but I had no intention of letting go. I pulled the switchblade from my pocket and held it to his chest. “How many lizards do you have on this boat?”

  “Fourteen. That’s all. The rest is Far weapons. Let me go!” he demanded.

  Fourteen seemed roughly the amount I had found and watched jump overboard at the sound of my name.

  “That’s all? Fourteen?”

  “Let me go, Slick!” he insisted.

  “Slick!” came another voice. This one didn’t come from a Fae or a demon or a troll. It came from Ally. And it came from my headset.

  I tossed the Fae off the wall and watched as he took a running leap and dove overboard, like the others. What the hell was going on?

  “Ally? What’s going on?”

  “Slick, get out of there,” she yelled.

  “Slick, it’s Archie,” he began.

  “I swear, Archie, stop introducing yourself,” I snapped.

  “No time, Slick,” interrupted Ally. Something in her voice made me worry.

  The sound of all the electronics on the boat suddenly jumping to life surrounded me and I spun around. A clicking sound from behind me caught my attention, and I looked for it. It was Splinter. He was running for me, carrying the Lights Out in his teeth. I patted my jacket and realized I had thrown at the Moloch and couldn’t find it in the dark. I took it from him, and he jumped into my jacket while squeaking loudly. Something was upsetting him.

  “No time for what?” I asked.

  “The boat, Slick. It’s heading straight for the Steel Pier!” she exclaimed.

  My eyes grew wide, and I ran around the rest of the boat. When I got to the front, I saw she was right. We were heading right for the glitz and glam of the East Coast’s Sin City, and fast. No wonder everyone was making a dive for it.

  Chapter Four

  “Where are the controls?” I shouted into the headset.

  “Slick, it’s a-around the corner,” Archie replied, and despite everything, I was proud of him.

  “Which corner?” I asked.

  “The far one from where you came out. Exact opposite side. You’ll have to go around rather than through,” he instructed.

  I took off running for the place he was talking about. I thought I knew where it was, and considering I ran to the front of the boat, it seemed like I should, theoretically, be closer to where the main controls were. Of course, I had no real frame of reference other than boat rides at theme parks, where the captain always stood at a window somewhere near the middle-front and waved at people. Part of me wondered if there was a big wooden wheel thing and if I could spin it.

  Of course, if there wasn’t, I had no idea how I would steer the boat away from the Steel Pier or its famous Ferris wheel. Maybe I would smash buttons until something happened. I was still planning strategy for emergency boat driving when I rounded the corner and came face-to-face with two more Fae.

  “Son of a bitch,” one of them gasped. “It’s Sara Slick!”

  Rather than engage in a lengthy conversation where I introduced myself, we got to know each other, and eventually they tried to kill me, I skipped to the end and punched the talky one in the mouth. He flew backward and skidded to a stop at the edge of the boat while I spun to roundhouse kick the other.

  Unfortunately, this Fae was quicker on the reflexes and saw my kick coming, and ducked low to make me miss. She swep
t my planted leg, and I sprawled on the deck. She dove on top of me and landed a shot to my jaw that made my vision go black and stars temporarily show up while I put up my arms to block another. Her second shot was to my stomach, and I felt the air rush out of me in one motion. I was getting my ass kicked and needed to create some space. Thankfully, a space-maker was in my pocket, ready to go.

  Splinter jumped out of the jacket and attacked the face of the Fae woman on top of me. She had mounted me to deliver her punches, but now she was on her back and flailing at her face as Splinter ran around biting any soft fleshy bit he could find. Figuring he had things worked out for a minute, I turned my attention to the other Fae.

  He was on his knees and trying to get to his feet, but having trouble with his balance. Fae weren’t known for being seafaring creatures, preferring to stick to areas with lots of trees. This suited me since my stomach finally settled and grew accustomed to the motion of the boat. Now it was all a matter of keeping my balance due to the intense rocking and kicking his ass before we crashed and died on the Boardwalk.

  I ran forward and dove while driving my knee into the side of his head, and he fell back again. I scrambled to him and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Behind me the Fae woman was still screaming, and happy little gnawing sounds came from Splinter as he ran around her, biting constantly, and let her hit herself as she tried to catch him or hit him.

  I drove my fist into the Fae’s face a few times until I was reasonably sure he was unconscious, then stood. As I did, the boat rocked again, and I grabbed the railing. The Fae wasn’t as lucky. His body slid toward the edge, missed the railing with his tall, thin elf frame, and slid right off the edge of the boat. His splash was accompanied a second later by one from the Fae woman, who apparently was tired of trying to hit Splinter and might have realized if she didn’t save the Fae man, he would drown.

  I shrugged and looked for my little buddy. He galloped up and jumped, and found his way into my jacket before ducking, then popping his head back up to beam at me. I scratched his head as I took off running for the controls. After this was all over, if I avoided destroying the Boardwalk, I owed this little guy more shrimp tacos.