‘Old-fashioned? You’re prehistoric, John,’ Sarah exclaimed, laughing, and John managed to smile at his sister.
None of them wanted an open quarrel and when Joe suggested another drink before they went to the club they accepted and were careful not to mention the subject of Anne’s job for the rest of the evening.
As soon as Anne and John reached home the quarrel was resumed. John seemed to regard it as an insult and a disgrace to him that Anne felt she needed to earn and Anne found it impossible to explain why she wanted to work outside her home.
‘Going out to work for a few shillings as though I can’t provide all you want,’ John raged. ‘What are people going to think?’
‘They’ll think I should be working anyway,’ Anne retorted. ‘Most women do when their children are grown up and they haven’t got so much to do.’
‘Yes, if they need the money,’ John said. ‘But you don’t. What do you want that I can’t give you?’
‘I want a bit of independence,’ Anne said wearily. ‘Can’t you understand?’
‘No, I can’t,’ John snapped. ‘The kids might be grown up but they still need you. They need meals cooked for them and the house cleaned and the clothes washed. I think you’ve got more than enough to keep you occupied.’
‘And waiting on you,’ Anne said. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll still be the family skivvy. You won’t suffer.’
‘That’s uncalled for,’ John said angrily. ‘Even thinking about a flaming job has changed you. Anyway, it’s a daft idea and you can forget it.’
Anne drew in her breath with anger and disbelief. ‘Now I will get a job,’ she declared. ‘I wasn’t completely decided before but I’m not going to be dictated to by you. Like over the driving lessons. I’ll earn some money and I’ll take them.’
‘Earn some money?’ John echoed. ‘The money was there for driving lessons if you wanted it.’
‘Yes, but you didn’t want me to take lessons, did you? What did you say when I suggested it? You needed the car for work and after that you could always drive me wherever I wanted to go. The truth was you didn’t want me to be independent or to drive your precious car.’
‘But it wasn’t the money,’ John said. ‘You’re making out now I begrudged the money, saying you’ll earn your own. You know the money was there if you wanted to take the damned lessons.’
‘Yes, but it was your money and I wouldn’t take it knowing you didn’t want me to have the lessons,’ Anne said. ‘If it’s my own money I can please myself.’
‘What do you mean, my money?’ John roared. ‘When have we ever had mine and thine with money? You did your share by looking after the family and I did mine by earning the money but it was always ours. What’s got into you?’
‘You don’t understand,’ Anne cried. ‘You’re too thick to see what I mean.’ She was sorry that she had mentioned the driving lessons and surprised herself by her bitterness about them. She had not even realised that she felt a grievance until the quarrel had brought it out, but now, in the way of quarrels, many old grievances came to the surface.
‘It was going to Ireland on your own that’s put these ideas into your head,’ John said. ‘Going off without me like that. I should have known what would happen once all the Fitzgeralds got their heads together. I’d be the monster that wasn’t good enough for their dear baby sister.’
‘We had more important things than you to talk about,’ Anne said. ‘But you think you’re always the centre of attention, don’t you?’
‘I know what your family think about me. They’ve never forgiven me for the bad time you had after Julie was born.’
‘Don’t talk rubbish,’ Anne said. ‘That’s only your guilty conscience. There was a medical reason for that. It was an illness. And what about you? The way you tried to make our Joe look small tonight.’
‘I didn’t,’ John said. ‘I only said I could keep my wife and that’s the truth. Nothing for him to take the huff about.’
‘You made out that Sarah had to work,’ Anne said hotly. ‘But you’re always the same, blundering in saying what you think, never mind if it hurts other people.’
‘That’s not true. I’m very tactful. That’s why I’m a good negotiator.’
‘Tactful!’ Anne exclaimed. ‘Were you tactful with Peggy Burns years ago, sounding off that we shouldn’t have bombed the Japanese when you knew the way Michael Burns had come home from the Jap prison camp? Four and a half stone and destroyed in mind as well as body. No wonder she went for you.’
John stared at her in astonishment. ‘But that was years ago,’ he said. ‘Good God, Gerry was only a baby.’
‘Yes, and you haven’t changed,’ Anne said, swiftly changing ground. ‘I could think of lots of examples. You’re always sure that you’re right and everyone else is wrong and you have to be in charge.’
John’s temper reached boiling point and he jumped to his feet and banged on the table. ‘There’s no arguing with you,’ he shouted. ‘I was right about the atom bomb. You know I was. You said it yourself.’ Neither of them had heard the door open but Laura suddenly arrived in the kitchen. She was horrified to see her father leaning over her mother, shouting and banging on the table while her mother looked up at him.
‘Leave her alone!’ she yelled, dashing over to put her arm round her mother.
‘Mind your own bloody business,’ John shouted back and Anne twisted away from Laura’s arm.
‘It is my business,’ Laura retorted. ‘She’s my mother. I’m not going to let you bully her.’
‘Don’t interfere, Laura,’ Anne said. ‘This is between me and your father. Go and make a pot of tea – and shut the scullery door after you.’ Laura looked at her with disbelief and reproach but she went into the scullery and shut the door.
John said bitterly, ‘I’m even treated with contempt by my own children and we know whose fault that is, don’t we?’
‘Yes, your own,’ Anne said swiftly.
‘You have to have the last word, don’t you?’ John said savagely and as Anne simply looked at him with raised eyebrows he suddenly flung away. ‘To hell with it,’ he muttered. ‘I’m going to bed.’ He went out without saying goodnight and slammed the door behind him.
Laura was standing in the scullery struggling against giving way to tears. She was angry with her father but even more she felt bitterly hurt by her mother’s rejection of her. She heard the slammed door then silence and she peeped cautiously into the kitchen.
Her mother was sitting at the table, her chin cupped in her hand, and Laura was unable to see her face. Resentment at being rejected by her mother struggled with her feeling of protective love for her and love won. She went to stand beside her and touched her gently on the shoulder. ‘Are you all right, Mum?’ she asked.
Anne turned her head and smiled at her. ‘Yes, love. I’m sorry you walked in on that. It’s rare for Dad and me to quarrel like that.’
‘Yes, because you always give in to keep the peace,’ Laura said indignantly but her mother shook her head.
‘You’ve got it all wrong, love.’ Anne stood up. ‘Did you make the tea?’
‘Oh no. I forgot,’ Laura exclaimed and they went into the scullery together in complete accord.
Chapter Sixteen
John was amazed by the quarrel and the bitterness Anne had shown. All the following day he brooded on it and was brusque and short-tempered with his colleagues. What’s got into her? he wondered. We never disagree. But then he thought uneasily of Anne’s comments about Peggy Burns and the driving lessons. He felt that Anne had been as surprised as he was when her comments suddenly erupted but she must have been brooding on these things for years and said nothing about them.
Women, he thought in disgust. She goes on one holiday without me and suddenly she’s full of talk about wanting to be independent. And the cheek of our Sarah looking for a job for Anne and then Joe putting in his penn’orth about it being Anne’s choice. I’m glad I said that about being able to keep my
own wife because it’s the truth. I know teachers are paid peanuts and Sarah needed to work but Anne doesn’t.
Laura was delighted that her mother had stood up for herself, as she saw it, and hoped she would soon find a job. She’s given in to him for too many years just to keep the peace, she thought, unaware how often Anne had humoured her to avoid conflict.
John confidently expected that Anne would drop the idea of a job now that she knew how he felt about it and he arrived home at six o’clock prepared to behave as though the quarrel had never happened. Gerry, now walking with a stick, arrived home at the same time but only Julie was in the house.
She took a meat and potato pie from the oven and served three portions. ‘Laura’s working late and Mum’s gone out,’ she explained. ‘She’s gone with Auntie Sarah to Vernon’s in Long Lane.’
Gerry saved John from having to ask by saying, ‘Vernon’s? Why have they gone there?’
‘Part-time jobs have been advertised,’ Julie said. ‘Mum’s gone to apply and Aunt Sarah’s gone for moral support.’
She laughed and Gerry said without surprise, ‘Good on her. I hope she gets it.’
‘It’s only three evenings a week, six till ten,’ Julie said, ‘but it’ll sort of ease Mum in gently to working again.’
John had been silent but now he said sharply, ‘Your mum has never stopped working. How do you think this house has run so smoothly?’
‘I know, Dad,’ Gerry said. ‘But she must get bored rigid stuck here on her own all day. She’ll enjoy having a job as long as she doesn’t take too much on.’
John was glad that neither Anne nor Laura was present to hear the conversation but he was fuming. For Anne to go off to apply for the job without a word to him, knowing how he felt, convinced him that it was a deliberate insult.
She’s done this to defy me and I’m not having it, he thought angrily, but when Anne and Sarah returned excited and happy because Anne had been accepted it was impossible for him to say anything.
‘They were only taking a small number of inexperienced people,’ Anne said, ‘and I was the last one. There were crowds of women in the entrance hall and I left Sarah and went over to a little group to ask what we had to do.
‘Suddenly this woman swooped down on us. She was as thin as a lath with jangling bracelets but she was very nice. She called to the commissionaire, “No more inexperienced ladies, Mr Hanley, after this. Only experienced. Come along, darlings.” I was swept off with the others into a room and we were given forms to fill in.’
‘I was still standing by the door like one of Lewis’s and suddenly she was gone,’ laughed Sarah. ‘It was like a madhouse.’
‘But what a laugh,’ said Anne. ‘There were six of us and they just left us to fill in the forms. I answered the questions truthfully but the woman next to me seemed to make up her answers as she went along. She asked me to check her form and according to the dates on it she’d started work when she was five years old. When I told her, she said she was just trying to knock a few years off.’
‘Tell them about the woman and the carrots,’ Sarah said. ‘I tell you, Anne, you’ll see life if you go there to work.’
‘We were all looking at each other’s forms and one woman had said that she had six children. Someone said she shouldn’t have put that down because they’d think she would often be off and she was quite indignant. “I’m not denying my children for no job,” she said. “If these don’t want me I’ll go and clean carrots in Hartley’s but I’m not denying my kids.”’
They were all laughing and Anne looked so happy, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling, that for a moment John felt a twinge of doubt about his opposition to the job. The next moment wounded pride made him say harshly, ‘And what about you? If this falls through, will you go and scrape carrots? Anything for a job, I suppose.’
Everyone except Anne began to speak at once. Gerry said indignantly, ‘Hold on, Dad.’
Julie was saying, ‘But Mum’s got the job.’
Sarah was glaring at John. ‘It’s only twelve hours a week, for God’s sake,’ she said angrily. ‘I don’t know what all the fuss is about.’
‘It’s the thin end of the wedge,’ John declared.
Anne ignored him and when Gerry asked about the pay, she told him it was twelve shillings a night, three shillings an hour. ‘But don’t forget they’ll have to train me,’ she said.
‘And no matter how little it is, it’s something you’ve earned yourself,’ said Sarah. ‘It’s a toe in the door, too. You’ll enjoy it, Anne.’
‘I’m sure I will. I really liked those women tonight and the Vernon’s people were so nice.’
John could bear no more and banged out into the hall but no one seemed to notice that he was going. Laura was coming in the front door and he said savagely, ‘I hope you’ve brought champagne. Your mother’s celebrating earning twelve shillings a night.’ He rushed up the stairs while Laura stared after him open-mouthed.
She went into the kitchen and said, ‘Hi. What’s happened? Why all the hilarity?’
‘Mum’s got the job in Vernon’s,’ Julie said eagerly. ‘Isn’t it fab?’
Laura kissed her mother and said with delight, ‘Congratulations, Mum. I’m made up. When do you start?’
‘Next Tuesday. I seem to be making a lot of fuss. It’s only twelve hours a week, three shillings an hour.’
‘Of course you’re not making too much fuss,’ Sarah said stoutly. ‘It’s the first job you’ve applied for and you’ve got it. Think of all those other women there who didn’t.’
Laura said nothing about her father’s comment but later she said to Gerry, ‘How did dear Papa take this?’
‘Didn’t seem too pleased,’ he told her cheerfully. ‘I think it was the pay he didn’t like. He’ll probably be outside there with a banner next week.’ He laughed heartily.
Laura smiled but said seriously, ‘Three bob an hour’s not bad for a clean, light job and she’ll be sitting down.’
‘Twelve bob a night. It’d buy six pints and a packet of fags. Not bad at all,’ said Gerry with a grin.
‘Anyway, the money doesn’t matter,’ said Laura. ‘What matters is that Mum is doing what she wants to do for a change instead of running after everyone else and fitting in with them.’
Although the family decided that the pay was unimportant, to John it added to his sense of injury. He had stayed upstairs nursing his grievance until Sarah had gone home but when he and Anne were alone later he burst out, ‘I can’t understand you. You’ll leave your home and fall out with me for thirty-six shillings a week. Good God, are you mad? I’m earning a thousand pounds a year and it’s there for you in our joint account. You’ve only got to draw it as you need it.’
‘It’s not the money. I just want to see if I can do a job. Can’t you see that, John?’ She spoke mildly but John refused to be placated.
‘No, I can’t see it. I blame our Sarah. Getting you to neglect your family for a few shillings and some mad idea of independence. I’ve always been proud that I could provide for my family.’
Anne suddenly lost her temper. ‘That’s the rub, isn’t it? For once I’m doing what I want to do, not what suits your image of yourself. And saying I’m neglecting my family! You’re the one who’s mad. I’m going out for a few hours in the evening when my work here is done. I’m entitled to that, aren’t I? You’re out often enough. I could have done it without telling you and you’d never have noticed. Anyway, I’m not going to discuss it any more.’
‘I go out for good reason, to do things that need to be done,’ John exclaimed. ‘Don’t compare my work with this crazy idea.’
Anne turned her head and looked at him with weary contempt. ‘I can see I’m wasting my time,’ she said. ‘You’re too selfish and conceited to be able to see anyone’s view that doesn’t agree with your own.’
John was taken aback. ‘This isn’t the last word on this and don’t think it is,’ he blustered but Anne walked into the scullery
, leaving him fuming. The way she looked at me, he raged silently. It’s gone far enough. I’ll have to put a stop to it but he was at a loss to know how.
The subject was not mentioned again while John was at home and he still hoped that Anne would ‘see sense’, as he thought of it. There was a strained atmosphere while he was at home and he and Anne only spoke to each other when necessary. He knew that Anne hated discord and in the past she had always been willing to concede an argument to avoid it so he hoped that this would happen now.
Anne had no intention of giving way this time. On Sunday they were all at the grandparents’ home for tea except John who had gone to the union headquarters for a meeting and Anne told Cathy and Greg about the new job. They were delighted because she was so pleased about it. Sarah and her family were also there, and although Anne had only said laughingly, ‘John thinks I’m mad,’ Sarah told them more about John’s opposition.
Anne had confided to Sarah that she had had another row with John after she left but had not given her any details and now she was glad as Sarah declared that John was completely unreasonable. ‘He had a cob on just because Anne wanted a few hours for herself,’ she told her parents. ‘You know, the great “I am – I can keep my family”.’
‘I think he lives in the past,’ Cathy said apologetically to Anne.
‘He had too much of his own way when he was young,’ Sarah said. ‘You spoiled him, Mum.’
Anne said nothing. She felt that his mother and sister were entitled to criticise John but the more they said, the more protective she felt towards him. Is it worth falling out with him over this? she wondered but when she recalled some of John’s comments she felt fresh indignation.
‘That last pay rise did it,’ Sarah declared. ‘It went to his head being on a thousand a year.’
Cathy said quietly, ‘He’s done very well but Mick has been very successful and it hasn’t made him throw his weight about.’
Anne was grateful to her father-in-law when he said, ‘Let’s be fair. Until the war married women were not employed in most jobs and professions. Women were expected to leave work when they married and stay at home with their families and most were happy to do so. John just hasn’t moved with the times.’
Honour Thy Father Page 22