Honour Thy Father

by Honour Thy Father (retail) (epub)

  ‘But that’s a shame,’ Laura said indignantly. ‘Aunt Sarah’s got her own life to live.’

  ‘She doesn’t mind. It’s for Rosa,’ Cathy said gently. ‘You’ll find that when you have children of your own, Laura. They come first.’

  ‘Mine won’t,’ Laura declared. ‘I don’t think any woman should be a doormat for her husband or her family.’

  ‘I’m sure Sarah’ll enjoy looking after the baby,’ Greg said, smiling.

  Cathy asked about Laura’s plans for Christmas but she was vague about them as she had not yet been able to ask Nick about Boxing Day and Cathy tactfully moved on to talk about Rosa’s baby.

  ‘Sarah told me what your dad said when he heard about the baby. That it couldn’t come anywhere where it would be better loved. She was very touched.’

  ‘It’s true though, Nana,’ Laura said. ‘And Rosa was very much in love with Lex Mountford when the baby was conceived. It was only afterwards she was disillusioned with him.’

  ‘Then it has a good start in life,’ Cathy said comfortably and Laura hugged her impulsively. ‘What’s that for?’ Cathy asked smiling.

  Laura said gruffly, ‘Just for being you.’ The familiar wonder returned to her that Cathy and Greg could be the parents of a man like her father who selfishly trampled on other people’s feelings but then she remembered his words to Rosa. He must be changing, she thought, not realising that it was her perception of him that had changed.

  Laura had arranged to meet Nick after finishing work on Thursday and she reflected that she must be careful to say nothing about meeting Phil Casey. She knew how easily Nick’s jealousy was aroused and she was anxious to be on good terms with him on Saturday night.

  In the event they nearly quarrelled about something entirely different. Nick was waiting in the entrance to the offices and when she asked if he had waited long he told her that he had been in Liverpool all afternoon.

  ‘Have you been off today then?’ Laura asked.

  ‘We finished last Friday for Christmas,’ Nick told her.

  Laura stared at him. ‘So you didn’t cut a lecture on Tuesday night then?’ she said. ‘The evening classes were closed for Christmas but I never thought about Christ’s being closed.’

  ‘So we tricked each other,’ Nick laughed.

  ‘But I didn’t know or at least didn’t remember until I told Julie I wasn’t going,’ Laura said. ‘But you must have known. Why did you say that about cutting the lecture?’

  ‘Just to twist your arm,’ Nick grinned. ‘What does it matter anyway? Neither of us missed anything and you enjoyed the carol concert, didn’t you?’

  ‘Yes, but—’

  Nick leaned forward and kissed her so that she was unable to speak. What’s the use? she thought. He just doesn’t understand what I mean but the thought flashed through her mind – Phil wouldn’t play a trick like that.

  Before they parted, she told Nick about her mother’s invitation to him for Boxing Day. ‘We always have a family gathering on that day,’ she said. ‘It’s usually good and you’ll be able to meet the rest of the family. Unless your own family have plans, of course.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Nick said. ‘I won’t be here. Tell your mother thanks and I’m sorry to miss it but I’ll be in the Lake District.’

  ‘The Lake District?’ Laura echoed. ‘For Christmas?’

  ‘Yes, I’m going with a couple of other fellows just for three days,’ he said cheerfully, unaware of Laura’s shock. ‘I’ll be back the day after Boxing Day.’

  ‘But Christmas Day. Won’t you be with your family? Laura said unable to hide her amazement.

  ‘No, the parents will be abroad.’ At the sight of her face, Nick laughed. ‘Everyone doesn’t make the fuss about these occasions that your family does,’ he said.

  ‘But Christmas,’ Laura said, then more aggressively she asked, ‘And when were you proposing to tell me about your plans?’

  ‘I’ll only be away for three days,’ Nick said impatiently. ‘I thought you’d be tied up with your family anyway. I know how you all gather for these occasions.’

  ‘You speak as though we’re some strange tribe with outlandish customs,’ Laura exclaimed. ‘We’re the ones who are normal, Christmas is special to everybody – well, almost everybody.’

  ‘Don’t be so damned intolerant, Laura,’ Nick snapped. ‘Everyone has the right to make their own arrangements. My parents celebrate with a holiday abroad but no doubt they’ll have all the trimmings in the hotel and I prefer a walking holiday to overeating and overdrinking. What’s wrong with that?’

  Laura seized on his first words. ‘Don’t tell me not to be intolerant, Nick Clegg,’ she said angrily. ‘You know you’re in the wrong, that I would expect us to spend Christmas together.’

  ‘I just arranged this on impulse,’ he admitted. ‘If I’d realised how much it meant to you…’ He tried to take her hand but Laura snatched it away.

  ‘Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t need you to enjoy Christmas. Walk your legs off for all I care. I’ll be enjoying myself.’

  ‘Then what’s all the fuss about?’ Nick demanded.

  Pride made Laura force a laugh and say airily, ‘Nothing at all. I’ll give Mum your message.’

  He slipped his arm round her. ‘Friends again?’

  Laura reluctantly agreed, unwilling to spoil the plans for Saturday night. Nick seemed able to forget the disagreement immediately but for Laura it was a real struggle to overcome her anger. Only the thought of the night out with Mary and Danny made it possible.

  She decided that she must warn Mary to say nothing about the meeting with Phil when she saw her the following day at lunchtime, but the next day Mary rang to say that she would have to work through her lunch hour, so there was no opportunity. Mary now worked in the office of a firm of wine shippers and this was their busiest time.

  Anne had been working in one of the retail shops of the same firm for several weeks, part-time. Her application for the post of school secretary had been unsuccessful and she had decided that she was not sorry. ‘I don’t think I’d have liked it,’ she said. ‘I like shop work. Meeting people,’ and she had taken a few temporary jobs as part-time shop assistant.

  John had been opposed to the job in the wine stores and his objections had grown as the shop became more and more busy in the run-up to Christmas.

  ‘They coast along all year and make most of their money in these few weeks,’ he said. ‘And you’re the muggins who is there for all the hard work.’

  ‘I enjoy it, John,’ Anne said mildly but John was not convinced.

  ‘You’re being exploited. Working for less money than those who’ve had it easy all year,’ he told her.

  Anne was on duty from four o’clock until ten on the last Saturday before Christmas and John was fuming. ‘It’ll be like a madhouse there and you know what your mother’s like,’ he said to Laura and Julie. ‘She’ll be working all out because people will be queuing waiting to be served.’

  Laura was almost sorry that she had arranged to go out as Julie would also be out with Peter and friends.

  ‘Don’t start yelling at her when she comes home,’ she told her father. ‘She’ll want a bit of peace when she comes in. I wish I hadn’t arranged to go out.’

  ‘Don’t tell me what to do,’ John yelled at her. ‘I know how to look after her. I don’t need you to tell me.’

  Julie said quickly, ‘It mightn’t be as bad as you think, Dad. Mum said they’ve got extra staff on tonight,’ and John and Laura calmed down.

  Peter Cunliffe’s application for the housemaster’s position had also been unsuccessful but he had obtained another post in the same school which he hoped would lead to a housemaster’s position in due course. Julie and Peter had talked to Anne and John and visited Peter’s widowed mother in Manchester the previous week and they planned to announce their engagement at Christmas. They had intended to keep their plans secret until Christmas Day but Julie could not resist telling Laura a
s they prepared for the evening festivities. ‘I’m not telling anyone else,’ she said. ‘I want to surprise everyone but I wanted you to know, Lol.’

  Laura hugged her. ‘I’m made up and I know you and Peter will be happy together,’ she said. ‘But I don’t think anyone will be surprised. They’ll only be surprised that you didn’t announce it sooner. There was never any doubt, was there?’

  ‘No,’ Julie admitted, looking a little crestfallen. ‘But we didn’t want to get engaged until we knew when we’d be married. We don’t like long engagements.’

  ‘So you’ve made your plans for marriage too?’

  ‘Yes, on my twenty-first birthday in August,’ Julie said shyly. ‘Peter starts his new post in September so it will all fit in. We’ll be able to have our honeymoon in the school holidays.’

  Julie zipped up Laura’s dress and Laura helped Julie with her hair as they talked and it came to Laura like a blow how much she would miss her quiet little sister. She kissed Julie and said softly, ‘I can’t tell you how happy I am for you, Ju. You’ll make a lovely bride and I know you and Peter will be happy. If ever people were made for each other, it’s you two.’

  ‘Thanks, Lol. I hope it will be your turn next. You love Nick, don’t you?’

  ‘Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t,’ Laura said honestly and they collapsed in giggles.

  Mary and Danny were waiting in the foyer of the Adelphi Hotel when Laura and Nick arrived and Danny and Nick were introduced. ‘I know some of your crowd,’ Danny said. ‘Gail Sugden is my cousin.’ Nick looked puzzled and Danny explained, ‘Peter Taylor’s girlfriend. You know Peter and Phil Casey, don’t you?’

  ‘I’ve met them,’ Nick said stiffly.

  Laura waited in trepidation for Mary to mention the shopping expedition with Phil but she only said, ‘We’d better leave our coats. I think our table’s ready.’

  They all enjoyed the evening. Danny was a cheerful, extrovert man with an easy conversational manner and a fund of stories. Laura thought she had never seen Nick so relaxed. The meal was excellent and the surroundings luxurious.

  Mary looked round and said with a sigh, ‘When I was a child I never thought I’d be dining here. So many doors were closed to us then.’

  Danny laughed. ‘Yes, but we’ve kicked them open. But hang around, girl. You ain’t seen nothing yet, as the comedian said.’ He raised his glass to her. ‘You’ve had the hard times with me, but just wait, the good times are coming. We’re going places, you and I, Mary.’

  ‘Literally?’ Nick asked. ‘Will you leave Liverpool when you qualify, Dan?’

  ‘No, not if I can help it,’ Danny said. ‘All my family are here and my friends and the same with Mary. I’m sure I’ll get something here. I’ve had a few promises.’

  ‘I’ve no family to worry about but I wouldn’t like to leave either,’ Mary said.

  Nick looked at Laura with a quizzical expression. ‘You don’t feel that, do you, Laura? You’d be willing to spread your wings?’

  ‘Not if there was any alternative,’ Laura said. ‘I don’t really want to live anywhere but Liverpool.’

  Nick looked thoughtful and Danny said cheerfully, ‘The thing is, wherever you go in the world you’ll always find a Liverpudlian. My brother’s a seaman and he says that. He says when they hear the accent, the first thing they say is that they’re exiled Scousers and the second is, “Which team do you support, Everton or Liverpool?”’

  They all laughed and Nick pointed out, ‘That proves that people do leave here in droves.’

  ‘Yes, but not willingly,’ Danny said. ‘And they’re still Liverpudlians until the day they die. They never lose their love for the city or their intention to come back when it’s possible.’

  ‘I think you’ll find that you’ll have to leave Liverpool if you really want to get on,’ Nick said to Danny. ‘I’m determined to go where the best chances of promotion are, no matter where. I’m sure you’ll come round to my way of thinking, Laura.’

  ‘Don’t hold your breath,’ Laura told him curtly. ‘You might come round to mine.’

  Mary and Danny pretended that it was all a joke but Laura knew that they realised as much as she did that something vital in her relationship with Nick had been asked and answered.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Laura gave her mother Nick’s message about Boxing Day, wondering how she would react, but Anne accepted it without comment. Her mind was so filled with last-minute plans for Christmas, thoughts of Julie’s engagement and of Gerry’s wedding, mingled with sorrowful memories of Maureen who would be absent from the family festivities, that she failed to realise Laura’s distress.

  She doesn’t care, Laura thought bitterly. She doesn’t even think that I might feel hurt and humiliated to be left alone for Christmas and I’m not going to spell it out for her. As always, she was disproportionately upset when it was her mother who failed her.

  In the few days before Christmas Laura watched Julie who seemed incandescent with happiness and Peter who seemed to be constantly touching Julie and smiling at her. Margaret and Gerry, whenever she saw them, would sit close together and discuss plans for their wedding in March and Laura felt lonelier than ever.

  They truly love each other, she thought, and the fear that she was unloveable returned. Nick said that he loved her but was it true? Actions speak louder than words, as Nana had often said. If he loves me he would want to be with me surely, especially at Christmastime. But then he had said that Christmas was not as important in his family as it had always been in hers and they obviously found it acceptable for him to spend Christmas walking with men he hardly knew.

  I suppose he thinks those men might be useful to him, she thought cynically. He had told her that he cultivated people who might be useful in his career and when she protested he said it was quite usual. ‘That’s why boys are sent to public schools,’ he said. ‘Not for education but to make contacts which will be useful in later life. That’s how people get on.’

  He had also told her that was the reason he was active in his parish, to make sure that he was known to the parish priest. ‘Priests are often chairmen of governors in Catholic schools and the word goes round. I’ll be remembered as a good-living, hard-working Catholic layman when a headmastership comes up.’ He had laughed as he said it and assured her that it was a joke when she seemed disgusted but she had an uneasy feeling that these were really his views.

  Anyway, it means if that’s the reason for the walking tour, I don’t come first with him. His career does, so he can’t really love me, she thought.

  And what about Phil? Mary insisted that Phil fancied her but if he did, surely he would have done something about it. Perhaps Mary was just being kind because she could see that Nick was not loving and caring as Danny was with her. Laura had not seen Mary on either Monday or Tuesday lunchtimes as she was meeting Danny so there had been no opportunity to hear her opinion of Nick.

  On Wednesday when Laura met Mary she said bluntly soon after they met, ‘Well, what did you think of Nick?’

  Mary laughed. ‘He certainly had more to say than the other time I met him at the Cabaret Club. Danny liked him. He’s good company, isn’t he?’

  ‘Yes he is,’ Laura said, gratified. ‘You know we’re always falling out but in between we have good times. Danny’s good company too. I’ve always liked Danny.’

  ‘He’s a smasher,’ Mary agreed fondly. ‘I should have all sorts of hang-ups after the childhood I had but Danny’s put everything right for me. He’s so good and so uncomplicated and he knows just how to sort me out. I feel safe with Danny.’

  ‘You were lucky meeting him when you did,’ Laura said and Mary agreed.

  ‘His family are all the same too. Sound, as the fellows in our office say. There’s one old aunt who gets a bit bitchy but his mother just says, “Now don’t be at it, Marcella,” and they all laugh.’

  Laura felt the conversation was straying from the subject of Nick. ‘Nick’s family are not l
ike that,’ she said. ‘They seem very cold with one another. His parents are going abroad for Christmas and I don’t know what his brother’s doing.’

  ‘Oh, well, it takes all sorts,’ Mary said tolerantly. ‘And Nick’s going on this walking tour? Be a bit cold, won’t it?’

  ‘Yes. Wouldn’t suit me. I’m more for the fireside at this time of the year,’ Laura said airily. Mary said nothing and Laura thought that she was not deceived.

  They lit cigarettes then Mary said thoughtfully, ‘I hope Nick wasn’t right about needing to leave Liverpool to get a good job. Danny’s sure he’ll get fixed up here but perhaps it’s different for teaching.’

  ‘Not necessarily,’ Laura said. ‘I think they talk about it in the college and some of them talk a lot of hot air.’

  ‘I hope he can get fixed up in Liverpool.’ Mary touched Laura’s hand. ‘I’d miss you terribly if you went away, Lol.

  For a moment Laura was unable to speak and she felt her eyes filling with tears but she bent her head and said gruffly, ‘I’d miss you too,’ then she blinked and said in her normal voice, ‘Aren’t we jumping the gun a bit here?’ and they both laughed.

  It was only just before she left Laura that Mary said casually, ‘Seen any more of Phil Casey?’

  ‘No, why should I?’

  Mary shrugged and laughed.

  The house was empty when Laura returned home but there was a note from her mother about her dinner. Anne was working until ten o’clock and Julie and Gerry were both out but her father returned at nine thirty and said he was going to the shop to pick up her mother.

  ‘She’s supposed to be working until ten o’clock,’ he said. ‘But you know what she’s like. She’ll be worrying if there are still customers there and staying to help the regular staff if I don’t go for her.’

  ‘Yes, she’s too soft for her own good,’ Laura commented ironically but although her father glanced sharply at her he said nothing.