“Near.” Nevyn emphasized that word.
“Could work,” Luykas commented lightly. “Nevyn has a point. There could be a nice male out there for you.” Luykas knew it was a desperate wish, and it didn’t change that Alchan had other pressures weighing on him that Luykas didn’t. Luykas wanted to be there for his brother more, but this was one way in which their lives were worlds apart.
“Of course you would consider it. This is why I don’t talk to you about my sex life.” Alchan glared, swinging his tail out to hit Luykas in the thigh. His wings tensed and opened slightly, a subconscious intimidation move. “Stop pondering and trying to find a way to play matchmaker. You have enough of your own problems.”
“Yeah…” Luykas rubbed his thigh, shaking his head. Even at the mention of his problems, he focused on the beat of his heart and its loud echo underneath. At least he could have a normal conversation, which meant she wasn’t getting into bed with anyone. In fact, she felt a bit warm. He focused a little more. She was still on the deck in the sun, getting hotter by the second. He wondered why she didn’t go inside when she was obviously uncomfortable.
“We’ve lost him,” Alchan muttered. “See? This is what I’ve been putting up with. He just fades away as he feels things that aren’t happening to him.”
“I remember the early days of our blood bond,” Nevyn said, looking towards Varon, smiling. “I would just live in it, loving how much I could feel you.”
Varon’s answering smile was bright and loving. Then his hands began to move. Luykas felt the insane urge to break those fingers as they signed out what Varon was thinking. “Yes, and I loved it. It was a welcome closeness. I can’t imagine how hard it is to deal with when it’s a completely unwanted addition to an already hard life.” The lovers kissed after that, Nevyn giving a very satisfied male growl.
“He’s really mean to you,” Alchan muttered, leaning down to say it softly to Luykas.
“I’ve noticed,” Luykas bit out. “I’m going to dock their pay so we can afford extra supplies. Bryn says we can’t, but I really think I can make it work.”
“That’s harsh,” Nevyn retorted. “But if you do dock our pay, give that female her first paycheck. I’d say she deserves it, being tied to a male she doesn’t want.”
Luykas growled louder, but Nevyn didn’t back down. Age and experience made the warrior the winner of the argument. With Varon backing him up, Luykas had no chance.
“Sometimes I wonder who runs the Company…” Alchan waved the couple away. “Get out of here before one of us tries to kill one of you.”
“You’re both fine leaders, don’t worry. I would never challenge your decisions on the battlefield. You’re trained for that and I’m not.” Nevyn grinned. “For everything else? Well, let’s just say I keep having to remind myself how young you two actually are.” With that, Nevyn threw his arm over Varon’s shoulders. They left together in a way Luykas had seen a thousand or more times before.
“Eighteen hundred years old and we’re young. Can you believe that? We brought these males together and at every opportunity, they give us shit for something or another.” Luykas snorted. “No one would ever guess if they saw us like this that we’re trained in tactical warfare, raised to lead armies full of Andinna like Nevyn.”
“We’re not exactly models of Andinna life and culture,” his brother reminded him. “We made the Ivory Shadows because we couldn’t bring ourselves to settle.”
“We couldn’t accept losing,” he corrected softly. “We thought we were too smart to have lost the War. We were misfits with minds and ability, and yet, we lost. We let Javon move the army into a bad place and didn’t speak our minds about it, and…”
“Yeah…” Alchan sighed. “And it’s not like we’re out saving our people now.”
“We’re just trying to keep the few free ones alive now.” Luykas ran a hand through the black hair between his horns. “Does it feel like it gets harder every year?”
“Feels more tiring every year. I hated this mission, but it was at least exciting. Like those few couple of centuries when we first founded the Company. Felt good to be an Andinna in Myrsten, fighting through those Elvasi soldiers. Like we mattered for a moment.” Alchan looked down at his hands.
Luykas swallowed the feelings. He knew what Alchan was talking about. They worked for money now, raiding storehouses, catching bounties for Olost’s city states. Anything to make the money to pay their warriors or feed their people. Anything to survive another year.
And sometimes they got to piss the Empire off doing it. Sometimes.
“I’m going up,” Alchan said finally, standing. “Not in the mood to mope.”
“I am,” he mumbled.
“Then stay down here and mope.” Alchan kicked his boot as he walked by. Luykas chuckled, watching his normal, pureblood brother walk out.
Luykas let his thoughts take him. From Mave to the state of the Company, he knew they needed to make a change for the better or every year was going to get worse. When they made it to port, he was going to need a mission ready for them to hit, and one that didn’t involve a contract or a paycheck.
They needed something like the good old days. They needed some glory in their lives, like rescuing Matesh and Rain just gave them, like freeing Mave gave them, but better-paying.
10
Mave
The ship rocked as a wave slammed into it. Mave stumbled and fell into a wall, unable to hold onto anything. The jarring impact made her slip and her knees hit the wood.
“Shit!” someone snapped. “There’s always a damned storm right before we reach this fucking port.” Someone grabbed her elbow. “Let me help you up!”
She looked up and saw Nevyn there. She reached out and took his other hand as the ship rocked to the other side, sending them to the other wall. It ended up with her body against his in a way that she really didn’t want to think about.
Why couldn’t he have been Matesh? My male would have loved this. Nevyn probably just finds this weird.
“Sorry!” she yelled over the sound of rain and thunder. The waves sounded like they were monsters threatening to sink them.
“It’s fine!” He didn’t seem too bothered with the way she was now pressed up against him. “Get to your room and hide out!”
“Okay!” She nodded and looked down the hall. Her cabin was four doors away.
Everything had been fine. Captain Sen had just been telling them how they were only a few days from port when the skies began to darken. It hit them faster than she could have reckoned possible. From the sound of it, this sort of thing was common in the region and the sailors were always ready for it. That didn’t settle her nerves.
Nevyn stayed with her the entire way down the dangerous hall, and even opened her door. She thought he was being courteous but then he shoved her in. She landed on her bed of blankets and mattresses as the ship tilted again, causing her and the entire bundle of fabrics and linen to slide into another wall. The door slammed shut and she was left alone in the small cabin as the world went mad.
She had been fine on the ship for the entire trip. She hadn’t gotten seasick or anything. She hadn’t felt unsafe. From what others had told her, she had been handling the sea well for being landlocked her entire life.
Now she felt all of those things. Her stomach turned and she feared for her life and the lives of everyone else. Where was Matesh? He had forced her in first, saying he needed to find his uncle. She understood that, but she had no idea if he was safe now and she couldn’t trust her own legs.
“I put Mave in her cabin!” Nevyn roared beyond the door. It sounded distant, nearly drowned out by the waves. “Rain, with me!”
“Good!” someone screamed back. She didn’t even have a chance to think about who that might have been as the ship rocked and sent her back into a wall.
Suddenly her door flew open again and someone came tumbling in. She hoped it was Matesh, but the body that hit hers wasn’t as big as she was used to.
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Looking up, she saw Brynec, his face pale.
“Mat needed to stay with his uncle!” he said loudly to her. “Rain and Zayden with Varon and Nevyn!”
“Why are you here?” she asked, holding on to him like her life depended on it.
“No one can be left alone. If someone gets hurt from the tossin’ around, we need to have others on hand to help.” He was so close to her now that she realized neither of them had to yell over the sounds of the waves.
She nodded. The reasoning was sound. Suddenly one more body came through the door. This one she recognized and knew immediately. White wings told her the ivory Andinna was there. Her chest told her it was Luykas before he even opened the door, but she didn’t have the chance to consider that.
“Alchan went to see Mat and Leshaun and stay with them,” Luykas told them, his words nearly not loud enough. He had an air of calm that neither of them did. “So I’m left here with you two. Bryn, did you get tossed on top of her?”
She realized at that moment how the waves had left her and Bryn. He was over her, his hands braced next to her head. Their bodies were pressed together like the most intimate of lovers. He pushed away first.
“Aye. Sorry, Mave.” He fell backwards, landing on one of her stripped bed frames. She stayed in her floor bed. Luykas shut them in together and moved to the other frame.
“Matesh do all of this?” Luykas asked politely, waving down to her mattresses, pillows, and blankets.
“He did. It’s easier-”
“For you to cuddle on the floor. Yes, I know his reasoning.” Luykas chuckled. She glared. The white-winged Andinna know-it-all. The sorcerer mutt. The gold-eyed Elvasi. In that moment, he was all of them and she disliked the calm attitude he had. “Andinna like bed floors. Varon and Nevyn do it all the time, no matter where we stay or how big the beds are.”
“Maybe now isn’t the time to educate her on bedroom tradition,” Bryn said, leaning back. “Fuckin’ boats. Fuckin’ storms. Fuckin’ travelin’.”
“Are you okay?” she asked. She didn’t like how pale he was. She probably didn’t look much better.
“Aye. Just hate this.” He leaned over, his wings bent awkwardly out of his back, and put his head between his legs. His tail’s tip hooked with hers and she immediately knew it was a comforting gesture. “Luykas doesn’t let anythin’ bother him, the freak.”
“I’m used to this and it’s never really scared me. It’s like flying during a storm, which we might have to do if the ship goes down. The biggest worry then is lightning.” Luykas shrugged. “You’ll get used to this, Mave. Bryn’s fear is personal.”
“Aye! Don’t call me out,” Bryn snarled from his spot. She realized she was in a cabin, sitting between two of the worst males she could be with. Bryn, who was having a hard time, even rougher than her, and Luykas, who seemed to be completely unfazed and couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Bryn looked at her, those sky blue eyes glassed over. “I’ll tell ya why when we get on shore. When I have dry land under my feet.”
“Why don’t we all try to get some sleep?” she asked, hoping she could close her eyes and this would all be over when she woke.
“We need to be awake in case anything happens. We can either sit here in silence for hours or find something to talk about. Your choice.” Luykas’ gold eyes were pinning her to the spot now, obviously wanting her to offer them the suggestion.
“Talk,” Bryn answered for her. “Talk about anythin’ except important shit. Can’t focus on important shit right now.”
“I was asking Mave,” the mutt clarified.
“He’s right,” she cut in, before the males could start riding their tempers. “Talk about anything. I don’t care.”
“When we get to port, we’re going to start planning our next job. We’re going to pass through the village to drop off Rain and check in, ask what they need before winter. You’ll be able to meet several of the Andinna there. We won’t be there long, maybe a few weeks.” Luykas was so calm, so nonchalant, speaking just loud enough that she could hear him. He wasn’t even trying. “Enough time to recharge our batteries.”
“Aye, tell her the mission we’ve talked about.” Bryn heaved after saying that.
“We’re going to raid some Elvasi merchant’s storehouse. He’s a known supplier to Empire loyalists in Olost. It’s a small faction that is dedicated to getting Olost to bend the knee to the Empress. We need to give them a hard time. It’s been too long since we bothered them, since they aren’t much of a problem unless we catch them supplying hunters. No one in Olost wants to join the bitch.” Luykas grinned. “But we need to remind Olost we’re only in their nation to survive, not take over, and this helps.”
“And we get to mess with the Empire,” Bryn added, looking up. She didn’t like how he looked, moving closer.
“Bryn, come down here,” she ordered. “It’s easier down here and more comfortable.” She was getting to the point where she was beginning to feel normal. She couldn’t ignore the tossing of the ship, but it was easier than trying to stand and then getting flung.
Bryn shook his head. “Can’t. Ain’t right.” She didn’t miss the darkening of his skin from a blush finally showing up on his pale, sick face.
“Maybe now I should tell her about Andinna bed traditions.” Luykas chuckled. “We’re going to stay up here because a male never gets into a family’s bed unless he’s been invited into her mayara and the other males know. Matesh made this bed for you and him because it’s the best we can on this ship. We’re not welcome.”
“I thought females were in charge of the relationships,” she retorted.
“Yes, but this is also Matesh’s bed. If you want a separate space from him later, you can take whatever male you want to it, but you can’t bring one to a shared bed, not unless that male is being brought into the mayara.” Luykas sighed. He sounded like the conversation was tiresome.
“Ya could come to my bed but I ain’t getting in yours,” Bryn clarified. “If ya didn’t share this one with Matesh, it would be okay if he didn’t know I was in it. But ya do and I can’t.”
“Are beds really that important?” she demanded, looking between them. “It’s comfortable down here. Brynec, you’re sick. You need to come down here for your own health.”
“You might not consider Matesh a member of your mayara, but we do. We’re not getting into your bed, Mave. Drop it.” Luykas’ tone turned sharp and annoyed. “You’re putting Bryn in a bad place with that sort of invitation, even if you don’t mean to.”
Mave looked away from the mutt, growling. It was her bed and Bryn wasn’t feeling well. She trusted the male enough to let him down here. Why did any of this matter?
And she was stuck on what Luykas had said about her mayara. Was Matesh that close with her? Did she really want one of those strange female family units? Did she already have one and not know it? Was that possible?
Would that keep Matesh with her? Or would her saying he was just chase him away?
“Would he say yes?” she whispered to herself.
“Of course he would. I don’t think you even need to ask. He already considers himself your first lover, the bedrock of your mayara and he acts like it.” Luykas gave her an unwanted answer. She hadn’t thought he could hear her.
“Do you need to have a word about everything?” she demanded, full of annoyance.
“You asked.” Luykas shook his head, practically rolling his eyes. “Females.”
She snarled at that. Bryn reached out and grabbed her shoulder, keeping her seated, she figured.
“Leave it,” he said gently. “Luykas is annoyed he’s in here with us two.”
“I didn’t ask him to be here!” she snapped waving a hand in Luykas’ direction. “We could all die tonight and I’m stuck here with the male who…” She couldn’t finish, her anger growing with every second.
“Aye, but this is what ya got for now. Ya two need to get along for this.” Bryn let her go. “What will make ya feel ea
sier?”
“If you came down here and got comfortable instead of being up there, sick and unsafe.” She didn’t care about the stupid tradition. There was no reason to be so stubborn, she figured. The damned male just needed to come down and she would deal with Matesh if he got angry.
Bryn looked away from her, mumbling something about Mat killing him. He left the empty frame and sat next to her stiffly on the mattresses on the floor. She grabbed a pillow and put it behind his back so he wasn’t leaning on the hard wood.
“Females,” Luykas muttered again. “I’m not going down there. This is a firestorm waiting to happen.”
“I didn’t ask you to and I sure as hell don’t need your opinion on it anymore,” she growled, still working to make sure Bryn would be okay. Bryn was tense, but she ignored it.
And once she was satisfied, she settled back, happy with herself. She was new to the idea of having so many other Andinna in her life that she could trust and care for. She wasn’t sure how to do any of it right. This felt right, making sure Bryn was comfortable. This was something a friend could do for a friend.
“Tell me why this scares you so much,” she asked softly, leaning close to him. “Does it have to do from a time you were a slave?”
Bryn nodded. “Mave…”
“I’m here to listen,” she promised. Please tell me. Please trust me. Please show me we’re closer now than we were. I need to know I’m doing something right here.
“Sometimes, very rarely, a slave would get in so much trouble that they would lock us in a tall thin cage where we had to stand and had no room to move. Then they would lower it into the bay, particularly during rough waters, a storm. They would leave just enough space that we could try to breathe. It happened to me once. I lived through it, but a lot of others don’t. It’s awful. It was a long time ago. Haven’t liked water and shit since. Okay?” Bryn’s explanation came fast and desperate. He was shaking now and she gently wrapped her arm around his shoulder.
“I don’t like males because all of you have only wanted to hurt me. But here I am, on a ship with so many of you and needing to rely on you. If it weren’t for Mat and Rain, this would have never happened. I would never trust any of you.” She hoped her words meant something. “So…just let me help, okay? It’s how I can give back.”
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