by Read, Calia
“Let’s go over there.”
Rainey pointed to a tent off in the corner.
“What if someone we know spots us?” I asked urgently.
Rainey looked at me from the corner of her eye. “You worry far too much.”
“You worry far too little.”
Impatiently, Rainey waved my words away. “Everythin’ is fine. There is nothin’ to fear.”
Rainey all but dragged me the rest of the way to the tent that had, TEMPLE OF KNOWLEDGE, written above it. There were smaller signs erected by the entrance. The price was five cents for a “special reading.” One sign said, “Who will be your sweetheart?” Another below it read, “Do you know your enemies?” And then, “Where will life take you?”
I would be lying if I said my curiosity wasn’t piqued. Those were all questions I would love to have the answers to. However, Étienne was incredibly superstitious, and that wasn’t by chance. Momma always said he was like Daddy. And there was a saying he would tell us frequently, Dieu seul connaît l’avenir.
I didn’t carry Étienne’s strong beliefs in the clairvoyant. This was all in good fun. At least that’s what I was telling myself.
Rainey stopped at the entrance and looked at me. “Ready?”
There was no one in front of us, which made me more apprehensive. Why was there no one coming to the palm reader? Before I could ask my question, Rainey opened the flap of the tent and walked through, taking me with her.
“Hello, ma’am,” Rainey confidently proclaimed.
An older woman sat behind a table. Even though it was a rather humid summer night, the old woman had a shawl draped over her shoulders. Gold earrings dangled at her ears, and numerous rings decorated her slender, yet wrinkled hands. I couldn’t decide if this was how this woman customarily dressed or if it was merely a costume.
“Good evening,” the woman said.
“You’re the palm reader?”
The older woman eyed us suspiciously. “Yes. I’m Freya.”
“Aren’t you rather old?” my best friend blurted.
“Rainey,” I hissed.
My friend turned to me with wide eyes. She saw no problem with saying the truth. It was one thing to be straightforward when surrounded by family and close friends, but in front of a stranger? It could lead to a dangerous situation.
Freya remained straight-faced. “You don’t look old enough to be here alone.”
The remark caused Rainey to nod, and me to give the entrance of the tent a furtive glance. This was beginning to feel like a terribly bad idea.
After several seconds of regarding us with narrowed eyes, she said, “With age comes knowledge. If you are here with questions of your future, then you have come to the right place.”
Freya’s irises were so dark, they appeared almost black. She looked past Rainey and directly at me. Even though it was humid in the tent, goosebumps prickled my skin. My mouth opened, ready to tell Rainey that we needed to leave.
But then my best friend spoke, “How much does it cost to know our future?”
The woman was unalarmed by Rainey’s question and pointed to a bowl on the corner of the table. “It will be ten cents to read each of your palms.”
“Outside the sign said five,” I meekly said.
Freya gestured toward Rainey. “Because of her, it’s now ten.”
“Thanks a lot,” I hissed.
“What? What did I do?” Rainey hissed back as she began to search for the correct change in her small clutch. Reluctantly, I stepped forward, knowing I couldn’t beg off now. Rainey sorted through the coins in her hands and handed them over.
Freya counted them for herself, and once she was satisfied, she put the money away and pointed to Rainey. “You. First.”
Rainey happily took a seat.
“Before I start, you must know what I say is the truth. It might be difficult to hear, but I cannot help that. However, you can.”
The chance to escape this tent all together was an impossibility. Rainey was steadfast in her decision to do this and I couldn’t leave her here.
“We want to know,” Rainey confidently told the lady.
“Then let us begin,” she said.
Rainey placed a hand on the table, palm up. Freya cupped my best friend’s hand between her wrinkled hands. She peered intently at Rainey’s palm. Her eyes never settled on one place for long. It was almost as though she was reading a book.
A silence settled across the tent. It came instantly and blanketed itself across the three of us so placidly, I knew this was a process that happened with each person who stepped into the tent.
Then, after several minutes of silence, the woman spoke, “Although your family is comfortable now, fortune does not follow you into the future.”
With that said, Rainey turned to me with a smirk playing on her lips. “If I become penniless, may I live with you at Belgrave?”
I smiled back. “I will ask Étienne, I believe so.”
Rainey turned back to a hunched over Freya, who kept her gaze fixed on Rainey’s palm. She lifted her head and pinned Rainey to the chair with her dark irises. “You use humor as a barrier to protect your sensitive soul. Your unyielding will protect you from enemies, but not all. There’s one that perceives the truth in you.”
Freya let go of Rainey’s hand. It dropped to the table with a thud. Slowly, Rainey drew her hand back onto her lap before she cleared her throat. “Is that all?” she asked.
Freya nodded. “That’s your reading.” She looked to me and pointed to the seat next to Rainey. “Come sit.”
Cautiously, I stepped forward and took the seat opposite of Freya. I placed my hand on the table and waited, looking at my best friend from the corner of my eye as though she could offer me last minute advice, but she was of no help. Rainey was leaning back in her chair, arms crossed, carefully watching the fortune teller. Freya’s hands were cold but smooth. Like she did with Rainey, she stared thoughtfully at the lines on my palms. I tried to anticipate what she might gather from the line, but to me, they were only grooves in my skin. They told me nothing. Freya frowned and leaned closer. As she did with Rainey, she stayed in that position for several seconds before she pulled back and kept my hand between hers.
She looked between Rainey and I, almost accusingly. “Both of you have the hands of death draped around you.”
With that chilling statement, I swallowed and looked to my friend. Rainey continued to stubbornly keep her attention on Freya.
I turned back to Freya and said in a measured voice, “We’ve lost people in the past if that’s what you mean.”
Freya shook her head, impatience filling her gaze. “In your past, yes. But in your future. Death is not done with the two of you.” Her eyes remained on Rainey. “You will lose someone you love.” Her dark eyes flicked to me so fast I nearly flinched. It felt as though she’d been staring at me the entire time. “You will lose your heart to someone you love.”
With my hand clasped between hers, Freya continued to stare at me with her all-knowing eyes. “I see pain in your future. Not pain from the past. This is new.” Once again, she looked at me accusingly. “It will be man-made.” Freya mused over her words before she softly smiled to herself and shook her head. “It’s always man-made.” As quickly as the smile appeared, it left. “Pain cannot compare to the hands of fate. What is meant to be in life finds a way.”
Loudly, I swallowed. I didn’t like her words or the meaning behind them. I wanted to believe this woman was unhinged. That she said this to every person who walked through her tent, but her composure showed she had nothing to gain by telling a lie.
“Rainey,” I said faintly, “let’s go.”
My best friend shook her head. “But I want to know more.” She dropped her hand back onto the table. “Tell me who my sweetheart will be.”
“Let’s go.”
The urgency in my voice made Rainey pull her hand back. As she stood, she thanked Freya, while I silently began to inch my way ba
ckward. Rainey made her way toward me and we were almost free, when Freya said, “May I leave you two with final words?”
Rainey and I stopped, looked at one another, then turned back to Freya.
“Yes,” I replied, albeit reluctantly.
Freya pointed to Rainey. “You will do well with your courage. Never lose it.” She pointed to me. “You are far more powerful than you understand. You have a silent strength that most people wouldn’t dare contain.”
While I absorbed her words, Rainey leaned in front of me, blocking my view of Freya. “Wow. Can we venture back to my courage? I would like to know more about that.”
Freya shook her head and motioned for us to leave. “Thank you, girls.”
At once, the two of us fled the tent. With our arms linked together, we silently wove in and out of the crowds. It was only until the carnival was behind us, and we stepped onto King Street, that I breathed a sigh of relief. We broke apart and slowed our steps.
Perhaps when we made it back to where Warren was waiting with the car, the feeling of being watched would leave. The hairs on my arms continued to stay raised as we walked. I told myself I was simply paranoid by Freya’s words and there was nothing to worry about. Nonetheless, I looked over my shoulder.
There was nothing there.
I turned forward, crossed my arms over my chest, and kept my eyes on the ground. “What did she mean?” I whispered to Rainey.
“She meant nothin’. It’s a bunch of tomfoolery.”
“Tomfoolery we paid ten cents each for thanks to you.”
Rainey stopped walking and looked at me. “You’re not considerin’ her words to be true, are you?”
I rubbed my hands up and down my arms as I thought of my reply. I saw the scrutiny in Freya’s eyes as she stared at my palm. That was real. Were the words that followed real too? To say yes seemed foolish, so I simply shrugged.
Rainey groaned and placed an arm around me. “Stop, Nat. This”— she flung her hand in the direction of the carnival— “is meant in jest.”
“But, but—” I started and stopped my words several times. “She spoke of death,” I reminded.
“She mentioned death because everyone has had someone and will have someone die in their life. And before you ask, the remark about love? I’m positive she tells that to nearly everyone that walks through her tent.”
I bit down on my lower lip as I mulled over Rainey’s words. She made a valid point. “Do you think so?”
“I’m positive,” Rainey confidently stated.
“What about her sayin’ pain and the hands of fate.”
Rainey blinked at me several times, appearing almost confused by my worry.
“What if my pain truly can withstand fate?” I nervously asked.
“Whatever dares to stand in your way will have to deal with my bow and arrow. Now can we leave?”
A touch of a smile caused the corners of my mouth to lift. Leave it to Rainey to boost my spirits. “Yes, we can go.”
Rainey looped her arm through mine, and together, we began to walk down the sidewalk. “Excellent because we have no time left to spare. If we’re gone much longer, your brother will notice we’re missin’.”
“Oh, I think it’s too late for that.”
In unison, Rainey and I gasped and looked in the direction of the voice. The figure that walked out of the shadows was Asa Calhoun. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or terrified. Relieved that it wasn’t a stranger who followed us from the circus.
No, there was no question. I was terrified because Asa would tell Étienne and Mrs. Pleasonton. Our night of fun had ended abruptly. What life I had before this night was over.
“If Freya was at all skilled in the craft of fortune tellin’, shouldn’t she have told us that Asa would be followin’ us?” Rainey dryly asked me.
I gave her a nudge and tried to think this through. There was nothing that would explain why Rainey and I were alone in Charleston, late at night.
Asa crossed his arms and looked between the two of us with disappointment in his eyes. “I was workin’ with Étienne in his office when I thought I heard the front door close. He told me it was likely a servant, but when I went to check, I realized I didn’t hear the two of you gigglin’ like hyenas, and then I discovered that Warren made an impromptu trip to town. That’s very unusual for him. I found him waitin’ beside his car and he told me everythin’.”
At once, Rainey and I moved toward each other, our shoulders touching.
“What were you thinkin’?” Asa asked.
Rainey and I looked at one another, waiting for the other to explain. When it was clear Rainey wouldn’t be speaking for us, I decided to try. “We merely wanted to enjoy the carnival,” I quietly confessed.
“And risk your safety in the process?” Asa continued talking before either of us could answer. “My God, you’re two young girls. Anythin’ could happen to you. Warren was becomin’ half-worried out of his mind when I sent him back to Belgrave.”
“We’re sorry,” I insisted.
“Yes. Very sorry,” Rainey confirmed.
Asa was unmoved by our words. “Don’t say sorry to me. Apologize to Warren. And then you can apologize to Étienne and Mrs. Pleasonton after I tell them where I found you two.”
My heart sank to my gut. Beside me, Rainey made a weak protest, but Asa stood firm.
“If only I had my bow and arrow…” Rainey said beneath her breath.
Wide-eyed, I stared at her. “Surely, you wouldn’t take aim at Asa?”
“Well, as a rule, I prefer to only strike limp Livingston, but since he’s not here and Asa is, I’m left with no choice,” she said dryly and rolled her eyes. “Of course, I’d take aim!”
“My word, Rainey!”
“Do not disparage the power of the bow and arrow. My aim is superb. I would not miss.”
“Excuse me, girls,” Asa said loudly and snapped his fingers, bringing our attention back to him.
“As terrifyin’ as that conversation was to hear, I think we need to concentrate on the matter at hand: that the two of you left Belgrave without tellin’ anyone.”
“Who us?” Rainey widened her eyes and blinked slowly, looking like a baby fawn lost in the woods. She nudged me in the side. I took that as my cue to do the same. “We’re just two girls who took a stroll on Belgrave property, became lost, and somehow found themselves in Charleston.”
“Oh, Rainey, the charade is finished!” Asa snapped. “Now let’s start walkin’ to my car because I would like to get some sleep tonight.”
He held our arms, one in each hand, and escorted us down the street as though we were small children learning how to take our first steps. To Asa, I would always be a child. Maybe it was the butterfly bow in my hair? It made me appear childish, but I wasn’t. I was thirteen. Very slowly, my wardrobe was changing. The hem of my dresses was beginning to lower, a small introduction into women’s fashion.
Yet my big launch into womanhood was when I had an unexpected arrival two months ago. It all started when I woke up. I pulled back the sheets and saw the blood, and when I went to the restroom and lifted my nightgown to look between my legs, my drawers were saturated with blood. Even my inner thighs were smeared with blood.
Dread and fear filled me. My heart began to race as I thought the worst. I dropped my nightgown and ran from the restroom. “I’m dyin’! I’m dyin’! Send for a doctor!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.
I was so loud, Étienne ran from his office, panic-stricken. He met me in the middle of the stairs and tightly clutched my shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m bleedin’ down there!”
At once, he let go of me as though I was contagious. “Oh, God. Oh, Nat you’re not dyin’.” He ran a hand through his hair lookin’ far less worried and more embarrassed than anything. “I’ll send for Mrs. Pleasonton!” he stated confidently and walked down the stairs as though the matter was solved.
“Mrs. Pleasonton?” I followed behin
d him. “She’s not a doctor.”
He stopped at the entrance to his office and gave me a sad smile. “No, but she’s a mother. She’ll explain everythin’ far better than any doctor.”
And she did.
That afternoon, Mrs. Pleasonton came prepared and sat down with me in my room. I discovered I wasn’t going to die, and I wasn’t injured. I was simply experiencing my menstruation. She remained as dignified as ever as she removed a package from her handbag and held it out to me as though she was bequeathing me a family necklace passed throughout generations.
“I purchased this on my way here. You will need this on a monthly basis.”
On the package, in red letters, it said, Lister’s Sanitary Towels. Directly beneath it was, SANITARY NAPKINS FOR WOMEN.
I’d seen these at stores in Charleston, but I’d never paid them any mind.
“It’s not the pain that will make you want to lie down, but this dreaded contraption. It’s no better than a diaper.”
Perhaps a diaper might be better. I applied the sanitary towel just as Mrs. Pleasonton instructed, but the contraption was dreadful. It was horribly uncomfortable and constantly shifted in my drawers. Just yesterday, as I walked through the shops with a friend and her sister and momma, I bled all the way through my drawers and chemise. I went about my day, until I heard sniggers behind me. When I looked, there was a group of boys pointing at my dress. I spotted the red stain, and realized I applied the sanity towel wrong.
I always imagined that when I did get my monthlies, I would turn into this radiant woman, filled with confidence and blossoming beauty, but I felt more uncertain than ever before.
I didn’t feel comfortable enough with my friend and her momma to express my humiliation, so I feigned a bellyache and went home. I trusted Mrs. Pleasonton. She would help me like she did before. But I didn’t know how to ask for her support. When I tried to think of the right words, tears would immediately fill my eyes. It made me think of my momma.
Yes, if Asa only knew the changes occurring to me, he would realize I was no longer a small child. I didn’t need to be treated as such. Resentfully, I looked at up at him as he continued to hurry us down the street. His legs were so long, Rainey and I nearly had to run to keep up with him. Sometimes I wondered if he would ever see me as anything other than Étienne and Livingston’s little sister.