Moonlit Surrender

by Kitty Wilder

As quietly as she could, Lucy opened the front door to the home Ben had paid for and arranged the building of in the hopes of starting a family in, a family with her. She stepped into a dark foyer and saw no other lights on in the adjacent rooms.

  “Was that him?” Ben’s voice accused suddenly, haunting the darkness somewhere in the living room.

  She about jumped out of her skin, mistakenly believing him to be in bed. “What?” she asked confused, trying to find him by the dim streetlight casting its orange glow through the bay windows.

  “Was that him?” he enunciated once again, this time more sternly. “Your professor you’ve been seeing.”

  Her heart stopped in her chest, caught red handed, as guilty as could be, John’s kiss still wet on her lips. He knew and now she knew he knew, but still, some animal part of her that was backed into the corner tried to fight her way out of the situation. “My professor?” she feigned ignorance, poorly.

  The tableside lamp by the couch clicked on and white light filled the room, blinding Lucy for a moment.

  “Can we just stop with all the fucking lies? I know, Lucy. I know everything. I found your damn box of lies under the bed and I know you’ve been fucking your professor. That was his sweater under there too, right? And I know you were with him tonight.” He held up his phone to show a short text conversation with a number she didn’t recognize. “The night custodian at your school used to work for me. You stick out like a sore thumb in this town.” He tossed his phone to the other side of the couch disgusted. “He saw you two together tonight. Funny how you would’ve gotten away with it if you’d have given up this ridiculous gothic bullshit like I told you to. Hopefully, it was all worth it.”

  Her mouth went dry and she knew she needed to speak, to say something, anything really, but not a single word formed on her tongue. Stuck in the arched entryway between the living room and the foyer, she stood awkwardly, fighting the urge to flee the conflict and run as far away as her legs could take her and then hide away in some dark cave until he forgot her name and she forgot what she had done to him.

  “Nothing? Do you have anything to say for yourself?” he watched her dejectedly from his seat on the couch, oscillating between rage and despair.

  Shakily, she forced herself to enter the room, but quickly collapsed into the nearest chair in front of the windows. She sighed heavily, but still no words came.

  “I just...” he trailed off as he sighed and leaned forward onto his knees. “I just wish you would have told me you were unhappy.”

  “I tried,” she finally answered.

  He scoffed.

  “I really did,” she defended. “I tried so many times, but I just couldn’t find the words. How do you tell the person you love that you can’t live the life they’ve been so carefully building for you? How do you tell someone you can’t be what they want?”

  “Is that what it is? You don’t want to be a part of my life anymore?”

  “It’s not that simple, Ben,” she groaned. “I just... I don’t fit into this picture you’ve created of our future.”

  “You can’t fucking marry me?” he sneered in disbelief. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was asking so much of you.”

  “It’s what goes along with being your wife. You want me to give up all that I am and resign myself to living a life of seclusion in your kitchen, popping out children for you. I’m not that person.”

  He stood up in outrage and began to pace the room. “I think that’s being a little dramatic, Lu. I asked you to marry me and start a family together, not to lock you up in a dungeon as some sort of sex slave.”

  She fidgeted with her fingers in her lap. “Are you happy, Ben?”

  “What?”

  “Are you even happy with me? You’ve been so hellbent on making this image of what your future should be a reality, the perfect house, the perfect homemaker and wife, the perfect set of children, but did you ever stop and question whether or not you even want that with me? We’ve been together so long and maybe that’s why we just kept staying together, but maybe I’m not supposed to be the one you have that future with.”

  “Of course I wanted that with you!” he snapped indignantly. “I love you! I wanted to make a life with you. I wanted those things with you.”

  “I don’t have those things to give you though, Ben! You’re trying to fit a square peg into a circle hole, that’s why it’s always been so hard. Hasn’t it been hard? Every step we’ve taken together has been agonizing, fighting over college, the wedding date, whether or not my having a career is even worth it if I’m just going to get pregnant immediately.”

  “Relationships are work, Lucy. Good things don’t come easily. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am in my career to afford you this nice house and to support you so not working is even an option. Most women would be thrilled with what I have to offer.”

  She shrugged in defeat and mumbled, “I’m not most women.”

  He raked his hand through his dusty blond hair and returned to his seat on the couch. “I just don’t know what more I could’ve given you.”

  “I think maybe,” she started hesitantly, unsure if her words would set him off again, “that we just got older and started wanting different things.”

  “You,” he corrected. “You started wanting different things.” He paused and absentmindedly picked a piece of lint off his khakis. “I just can’t believe you actually slept with someone else. It’s not like I haven’t been tempted or had opportunities, but you’ve always had my loyalty.”

  “I’m sorry,” she replied softly.

  “I hope he was fucking spectacular because it cost you a marriage. I think we’re done now.”

  Spectacular doesn’t begin to describe John Wright, she thought.

  “And it’s not like you can even have a future with him,” he added with disapproval weighing his brow, a vicious glint in his eye. “Isn’t he like a hundred years old?”

  “More like three,” she corrected under her breath with a withheld smirk.

  “This thing you’ve given everything up for is just a fling. It’ll be over so fast and then you’ll see everything you missed out on.”

  “Sure, just a phase, right?” she mocked. “Because everyone knows how quickly I burn through phases and flings and flake out on shit.”

  “Well you sure as fuck flaked out on our relationship.” He rose once more to his feet, anger tightening his jaw. “I’m going to go stay with a buddy until you can find somewhere else to go, and you better believe I want that goddamn ring back.”

  “It’s on the dresser.”

  “Of course it is, because it’s never on your goddamn finger.”

  She sighed and let him have his final word and storm out of the room and up the stairs to pack a duffel bag of essentials while she sat quietly, listening to the sound of him stomping around and slamming drawers and closets before exiting with one final slam of the front door.

  Maybe her love had been closed off from him for some time, maybe somewhere inside her had already left him long ago, but still she felt her heart grieve as she listened to the sound of his car engine start up and then fade away down their street. An era of her life was over, nothing left from it but the black clothes she had entered into it with, and how strangely it had begun, a teenage fairytale all on its own. When she was younger, she thought she had been living a dream, paired up as lab partners with the popular jock, noticed by the hot guy every other girl drew their name in hearts with in their notebooks. Ben’s parents had been going through a divorce then and perhaps he had found more substance in the social reject than all their vapid peers that worshiped him. Lucy offered him the space to lament and vent and they bonded over their broken homes, her own parents a different sort of mess though still together. Then, though she couldn’t pinpoint when, he healed. It wasn’t sudden, but by the time she noticed, it was like a switch had been flipped in him and, egged on by his brother’s success, all he could think about was the American dream: perfect
wife, picket fence, babies, but Lucy had not changed with him. The phase of the cool, quarterback Ben with the dreamy hair and heart of gold was officially ended now. Whatever new era was beginning, she couldn’t say, but it felt darker.

  Chapter 15

  Lucy climbed the many stairs of John’s apartment building for the second time that evening, though the night was waning and it wouldn’t be long before the first grays of dawn began to brighten the sky and chase all the vampires, including John, back into hiding until twilight fell once more. She smiled as she slipped her shiny new key into the lock of his door and felt it give way and open freely to her.

  The apartment was dark and after a few soft calls of his name with no answer, she assumed empty.

  She set her purse down on the counter and carefully made her way through the black room to the lamp beside his couch, smiling to herself as she remembered following nothing more than the smoky commands of his voice in the dark and the trust he would guide her safely through the black. Once the modest light of the lamp filled the room with a warm glow, she saw scattered across the coffee table opened envelopes and strewn out handwritten letters in such pristine calligraphy Lucy had first taken them for printed words.

  Curious, she sat down to investigate.

  The envelopes were addressed to John, but without any return addresses, and the letters themselves were signed with nothing more than a ‘D’. Lucy lifted one of the letters and her eyes widened as she read softly to herself, ‘He was spotted in the area. It’s obvious it can only be for one reason. Lay low. Stick to the plan.’

  She picked up another letter, shorter than the others. ‘There’s a tail on the human. Cut ties immediately. Possible trap.’

  The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as straight as could be and she felt her skin crawl in dread and fear. The human girl could only mean her, but what on earth could John possibly be mixed up in that so much danger was around them?

  A vampire’s affairs.

  She jumped with a squeal as the door flung open but was relieved to see it was only John flying in and locking the deadbolt behind him. He turned around a bit disheveled and surprised to find her sitting on his couch, then his eyes dropped to the coffee table and the scattering of letters she had been reading.

  “Lucy,” he stated, caught off guard. “Testing out that key already?” he teased, though a bit distracted as he crossed the room to her and pulled the heavy drapes behind her closed, then hurried through the rest of the apartment to do the same to the other windows. He was back in the room quickly, just a blur flashing past her until he was standing still on the other side of the table again. “What are you doing here, dear? You should be safely tucked away in bed,” he asked.

  She shrugged. “I got in trouble.”

  His eyes widened with worry and she understood now it was because he knew there was much more going on in their sleepy little town at night than she was aware of.

  “Just with Ben,” she reassured. “I’m fine, but he found out about us and called off the engagement.”

  “Oh,” he sighed in relief, then stepped around to pull her into his arms. “I’m so sorry. That couldn’t have been easy.”

  She nestled her cheek into his chest, inhaled his scent and felt a calm wash over her. “Our breakup was a long time coming.”

  “Breakups are never easy. It’s okay to feel sad.”

  She pulled away from him enough to look up into his eyes, just about to ask if she could stay with him until she found other arrangements, but he interrupted her before she could speak.

  “You’ll stay here, if you’d like, that is. It would be a comfort to me to know you are safe.”

  “Yeah,” she agreed, watching his face to gauge his response, “especially with that pesky tail on me.”

  He sighed heavily. “You’ve been doing some reading I see.”

  She slipped out of his arms and pointed to the letters on the table. “What the hell is going on? Are you in danger? Am I? Is this why you gave me a key?”

  He faltered uncharacteristically, stumbling over his words. “No. Well, yes. I mean...” he trailed off and lifted his hands to rub his graying temples. He reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders and then gingerly sat her down on the couch before beginning a steady pacing of the room as he went on to better explain himself. “A long time ago, I did some things I’m not proud of. Right before I was changed...” he trailed off for a moment, deep in his own thoughts, then continued, “I had just lost my wife to illness and was grieving the loss of my family, searching for comfort at the bottom of nearly every barrel in town, drifting from one tavern to the next like an inebriated ghost.” He paused again uncharacteristically. “I was attacked in the alley, by a vampire that had noticed my vulnerable state. I managed to fight him off, kicking, scratching, and biting him back and accidentally ingested his corrupted blood. This is how I, too, became a monster.”

  “You’re not a monster, John,” she interjected softly.

  He shook his head and continued. “I-I hurt people, Lucy. I took lives.” He sighed heavily, unable to meet her gaze. “I lost my way for a very long time.”

  “And the ‘he’?” she asked, leaning forward curiously as she watched him walk the length of the room and then turn about to walk it once more.

  His stormy eyes did not lift to her, shame keeping them downcast as he confessed his sins. “Lerexus,” he spat derisively. “He was a very old vampire even then, and he saw an easy convert in me I suppose. He took me in to his dark cult and educated me on what I am, or what he believes us to be. He was my mentor for a very long time.”

  Lucy watched him as he finally collapsed into his old chair across from her and rested his head in his palm, pained by the memories.

  “He was from a different world,” John continued, “and to Lerexus, vampires are gods, deserving of worship and their due sacrifice of blood. He glorified it and for a time I devoured his egotistical lies and participated in their bloody rituals. I was his special pet, his favorite. Once my conscience finally caught up with me and I began to question his hateful teachings, it was too late. There was no leaving his bloody cult. I couldn’t go on taking lives. I couldn’t be his protégé any longer and I began to look for any way out. I told you I had an encounter once with what you referred to as a vampire hunter.”

  She nodded, wide eyed and holding onto his every word.

  “They are called the Venatores, or in this case a woman, a Venatrix named Despina. Their order stands to defend the world against evil. They are skilled hunters and trackers and she had caught wind of the heinous crimes I had committed while under Lerexus’ thumb. She cornered me one night and just as she was about to take my life and send me to whatever hell awaits vampires, I told her I could lead her to a whole nest of us. I told her of Lerexus and his cult and what they do. Apparently she had already been hunting him for some time even then. I asked for her to rid the world of them, even if it meant striking me down alongside them. She saw some shred of humanity left in me, I suppose, and agreed to let me live, upon the agreement of certain caveats.”

  “So what happened? Did she kill this Lerexus?”

  He shook his head gravely. “His little spies tipped him off and while the Venatrix was able to decimate the rest of the cult, Lerexus got away. She had originally intended to bring me back to their headquarters as some sort of science experiment - a live specimen to study and ferret out all the secrets of their enemy, but since he survived, she has kept me on a tight leash to use as bait. That was so long ago though, with no word of him for ages. I thought it was safe to start trying to rebuild some semblance of a life, but the letters were a warning. He is here, and I doubt he has forgotten what happened so long ago.”

  “And so he’s been following me? What would he want with me?”

  Finally, his gray gaze lifted, full of trepidation beneath his heavy arched brows. “You are dear to me,” he answered.

  They said no more for a long moment as John agonized sile
ntly in his chair.

  He broke the quiet with a solemn apology, “I am so sorry, Lucy. I never meant for you to get mixed up in my sins. I spent so long in hiding and keeping everyone, even my own kind, at arm’s length. I thought it would be safe to try for a life finally, just once. I so enjoy teaching and this little town, but more than all that, I’ve enjoyed getting to know you.” He turned in his seat to face her. “It has been such a privilege to join you in this special journey of yours, to have you open up to me so completely. I’m sorry I’ve violated that trust and put you in harm’s way. I’m sorry I’ve failed you.”

  She tilted her head in confusion. “Why are you talking like we’ve reached some sort of end? You haven’t failed me, silly man,” she chuckled sympathetically and reached out to touch his arm. “I...” she began but hesitated, looking deep into the gray ocean of his eyes for even the smallest sign that what she was about to admit might possibly be reciprocated.

  She smiled at him warmly as she realized there was no risk of disappointment or further heartbreak in this room tonight. Boldly she proclaimed, “I love you, John Wright, and wherever you’re going, I’m going too. You don’t have to face this alone.”

  She saw whatever invisible wall he had built up around his heart crumple beneath her words and a vulnerability cover his face which she had only caught rare glimpses of until this moment. Now it was he who was opening himself up to her. He knelt down at the edge of the couch in front of where she sat, nestling himself between her open knees, and leaned forward into her bosom and wrapped his arms about her waist. She welcomed him warmly and cradled his head to her chest with soft kisses and hid her smile in his hair.

  “And I love you,” he answered at last. “You’ve brought me back to life in a way I thought I could never be.” He pulled away from her embrace to look up into her face. “I promise I’ll protect you, princess. I’ll take care of this swiftly, and,” he added, “Doris will no longer be a hindrance. She took the rejection surprisingly well, which normally would raise suspicion, but what further harm could she be? Lerexus already knows everything. He is all that stands in the way of my peace now.”