For a second, my eyes stung before I could settle my emotions. That small gesture told me a lot about Tanushree. She didn’t seem particularly warm, or even nice, but she was...thoughtful and thorough. My respect for her grew.
“Thank you,” I said.
Tanushree coughed. “Of course. Anyway, you are currently single, unattached to any organization, and more importantly,” she said, cocking an eyebrow at me, “you are being hailed by the common people as the Hero of Soron, the Hero of Bittertown, and the Hero of Mensk. There are even rumors that the new king is going to name you a Hero of Berber, and I’ve told Aodh that he should.” She smiled. “You are famous, Nora, or at least you are about to be.”
My mouth dropped then soundlessly worked up and down for a while. “I am no rotting hero!” I finally got out, my voice strangled.
“Your actions say otherwise. And besides, whether a person is a hero or not has exactly nothing to do with their own opinion. If the title is legitimate, it can’t be bought or chosen, either. Hero status is given by the people that the heroes protect. Nora, after the last few days of news reports coming out about the attacks and special interest stories, you may be one of the most popular people in the country.” The young noblewoman smiled at me. “King Aodh will probably have a ceremony to honor you with a medal and your new title in about a week, or as soon as you are healed, whichever is first.”
My jaw fell again. I honestly didn’t know how to respond.
Tanushree folded her hands in her lap and dropped her smile. “And this brings me to what I came to ask you.”
The seriousness of her tone helped me shake off my bone-deep shock. I gave her my full attention.
She said, “I am engaged to be married to Aodh.” She didn’t pause. “Being a new king, especially after the old queen was murdered by cultists, and the city was attacked has been...challenging. Aodh needs all the help he can get. Unfortunately, so do I.
“Aodh and I are engaged because if he wasn’t at least engaged to a first wife, the Berber Nobles would be more fired up than they already are. They would have already mobilized, and would be ambushing the new king left and right with constant engagement opportunities. It isn’t unlikely that rebuilding the city would actually be ignored in favor of politicking, which is wrong, but also reality. What’s worse, if Aodh would have tried to force the nobles to focus on rebuilding instead of personal gain using only his title, he’d be ignored. This would have been a terrible poison for his new position. I am his fiancée because I care about Aodh, I care about my friends, and more importantly, I love my country. There is a possibility that the marriage might not work out and I would have to remain married for political reasons, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”
She seemed utterly sincere, but her expression broke as her eyes flashed and she smiled coldly. “The increase in power and station won’t hurt either if I want to survive my family. That actually brings me to my next point.”
I blinked. She had just thrown a lot at me. I was still a former Jackal from Bittertown. Luckily, I was keeping up. Barely. “What is that?” I asked.
“My family will probably be very aggressive since they will assume they can leverage my engagement, but the position for Aodh’s second wife is still open. Some Bobriks will doubtlessly think that having two family members directly attached to the throne, or more, would be worth fighting for. Other families would do whatever they can to stop it. I highly underestimated how ruthless nobles in the capital could be, and how big a prize the second-wife position would still be to many of them.”
I nodded, unsure of where the conversation was going.
“I know you fancy Aodh. You were really, really obvious.” My heart skipped a beat and I felt stunned. Before I could even think to form a response, Tanushree continued in a factual tone of voice, “He fancies you too. After I told him about your past and your accomplishments, his interest actually grew. I am here in the capacity of first wife of my future family.”
Sometimes I could be slow, but I finally figured out what this was about. “You’re approaching me to marry the king? As second wife?”
“Yes.”
I was so floored, I’d dropped into floating time. It was a temporary solution to my shock, but actually helped me get my brain moving. “Why?”
Tanushree began ticking points on her fingers. “First, you are extremely popular, so none of the nobles would be able to block the engagement after the announcement, despite your status as a commoner. In fact, many of the nobles would think it’s a wise move on Aodh’s part.
“Second, you have no ties to any of the nobility, which means I know you are not a puppet.
“Third, you are powerful. Not only can you help protect the king, you could function as a representative of the capital in the future. You can also take care of yourself. I won’t pretend otherwise, being engaged to the king is dangerous. There have been three attempts on my life in the last two days.”
I blinked at that, but nodded. “Continue.”
“Fourth, the interest in you by the common people and nobility will take a lot of pressure off of Aodh. The gossip papers will focus on you and not him. This might be uncomfortable for you at first, but should fade in time. Your checkered past has actually made you an underdog, and an even greater hero in the eyes of the people. There is a lot going on right now, and we really can’t let Aodh be distracted by petty rivalries among the nobility. Giving them something else to focus on would be a great solution.”
I thought about the recent message from Dolos and nodded. I could only imagine how many problems there were to solve in the city now, much less the whole country.
“Fifth, I respect you, and so does Aodh. He finds you attractive and you are attracted to him. There is actually the potential for a real relationship and marriage here. I would prefer that the second wife of my household be someone I can depend on, and someone who cares about Aodh. If you go through with this deal and things don’t work out between you and the king, you will be able to take your own discreet lovers and have a merely political marriage if you choose.
“Sixth, you have ties to both Berber and Tolstey, just like Aodh and his friends do.” She silently counted her fingers again. “I think that’s about it. Any questions?”
“What do I get out of this?”
“Besides marrying a king?”
With a shake of the head, I said, “I don’t really care about that.”
“I believe you. It’s one reason I am giving you this offer on such short notice after a single meeting in an alley.” Tanushree screwed her mouth up and said, “You have people you care about, I’m sure. Imagine how much you could help them as a queen of Berber. Plus, if you agree, you are in luck because the Mensk Officer Academy opening has been postponed, so you will be able to attend.”
Now it was my turn to cock an eyebrow. “I was already going.”
“Oh.” Tanushree shrugged. “Well, the last thing I can really tell you is that as a queen, you will be shielded from most pitfalls of celebrity. You will also be able to make a greater difference in the world than you could on your own.”
I thought about everything she’d said. “Would I be able to get a job and a house for a friend of mine and her husband?”
Tanushree chuckled. “At the very least. Nora, Aodh is a good man and would support the things that are important to you. He’s young, but believe me, he has a true heart, and he is...astonishingly powerful. Him and his friends.” Her eyes sharpened. “From what I understand, so are you.”
I half-heartedly waved the comment away with one hand. Then I asked a sensitive question. “You aren’t even first wife yet. Doesn’t this bother you, recruiting a second wife you barely know before you are even married?”
“Well, it isn’t exactly what I imagined when I was a little girl.” Tanushree shrugged. “The world isn’t fair. I look at it this way, I survived a literal trip through hell, fought demons, saved my country, and met a truly good man that I ac
tually might have a future with. The situation is not perfect, but nothing is, and I want to protect Aodh and my friends. In this sort of fight, I am the expert, and I can do the most good.”
She twisted one of the rings on her fingers. “True friends are hard to come by, people who will stand by you when everything goes wrong. This may seem sudden to you, but it is for me too. The reality is that I’m also marrying a man I’ve known less than a month, and becoming queen of the country! A couple months ago, I was nervous about attending the Academy, now I’m going to be cutting its budget!
“Plus, there are some fights that can’t be won with swords and magic. I’m fighting for the country right now as hard as I was when I was in the V-Death killing demons.”
“V-Death?” I asked.
“It’s a long rotting story.” There was a knock at the door. She sighed and said, “I’ll tell you some other time. Unfortunately, I must leave now.”
Her unexpected cursing actually helped me loosen my nerves. I smiled and released floating time.
The noblewoman sat forward. “I know it’s sudden, and this is a lot to process, but what say you?”
My first, knee-jerk reaction was to refuse. A queen, I am no rotting hero, much less a queen! But I stopped myself, pausing to reflect. A number of things went through my mind.
As I sat quietly, I thought about my time with Benjamin. Part of why the relationship had fallen apart was that I didn’t want the responsibility of being a man’s first, much less sole, partner. I was really not very good at it, and I didn’t want the responsibility. Freedom meant a lot of different things to a lot of different people, and I knew that wearing a first-wife title would be too tight for me. This was a problem, since I really did feel like I wanted to settle down, have a family—a group of people who’d had my back.
My first mother had betrayed me, but I’d known people who’d had good families, and were better off for it. I wanted...better for myself and any children I might have one day.
But I was orb-Bonded, and if Tanushree was telling the truth, my life just grew even more complicated. A title like “Hero of Berber” was ridiculous for me, but would be very serious to a lot of people. I’d somehow gone from underqualified to ever seriously expect being approached for a second-wife spot in a family, to far overqualified in less than four years.
My life was ridiculous. Now that I thought about how I might look to others, I had to admit that most first wives wouldn’t want me joining their family. My position as second wife would be too weird, and shame them. After all, I was going to be the Hero of rotting Berber. Fake hero or real, it didn’t matter. Most people would expect me to be a first wife if I married. I really didn’t care about other people’s expectations, but I might actually need to marry a rotting king to be a second wife, much less a third!
The idea of meeting a man in the future, falling in love with him, but finding out I would have no place in his family had been my fear for most of my life. This was just the same thing from the other direction. At least I didn’t think I was unworthy of love anymore.
Being with Benjamin had helped me understand my value. Since then, I hadn’t been nearly as blind to the fact that some men noticed me. I had to admit that some people even found me attractive. Even with all the blood I had on my hands, part of me wanted romance and happiness on my terms, but realistically, could I ever truly settle as second wife in a family with a weak first wife? Probably not. In fact, honestly, how many families could handle me? The last few years had really driven home how intimidating ‘Bonded were perceived by many people.
On top of all that, since I was ‘Bonded, I was going to live for a long time. Wouldn’t my husband have to be ‘Bonded too unless I wanted to mourn the death of my partner before I even hit middle age? I’d thought about some of this before, but it felt like every decision I would need to make for the future was spinning in my head all at once.
I asked, “How much time would I have after an...announcement before the actual marriage?”
Tanushree’s eyes widened in surprise. “I didn’t cover that? Wow, I knew I forgot something. You and I both will have at least a few months to court with Aodh and to get to know each other if we decide to move forward with this. These circumstances are strange enough, we wouldn’t need to make it even harder on ourselves. Our engagements should be enough to keep most of the ambitious nobles in the capital at bay. We couldn’t take forever to marry after an announcement, but I wouldn’t marry a man I barely knew without some courting time, and I wouldn’t expect you to either.”
I nodded slowly. “I will think about it.”
“That is fair.” She ran a hand through her hair and stood. “How about you take a week?”
“Okay.” I definitely needed time to process all of this, and I was glad that it didn’t feel like I was being rushed.
“Good, I’ll be in touch,” said Tanushree. “If you need me for anything, the staff at the inn here can help you send me a note—my family owns this place.” She bowed before she let herself out of my room.
After a few minutes, I stood, restless. I had a lot on my mind, and no real outlet for dozens of churning emotions.
After unlatching my window, I opened it up and slipped out into the night, rising effortlessly to the roof of the inn. I sat down, my back against something vertical, and stayed that way for a while.
Behind my shoulder, I heard, “I have to admit, none of this turned out how I’d expected.”
I nodded at Enheduanna’s voice, not bothering to turn. The fact that she was up on the roof with me wasn’t nearly as surprising to me as it might have been in the past. “You heard?” I asked.
“Yes. You were interesting when I chose you, but I could have never guessed you would become my most important test subject.”
“That’s right, you predicted I’d die right away, didn’t you?” I turned to look at the demigoddess. She was wearing a dark dress and a thoughtful frown. A cool breeze blew through the city with promises of winter, lifting the ancient woman’s skirt. Her eyes were flat, and she was utterly serious for the first time since I’d known her. This made me wonder whether her insanity was real or an act. Maybe both. The woman had been alive for thousands of years, after all.
“You really should have died.” Enheduanna shook her head. “There is always some uncertainty in my predictions, but you have surprised me multiple times, even more so when you continued to thrive.”
That little bit of information sent a chill running down my spine that had nothing to do with the weather. I said, “I see.”
Enheduanna brushed some of her hair behind her ear. “I just came to tell you I will be close by for a while. You have become one of the most important Duanna orb test subjects I have ever had, and probably the second strangest.”
“Who was first?”
“A man who tried to be immortal and unkillable.”
“Did he do it, figure it out?” I asked.
“I think he did, at least he thinks so. He’s still alive, anyway.” Duanna scratched a cheek before giving me a very frank look. “Nora Hazard, I wanted to say thank you. There were other plans in place to prevent Asag from getting his way, but if he had succeeded, it would have been an enormous inconvenience and might have set my research back one hundred years. We can’t afford that now.”
“So what are you trying to say?”
“I guess I am trying to say that I might, maybe, sorta owe you a favor.”
“Oh? Then maybe I could go back in time and ask you to stop being so insane, or annoying, or ask you politely not to rotting kill me and raise me from the dead.” Most people would be too frightened of Duanna to talk to her like this; I would have been in the past. But now I’d known her for years, and I just couldn’t bring myself to care anymore. I was done being anyone but the real me...with anyone.
Enheduanna rolled her eyes. “Come on, Nora. I didn’t kill you, I saved you. So you are telling me that if you could go back in time to the point when we’d
first met, you’d let yourself die, or get transported to another continent?”
I almost responded in anger, but let it fade. Then I actually gave the question some serious thought. Finally I looked forward at my hands and said, “I guess not, and maybe I might have even considered buying Energy Blasts.”
Enheduanna smiled in the dark and winked. “You have grown. I guess this proves even a stupid monkey demon can learn new tricks.”
I turned in irritation, thinking about pointing Pewpew at the ridiculous woman, but she was already gone. Part of me had really been hoping that Enheduanna had actually transformed into a tolerable person, but I should have known better.
The roof grew colder as more time passed. I stared at the sky, watching the stars. The moon glowed like a dirty plate.
“Well, Arren,” I said, “I didn’t break my promise. Wherever you are, I hope you can see me now.” My eyes grew moist as I searched for what I wanted to say. “I did what you asked, didn’t give up. You really did know me well, better than I knew myself. My life has gotten crazy, though. I wish you were here with me, I miss you.”
My voice broke but I kept quietly speaking to my best friend, willing her to hear my words. “I love you, Arren. You will always be my sister, my real sister. And if I ever do become a queen, I promise to have a school or an orphanage made in your name. I know you’d like that. You were always so humble, but I will never forget you, and if I ever have the power, I will make sure others don’t either.”
A single tear ran down my cheek, but I didn’t brush it off. Like my memories, the tear was real, a reminder of the wonderful people I’d been honored to know.
I thought more about my life, replaying everything I’d done, all the people I’d met. Arren really had impacted my life in a huge way. I still found it amazing she’d had the foresight to force the promise out of me before she’d died. Things were different now, though. I’d finished the race, I’d persevered, but something felt missing now. After some more thought, I figured out what I needed to do.
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